Denying an Infant Baptism

[confusedgirl]

My husband and I are both Catholic. I’m a Cradle Catholic. He was baptized just 1 or 2 years ago.

We’re pregnant. My husband does not agree with me, on baptizing our child as soon as possible. He thinks we ought to wait for the baby to become an adult, so it could decide whether or not it wants to get baptized.

Is it a sin to deny our infant baptism? IF it is a sin, my husband will be at peace with letting the infant be baptized.

I wasn’t baptized but I sure wish my parents did when I was in Catholic school. My father is a lapsed cradle Catholic and didn’t think that it would be important. Now I am making up for lost time in RCIA. Don’t get me wrong I love learning but I would have much preferred to be born into a family where my parents held up the standard of God.

 

[confusedgirl]

Catholic parents are supposed to Baptize their children as infants. Not baptizing a child as an infant is more typical of some Evangelical-type Protestants.

Your child can make their own choice of being a Catholic or not at Confirmation.

This too

 

[pianistclare]

Not to derail, but unfortunately that is not what Confirmation is. Sorry hope I am not coming across as rude I don’t mean to be in any way at all. Although admittedly it has that reputation after decades of being given to teenagers as sort of a “Catholic Bar Mitzvah” when you are choosing the faith for yourself that really isn’t what it is and I feel bad for teens that feel that is what the beautiful sacrament of Confirmation is.

These Sacraments of initiation are free gifts from God pure and simple. Take the grace! It is there for the taking! Hope this makes sense, God bless your day.

\

Perhaps, but as we all know, many teens refuse to be Confirmed, and if they assert that they do not believe, or do not want the Sacrament, the priests will not present them to the Bishop. Part of what they say at the Confirmation Mass is that they certify and attest to the fact that the Confirmands are properly formed, and are desiring the Sacrament. If the student is NOT, he will not be willing to present them. Free or not.

But, as you say, this thread is about Baptism, not Confirmation.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

My husband and I are both Catholic. I’m a Cradle Catholic. He was baptized just 1 or 2 years ago.

We’re pregnant. My husband does not agree with me, on baptizing our child as soon as possible. He thinks we ought to wait for the baby to become an adult, so it could decide whether or not it wants to get baptized.

Is it a sin to deny our infant baptism? IF it is a sin, my husband will be at peace with letting the infant be baptized.

Your husband was baptized Catholic 1 or 2 years ago? That’s an awful short time to not know when it wAs. And if he made that decision anywhere from 365 to 730 days ago then he should readily affirm it by following church teaching in regaurd to the soul of his child…

 

[z_0101]

I think the OP’s spouse could be exempted from the class- as he was just baptized himself 1 or 2 years ago, and presumably received the instructions on baptism

Hmmm, we were not, and we had newborns only a few months after Easter.
Funniest thing here, having just gone thru RCIA, the Deacon and the Pastor had my wife and I almost teaching the class… with their assistance of course

 

[Evan]

You may want to point out that the theological opinion of many Church Theologians (Thomas Aquinas, Augustine) that unbaptized babies who die, do NOT go to heaven. The church has no definitive teaching on this and Jesus did not reveal what happens to the unbaptized young who die.

The Church holds out hope that there is some way they may get to heaven

Catechism paragraph 1261 As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused him to say: “Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,” allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism. All the more urgent is the Church’s call not to prevent little children coming to Christ through the gift of holy Baptism.

You, as the parent are responsible for getting them baptized, or this may be set before you when you face Jesus, the Just Judge.

 

[poche]

If I could show my husband that it is a canonical law of the church to baptize our baby as an infant… that it definitely is considered a sin by the church… then he will accept baptizing the baby.

But if it is not a sin, then he’s getting away with not baptizing the child…til it’s way, way older.

From the Code of Canon Law;

Can. 867 §1. Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks; as soon as possible after the birth or even before it, they are to go to the pastor to request the sacrament for their child and to be prepared properly for it.

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2X.HTM

 

[z_0101]

From the Code of Canon Law; Can. 867 §1.

See Post 7

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Catholic parents are supposed to Baptize their children as infants. Not baptizing a child as an infant is more typical of some Evangelical-type Protestants.

Your child can make their own choice of being a Catholic or not at Confirmation.

Theology of the Sacrament of Confirmation notwithstanding- this is incorrect.
Once you are baptized Catholic, that is it- for life.
It doesn’t matter if you are never confirmed or have your First Eucharist or any other Sacrament. Baptized in the Catholic faith- you are Catholic. Period.

You may choose not to practice,but that still doesn’t change the facts.

OP- you and your husband need to see your priest. Your husband, when he chose to become Catholic through RCIA made a commitment to his family and the Church. His wanting to renege tells me he has no understanding of the commitment he made.

 

[MarkInOregon]

My husband and I are both Catholic. I’m a Cradle Catholic. He was baptized just 1 or 2 years ago.

We’re pregnant. My husband does not agree with me, on baptizing our child as soon as possible. He thinks we ought to wait for the baby to become an adult, so it could decide whether or not it wants to get baptized.

Is it a sin to deny our infant baptism? IF it is a sin, my husband will be at peace with letting the infant be baptized.

You’ve already been given a list of things that we as parents do not wait until our children are older–in order for them to decide on–we as parents decide for the child because these things are important–doctors, dentists, good nutrition, education, exercise, etc… By your husband saying you should wait until the child is older so that your child can make the decision whether or not to be baptized implies that your husband does not believe that the faith is all that important–if he did believe faith was important–he would insist that your child be baptized and instructed in the faith just like he will make sure that your child goes to the doctor, eats nutritious food and gets an education among other things.

I think I’d start there and discuss why your husband doesn’t think the faith is important enough that it be taught to your child. Does he not really believe what the faith teaches? If he does believe in God and the Church–if he believes our faith is true–why would he not want to teach his child what he believes/knows to be true? Eventually your child will need to make the faith their own, they will need to make their own personal commitment to Christ and the faith–but as a parent if you don’t teach them what you believe and why you believe it–you put them at a great disadvantage and leave them vulnerable to what others assert we believe.

We don’t fail to teach our children things we believe are important in life and we don’t fail to get them the care they need and the sacraments are something they need just like they need vaccines. That’s what bothers me when someone says they’re going to wait and let their child make the decision when they are older–they’re are saying God and the faith and the sacraments aren’t all that important.

The peace of Christ,
Mark