Departed Relatives Appearing

[bitznbitez]

A 90+ year old woman has recently had a few times where her long deceased husband has appeared to her. Ignoring questions of “was it real or imagined” and assuming it was in fact real what does Catholic teaching say about such an event.

Is it always assumed to be demonic, sometimes demonic/sometimes real, etc.

 

[Tablefor9]

I would not assume this is demonic.

Particularly in my past work with hospice and ICU patients, I found it to be common for terminally or critically ill persons often see/hear things we can not. Our Lord’s ways are not our own. Many are comforted in their last bit of life by those they have shared life with.

Also, dementia or Alzheimer’s may play a part; it may not have been a “real” event, but a particularly vivid memory or a visual hallucination.

From a doctrinal standpoint, I don’t believe it’s the Church’s usual response to go demon first. There is some thought that when there are unexpected visitors, it’s a reminder to pray for the poor souls in purgatory. I wouldn’t worry about it, unless it was troubling or fear-inducing in some way.

 

[GEddie]

I would not assume this is demonic.

Particularly in my past work with hospice and ICU patients, I found it to be common for terminally or critically ill persons often see/hear things we can not. Our Lord’s ways are not our own. Many are comforted in their last bit of life by those they have shared life with.

From a doctrinal standpoint, I don’t believe it’s the Church’s usual response to go demon first.

It isn’t.

Even in situations when exorcism is called for, investigation must rule out biomedical or physical causes before one can be performed.

ICXC NIKA.

 

[Auntie_A]

My great aunt directed choirs at times in her life. At the end of her life, in her late 80’s, I would walk in on her directing her choir of little, invisible-to-me, angels and children. She saw and heard them all; I did not. I was 19 and only believed in the visible so I was angry with her.
Now I wish I knew then what I know now: she was preparing for, or being prepared for, heaven. I can’t see it as demonic. It gave her peace and happiness to do the thing she had always loved.
My aunt was a very virtuous woman, humble, pious, generous. I’m sure she was being shown the next world.

 

[Isca]

Two personal experiences of this come to mind:

As a student nurse, I attended a lady one morning who happily commented on the beautiful singing she was hearing. Her actual words were “It’s like angel voices”. I assumed it was a radio somewhere that she could hear, said a few words to her and left the room (she was sitting up in bed having breakfast). When I returned 5 minutes later, she had unexpectedly passed away, still sitting upright. It shook me then and I still think about it over 30 years later.

The second experience happened when my mum was dying at home. In her last few days, she spoke of my late father visiting her bedside in the afternoon, sometimes with a small boy. She said the child was Charlie, her older brother who had died as a toddler. She was not confused or delusional. I firmly believe that Charlie and dad had come to comfort her before she joined them.

 

[thankulord]

Beautiful gifts.

 

[Used2beSherryG]

Yes, my grandmother reported to me that her mother had come to stand by her bed right before she died. Her mother had passed away when she was about 12 years old. I believed her then and still do. Grandma died peacefully a couple days later. She asked me to pray for her to pass on as she was ready to go home, she said. I prayed for her peaceful death. I ask my grandma to pray for me all the time now. She was a holy woman.

 

[bitznbitez]

I wouldn’t worry about it, unless it was troubling or fear-inducing in some way.

I have volunteered in hospice for a few years, currently taking a break, and you are correct it isn’t uncommon at all for this to happen. In this particular situation, a relative of the family, it is troubling to the woman particularly because she, though born catholic, became as a youngster a member of a sect that teaches there is no soul separate from the body. Thus for her any apparition would be deemed demonic.

My question isn’t is it real/imagined but in the event it is real what is church teaching. How is it discerned. Is there any quasi official stuff on this ?

 

[GEddie]

I have volunteered in hospice for a few years, currently taking a break, and you are correct it isn’t uncommon at all for this to happen. In this particular situation, a relative of the family, it is troubling to the woman particularly because she, though born catholic, became as a youngster a member of a sect that teaches there is no soul separate from the body. Thus for her any apparition would be deemed demonic.

My question isn’t is it real/imagined but in the event it is real what is church teaching. How is it discerned. Is there any quasi official stuff on this ?

As I understand it, every such instance is assessed individually.

It is neither assumed to be true, nor to be illusion; still less as being demonic. It is taken at face value.

Usually, these occurrences are so very brief in duration, coming at the shadowy end of human life; that there is no rubric for formally “discerning” them.

ICXC NIKA.