Depressed and Rejected

[sunnygt]

I am a Catholic in my 20’s with a strong faith. I love the Catholic Church and although it seems that I have been given ample oppertunity (and what some people would consider to be a damned good reason) to leave the church, I refuse to because I wholeheartedly believe in the goodness of God and of His church and teachings.

I was molested by a priest when I was13. Not only was this a horrific experience for any young girl on the cusp of young adulthood, but I was also forced to keep it a secret from EVERYONE for legal purposes. None of my friends could know… most of them went to my Church and used to cry and bemoan the loss of this priest and all I could do was pretend that I agreed with them. My own brothers don’t know to this day. I wasn’t offered any counseling by my parents, and my abusive father (who i no longer have a relationship with) refused to acknowledge it and would browbeat my mother if she tried to help me. Basically, we pretended it never happened. But it did. To make a long story short, I leaned on my faith a LOT after the event and was eventually able to make peace with myself over it. I forgave my attacker, although I would never wish to encounter with him again understandably. The whole experience was definitely difficult but it did make me stronger and even deepened my faith… if God could get me through THAT, at such a young and tender age, then I trust He will see me safely through so much more. My faith is not perfect, and I go through periods when I feel completely disconnected from God and from my faith, but I always come back.

Right now is one of those times I feel disconnected and depressed by my faith. While I agree with basically everything that the Church believes, I do have differing views on the matter of contraception. I feel solid in my belief on this matter, and quite frankly I couldn’t change it if tried. I am also depressed by the fact that my marriage, which is a loving, loyal, and spiritually supportive relationship with my non-christian husband, is considered to be be illicit and illigitimate. It makes me sad and angry and feel like I am being rejected by the Church that I stood by lovingly and willingly when anyone else would have understood if I had left.

Sometimes I feel like everything I do is pointless and it doesn’t matter how devout my faith is because if I disagree on even one thing, I am a “bad” or “fake” Catholic because my own experiences (spiritual and secular) have led me to believe something different. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just wasting my time, and I’ll always be viewed as an outcast/reject in this Church that I love so much if I don’t forcibly change how I think on a few things (and I would be lying to myself and to God if I did so).

Sometimes I think about leaving, because why would anyone willingly subject themselves to rejection by something they love?

Advice is welcomed

 

[bsroufek]

Jesus said, “Anyone who loves father, mother, brother, sister, son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”

I’ve made the same mistake regarding marriage, but you must try to get right by seeing a priest either in person or in confession, and do what he tells you.

Leaving the Church is just plain out of the question. St. Peter said, “Lord, where can we go? You have the words of everlasting life.”

Get right, whatever you have to do. Hell is unspeakably horrible and unending; don’t go there.

 

[Zekariya]

Right now is one of those times I feel disconnected and depressed by my faith. While I agree with basically everything that the Church believes, I do have differing views on the matter of contraception. I feel solid in my belief on this matter, and quite frankly I couldn’t change it if tried. I am also depressed by the fact that my marriage, which is a loving, loyal, and spiritually supportive relationship with my non-christian husband, is considered to be be illicit and illigitimate. It makes me sad and angry and feel like I am being rejected by the Church that I stood by lovingly and willingly when anyone else would have understood if I had left.

Contraception:
Though you can’t logically convince yourself of the Church’s teaching on contraception, you are required to assent to it as it is inherently sinful and you are living the Catholic Faith. We do not have to understand why something is a sin in order fight it. Also, you do not sin if it is your husband that uses contraception. You are only responsible for yourself.

Marriage:
Have you attempted to receive a dispensation for disparity of cult (so that you can marry a non-Christian)? You can be validly married to a non-Christian.
See: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disparity_of_worship

Sometimes I feel like everything I do is pointless and it doesn’t matter how devout my faith is because if I disagree on even one thing, I am a “bad” or “fake” Catholic because my own experiences (spiritual and secular) have led me to believe something different. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just wasting my time, and I’ll always be viewed as an outcast/reject in this Church that I love so much if I don’t forcibly change how I think on a few things (and I would be lying to myself and to God if I did so).

All of us commit mortal sins. Assent to the teachings of the Church and humbly confess your mortal sins. It is a struggle to obey Christ. However, you lose if you decide to go your own way instead of the Catholic way established by Christ. If you fall into the sin of contraception four times a week, confess it and try to stop. Accept that the doctrine of the Church is correct even though you personally cannot understand it. All of us have some difficulties understanding God’s ways.

Proverbs 24:16 for a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again; but the wicked are overthrown by calamity.

I am sorry that you had such a traumatic experience. Keep up the faith till the end. Realize that you don’t have to understand everything in order to obey God. When you fall into sin, get back up and go to confession.

 

[ready]

I honestly do not mean to sound disrespectful, but you need to be in a lawful marriage to be faithful … and you need to be in a lawful marriage if you wish to receive Holy Communion worthily. I ask you to please get married; if you don’t, your feelings of rejection and depression will remain. You are not in a right relationship with God, it is natural that you feel depressed and rejected in such a state. God bless you.

 

[angell1]

yes, catholicism has some hard teachings. a lot of people hate us for it. but a lot fo people hated jesus as well. i guess it’s part of the package deal if we truly want to follow him. i didn’t use to understand the whole contraception being a sin either. until i started thinking about it more, and i realized it really promotes a sinful lifestyle. honestly, why are 2 people wanting to have sex if they know the consequences is you could possible get pregnant? contraception, not only frustrates the marital act but also gives a false sense of security. i can’t even count the number of times i’ve heart “but we used protection, this shouldn’t have happened” and ten off to the abortion clinic we go because of this “unwanted child”. result of this is that no one knows self control anymore. catholics are not required to have as many babies as possible; that’s not the point at all. i’m not saying about you personally; don’t get me wrong. but it seems to be the general trend these days. and yes, there are things you can do about your marriage; i think you should talk to your parish priest about it. stay strong and don’t give up; i will be praying for you

 

[HappySeeker]

Sunny, I read your post and my heart went out to you! It’s obvious that you love our Lord and that He has brought you through so much. I am touched that you’ve shared so honestly – what an inspiring faith you have in spite of what happened to you at 13. It just serves to remind us that mankind will always let us down, but our Savior won’t, doesn’t it? The fact that you’ve forgiven your attacker is a testimony to the enduring love of the Father and His gift to us through His only Son, so be encouraged and keep loving your husband and he will eventually find Christ through your example and prayers for him. In the meantime, given what you’ve shared, I implore you to speak to a Godly counselor for advice and encouragement as you grow in your faith. The kind folks at 1-855-771-4357 can counsel you, they are a family ministry who has helped a lot of us and there is no cost. I’ll be praying for you, please keep us posted!