Depression and conversion from JW

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excaliber

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Conversion from one religion to another is the hardest thing I have ever attempted. Conversion to a religion that is such the opposite of JW seems ALMOST impossible.

Conversion to a religion that’s the opposite of everything you were raised to believe…while going through a MAJOR depression IS IMPOSSIBLE.

I feel like I used everything I had trying to be a good Jehovahs witness…pioneered…went to bethel…etc…etc
Now that Im on empty…I find out that I need to convert to another church…and I pray until Im blue in the face…for things god would want…just a lil strength to read some of my bible( depression for me is the lack of any strenght to do ANYTHING) or I pray for little things like that. And its bad because I will wake up feeling worse then before…like if I could get up…Id jump of my house…LoL.

Praying is not helping…when you pray for help…you expect it…when nothing at all slightly good happens…you feel that its impossible for God to care…and yet answer no to a prayer for a little strength to read a bible…or go to mass…or a little faith or somethin.

its like the devil has me in a checkmate…I ofcourse am not married have no kids…just the absence of everything.

How on earth am I supposed to convert under these conditions?
This aint even fair…its the devil hitting me…the me hitting the floor. then he just keeps kicken so I can never get back up.
 
quote: excaliber
…Conversion to a religion that’s the opposite of everything you were raised to believe…while going through a MAJOR depression IS IMPOSSIBLE.
…depression for me is the lack of any strenght to do ANYTHING…
…And its bad because I will wake up feeling worse then before…
I’m sorry that you feel depressed, and I do understand the feeling of
not having the strength to accomplish much, when depression is present.
Fr. Groeschel has said that one might take the “next good step,” in a given situation.
Informing one’s personal physician - of how one is feeling - is often a good step.
God walk with you and bring comfort to you, each day.

reen12
 
Conversion from one religion to another is the hardest thing I have ever attempted. Conversion to a religion that is such the opposite of JW seems ALMOST impossible.

Conversion to a religion that’s the opposite of everything you were raised to believe…while going through a MAJOR depression IS IMPOSSIBLE.

I feel like I used everything I had trying to be a good Jehovahs witness…pioneered…went to bethel…etc…etc
Now that Im on empty…I find out that I need to convert to another church…and I pray until Im blue in the face…for things god would want…just a lil strength to read some of my bible( depression for me is the lack of any strenght to do ANYTHING) or I pray for little things like that. And its bad because I will wake up feeling worse then before…like if I could get up…Id jump of my house…LoL.

Praying is not helping…when you pray for help…you expect it…when nothing at all slightly good happens…you feel that its impossible for God to care…and yet answer no to a prayer for a little strength to read a bible…or go to mass…or a little faith or somethin.

its like the devil has me in a checkmate…I ofcourse am not married have no kids…just the absence of everything.

How on earth am I supposed to convert under these conditions?
This aint even fair…its the devil hitting me…the me hitting the floor. then he just keeps kicken so I can never get back up.
Go top your local Catholic Church when there are no services going on. Sit down in a pew, close your eye lean back and let the Spirit enter. You are sitting in the presence of the Lord-not just his spirt but his physical body. You can see were he resides by looking around and finding a gold tabenacle with a red light/candle burning next to it.

You dont have to do anyhting else-just let go, let God.
 
Dear Excaliber,
I will pray for you.
I’ll ask God to give you peace and strength.
I think you might already know this, but Our Lord has you in His hands right now. He loves you. He’s giving you graces to draw near to Him.

Love in Christ
 
Go top your local Catholic Church when there are no services going on. Sit down in a pew, close your eye lean back and let the Spirit enter. You are sitting in the presence of the Lord-not just his spirt but his physical body. You can see were he resides by looking around and finding a gold tabenacle with a red light/candle burning next to it.

You dont have to do anyhting else-just let go, let God.
I will go today…I finaly got up because I had not eaten and was feeling light headed.
I did not know church was open all the time…but I will go today if it is.
 
Hey I tried…but the church doors are locked.

Now you get an idea of what Im talking about…nothing works…every effort ends in disapointment.

Im thinking of what to pray about…and here I am yanking on locked doors.

well at least I got a laugh out of it.
 
Hey I tried…but the church doors are locked.

Now you get an idea of what Im talking about…nothing works…every effort ends in disapointment.

Im thinking of what to pray about…and here I am yanking on locked doors.

well at least I got a laugh out of it.
Strange. Well at least it cheereed you up for a minute!
 
Dear excaliber,

God has seen the effort you went through to go to Him today, and the fact that you did what you could is so special to Him. Your physical pilgrimage today, journeying towards Him, was itself a prayer. He knows your longing, your faith, your trust.

Praying for you through Scripture, from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Short reading Hebrews 12:22 - 24 ©
What you have come to is Mount Zion and the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem where the millions of angels have gathered for the festival, with the whole Church in which everyone is a ’first-born son’ and a citizen of heaven. You have come to God himself, the supreme Judge, and been placed with spirits of the saints who have been made perfect; and to Jesus, the mediator who brings a new covenant and a blood for purification which pleads more insistently than Abel’s.

You have stood at the door and knocked, be persistent, and it shall be opened to you.

There’s a web page where you can look up churches near you, I think called MassTimes.org … which for some churches lists places, times, and dates where Adoration takes place. If you like, I’ll look up that website for you so you can type in your city or other information and locate a church to see when it’s open for Adoration … As well, I’ll check the web and see if I can find Adoration Chapels for you.

Don’t give up, because God will not give up on you.

~~ the phoenix
 
Strange. Well at least it cheereed you up for a minute!
Sometims laughing is better then crying in public. I was not cheered up…I was embarrassed.

When I was a Jw people used to tell me the same stuff…"God saw your effort in coming to the kingdomhall…he is going to reward you…etc…etc…etc…

Every church says that stuff…I want the real thing…you have no Idea how easy I am to please…I don’t ask for much. Just a simple answer to my prayer would solve the whooooole problem.
 
Excaliber,
Since I’ve known you longer than anyone else on here, I felt I should give you some of my thoughts and responses to your statements.
Conversion from one religion to another is the hardest thing I have ever attempted. Conversion to a religion that is such the opposite of JW seems ALMOST impossible.
This I do not doubt. Knowing what I know about the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I would think that this would be one of the more difficult religions to convert from. (I suppose Islam might perhaps be more difficult, but certainly the JW’s present some unique challenges.) Just remember that you have a support team both here and on Catholic Community Forums.
Conversion to a religion that’s the opposite of everything you were raised to believe…while going through a MAJOR depression IS IMPOSSIBLE.
I feel like I used everything I had trying to be a good Jehovahs witness…pioneered…went to bethel…etc…etc
I read this and immediately had a thought. You are still very new to Catholicism, and have much to learn. Once more, you’re still finding your OWN place within the religion. Now, as a Jehovah’s Witness, much of your time was spent witnessing to other people. However, before you get back into the swing and start teaching other people about your faith, you need to rediscover what your OWN faith is and what it means to you in its new context first. Further, the Jehovah’s Witnesses are very good about diverting people from ANYTHING but their work, since the Final Judgment is imminent. For Catholics, while it is great to devote yourself to your religion 100%, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to actively do religious things 24 hours a day. Part of your conversion should also entail socialization. You should find some new friends, since I imagine most of your former ones are JW’s. They don’t have to be Catholic either, I might add. Try getting involved in some things that would NOT have been permitted by the JW’s. Go and volunteer for a charity. Take a history class. Get a hobby. Do some things that get you out and enjoying the world with people, rather than confining yourself and preparing for the end of days. This will go a long way toward changing your mindset.
Now that Im on empty…I find out that I need to convert to another church…and I pray until Im blue in the face…for things god would want…just a lil strength to read some of my bible( depression for me is the lack of any strenght to do ANYTHING) or I pray for little things like that. And its bad because I will wake up feeling worse then before…like if I could get up…Id jump of my house…LoL.
Remember that God always hears our prayers, and he always answers them. However, it’s entirely possible that the answer might not be what we want to hear. It is easy to pray to God during good times. What is important, however, is to know that he gives us the strength to get THROUGH the bad times. Jesus prayed at Gethsemane just before he was to be crucified, and he certainly didn’t receive any relief. That doesn’t, however, mean that God stopped loving him or watching over him. It simply had to be.
Praying is not helping…when you pray for help…you expect it…when nothing at all slightly good happens…you feel that its impossible for God to care…and yet answer no to a prayer for a little strength to read a bible…or go to mass…or a little faith or somethin.
Another thing, with regard to my comments about getting out and meeting people, and getting some non-church related hobbies. God also intends for us to help ourselves. I know I’m going to murder this story, but it goes something like this…

Two men were trapped in a tree during a flood, and one of them was very religious. A boat went by in the distance, and one of the men said, “If we can just swim to the boat, we’ll be saved!” The other said, “I know that God will protect me and rescue me, just wait and see!” So, they waited. Next, a helicopter flew by. The first man yells, “We’re saved!” The other said, “Just wait! I will pray to God and he will provide a miracle to save us!” Finally, some driftwood floated by in the water. The first man says, “That’s it, I’m done waiting!” He jumps in the water, and grabs the driftwood and swims away. The second man says, “Just wait and see! God will save me!” Soon, the water rose so high that the second man died. He now stood before God. Somewhat frustrated, he asked, “God, why on earth didn’t you save me! I prayed and prayed for a miracle!” God said, “Weren’t you paying attention? I sent a boat, helicopter, and even driftwood! Did you expect me to do everything for you! You need to help yourself too!”
its like the devil has me in a checkmate…I ofcourse am not married have no kids…just the absence of everything.
How on earth am I supposed to convert under these conditions?
This aint even fair…its the devil hitting me…the me hitting the floor. then he just keeps kicken so I can never get back up.
I honestly think that a large part of your problem is that you simply haven’t met very many people yet from your new faith. I realize that that can be hard. Catholicism tends to be much more of a personal religion in many ways, where the JW’s are much more social, at least with each other. Many Catholics DO socialize at their church, but for Catholics, the church is just one of many other social outlets in their lives. Does your church have coffee and doughnuts after Mass? Why not go there and ask father to introduce you to some people. Explain your situation. Be sure to talk about religious AND non-religious matters. Beyond that, look for other opportunities to socialize. That should help alleviate some of the isolation that you feel. You will probably also want to limit your contact with anything JW, at least for now. Instead of worrying how to convert them to the true faith, spend a little time on yourself and your own faith first. That is not a sin.

One of the great things about Catholicism is that there is SO much to know. You can learn about it for your whole life, and there is always some other aspect of it that you can learn about. Catholic faith can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be. That said, it is possible, sometimes, to overthink things. As long as you’re going to Mass, you believe in the Trinity, you’re not committing any mortal sins, and you’re continuing on your path to conversion, you’re in good shape!

Finally, I’m sorry that you went to pray at your church and that the doors were locked. Usually that is not the case, but sadly, with theft in some cities a problem, some churches do now lock their doors. That said, you can pray anywhere. A good project for you might be to set up a small home shrine or prayer corner where you can pray right at home. They can be simple or elaborate, but most contain a crucifix, rosary, Bible, a couple of candles, and some pictures or statues of your favorite saints. Any other religious books you have might find a home there too.

Hopefully, that helps! WB if you want to talk!
 

Praying is not helping…when you pray for help…you expect it…when nothing at all slightly good happens…you feel that its impossible for God to care…and yet answer no to a prayer for a little strength to read a bible…or go to mass…or a little faith or somethin.
Do you have a book which gives the daily readings?

Do you have a “Liturgy of the Hours” book?

Simply reading the bible is praying. Reading the LotH and daily readings is bible prayer that very wise people have arranged to illuminate specific points of what it means to be Christian.

Do you pray the rosary?

These prayers are never not answered by God Himself. NO is never the answer to prayer. The YES that you do get may be to the question you most wisely should have asked, but didn’t. Ask God in prayer to tell you what the question you should have asked was. He will answer you most wisely, as you already know.
 
Excaliber,
Since I’ve known you longer than anyone else on here, I felt I should give you some of my thoughts and responses to your statements.

This I do not doubt. Knowing what I know about the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I would think that this would be one of the more difficult religions to convert from. (I suppose Islam might perhaps be more difficult, but certainly the JW’s present some unique challenges.) Just remember that you have a support team both here and on Catholic Community Forums.

I read this and immediately had a thought. You are still very new to Catholicism, and have much to learn. Once more, you’re still finding your OWN place within the religion. Now, as a Jehovah’s Witness, much of your time was spent witnessing to other people. However, before you get back into the swing and start teaching other people about your faith, you need to rediscover what your OWN faith is and what it means to you in its new context first. Further, the Jehovah’s Witnesses are very good about diverting people from ANYTHING but their work, since the Final Judgment is imminent. For Catholics, while it is great to devote yourself to your religion 100%, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to actively do religious things 24 hours a day. Part of your conversion should also entail socialization. You should find some new friends, since I imagine most of your former ones are JW’s. They don’t have to be Catholic either, I might add. Try getting involved in some things that would NOT have been permitted by the JW’s. Go and volunteer for a charity. Take a history class. Get a hobby. Do some things that get you out and enjoying the world with people, rather than confining yourself and preparing for the end of days. This will go a long way toward changing your mindset.

Remember that God always hears our prayers, and he always answers them. However, it’s entirely possible that the answer might not be what we want to hear. It is easy to pray to God during good times. What is important, however, is to know that he gives us the strength to get THROUGH the bad times. Jesus prayed at Gethsemane just before he was to be crucified, and he certainly didn’t receive any relief. That doesn’t, however, mean that God stopped loving him or watching over him. It simply had to be.

Another thing, with regard to my comments about getting out and meeting people, and getting some non-church related hobbies. God also intends for us to help ourselves. I know I’m going to murder this story, but it goes something like this…

Two men were trapped in a tree during a flood, and one of them was very religious. A boat went by in the distance, and one of the men said, “If we can just swim to the boat, we’ll be saved!” The other said, “I know that God will protect me and rescue me, just wait and see!” So, they waited. Next, a helicopter flew by. The first man yells, “We’re saved!” The other said, “Just wait! I will pray to God and he will provide a miracle to save us!” Finally, some driftwood floated by in the water. The first man says, “That’s it, I’m done waiting!” He jumps in the water, and grabs the driftwood and swims away. The second man says, “Just wait and see! God will save me!” Soon, the water rose so high that the second man died. He now stood before God. Somewhat frustrated, he asked, “God, why on earth didn’t you save me! I prayed and prayed for a miracle!” God said, “Weren’t you paying attention? I sent a boat, helicopter, and even driftwood! Did you expect me to do everything for you! You need to help yourself too!”

I honestly think that a large part of your problem is that you simply haven’t met very many people yet from your new faith. I realize that that can be hard. Catholicism tends to be much more of a personal religion in many ways, where the JW’s are much more social, at least with each other. Many Catholics DO socialize at their church, but for Catholics, the church is just one of many other social outlets in their lives. Does your church have coffee and doughnuts after Mass? Why not go there and ask father to introduce you to some people. Explain your situation. Be sure to talk about religious AND non-religious matters. Beyond that, look for other opportunities to socialize. That should help alleviate some of the isolation that you feel. You will probably also want to limit your contact with anything JW, at least for now. Instead of worrying how to convert them to the true faith, spend a little time on yourself and your own faith first. That is not a sin.

One of the great things about Catholicism is that there is SO much to know. You can learn about it for your whole life, and there is always some other aspect of it that you can learn about. Catholic faith can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be. That said, it is possible, sometimes, to overthink things. As long as you’re going to Mass, you believe in the Trinity, you’re not committing any mortal sins, and you’re continuing on your path to conversion, you’re in good shape!

Finally, I’m sorry that you went to pray at your church and that the doors were locked. Usually that is not the case, but sadly, with theft in some cities a problem, some churches do now lock their doors. That said, you can pray anywhere. A good project for you might be to set up a small home shrine or prayer corner where you can pray right at home. They can be simple or elaborate, but most contain a crucifix, rosary, Bible, a couple of candles, and some pictures or statues of your favorite saints. Any other religious books you have might find a home there too.

Hopefully, that helps! WB if you want to talk!
Hi Rolltide

Yes you have known me for some time now…and you know how LONG I have been trying.

Dose it not seem strange to you that in all that time…I have yet to be able to get involved in or get to know a parish. And I joined like two or three groups…but third shift makes it impossible.

I know people who are not Catholic or Jw…but they are not christian…so they will want to smoke weed and go to the strip club…and who knows what else.
Im trying to avoid that…nothin against them but I would prefer not to be all in to that stuff.

Your story is cool…I heard it before. I wish God would send me a helicopter…it would be cool to ride to church…LOL

But I know what you mean…its just…what do you want me to do?

To be frank…I am normaly the only young African American at any church around me…and the only ex jw…I may aswell be from mars.
I think that has a lot to do with it.
Not bieng able to relate to anyone.
I will try to call the priest…but I bet you any amont of money, he won’t be there. Then I probably won’t get called back for whatever reason.

I’ve been tryin…but nothin is workin and I can’t keep taking this for to much longer… Its probably been a few months aaway from a year of this same thing.
 
Sounds to me like you’re in a wrestling match with satan-he doesn’t give up so easily, especially when you’re moving away from his grasp. Perservere and you’ll win. I think you’re doing that now, whether you know it or not, and even if it might feel like all is lost. We’ll pray for you, too.
 
Hi Excaliber,

I have two relatives who have been JWs for many years. I have prayed for them for all those years, as have other family members. In all that time, they have not visibly wavered from following the teachings of the Watchtower. I have seen the influence that this organization has on the entire life and psyche of a person.

So, to me, you are a walking, talking miracle. The fact that a former JW has found the fortitude to break away is a great inspiration to me and gives me hope. To know that you have been able to see the truths of the Catholic Church, even in the midst of JW bible study and door-to-door witnessing - this encourages me greatly.

I would like to say to you: Don’t give up! Our Heavenly Father has brought you tremendously far on your journey to Truth! Please keep trying, and keep praying. Knowing the effect the JWs have on my relatives, I suspect that you may need to somewhat “rebuild” your psyche and re-awaken your very soul. Please pray for the Holy Spirit to help you through this. I will pray for your healing.

God bless you!
 
Do you have a book which gives the daily readings?

Do you have a “Liturgy of the Hours” book?

Simply reading the bible is praying. Reading the LotH and daily readings is bible prayer that very wise people have arranged to illuminate specific points of what it means to be Christian.

Do you pray the rosary?

These prayers are never not answered by God Himself. NO is never the answer to prayer. The YES that you do get may be to the question you most wisely should have asked, but didn’t. Ask God in prayer to tell you what the question you should have asked was. He will answer you most wisely, as you already know.
I don’t have litergy of the hours…but I have other books. I don’t think there is a shortage of books…I think there is a lack of understanding between jW and Catholic. These two religions are EXTREMELY not compatible in any way shape or form. Most Catholics do not understand that…I was not lutheran…or Orthodox…or Anglican…there are no simularities. Jw’s don’t…fast…neel…have rosery…have holy water…have holy orders…don’t even know what litergy is…don’t know a thing about Mary…or the Trinity…or even The Divinity of Christ…or have priests…ok lets just say NOTHING is the same. The mental attitude of a Catholic and Jw are so different that It would take years to adapt. My point is that I canot just walk out of a kingdomhall and into a Catholic church and begin being Catholic alone…because its not september or rcia yet. Any more then you can walk out of a Catholic church get into an airplane and just start using all the instruments on that plane and fly it to hawaii. Its realy THAT different.

RCIA is particularly foreign to any JW. I will be honest…I don’t like it…how am I going to get into a class room with a bunch of anglicans and Orthodox and learn at the same pace as them.
I won’t even get into having to begin classes at a particular time of month.

I have called churches and they literally tell you that they will call you back in like 4 months…WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?

I guess you can see that I STILL don’t understand Catholics LOL. I have no doubt that the Catholic Church was started by God…but I donot understand the people.

But yea I got books…I just need help using them.
 
Hi Rolltide

To be frank…I am normaly the only young African American at any church around me…and the only ex jw…I may aswell be from mars.
I think that has a lot to do with it.
Not bieng able to relate to anyone.
Hi excaliber I would first like to direct you to ewtn.com and to listen to their Journey Home program from May 19 with guest Tom Cabeen a former JW. He mentions a website he is involved with but I forget the url so please listen to the interview and hopefully that and the website he mentions will help you.

Secondly I can relate to the situation of feeling like an alien but you know who can relate even better? Jesus of course. If you dont own one buy a crucifix and just look at it and think about it.

I also just wanted to say when I was in high school two of my classmates were jw and we got along fairly well except of course we would never discuss religion as I am Catholic and they were very anti Catholic and it hurt to hear what they said. I lost touch with them after high school and later heard from a common friend that one had ended up in a kind of care home due to serious depression. I pray for that person once in a while and I will pray for you that God may help you because wow you are considering the Catholic church and with a jw background yeah I think it must be very hard. Also I give you credit for having the nerve to actually try to enter a church because I know it can be very intimidating for non Catholics, and even lapsed Catholics so keep trying!

Finally en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hound_of_Heaven
poetry.elcore.net/HoundOfHeavenInRtT.html
 
excalibur, have you been in touch with the Coming Home Network (CHN)at all? They have a forum there, too and I saw that some JWs posted there in the past. I doubt the offices are open today but you could contact them and perhaps they can put you in touch with someone who made a similar journey. They will understand the compatibility issues better than others.

Depression makes everyday things harder, never mind life changing conversions. I hope you have sought and found competent medical help for the depression.
I have called churches and they literally tell you that they will call you back in like 4 months…WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?
I have no idea…seems pretty thoughtless - please call CHN and in the meantime check out the forum.
 
Hi excaliber I would first like to direct you to ewtn.com and to listen to their Journey Home program from May 19 with guest Tom Cabeen a former JW. He mentions a website he is involved with but I forget the url so please listen to the interview and hopefully that and the website he mentions will help you.

Secondly I can relate to the situation of feeling like an alien but you know who can relate even better? Jesus of course. If you dont own one buy a crucifix and just look at it and think about it.

I also just wanted to say when I was in high school two of my classmates were jw and we got along fairly well except of course we would never discuss religion as I am Catholic and they were very anti Catholic and it hurt to hear what they said. I lost touch with them after high school and later heard from a common friend that one had ended up in a kind of care home due to serious depression. I pray for that person once in a while and I will pray for you that God may help you because wow you are considering the Catholic church and with a jw background yeah I think it must be very hard. Also I give you credit for having the nerve to actually try to enter a church because I know it can be very intimidating for non Catholics, and even lapsed Catholics so keep trying!

Finally en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hound_of_Heaven
poetry.elcore.net/HoundOfHeavenInRtT.html
I saw the journey home with tom on there…it was nice to see that two former bethelites made it…both him and Jef shwim.
The difference between them and me is that tom went to some evangelicals…then the Anglicans…and finaly the Catholics.

Jef shims wife or family had background in catholosism.

I however don’t have realitives that can help. and ofcourse no spouse. I visited the Orthodox a couple of times…and they were friendly…but that’s cus they are a smaller church…the people noticed that I was new. But I can’t go back because I don’t believe.

And yea Going to a Catholic church alone to pray is intimidating, they have the lights out sometimes too…but I just marched twords that church…but the doors were locked. Mabey its for the best…because I WOULD have gone in…and I probably would have fainted, because of bieng alone with all the lights out.
 
I am sorry to hear about the troubles you have been having. Please remember, depression is not only emotional and psychological, it is also physical. Please force yourself to go outside everyday and do something, walking, jogging, fishing, sit on the porch and read a book. Read just for pleasure, you do not have to work on your conversion 24 hours a day. God is witnessed not only through other people and writing, but through his creation also. You should also get your church bulletin and find something to get involved in. You can help sort food at the food bank, something like that. Doing something physical will probably help to make you feel better, as will helping others. If you’re like me it will take a bit of time for you to get to know anyone in your new community, but finding at least one ministry to be involved in will go a long way. My prayers are with you.
 
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