Depression, Loved Ones & the Holidays

[Swan]

I’m bipolar and and this time of year is very difficult for me. My depression is worse this time of year than any other. I know how hard it can be for my loved ones to understand and have patience with my problem and I just wanted to take a moment to ask those of you who have loved ones suffering with depression and other mental illnesses to have patience with us, especially during the holidays as this is generally a very difficult time for depression sufferers.

I’ve had this problem for a very long time but it wasn’t until I checked myself into the psych ward in 1992 for suicidal depression that most of my loved ones finally “got” that I was mentally ill. Depression, indeed most mental illness, is too often viewed as something the sufferer can control, (i.e., overcome with sheer willpower: “just cheer up”, “don’t think about it”, etc…). Most folks would never even consider making similar comments to folks suffering from heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, etc. But because mental illness is something we can’t see on a medical test (MRI, xray, CT scan, blood test, etc) people often fail to recongize it for the true “illness” it is.

I know my loved ones sometimes want to scream with frustration - but then, so do I. Most of us try very, very hard. We’re doing the best we can. We know it’s hard for you and that can make it even worse for us. We feel useless, helpless, burdensome. Remember, it’s an illness - we aren’t always rational, our “reality” is often skewed. Our illness is very difficult to treat - making it even worse.

So, please, love us, have patience with us. Be there for us. You can’t imagine how much that means to us.

Thanks.

 

[Trishie]

It is kind of you to wish to make things easier for others suffering depression as you do.
Many of us do know that you can’t 'just snap out of it" and try to be understanding with our loved ones who suffer depression…but it can be somewhat confusing to sincere people. It can take some time for some who have never suffered depression and mental illness, so your clear appeal for understanding may help to make some family Christmases more serene.

God bless you and all sufferers of depression and mental illness, and your families. And may you have peaceful and pleasant Christmas this year.

Warm regards, Trishie

 

[crohnie4life]

hi swan, my heart goes out to you. I tend to get depressed myself during the holidays now because I lost my gram 2 yrs. ago and my dear FIL a few yrs. ago. On top of that, I have been dealing with some serious health problems that’s enough to make anybody depressed.

I even got to the point last week of just having a good cry and talking to Jesus about why I felt the way I did.

Take heart and know that our Lord and Saviour hears your prayers and is with you during this blessed season.

Many blessings to you,

Lisa

 

[Salonika]

Swan:

I’m bipolar and and this time of year is very difficult for me. My depression is worse this time of year than any other. I know how hard it can be for my loved ones to understand and have patience with my problem and I just wanted to take a moment to ask those of you who have loved ones suffering with depression and other mental illnesses to have patience with us, especially during the holidays as this is generally a very difficult time for depression sufferers.

…

So, please, love us, have patience with us. Be there for us. You can’t imagine how much that means to us.

Thanks.

If Christmas is difficult for those who feel a bit down, it must be so much worse for those who have full-blown depression.

There can be so much pressure at Christmas to be happy, to join in celebrations and to do a lot of mixing.

There can also be attempts to “jolly” people out of how they feel, to tell them that “how can you feel that way at Christmas” or even to “cheer up for the children’s sake - Christmas is really a time for them.”

If your post helps only a few people to be more understanding, and to not take how somone is feeling as a reflection of them personally, it will be worth its weight in gold.