Depression, need some help

  • Thread starter Thread starter thesearch
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

thesearch

Guest
I haven’t been on here for a long time. But this is the only place I thought to turn. I’ve been struggling with depression for the last 2 months, maybe longer. At first I thought it would pass, but now its so much worse. I can’t sleep (maybe I sleep about 3 hours a night) but I’m always tired, I cry ALL the time. Its affecting my marriage. My husband doesn’t know what to do. It stems from a few things, I know this. First, I spent thousands of dollars pursuing an education and after hundreds or resumes and a few interviews, I have nothing in my field. I feel like a failure, like I put us in so much debt that we can’t find away out and I don’t have a thing to show for it except a stupid piece of paper, which apparently doesn’t do a thing for me. I work a terrible job just until I find a better one but I can’t seem to. This job is whats driving me crazy. Its in a call center and I listen to people scream and yell at me all day. The days are long and I work until the wee hours of the morning. I never see my husband unless I call in sick. The employers treat the employees like dirt. Anyway, I’m ready to just find a part-time at mcdonalds if I need to. My husband wishes I could quit but we just can’t afford it because of my stupid loans. To add to it, I stopped smoking marijuana a few weeks ago (decided enough was enough, it wasn’t helping the depression) after 5 years of everyday use. So of course, I have withdrawls. I just can’t stand it (but I won’t relapse).

I’m currently seeking a councillor. But here’s where the forum kicks in. I’ve never been religious or “into God”. Noone has ever taught me to be or shown me the way. But today as I was waiting for the bus, a man was talking to a woman about God and the bible with such conviction. At first I just rolled my eyes and thought of a bunch of ways that I could contradict his message, but later I got thinking, “why on this very day, that I’m bawling my eyes out and being so depressed, did this guy decide to start ranting about God?” I see him almost everyday and he has never said a word before. Maybe I’m supposed to ask God for help? I don’t know.

What should I do? What do you suggest?

TIA
 
well most likely you wont get to much help from me. and others will give alot of good advice but. I think you should ask God for help.
Just think… he sent his only son to die for all of us. He will give you anything you ask for that is good for you. seriously ask for help.
he will give it to you sooooo abundantly. Just ask. thats all i have so far as advice.

P.S TALK to people about your problems and stuff. it helps soo much. dont only talk on here to. I cant think of any were else. but just talk. ALSO PM me if you want. we can talk.
  • Mini gerbel 👍
 
I agree with asking God for help - but don’t discount the fact that that help may come from a psychiatrist in the form of an anti-depressant. Trust me - I spent years in depression and avoiding treatment thinking that if I just had more faith in God all would be better.
 
To seek medical help would be most wise and prudent…depression is an illness. Most importantly pray and ask for God’s help and also for your therapist and doctor. Often people are very reluctant to approach a psychiatrist having the attitude that such is only for the ‘mad’ or mentally ill. A psychiatrist rather has many functions besides treating illness and depression is indeed a mental illness - hence asks medical treatment.
Although personally I do not know of this site, I have heard good reports about it including from our Australian Catholic news(I suffer Bipolar incidentally) - it is an Australian site but they do have an online help facility, which is not a public forum - rather you post your question and they send you a reply…it may be helpful, but take the advice from a sufferer of MI - nothing can replace*** prayer*** with a*** good doctor and medication*** if medication is advised. I have a psychiatrist (whom nowadays I only see if necessary) and am on daily medication and probably for life. I live a completely normal life in every way and am a student on an adult campus…doubtless if I ceased my medication I would be a complete mental disaster area.
sane.org/
There are sites on the internet that have public forums, but personally I know nothing about them but I can acknowledge that talking with other sufferers can be a great help…but not replace prayer and a good doctor and medication I stress.

Keeping you in prayer…God bless…Barb:)
 
I will pray for you, and may our loving and merciful God guide you in this difficult journey. Trust in God and submit yourself to the Lord in all things. In time this difficult time in your life will pass. God has plans for you, and they may be completely different than your own.

May the Lord bless you.
 
I want to reiterate what has been said: seek medical attention.

If nothing else, I’d address that insomnia. Insomnia makes depression worse. If you could just sleep 8 hours a night, I’m certain you’d feel a little better. You can’t think or “feel” straight if you’re constantly worn out.

You might need the help of a financial councillor. That job is no good for you. I’ve worked in call centres. It takes some resillience to do that job: it’s not for fragile souls. Your soul is fragile right now. You need to budget to find a means to live, even if it means moving to a tiny apartment just for the time being. While it’s true it might seem like a step down, you’re actually empowering yourself: you’re empowering yourself to pay back that debt and get back on your feet. You’ll feel a lot better if you don’t have to worry about the bills so much. If you can pay the rent and know that there’s food on the table, that’s one less thing to be depressed about. And that job…working until wee hours of the morning probably makes your insomnia worse. I’ve done that too. You need to get into a cycle of going to bed at the same hour every night and waking up at about the same hour.

I see you’re located in Toronto. I’m in Ottawa. There are probably lots of jobs out there in Temp Agencies. It’s definitively a step up from McDonald’s. If you have some kind of diploma, they’re probably looking for someone like you. Sure, it may not be directly related to your field. But it beats the heck out of working at McDonalds. Just so you can get your foot in somewhere else. Fast food and other low-wage ****** jobs like that are grossly stressful and won’t help your mental condition. You need a nice quiet job like receptionist in a quiet setting, etc. Really, if you’re in Toronto, don’t settle for $8 an hour. A Temp Agency might be able to direct you to a government job that pays slightly better and is slightly less stressful. I’ve worked for the Ontario Ministry of the Environment as a Temp. It was a bit stressful, and the pay was the pits, but it was better than working retail, that’s for sure.

I think you should also seek medical attention for the marijuana withdrawal. Do you have a family doctor? I know that’s a problem with many people.

As for God: right now, you’re in a tough spot. God made you and God loves you and God knows what you need.

As it is, seeking this forum is a means that God is communicating with you. I’ve offered some practical advice (and I think that, it’s probably sane). Others may have other points. That’s how God works. Through the regular events of people’s lives, God speaks to ordinary people, but we have to listen to what he is saying.

I’d start by reading the four Gospels. Just take in the things Jesus says. Apply what you understand to be true (of course I think it’s all true, but you may not understand it all). That’s another way God speaks. If you have trouble with a passage, we’re here to help you with it.

Pray. Talk to God about your problems. He wants to hear them. Sometimes God is the only shoulder to cry on. When you’re having one of your crying episodes, tell God about it. The way he answers isn’t always immediate. The answers may come in some ordinary event, or some coincidental intervention. Or from your reading the Bible. You have to be open to see God’s hand in your life-- praying is not just only talking, it’s being able to listen to God.

Take things one day, one hour at a time.You’re in a tough spot. Count on God to get you out of that difficult hour or day. Rest assured that even when things look horrible, it’s all part of his divine plan of love. He is taking care of you, even if you do not experience that feeling. That is what faith is: to trust in God’s love even if our own thoughts and reactions tell us otherwise.

Faith builds faith. The more you trust in God, the more you will see his intervention in your life.

And work on becoming a more loving, selfless person. Selfishness blinds us to God’s words. Selflessness makes us humble and open to him.

God wants you to be happy. This is what it’s all about. God wants to take care of you, but you need to take care of yourself. When you see God’s love working in your life, that’ll help the depression.

If you need help with questions, we’re here. Just remember: talk to God everyday, be open to his intervention, read the Gospels. Ask for advice here if you need more help with your spiritual life.

I think that’s a pretty good start.
 
thesearch said:
I haven’t been on here for a long time. But this is the only place I thought to turn. I’ve been struggling with depression for the last 2 months, maybe longer. At first I thought it would pass, but now its so much worse. I can’t sleep (maybe I sleep about 3 hours a night) but I’m always tired, I cry ALL the time. Its affecting my marriage. My husband doesn’t know what to do. It stems from a few things, I know this. First, I spent thousands of dollars pursuing an education and after hundreds or resumes and a few interviews, I have nothing in my field. I feel like a failure, like I put us in so much debt that we can’t find away out and I don’t have a thing to show for it except a stupid piece of paper, which apparently doesn’t do a thing for me. I work a terrible job just until I find a better one but I can’t seem to. This job is whats driving me crazy. Its in a call center and I listen to people scream and yell at me all day. The days are long and I work until the wee hours of the morning. I never see my husband unless I call in sick. The employers treat the employees like dirt. Anyway, I’m ready to just find a part-time at mcdonalds if I need to. My husband wishes I could quit but we just can’t afford it because of my stupid loans. To add to it, I stopped smoking marijuana a few weeks ago (decided enough was enough, it wasn’t helping the depression) after 5 years of everyday use. So of course, I have withdrawls. I just can’t stand it (but I won’t relapse).
Click to expand...
I have been there too.

Okay–let’s take these things in order. Depression is not a moral failure. It is an imbalance of the chemicals in your brain. Don’t let anyone, even on this board, tell you that all you need to do is seek God and it will all go away. That is a lie from the pit of hell.

First–seek medical attention. You may be entitled (I don’t know what health care is like in Canada) to counseling and medical therapy to make depression go away.

Next–you work in a call center. The noise of that alone is enough to stress a person out. I know, because I had a breakdown from working in a call center (and I was working night shift too, so I had no social life or anything. Get a job elsewhere–and if that means flipping burgers at McDonald’s, go for it.

Third–talk to your husband. Communication is really important. Find out if he blames you for getting an education and not being able to get a job. If he is a good husband, he will not be angry at all, and will do all he can to help. By the way, you never said what he does. Is he working? And what type of a job does he have?

Finally, 👍 GOOD FOR YOU!! 👍 You stopped using pot! I know (from different drugs, but still the same withdrawal) that this is a difficult time. Grit your teeth, bear with it, and it will get better. You just have to let all the toxins get out of your system. Once that is done, you will feel better.

Now, I will say that this is a good time to turn to God. He will help you out of your problems–maybe not in the way that you are thinking–but He will help. Turn the bills and the job search over to Him, and He will help you.

Know that I will be praying for you, and that God is in the center of all this mess, even if you can’t see Him at the moment.

May God bless you richly!
 
thesearch said:
I haven’t been on here for a long time. But this is the only place I thought to turn. I’ve been struggling with depression for the last 2 months, maybe longer. At first I thought it would pass, but now its so much worse. I can’t sleep (maybe I sleep about 3 hours a night) but I’m always tired, I cry ALL the time. Its affecting my marriage. My husband doesn’t know what to do. It stems from a few things, I know this. First, I spent thousands of dollars pursuing an education and after hundreds or resumes and a few interviews, I have nothing in my field. I feel like a failure, like I put us in so much debt that we can’t find away out and I don’t have a thing to show for it except a stupid piece of paper, which apparently doesn’t do a thing for me. I work a terrible job just until I find a better one but I can’t seem to. This job is whats driving me crazy. Its in a call center and I listen to people scream and yell at me all day. The days are long and I work until the wee hours of the morning. I never see my husband unless I call in sick. The employers treat the employees like dirt. Anyway, I’m ready to just find a part-time at mcdonalds if I need to. My husband wishes I could quit but we just can’t afford it because of my stupid loans. To add to it, I stopped smoking marijuana a few weeks ago (decided enough was enough, it wasn’t helping the depression) after 5 years of everyday use. So of course, I have withdrawls. I just can’t stand it (but I won’t relapse).

I’m currently seeking a councillor. But here’s where the forum kicks in. I’ve never been religious or “into God”. Noone has ever taught me to be or shown me the way. But today as I was waiting for the bus, a man was talking to a woman about God and the bible with such conviction. At first I just rolled my eyes and thought of a bunch of ways that I could contradict his message, but later I got thinking, “why on this very day, that I’m bawling my eyes out and being so depressed, did this guy decide to start ranting about God?” I see him almost everyday and he has never said a word before. Maybe I’m supposed to ask God for help? I don’t know.

What should I do? What do you suggest?

TIA
Click to expand...
I’ll pray for you when i pray for myself.I have the depression gene as well.I can’t blame an unhappy childhood.However,i thought the job i was doing was the problem.That notion got knocked on the head when i retired.I’ll be at my doctor’s surgery this week.Initially,it was my doctor who invited me to come and get a
free 'Flu jab because i am now 65 years old.So,they are going to try and do something about the depression,but they want to do a blood test before they give me medication like an anti-depressant.
I thought the depression would go when i left the job.
I think some of us have just got that particular gene.We are just about coping and something on the News tips us over the edge.
Perhaps we should listen to the News less often.
 
You are on the right track. You recognize that depression is causing problems in your life, you are asking for help, and you are beginning to dig out some of the roots of depression. God is blessing you with insight and prompting you to seek help. Depression attacks a person on many levels. You are feeling it in your body, mind, and spirit. Healing will come in those same areas also. May I be so bold to suggest you get a thorough physical from your primary care physician. Talk the him or her about your past drug use, about your eating and sleeping habits and how you are responding to stress. If you are not getting proper sleep, nutrition and excercise this can affect the way your brain is working. The doctor may suggest medications. These may be necessary to “jump start” your seritonin and dopamine neurotransmitters. Counseling can be very helpful in examining unhealthy thought patterns and behaviors that can contribute to depression. You might check to see if there are any Catholic counselors in your area. If not, be sure to let your therapist know about your faith. Most therapists are trained in supporting people with their faith traditions. Your spirit is hungering and thirsting for God. If you haven’t gone to confession recently, make an appointment with a priest or just show up at your parish during regular times for confession. Let God’s mercy lift you from your sins and the guilt of sin. This forum and many Catholic radio programs are helpful in helping you retrain your conscience in the ways God is calling you to be the person He has made you to be. There are many books and tapes that can be helpful also. Most important though is for you to maintain a connection with a faith community (parish). This can be very difficult to do when depressed. Start out slow. Weekly Mass is a must. Then look in the bulletin to see how you can help in small ways–stuffing bulletins, working in the food bank, etc.
Please know that you are in my prayers.
 
First of all: CONGRATULATIONS on quitting smoking weed!!! This will really alter your mental capacity for quite awhile (even after it’s left your system), because you will need to re-align your way of dealing with every day life occurances, and yourself in them. Be patient and kind to yourself!

Secondly, as others have mentioned, seek medical attention for your depression. If you need to take medication to get over the “hump”, it’s really OKAY! I had to take medication for depression for a full year. And I knew when it was time to come off of it and I did. I wouldn’t have been able to make the terrible transitions necessary in my life without those meds.

Thirdly, yes, God has your back and will be there for you in your transitions through life! Try praying each morning upon waking. Take a moment to thank God for everything good in your life - even that stressful job. Thank Him for having a job and for the better job that is just around the corner. Also, stay in touch here. This is such a wonderful group of people who will offer tremendous support. I’m glad your reaching out here.

You are in my prayers today.

Andi V.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top