L
LSK
Guest
May I get some feedback on coping with depression during the holidays, please? thank you.
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Trishie
Guest
Dear Leslie
I see that you are raising your nephews or nieces, and that you like theatre, music and dog training.
Does your music help you? And as you understand dogs enough to train them, do you enjoy their company. You have a dog that you find companionable?
In raising the children I imagine that you get weary…and that maybe you don’t have much time for yourself. You are widowed, and as you’re raising your sibling’s children, and all else you mention, there is indication that you had some difficult sad and disappointing times in your life…so some depression isn’t very surprising.
I don’t know…is facing these things helpful in dealing with your depression, facing that so much is difficult and has been difficult, like losing your husband and raising the children alone…is there then some little way you can have a little you time, your nurture time?
From all these things, you show that you are a person of great courage and generosity, and I honour and bless you for that…You are obviously a very special person, and I ask God to help you to flourish in yourself and in your life as you do all you can manage to help the children towards healthy and happy lives.
My husband sufers long-term from depression so I know there are no easy answers…but I do want you to know I think you’re wonderful, in several ways…and I will keep you and the children in my prayers.
God bless you, Trishie.
A warm hug
I see that you are raising your nephews or nieces, and that you like theatre, music and dog training.
Does your music help you? And as you understand dogs enough to train them, do you enjoy their company. You have a dog that you find companionable?
In raising the children I imagine that you get weary…and that maybe you don’t have much time for yourself. You are widowed, and as you’re raising your sibling’s children, and all else you mention, there is indication that you had some difficult sad and disappointing times in your life…so some depression isn’t very surprising.
I don’t know…is facing these things helpful in dealing with your depression, facing that so much is difficult and has been difficult, like losing your husband and raising the children alone…is there then some little way you can have a little you time, your nurture time?
From all these things, you show that you are a person of great courage and generosity, and I honour and bless you for that…You are obviously a very special person, and I ask God to help you to flourish in yourself and in your life as you do all you can manage to help the children towards healthy and happy lives.
My husband sufers long-term from depression so I know there are no easy answers…but I do want you to know I think you’re wonderful, in several ways…and I will keep you and the children in my prayers.
God bless you, Trishie.
A warm hug
K
kage_ar
Guest
Good to see you!!!
The usual advice, see your doctor, volunteer for something, you most likely already do those things.
Prayer before the Blessed Sacrament (if there is an Adoration Chapel in your area, they are likely looking for coverage over Christmas).
The usual advice, see your doctor, volunteer for something, you most likely already do those things.
Prayer before the Blessed Sacrament (if there is an Adoration Chapel in your area, they are likely looking for coverage over Christmas).
G
Gwyn
Guest
HI Leslie
:hug1: :hug1: :hug1:
And I second the advise go see your doctor.
God Bless
:hug1: :hug1: :hug1:
And I second the advise go see your doctor.
God Bless
O
OutinChgoburbs
Guest
Dearheart! Been too long!:hug3:
Christmas is Christmas. Yes, it is a holiday. It does not have to be a circus and spectacle. Make it fun for YOU. Fun does not have piles of over-activity. Fun does not mean you drive yourself nuts becuase others “expect” it.
I decided this year, I would not expect so much out of myself. I would not expect ANYTHING out of other people. I had to talk myself into it and stuffed a lot of people in the Jesus box (You still have a Jesus box, don’t you).
Instead of working myself into a frenzy on baking, I went to the bakery. The kids made"Cheater" cookies (such as dipping Oreos in melted butterscotch chips). Jesus got a bakery cake this year.
I found ONE present that fit everybody that is extended family? Ready for this? Instead of going on a buying orgy, I sent flowers to the people for whom I really care. I found local florists that have ordering online instead of FTD or 1800FLOWERS. Saved a ton of money. Live people appreciate flowers much more than deceased people. It was a double gift, because I sent them a little early, and then the extended family didn’t have to decorate as much for Christmas.
I refuse to participate in fights, including two-ends-against-the-middle and he/she’s-so-bad. All it does is depress me.
I found people who really needed help and St. Nick’d them by leaving anonymous presents at their door, in a safe place, where nobody could open them and damage or poison the stuff. In helping them, I realized I had it pretty good. I did some of it in the name of people I’ve lost this year. I’m hoping it stays at the three who have passed for this year’s total.
I have been counting my blessings. When the girls carry on like wounded hyenas, I thank God that they are healthy, not in foster care with people who may or may not love them, but with us, people who love them for sure. When DH gets grouchy, I thank God he is not only alive after February’s illness, but working and walking.
I remember this evening and tomorrow and hte next 12 days are about Jesus and His coming into the world. It occured to me that He’s not interested in how perfect I am. He is perfect. I just have to give it my best shot…
And yes, call the doctor and see if an adjustment is needed.
Christmas is Christmas. Yes, it is a holiday. It does not have to be a circus and spectacle. Make it fun for YOU. Fun does not have piles of over-activity. Fun does not mean you drive yourself nuts becuase others “expect” it.
I decided this year, I would not expect so much out of myself. I would not expect ANYTHING out of other people. I had to talk myself into it and stuffed a lot of people in the Jesus box (You still have a Jesus box, don’t you).
Instead of working myself into a frenzy on baking, I went to the bakery. The kids made"Cheater" cookies (such as dipping Oreos in melted butterscotch chips). Jesus got a bakery cake this year.
I found ONE present that fit everybody that is extended family? Ready for this? Instead of going on a buying orgy, I sent flowers to the people for whom I really care. I found local florists that have ordering online instead of FTD or 1800FLOWERS. Saved a ton of money. Live people appreciate flowers much more than deceased people. It was a double gift, because I sent them a little early, and then the extended family didn’t have to decorate as much for Christmas.
I refuse to participate in fights, including two-ends-against-the-middle and he/she’s-so-bad. All it does is depress me.
I found people who really needed help and St. Nick’d them by leaving anonymous presents at their door, in a safe place, where nobody could open them and damage or poison the stuff. In helping them, I realized I had it pretty good. I did some of it in the name of people I’ve lost this year. I’m hoping it stays at the three who have passed for this year’s total.
I have been counting my blessings. When the girls carry on like wounded hyenas, I thank God that they are healthy, not in foster care with people who may or may not love them, but with us, people who love them for sure. When DH gets grouchy, I thank God he is not only alive after February’s illness, but working and walking.
I remember this evening and tomorrow and hte next 12 days are about Jesus and His coming into the world. It occured to me that He’s not interested in how perfect I am. He is perfect. I just have to give it my best shot…
And yes, call the doctor and see if an adjustment is needed.
D
dhgray
Guest
Focus on the Reason for the Season
J
jeje831
Guest
If you’re depressed. Please You need to see a Doctor.
I just want to share my experiences with you. I tend to feel pretty blue at Christmas time. I wouldn’t call it drepression but it doesn’t feel good. I love the real reason for the celebration but just get worn down and see what goes on around me (the consumerism and nastiness that rears it’s ugly head) and end up feeling sad. The birth of our saviour is so pure, simple and bright and the way our society celebrates overshadows this real earthly event. The miracle of God as Man. It’s really important to me. I’m sure it doesn’t make alot of sense but that’s the way I feel. What I do when I feel blue at this time of year is I excuse myself to get some air and go out to the barn -crank up some beautiful Christmas music, groom my horses and I’ll say prayers of thanks for everything the good and bad. Before too long I’m usually singing with the carols. The horses look at me strange but I feel better. This works for me when I get the blues but if you are depressed contact a doctor and talk to your priest. You may already know asking for help is that big first step. I’ll be thinking of you this evening when I’m in the barn. Merry Christmas
I just want to share my experiences with you. I tend to feel pretty blue at Christmas time. I wouldn’t call it drepression but it doesn’t feel good. I love the real reason for the celebration but just get worn down and see what goes on around me (the consumerism and nastiness that rears it’s ugly head) and end up feeling sad. The birth of our saviour is so pure, simple and bright and the way our society celebrates overshadows this real earthly event. The miracle of God as Man. It’s really important to me. I’m sure it doesn’t make alot of sense but that’s the way I feel. What I do when I feel blue at this time of year is I excuse myself to get some air and go out to the barn -crank up some beautiful Christmas music, groom my horses and I’ll say prayers of thanks for everything the good and bad. Before too long I’m usually singing with the carols. The horses look at me strange but I feel better. This works for me when I get the blues but if you are depressed contact a doctor and talk to your priest. You may already know asking for help is that big first step. I’ll be thinking of you this evening when I’m in the barn. Merry Christmas
G
Gwyn
Guest
Sorry not trying to hijack the thread, but…
Thanks All for posting your experiences. This year was feeling rather down and did not want to bother with Christmas and I think DH was/is feeling the same. Then 2 weeks ago I decided I had to snap out of it for DS’s sake and get in the spirit of Christmas, baking, decorating…
Well wishing all a Safe, Joyous and Blessed Christmas.
Thanks All for posting your experiences. This year was feeling rather down and did not want to bother with Christmas and I think DH was/is feeling the same. Then 2 weeks ago I decided I had to snap out of it for DS’s sake and get in the spirit of Christmas, baking, decorating…
Well wishing all a Safe, Joyous and Blessed Christmas.
I
iluvmybabies
Guest
I have been fighting it big time… Been having some major issues and the being gone from family for going on 3 years it’s been really difficult… BUT I have been praying a loooooottttt!! I come here and find comfort from reading great love stories, and crazy moments, and wonderful times, it warms my heart to read such great people around…
I try to look at the best things and keep a smile on my face.I was breaking down recently, so many problems, and they keep coming you know but I think that as long as you hold on to your faith, a little light shines upon you in you most difficult times and that’s GOD holding you tightly…
My dfriend hates and I do mean HATES with a capital H Christmas season, her parents passed away recently and she’s left with a sister that doesn’t really care, and hardly speaks with her, and since she’s a single mom, has her little boy suffering from missing family and father… her ex husband was an abusive man…he used to beat her and abuse her, that ended quickly… she was never married through the church, but it hurts her during Christmas because this was the times he hurt her the most…
I am trying to help her right now to celebrate Christmas with us, at least keeps her son entertained with my kids but she’s being stubborn… She asked me how I do it, I was like only GOD does it… I am just here trying to listen to HIM and do as HE wishes… SHe’s trying to understand but because she’s so depressed she really won’t let herself…
I am trying to help her as much as possible and I do hope you can find peace and joy during such difficult times…I try to always look towards the bright side and am learning not to worry! It’s hard but I am trying very hard…
Keep praying and let GOD guide you, I will keep you in my prayers! GOD BLESS!!!
A
apromisemade
Guest
Ah yes… Christmas can be a hard time because everyone is expecting us to be happy. Know that you just might feel angry, sad, and/or upset during Christmas just like you did any other time of year. And while it would be nice if you were able to find some peace in the true spirit of the season, but if you do end up feeling bad, there’s nothing inherently wrong about that.
I think the others hit the nail on the head when they said do something that makes you happy. Heck, if making you happy and getting you into the spirit of the season means going to Chucky Cheeses and playing video games with the kiddies, by all means, do it.
I think the others hit the nail on the head when they said do something that makes you happy. Heck, if making you happy and getting you into the spirit of the season means going to Chucky Cheeses and playing video games with the kiddies, by all means, do it.
L
LSK
Guest
thank you all so much…I doubled up on prayer…the Jesus Box got quite a workout, let me tell you, and I think getting some sleep helped. Having the new job and long commute makes life hectic. However, I think remembering that what I feel is not reality has helped the most. Thank you all for your prayers!
S
Salonika
Guest
Think the expectations to enjoy Christmas (and other holidays like New Year) puts so much pressure on many people that its not surprising that many feel guilty and/or down then. For those who suffer from depression it must be almost intolerable - if it is that’s when medical assistance is needed.
Think you got some good suggestionsfrom the other posters.
I think having realistic expectations helps - there will be good things about Christmas and not so good. If we haven’t had good relations with some people during the year we need to remember that Christmas is very unlikely to change this, even if all want it to.
Often too we need to realise that we are exhausted before Christmas, and we need more not less sleep. We get exhausted and so do other people and tempers get frayed in the home, at work, at school, in the supermarkets and on the road.
Also some people seem to forget that holidays are also about having a break from our usual routine not adding extra things to it. “You’re on holiday you can …” they say. Maybe we can but do we want to and do we have time to when we get three or four of these suggestions to fill our time.
Think you got some good suggestionsfrom the other posters.
I think having realistic expectations helps - there will be good things about Christmas and not so good. If we haven’t had good relations with some people during the year we need to remember that Christmas is very unlikely to change this, even if all want it to.
Often too we need to realise that we are exhausted before Christmas, and we need more not less sleep. We get exhausted and so do other people and tempers get frayed in the home, at work, at school, in the supermarkets and on the road.
Also some people seem to forget that holidays are also about having a break from our usual routine not adding extra things to it. “You’re on holiday you can …” they say. Maybe we can but do we want to and do we have time to when we get three or four of these suggestions to fill our time.
L
LSK
Guest
I think I was also a little nervous about my work evaluation coming up…it was tough enough doing MY clerks’ evaluations let alone having to worry about my boss doing MY evaluation. It’s been a very difficult year with this job. I don’t get to do half the stuff I used to do - just AA, RCIA, Church, kids and sleep. Not much else going on. BUT the evaluation went really well and I got to take a little time off and I actually watched some football and saw some friends and had some fun. Back at the grind tonight but feeling much much better. Thank you, everyone, for your prayers!
S
Salonika
Guest
Yes, evaluation time can be difficult all round. Glad yours went well and you are feeling better and have some energy to do things that make you feel better.
In regards to evaluations I find it so easy to know all the things I either didn’t do or didn’t do well and forget what I have achieved. When that happens it so easy to only see the negatives or the challenges that weren’t completely met.
I am still trying to learn to put things aside that I can’t do anything about at the time. Like work problems while on holiday. Took me ages not to feel that I was being irresponsible by not thinking about them. But why spoil a holiday by worrying over something I could do nothing about. “For everything there is a season”.
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