Depression

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Hoosier1991

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I’m having a hard time with anxiety and depression. No one in my family and none of my friends know this.

Everyone sees me as a successful, intelligent, independent and popular young woman - I know because people tell me this all the time. For the most part, this is true. I AM happy a lot of the time…I’m top of my class, I am absolutely in LOVE with my major (History - I want to be a history teacher) and my part time job (tour guide on campus). I’m part of an athletic team which I really enjoy, and I have a great circle of friends and family. Of course my life isn’t perfect…but there are no huge, overwhelming problems for me to deal with.

But…I would say about 50% of the time (at least over the past month) I am feeling absolutely hopeless and uncertain about my life. Despite the fact I have so much going for me ) I am more and more worried about my depression. I have had depression since I was very young. But it virtually went away towards the end of high school and into college. Now it creeping back, worse than ever, and I have no idea why 😦

I tell myself not to think about it, and I immerse myself in my various school, work, athletic, and social activities. In doing so I manage to keep my bad feelings at bay for a short time…but they always come back at night or on days when I have nothing to do.

I pray about it all the time. I go to adoration sometimes. The only time I ever cry is when I’m praying. I ask God to take this problem away from me, but I feel like this is just a cross he intends me to bear, so I ask him for strength to bear it. My faith is the only thing keeping me going now.

I really don’t feel I can tell any of my family or friends. My family doesn’t believe in depression at all. My friends would be nice and supportive, but they wouldn’t really understand. Thats something else about me…whenever I share my problems with someone I know, I feel worse. I feel guilty and I guess weak that I can’t handle things on my own, and in the end telling people just makes my depression worse. If that makes any sense…?

Its different telling people I don’t know at all. I have talked to counselors and obviously I’m posting here. I’ve never had time to any serious therapy or anything because it cuts into my life too much…and honestly I like my life, and don’t feel like sacrificing the good things in it to deal with depression :confused:

However, I need to do something because for the first time in my entire life I’ve been thinking of suicide. I’d never actually do it. Ever. For one thing, I’m too scared…I could never go thru with it. Another thing, I care way too much about the people who love me to hurt them like that. Its just the fact that it even cross my mind that scares me. You know?

Anyway I know there’s not much anyone can do, but prayers would be appreciated!
 
Why don’t you look up where the Newman Center is on or near your Campus. It is a meeting place for Catholic students…Make an appointment to see one of the priests affiliated with the center. I know you didn’t state what your religion was in coming to this site, and. it is possible that you are not Catholic, but it really doesn’t matter.
When you meet with the priest, outline what you have said on this site. The priest should be able to help you, if not himself, he can refer you to someone who can. You don’t have to worry about your reticence with strangers.
Priests are used to this and are trained to overcome this, I do believe that he will be able to help you to overcome your angst and depression. All without any trace of “shoving religion down your throat”! Priests don’t work that way.
 
Hoosier1991 said:
I’m having a hard time with anxiety and depression. No one in my family and none of my friends know this.

Everyone sees me as a successful, intelligent, independent and popular young woman - I know because people tell me this all the time. For the most part, this is true. I AM happy a lot of the time…I’m top of my class, I am absolutely in LOVE with my major (History - I want to be a history teacher) and my part time job (tour guide on campus). I’m part of an athletic team which I really enjoy, and I have a great circle of friends and family. Of course my life isn’t perfect…but there are no huge, overwhelming problems for me to deal with.

But…I would say about 50% of the time (at least over the past month) I am feeling absolutely hopeless and uncertain about my life. Despite the fact I have so much going for me ) I am more and more worried about my depression. I have had depression since I was very young. But it virtually went away towards the end of high school and into college. Now it creeping back, worse than ever, and I have no idea why 😦

I tell myself not to think about it, and I immerse myself in my various school, work, athletic, and social activities. In doing so I manage to keep my bad feelings at bay for a short time…but they always come back at night or on days when I have nothing to do.

I pray about it all the time. I go to adoration sometimes. The only time I ever cry is when I’m praying. I ask God to take this problem away from me, but I feel like this is just a cross he intends me to bear, so I ask him for strength to bear it. My faith is the only thing keeping me going now.

I really don’t feel I can tell any of my family or friends. My family doesn’t believe in depression at all. My friends would be nice and supportive, but they wouldn’t really understand. Thats something else about me…whenever I share my problems with someone I know, I feel worse. I feel guilty and I guess weak that I can’t handle things on my own, and in the end telling people just makes my depression worse. If that makes any sense…?

Its different telling people I don’t know at all. I have talked to counselors and obviously I’m posting here. I’ve never had time to any serious therapy or anything because it cuts into my life too much…and honestly I like my life, and don’t feel like sacrificing the good things in it to deal with depression :confused:

However, I need to do something because for the first time in my entire life I’ve been thinking of suicide. I’d never actually do it. Ever. For one thing, I’m too scared…I could never go thru with it. Another thing, I care way too much about the people who love me to hurt them like that. Its just the fact that it even cross my mind that scares me. You know?

Anyway I know there’s not much anyone can do, but prayers would be appreciated!
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I am sorry that you are having Depression in your life. I am 69 y/o and worked as a Registered Nurse on adult and adolescent units in hospitals for 20 years. I now also have personal experience with the illness Major Depression. There have been times in my life when making changes in my situation relieved a mild Depression and also, becoming aware of my self talk and increasing the positiveness of it has helped too. None of that helps now because I have been depressed enough that I wasn’t able to control my self talk no matter how hard I tried or what technique I used. For the past several years medication has been needed and greatly appreciated by me. I say these things not to complain but in case anything might be helpful to you.

The fact that Major Depression is caused by having too low a level of one or more neuro chemicals in the brain is humbling but also reassuring when we see ourselves crying at the drop of a hat for no apparent reason. Another positive thing about an effective antidepressant is that if there are changes that you need to make in your life, the improved mood, sleep, and increased energy can make it easier to make those changes.

Just as an example: I am 100% disabled and in constant pain and the only thing that has helped has been dooing exercises and stretches in a hot water therapy pool. Knowing that that would help me was not enough motivation to allow me to push through that wall of exhaustion I always had to deal with. I asked God for help and some other health issue began but the medication for it was a Dopamine agonist and it reduced my Depression enough so that I can push myself to the pool 4 times a week and am finally seeing some progress. I am on medication to increase my serotonin and my epinephrine level and those help a lot but evidently the dopamine level in my brain was also low. God is so wonderful and has helped me so much with everything. I encourage you to ask Him for help with specific things as well as the entire issues. That way you can see Him answer the smaller requests and that gives encouragement that He will answer the larger requests when the time is right.

I know that this is a long post but I have to say that as a Catholic I heard and you will to that the most important thing is inner healing even if the physical body remains a problem. I had to ignore all that because while inner healing is taking place God wants to heal everything about us. When you read the activities of Jesus in the Gospels; people asked Him all the time for physical healing. Never did He say to someone, “Continue to be a cripple or continue to be Depressed but be at peace.” No! He never said anything like that. God bless you and I pray for your speedy recovery!
 
I said a prayer for you. I know how you feel. I get depressed and feel like I’m not able to go on. I get real whiny and feel very sorry for myself. Then I see what other people have to endure, and I feel like I’m being very ungrateful for all I have. I work in a hospital, and this is part of my depression. I am surrounded by death and sickness, so it skews my perception of life. I don’t know how to answer the depression question. It’s somewhat of a mystery. Sometimes it just comes out of the blue. But if you reflect and think hard, you might be able to identify the source of your unhappiness. If you can do that, it’s a step toward wellness. Some think depression is a hormonal imbalance, nothing more. I think it’s (somewhat) probably a hormonal imbalance, but the cause of the imbalance is rooted in your emotions. Try to do some honest soul-searching and see if you can find the cause of your distress. I’ll bet there’s some issue buried in there. Good luck.
 
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
Sometimes on the outside people seem to have very sucessful lives with a socialble life also,but really what matters most in life is our relationship with the Lord,

It seems you have an outgoing life with alot happening in your life ,but God may desire more for you in your relationship with him perhaps,and maybe you could seek to pursue a deeper love and faith in God and his church

You wouldnt be the only one suffering from depression or a bit of it ,many on the forum go through it including myself,

anyhow sister ,my two cents worth is that maybe God is calling you to more greatness in your life,God blesses those who are fruitful in life,and i see that you are fruitful,so dont lose hope or courage over these trials of sadness,but see it as further oppurtunity to grow even more as a person and a Christian,remember that none of our lives can be completely without troubles so may Christ give you strength ,hope and courage with this cross of yours and all the best,

Paul
 
Hoosier1991 said:
I’m having a hard time with anxiety and depression. No one in my family and none of my friends know this.

Everyone sees me as a successful, intelligent, independent and popular young woman - I know because people tell me this all the time. For the most part, this is true. I AM happy a lot of the time…I’m top of my class, I am absolutely in LOVE with my major (History - I want to be a history teacher) and my part time job (tour guide on campus). I’m part of an athletic team which I really enjoy, and I have a great circle of friends and family. Of course my life isn’t perfect…but there are no huge, overwhelming problems for me to deal with.

But…I would say about 50% of the time (at least over the past month) I am feeling absolutely hopeless and uncertain about my life.
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Wow, you must feel really isolated. You also have a lot going out, not sure what you have coming in, since so many of the people close to you are being kept outside your reality, so no way to get support.

Tell someone. That’s paramount. Just tell someone. One of the people you tell should be a doctor. Can be anything from a B-vitamin deficiency to thyroid issue to needing a bit of therapy. But tell a doctor. Your job isn’t to live up to anyone’s expectations. That makes you not a real person but something other people invented. Don’t cooperate with that, these folks won’t know better unless you trust and speak to some of them. Or one of them.

Tell someone. Untreated, depression is very dangerous. Get help now. Come back and let us know how you are doing.
 
Hope this prayer helps I’ve suffered from anxiety / depression myself its not easy

In time of personal sorrow

Blessed, O Lord, be your name forever; you have permitted
this sorrow to come upon me.
I cannot escape it, but out of necessity I fly to you
to help me and turn it to my good.
Lord, I’m now in affliction.
My soul is ill at ease,for I’m much troubled
with this present suffering.
Let it please you,Lord to deliver me; for, poor
wretch that I am, what can I do without you?
Your mighty hand can do all things.
Give me patience,Lord, strength & peace.
Help me my God, and I will not fear, no matter
how grievously I may be afflicted.
Lord your will be done
Welcome be the will of God.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in you.
 
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
History–we have something else in common. I got my Masters in History at Purdue.

I have had problems with depression too and am on medication. It has literally saved my life. I would advise you to see a doctor and see if you can get a referral to a psychiatrist. Reconsider counseling. It has helped me a lot.
 
Blessed, O Lord, be your name forever; you have permitted
this sorrow to come upon me.
I cannot escape it, but out of necessity I fly to you
to help me and turn it to my good.
Lord, I’m now in affliction.
My soul is ill at ease,for I’m much troubled
with this present suffering.
Let it please you,Lord to deliver me; for, poor
wretch that I am, what can I do without you?
Your mighty hand can do all things.
Give me patience,Lord, strength & peace.
Help me my God, and I will not fear, no matter
how grievously I may be afflicted.
Lord your will be done
Welcome be the will of God.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in you.
Amen!
 
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
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