Desecration of the Holy Eucharist

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Flash262

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I have a family problem that I am struggling with. My son-in-law was born in to Catholic family. During his adulthood (long before his marriage to my daughter) he publicly renounced his association with the Church and does not believe in the Sacraments. My daughter has been very diligent and is raising their child as a Catholic. They went through a Con-validation of their marriage in order for my daughter to be eligible to receive the Sacraments. Their child has recently received First Holy Communion. The son-in-law has taken to receiving the Eucharist on a regular basis fully recognizing that is is contrary to all Catholic teachings and beliefs. I’ve approached him and reminded him that this is a sacrilegious behavior in the eyes of the Church. He does not care. I requested that he speak with our pastor. Our pastor confirmed that this behavior must stop but he pays no heed. I feel helpless watching this desecration of the Eucharist continue but have no idea where to go from here.
 
This is not as much desecration as it is in appropriate reception.

This situation begs the question as to why he is taking communion. Family unity? Coming back to the Church? An “in-your-face” gesture?

Perhaps approaching the subject from this angle could give you some indication as to how to proceed.
 
He put his child in a Bible study group at a United Church of Christ location. She refused to attend after 2 lessons (reasons unknown). This happened right after her first Communion. His receiving the Eucharist intensified immediately afterward.

He is not returning to the Church and fully denounces the Divinity of Christ in the Eucharist.

I am not sure what you mean by “appropriate reception”. There is no “appropriate reception” of the Eucharist for non-Catholics. He claims that since he does not believe in the true Body and Blood of Christ in the Eucharist, his behavior should be readily accepted.
 
Flash262 said:
He put his child in a Bible study group at a United Church of Christ location. She refused to attend after 2 lessons (reasons unknown). This happened right after her first Communion. His receiving the Eucharist intensified immediately afterward.

He is not returning to the Church and fully denounces the Divinity of Christ in the Eucharist.

I am not sure what you mean by “appropriate reception”. There is no “appropriate reception” of the Eucharist for non-Catholics. He claims that since he does not believe in the true Body and Blood of Christ in the Eucharist, his behavior should be readily accepted.
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Why has the pastor not denied him? There may be more to this story that you are not aware of?
 
Flash262 said:
He put his child in a Bible study group at a United Church of Christ location. She refused to attend after 2 lessons (reasons unknown). This happened right after her first Communion. His receiving the Eucharist intensified immediately afterward.

He is not returning to the Church and fully denounces the Divinity of Christ in the Eucharist.

I am not sure what you mean by “appropriate reception”. There is no “appropriate reception” of the Eucharist for non-Catholics. He claims that since he does not believe in the true Body and Blood of Christ in the Eucharist, his behavior should be readily accepted.
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My bad. I meant “inappropriate”.
 
you have done all you can in making the pastor aware of the situation, it is his job not yours to take it further. you can’t be your SIL’s confessor. your best contribution is being a support to your daughter and grandchild in their Catholic life. getting into battles with the husband is not going to help you and may permanently separate you from them. There is no way anyone, even a parent, can stop someone who is bent on deliberate sin. It is not desecration of the Eucharist as long as the sacred species are consumed, but it is a sacrilege. He knows it. He does it anyway. Let the HOly Spirit take it from here.
 
joandarc2008 said:
Why has the pastor not denied him? There may be more to this story that you are not aware of?
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That was my question, too. If the pastor is aware of the situation and agrees that “this behavior must stop,” I don’t understand why the pastor hasn’t, you know, stopped that behavior. On facts presented, this is one of the most obviously legitimate situations for using canon 915 that one could readily imagine.
 
SimonDodd said:
That was my question, too. If the pastor is aware of the situation and agrees that “this behavior must stop,” I don’t understand why the pastor hasn’t, you know, stopped that behavior. On facts presented, this is one of the most obviously legitimate situations for using canon 915 that one could readily imagine.
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I am half thinking that it may be a case of things being said to a family member that is perceived as overbearing and that has been shared with the priest - we only have one side of the story - at this point the OP has talked to the person, talked to the priest, and spoken to the Church. There is nothing more to be done but pray, back off and be at peace or the only thing that the OP will succeed in doing is causing further schism.
 
First off, I would like to thank everyone for their thoughtful responses. I’m sure that my son-in-law perceives that my comments have been overbearing and close-minded but I see no altruistic motive that can be a defense to this continuing sacrilegious behavior. It needs to be noted that this is no conflict between young and old. I’m 59, my son-in-law is 52, my daughter is 41 and my granddaughter is 8.

Our parish is large. To give you an idea just how large it is, we have over 4000 registered families with 2300 children attending RE classes weekly. When I first found out about the situation, I insisted that they (as a couple) speak with the pastor. He did, indeed, council them about this behavior and instructed my son-in-law to stop. This was close to a year ago. I incorrectly assumed that he would abide by the pastor’s advice. Our Sunday masses have at least 15 Eucharistic Ministers distributing the Blessed Sacrament. In the pastors defense, there are 800-1000 people at each Mass. My son-in-law has told me that he has received on at least 2 more occasions over the course of this year. The problem came to a head last Sunday when he received 10 feet in front me. After Mass, he extended his arm for a handshake and I refused.

I was seriously tempted to make an appointment with the pastor and bring a picture of my son-in-law. I still think I may have an obligation to do just that. Instead, I called the parish this week and spoke anonymously with the parochial vicar fully explaining the situation. He advised me that I have done all that I can and that I should pray and pray some more.

Once again, thank you for your responses.
 
I will pray for this situation too. Perhaps you should stay out of personally being involved with your SIL’s behavior, and just maintain a relationship with him, and change your approach to talk to your daughter (as well as meeting with the pastor / parochial vicar).

Maybe your daughter has an insight into why this is happening? Does she understand it is wrong? Is he doing it for her?
 
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