R
RedSoxWife
Guest
Nope! It’s an awesome idea. Since we added one it’s a constant reminder when I’m on my way to the kitchen to pause and pray. Here’s ours:Isn’t a home altar a bit extreme?
- Status
M
maryjk
Guest
It is beautiful.
I am guessing that some are reading “home altar” and thinking “altar at home.” You know big, marble, elevated…
A home altar is like a prayer corner. I don’t know that there needs to be much planning when building a house to include a home altar.
B
Baelor
Guest
That is completely true. It does, however, permit more open communication and gives that sense that two people are sharing a space.
If you would like to posit that two people can communicate more easily through a wall than open space, be my guest.
How so?
E
EasterJoy
Guest
I come from a family with six boys and two girls. Some of my relatives had even bigger families. When it comes to a Catholic house, I think of a house with lots of kids. My ideal lots-of-kids home would include:
Bedrooms large enough that you have to share with one or two siblings. Three to a room is OK, but don’t go beyond four to a room. Do not skimp on storage; the camping gear and the hand-me-downs that aren’t needed yet have to go somewhere. People with money can buy as they go; frugal people who are lucky enough to have a piece of the earth want someplace to store the canning jars, gardening supplies, and so on.
Room to play: a play area that will take some punishment, where the noise won’t drive Mom nuts in bad weather. Consider 1/2 inch paint-grade plywood instead of drywall at least half way up the wall of this kind of room. A mudroom entry from the backyard and garage, for getting out of wet sloppy clothes and a place to hang coats to drip dry. A low-sided bathtub with a showerhead on a rope, for hosing the legs off. A big coat closet and room for sports gear. A place for a basketball hoop, for tricycles and bikes, and as much level grass for sports as you can manage. Kids are easier to discipline when they get plenty of time to run around. A fence and a tolerance for flowerbeds that have truck roads winding through them, not to mention the dog. If the play area for the smaller children can be kept under surveillance from the same area in which the parent is watching over homework, so much the better.
Kitchen with one double sink and one other sizable sink, laid out so that kids emptying the dishwasher or baking don’t get in the way of making dinner. (See if your library has “Kitchens for Cooks”) If the family is really big or you entertain the whole extended clan, think about two dishwashers, too. The most important communal space is a communal dining space. Everything else could be for smaller conversational groups, because that many people don’t sit and talk to each other one at a time very often! Besides, if you have a room that has a carpet, smaller kids sit on the floor.
Study area close to where study-time parent hangs out. Do not forget to have enough electrical outlets. At our house now, we have our kids’ computers, the TV, and the kitchen in the same room. I don’t know that this would work if we had more than two kids, but it would definitely be a good idea to be able to monitor all screen time until kids reach a certain age…and no screen time in bedrooms. Complete privacy and screen time need to be mutually exclusive. The dinner table can function as study table between meals.
If you have a piano, don’t put it in the same room with the TV. This can be in an area that is otherwise a quiet area, though.
Private parents room but not many steps to the baby’s room.
If you restrict the number of bathrooms, consider the Jack-n-Jill concept, where the person using the toilet and/or bathtub (shower) can lock themselves away from the person(s) using the sink and mirror. Otherwise, if you get even one primper, he/she will tie up the bathroom for too long. Make sure the locks in the Jack and Jill bathrooms cannot be used to trap a person in the bathroom, even if you have to have a door with two locks (one for each direction). (Did I mention I had six brothers?
) Unless you enjoy being late for Mass and listening to fights and excuses on the way to church on Sunday mornings, give every person over 12 access to a mirror. My sister swears by having one to look at right before you go into the garage to get into the car, too.
My parents had a pull-out stool under one of the bathroom sinks, so a little kid could wash their hands while standing on it. Great idea. I highly suggest faucets that can be turned on and off with an elbow, instead of the dual twist-ons faucets that look better.
Double the amount of immediate hot water capacity you think you need.
My mother had space in her laundry room for each person to have a folded-clothes cubby, plus a place for hanging clean clothes. She had another area for mending and always wished it was closer to her laundry. Each kid is responsible for putting his or her own clothes away.
Ample freezer space and somewhere to store home-canned food. Large families eat tremendous amounts of food.
Make it easy to clean and easy to touch up: spend the money for paint that you can scrub. Try to eliminate sunken rooms (stairs cause falls) and anything that can’t take abuse or would cause injury. Think in terms of ease of use, so kids can learn to help younger, and think in terms of being able to put gates in so the crawling one won’t hurt himself while you’re stuck in the bathroom doing toilet training. Think about putting the windows close to the floor, so the toddlers can see out without climbing. Think of built-in storage or how you will attach anything to the wall that could fall over. IOW, think of climbing toddlers, wrestling middle-schoolers, teens who don’t know their own strength, groups of children who will use wheeled vehicles in your house when you told them not to, and build accordingly. It is money well-spent.
Bedrooms large enough that you have to share with one or two siblings. Three to a room is OK, but don’t go beyond four to a room. Do not skimp on storage; the camping gear and the hand-me-downs that aren’t needed yet have to go somewhere. People with money can buy as they go; frugal people who are lucky enough to have a piece of the earth want someplace to store the canning jars, gardening supplies, and so on.
Room to play: a play area that will take some punishment, where the noise won’t drive Mom nuts in bad weather. Consider 1/2 inch paint-grade plywood instead of drywall at least half way up the wall of this kind of room. A mudroom entry from the backyard and garage, for getting out of wet sloppy clothes and a place to hang coats to drip dry. A low-sided bathtub with a showerhead on a rope, for hosing the legs off. A big coat closet and room for sports gear. A place for a basketball hoop, for tricycles and bikes, and as much level grass for sports as you can manage. Kids are easier to discipline when they get plenty of time to run around. A fence and a tolerance for flowerbeds that have truck roads winding through them, not to mention the dog. If the play area for the smaller children can be kept under surveillance from the same area in which the parent is watching over homework, so much the better.
Kitchen with one double sink and one other sizable sink, laid out so that kids emptying the dishwasher or baking don’t get in the way of making dinner. (See if your library has “Kitchens for Cooks”) If the family is really big or you entertain the whole extended clan, think about two dishwashers, too. The most important communal space is a communal dining space. Everything else could be for smaller conversational groups, because that many people don’t sit and talk to each other one at a time very often! Besides, if you have a room that has a carpet, smaller kids sit on the floor.
Study area close to where study-time parent hangs out. Do not forget to have enough electrical outlets. At our house now, we have our kids’ computers, the TV, and the kitchen in the same room. I don’t know that this would work if we had more than two kids, but it would definitely be a good idea to be able to monitor all screen time until kids reach a certain age…and no screen time in bedrooms. Complete privacy and screen time need to be mutually exclusive. The dinner table can function as study table between meals.
If you have a piano, don’t put it in the same room with the TV. This can be in an area that is otherwise a quiet area, though.
Private parents room but not many steps to the baby’s room.
If you restrict the number of bathrooms, consider the Jack-n-Jill concept, where the person using the toilet and/or bathtub (shower) can lock themselves away from the person(s) using the sink and mirror. Otherwise, if you get even one primper, he/she will tie up the bathroom for too long. Make sure the locks in the Jack and Jill bathrooms cannot be used to trap a person in the bathroom, even if you have to have a door with two locks (one for each direction). (Did I mention I had six brothers?
) Unless you enjoy being late for Mass and listening to fights and excuses on the way to church on Sunday mornings, give every person over 12 access to a mirror. My sister swears by having one to look at right before you go into the garage to get into the car, too.My parents had a pull-out stool under one of the bathroom sinks, so a little kid could wash their hands while standing on it. Great idea. I highly suggest faucets that can be turned on and off with an elbow, instead of the dual twist-ons faucets that look better.
Double the amount of immediate hot water capacity you think you need.
My mother had space in her laundry room for each person to have a folded-clothes cubby, plus a place for hanging clean clothes. She had another area for mending and always wished it was closer to her laundry. Each kid is responsible for putting his or her own clothes away.
Ample freezer space and somewhere to store home-canned food. Large families eat tremendous amounts of food.
Make it easy to clean and easy to touch up: spend the money for paint that you can scrub. Try to eliminate sunken rooms (stairs cause falls) and anything that can’t take abuse or would cause injury. Think in terms of ease of use, so kids can learn to help younger, and think in terms of being able to put gates in so the crawling one won’t hurt himself while you’re stuck in the bathroom doing toilet training. Think about putting the windows close to the floor, so the toddlers can see out without climbing. Think of built-in storage or how you will attach anything to the wall that could fall over. IOW, think of climbing toddlers, wrestling middle-schoolers, teens who don’t know their own strength, groups of children who will use wheeled vehicles in your house when you told them not to, and build accordingly. It is money well-spent.
E
EasterJoy
Guest
There are good reasons not to have a house for kids that is overly “open concept.” Open concept is great for two people. It is when you add two people and all of their progeny, none yet in college, where the problems come in.
What gets communicated when one person is trying to study, one is trying to practice piano, another is trying to watch the game on TV (or is forbidden to solely because his sibling is practicing piano), and two others are tearing around playing tag because it is too rainy to play in the yard–all while one parent is trying to hear what the other is saying on the other end of the phone!-- is not exactly the kind of communication that promotes togetherness.
You want to be able to eat all together and you need somewhere that a rosary can be recited together, but permanent conversational seating space for everyone in one room is a luxury. Think potluck or baby shower: when everyone needs to be in the same space, you drag extra chairs in.
B
Baelor
Guest
Right, so I guess it comes down to circumstance. Clearly, a family with five children will have different considerations than a family with two children. Furthermore, it is not as if the entire house need be open, and it is not as if everything has to be in the open space (e.g. perhaps a separate TV/media room as applicable, or a separate study room, etc.).
E
EasterJoy
Guest
I like the kitchen open to “screen opportunities”, like computers and the TV, because it is important to be able to keep tabs on what the kids are up to while meals are being prepared. Otherwise, they just have to wait until you’re tagged down to a skillet, and they can look at whatever they want.
Besides, it is not a bad thing to have to the TV close to the busy parent handing out chores while working on dinner or lunch. The parent has to hunt less for help that way!
D
DebChris
Guest
I find this discussion interesting, not because I plan in any new future to purchase/build a home for myself, but because I have actually been thinking along the lines of what style home would be most conducive to this very question. My thoughts developed after being on another thread, about setting up a prayer corner or home shrine (home altar) in the home.
Brownstones, at least as depicted on TV, usually have a corner tucked away from the main living area. This could become a prayer corner with a home altar.
I come from a large family; my parents always looked for 4 bedroom houses. Each of us had a nightstand and a shadow box, that my father made, for displaying special belongings. I had a small drawer and a large drawer in the dresser to keep my clothes. Mate beds provide drawer space under the bed and can leave room for things like bookcases and desks. A captain’s bed, like I bought my own daughter, is actually too big and can present problems if you ever move. I like the suggestion on a earlier thread of each child having a shelf on the bedroom bookcase on which to create his/her own altar. A holy water font by the door of each bedroom as you leave is a nice touch.
I agree with an earlier poster, that you do want a telephone hookup in the master bedroom. You will want the internet to be in a place where you can monitor its use. I don’t know why, but I tend to sleep better upstairs than downstairs. It may be because the sleeping quarters are separated from the main living/utilitarian part of the home.
I do tend to like older style homes. I like the living room to be separate from the living room. It might have a partition that allows it to open toward the living room for family gatherings. A small sewing nook/room could also be off the dining room. There are many times you will want access to a large dining table.
When I did own my own home, the dining room was actually the room first entered by the front door. Before that I lived in an apartment with a large kitchen, again the first room entered. This setup proved very practical. I like window seats and bay windows.
Don’t forget a coat closet off the main entry for guests. You will need a place for family members to put school bags, etc., as well as a family communication center including a calendar.
G
gardenswithkids
Guest
What a great topic!
I have lots of thoughts, but two ideas that stand out the most if you are designing from scratch is: tall ceilings in the bedrooms and good insulation.
A friend of mine with a large family has tall ceilings in the children’s bedrooms and they feel more spacious, even with bunk beds. If you have a large family and a small house, you will likely have bunk beds at some point.
Secondly, a large family can get loud. Consider the accoustics when you plan the house. Good insulation between the walls and the floors/ceilings can help lessen the noise.
D
DebChris
Guest
Plan for growth, both the size of the family and the size of the offspring.
You will want your master bedroom big enough for a sitting area, which can also be a place to put the crib during the first few months of a child’s life. Growing up, the only time we were allowed in our parents’ room was for the daily rosary when we would kneel around the bed.
As a child, the house where I lived the longest had a den off the back bedrooms. In today’s terminology, it would be what is called a bonus room. It had a desk and could serve as a study room. It could also be a playroom for younger children.
When I bought my own house, I placed a desk on one side of the bed and a dresser on the other side. I had plenty of room at the foot of my bed for exercise.
With my father in the military, we moved a lot. The way my youngest brother knew we were home is when my mother put up the Last Supper and Angelus pictures on the dining room wall.
One townhouse I looked at during an open house had Cape Cod type windows. One of the nooks created by this type of design served as a place for prayer. It was also interesting that the laundry room was placed between the two bedrooms.
I personally like a pass through between the dining room and kitchen which may or may not have a bar. One kitchen design I saw in a magazine had a two level kitchen island. One level was for eating, the other for working. It would be great for involving the kids in kitchen tasks.
fisheaters.com/domesticchurch.html
You will want your master bedroom big enough for a sitting area, which can also be a place to put the crib during the first few months of a child’s life. Growing up, the only time we were allowed in our parents’ room was for the daily rosary when we would kneel around the bed.
As a child, the house where I lived the longest had a den off the back bedrooms. In today’s terminology, it would be what is called a bonus room. It had a desk and could serve as a study room. It could also be a playroom for younger children.
When I bought my own house, I placed a desk on one side of the bed and a dresser on the other side. I had plenty of room at the foot of my bed for exercise.
With my father in the military, we moved a lot. The way my youngest brother knew we were home is when my mother put up the Last Supper and Angelus pictures on the dining room wall.
One townhouse I looked at during an open house had Cape Cod type windows. One of the nooks created by this type of design served as a place for prayer. It was also interesting that the laundry room was placed between the two bedrooms.
I personally like a pass through between the dining room and kitchen which may or may not have a bar. One kitchen design I saw in a magazine had a two level kitchen island. One level was for eating, the other for working. It would be great for involving the kids in kitchen tasks.
fisheaters.com/domesticchurch.html
E
EasterJoy
Guest
Everything about the big playroom at my parents’ house was great except the location. It sounded like the ceiling was going to come down when the kids were tearing around up there. Their lot didn’t allow for a basement, though, because the water table was too high.
There will always be trade-offs. That’s the first rule of finding a house.
F
ForAll
Guest
What a GREAT topic! I second everything EasterJoy said - what fantastic ideas.
Also, depending on where you live, I would consider an attached garage a must-have. It rains A LOT where I am in the summer and I told my husband when we were house hunting that I did not want a house without one: hauling kids in and out of the car in the rain is not fun.
On the subject of home altars, I really encourage y’all to think about making a place for one! We placed the kneeler my dad made for our wedding in our room, and along with the easy chair in the corner, it provides an area for us to both be in prayer, either together or separately. Your area can be as big or small as you like, and can include prayer books, statues, icons, rosaries, etc. As much as I like ours, though, I’d love to have one in a more “public” area of the house - since ours often ends up covered in laundry!
Great question to ask, though; wonderful considerations for if we ever move!
Also, depending on where you live, I would consider an attached garage a must-have. It rains A LOT where I am in the summer and I told my husband when we were house hunting that I did not want a house without one: hauling kids in and out of the car in the rain is not fun.
On the subject of home altars, I really encourage y’all to think about making a place for one! We placed the kneeler my dad made for our wedding in our room, and along with the easy chair in the corner, it provides an area for us to both be in prayer, either together or separately. Your area can be as big or small as you like, and can include prayer books, statues, icons, rosaries, etc. As much as I like ours, though, I’d love to have one in a more “public” area of the house - since ours often ends up covered in laundry!
Great question to ask, though; wonderful considerations for if we ever move!
B
Bruised_Reed
Guest
Interesting topic; I didn’t know so many have thought about this.
Visitability is high on my list so:
4 bedrooms - Master, boys room, girls room and extra (guest room or extra room in case you have 7 boys and 1 girl
)
Bathrooms designed in such away that 2 or more can use it any any one time. You know how some hotel rooms have the commode and tub/shower in a room with a lockable door but the sink is out in the open? Something like that.
I was on a retreat at a monastary and each room had a private (tiny) bathroom and a private bathroom was for purposes of modesty and avoiding near occasion of sin. I hadn’t thought about it before then but the arrangement was prudent. For a retreat, though it was a luxury.
Visitability is high on my list so:
- zero step entry
- 1st floor doorways are 36 inches wide
- 1/2 bath (at minimum) on 1st floor
4 bedrooms - Master, boys room, girls room and extra (guest room or extra room in case you have 7 boys and 1 girl
)Bathrooms designed in such away that 2 or more can use it any any one time. You know how some hotel rooms have the commode and tub/shower in a room with a lockable door but the sink is out in the open? Something like that.
I was on a retreat at a monastary and each room had a private (tiny) bathroom and a private bathroom was for purposes of modesty and avoiding near occasion of sin. I hadn’t thought about it before then but the arrangement was prudent. For a retreat, though it was a luxury.
H
Hokomai
Guest
A book called “A Pattern Language” by Alexander (I think) is good for stimulating ideas. If you are going to have a large family, think noise! I would go as far as getting a trained acoustic consultant in. Non-reflective surfaces (tapestries!) help a lot. I thnk those squares with a covered walkway and a garden in the middle with (safe) water features like you see in old monasteries are great, and would provide good indoor-outdoor movement for kids. Also: stained glass! We commissioned stained glass windows for the side of our house with a poor outlook (secular of course) - I notice lots of ex-Church stained glass on ebay. I love it - it’s the main thing that gets me into churches!
D
DebChris
Guest
While I never lived in a home with a “hotel style” bathroom, I agree that it is a good idea. It is not an unusual situation for one person to need to use the toilet while another person is taking a bath/shower. P-hew.Interesting topic; I didn’t know so many have thought about this.
Visitability is high on my list so:
Also, ideally:
- zero step entry
- 1st floor doorways are 36 inches wide
- 1/2 bath (at minimum) on 1st floor
4 bedrooms - Master, boys room, girls room and extra (guest room or extra room in case you have 7 boys and 1 girl
Bathrooms designed in such away that 2 or more can use it any any one time. You know how some hotel rooms have the commode and tub/shower in a room with a lockable door but the sink is out in the open? Something like that.
I was on a retreat at a monastary and each room had a private (tiny) bathroom and a private bathroom was for purposes of modesty and avoiding near occasion of sin. I hadn’t thought about it before then but the arrangement was prudent. For a retreat, though it was a luxury.
I had 4 brothers and 4 sisters, although because of age differences there were never more than 7 of us at home at any one time. Of course, those who left home came back for visits. That would mean me giving up my bed and sleeping on the floor, which I actually liked. My parents always looked for 4 bedroom houses with 1 and 1/2 baths to minimize the above situation. When I was in high school, my sister and her children stayed with us until she was able to join her husband overseas.
I remember our family being given double quarters because of size when my father was stationed overseas. This meant 2 kitchens (1 became my father’s workshop), 2 dining rooms (1 was used for a sewing room), and 2 living rooms. Upstairs, we had a girls’ bathroom which was shared by my parents, and a boys’ bathroom. After my brothers graduated from high school, except my youngest, we were transferred to a single quarters with 3 !/2 bedrooms. The 1/2 bedroom was used for storage. I shared a bedroom with my 2 younger sisters until my youngest brother graduated high school at which time his room became mine.
Yes, I remember 3 brothers, all in high school, sharing one bedroom.
There was even a short period of time, while waiting for military quarters, that my youngest sister and I shared a bedroom with my parents. My then 4 year old sister shared my brothers’ bedroom.
D
DebChris
Guest
I still remember the first time I came home and it was quiet. I was in high school.
D
DebChris
Guest
I still remember the first time I came home from school and it was quiet. I was in high school.
A large porch also provides a nice place for play.
One reason I like window seats is that I still remember sleeping on the window seat when we visited my grandmother.
C
Cat
Guest
I think any house of any design can be “Catholic” and foster family closeness. And I think that houses designed for family closeness can be lonely and cold, depending on the family. It’s all up to the parents and how they run their home and rear their children. Architecture can help, but even if the architecture, the parents can still have a Christian home.
If you can manage, perhaps build a family “chapel” rather than just an altar. It doesn’t have to be huge or expensive, but it would be good if the room was away from all the other rooms for the sake of privacy and quiet. I’ve seen this done, and I just love it.
If you can manage, perhaps build a family “chapel” rather than just an altar. It doesn’t have to be huge or expensive, but it would be good if the room was away from all the other rooms for the sake of privacy and quiet. I’ve seen this done, and I just love it.
D
DebChris
Guest
I think it is good to want a cozy home rather than one that is so large that individuals can feel isolated from one another. That being said, you do want to make sure that there is adequate room for everybody. I am not going to give specific measurements. I think that is something that you can work out on your own. My bedroom, when I was in high school was 9 ft. X 9 ft. which basically left room for a twin bed and a dresser. I mentioned 1/2 bedrooms on earlier posts. These rooms were basically the size of a walk-in closet. They provided room for a single cot, but little more. When we were in double quarters, one 1/2 bedroom was used for my baby sister’s nursery and later turned into a playroom. The other 1/2 bedroom served as a study for my brothers. The desk fit the width of the room. It would be a good size if you wanted a chapel, per CAT’s suggestion, or for a sewing room.
A four bedroom house can fit the needs of most families. What size should the bedrooms be? You will want enough room for two beds in each room. It can be difficult to make beds if they are pushed against the wall. Leave enough space between the bed and the wall for a nightstand plus a dresser between beds. Many dressers are made so that a bookcase fits on top. When you do have children, you may want to arrange the beds in an L rather than parallel. The parallel concept is for planning the room only. Leave room at the foot of each bed for a footlocker or desk with chair. Leave walk space, a little wider than the door between the desk/footlocker and the wall of the room. These are for each of the three bedrooms other than the master bedroom. The space you want to add for a closet is not included. If two rooms are back to back, you could use a half wall on each side for closet space.
When designing your master bedroom, you need to think first about what size bed you use, queen or king. Do you want a walk-in closet or one that takes up a full wall? I personally like walk-in closets. If I had the luxury of designing my own home, I would definitely want a private bath. As mentioned earlier, you will want enough room for a sitting area where you can keep the baby’s crib during his/her first few months. You might like a prayer corner in your room. It is nice to have a desk with phone (for emergencies) by the bed. Of course you will need to leave enough room for your dressers. A loveseat at the foot of the bed is a nice touch.
A four bedroom house can fit the needs of most families. What size should the bedrooms be? You will want enough room for two beds in each room. It can be difficult to make beds if they are pushed against the wall. Leave enough space between the bed and the wall for a nightstand plus a dresser between beds. Many dressers are made so that a bookcase fits on top. When you do have children, you may want to arrange the beds in an L rather than parallel. The parallel concept is for planning the room only. Leave room at the foot of each bed for a footlocker or desk with chair. Leave walk space, a little wider than the door between the desk/footlocker and the wall of the room. These are for each of the three bedrooms other than the master bedroom. The space you want to add for a closet is not included. If two rooms are back to back, you could use a half wall on each side for closet space.
When designing your master bedroom, you need to think first about what size bed you use, queen or king. Do you want a walk-in closet or one that takes up a full wall? I personally like walk-in closets. If I had the luxury of designing my own home, I would definitely want a private bath. As mentioned earlier, you will want enough room for a sitting area where you can keep the baby’s crib during his/her first few months. You might like a prayer corner in your room. It is nice to have a desk with phone (for emergencies) by the bed. Of course you will need to leave enough room for your dressers. A loveseat at the foot of the bed is a nice touch.
D
DebChris
Guest
The spare bedroom can double as a guest room and library until and unless it is needed for any children you may have.Interesting topic; I didn’t know so many have thought about this.
Visitability is high on my list so:
Also, ideally:
- zero step entry
- 1st floor doorways are 36 inches wide
- 1/2 bath (at minimum) on 1st floor
4 bedrooms - Master, boys room, girls room and extra (guest room or extra room in case you have 7 boys and 1 girl
Bathrooms designed in such away that 2 or more can use it any any one time. You know how some hotel rooms have the commode and tub/shower in a room with a lockable door but the sink is out in the open? Something like that.
I was on a retreat at a monastary and each room had a private (tiny) bathroom and a private bathroom was for purposes of modesty and avoiding near occasion of sin. I hadn’t thought about it before then but the arrangement was prudent. For a retreat, though it was a luxury.
- Status