Desire to badmouth

[Ailina]

Revenge is Mine, saith the Lord. Deuteronomy 32:35

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Turn the other cheek***.Matthew 5:39

It’s not about your husband anymore. Now it’s about you and God. ***
Choose ye this day whom you will serve. … As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

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Ailina, I’m so sorry for your pain and betrayal. I have been through similar. I was married to a pastor’s son who was “perfect” and “could do no wrong.”

I don’t want my anger and bitterness to keep me in Purgatory or prevent me from going to Heaven. God is love. Where there is love, there is God. In heaven, there will be no sadness, heartache, bitterness, anger, or hatred. I wish to rid myself of it here on earth, so I can get to Heaven faster.

Yes, thanks for those words. It is so hard when he is so unrepentant and hard-hearted. He is very angry with me because I popped the little fantasy bubble world he had been living in for so many years. He is also angry because I spoke to the Tribunal and revealed the circumstances of our divorce. He has sworn he will fight to keep me from getting an annulment. I’m not sure why he’d care, since he is an atheist.

I do have to ask: How will he ever repent if he gets to continue living this dark and secret life, unseen by his family and healthy friends? He passed on an STD to me; how many others will he pass it on to, not to mention the new ones he’ll pick up?

 

[graceandglory]

I do have to ask: How will he ever repent if he gets to continue living this dark and secret life, unseen by his family and healthy friends? He passed on an STD to me; how many others will he pass it on to, not to mention the new ones he’ll pick up?

Bring it to your priest, bring it to the tribunal.

If your X can keep you churning in anger and resentment, he has won. The Enemy, the Devil, has won.

Work aggressively to rid yourself of anger and the desire for revenge. Find Catholic books that deal with the subject. Go to a counselor, to help you get those thoughts off the front burner of your mind.

Pray to St. Michael.

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and ** snares of the devil.**
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen…

 

[dulcissima]

Ailina, you are free from him really. Don’t let him suck you in to his game. Don’t give him your energy. You have no control now over how low he will sink, how depraved he will be. Let it all go, and focus all of your energy on becoming the strong woman that you need to be now.

 

[Ailina]

Bring it to your priest, bring it to the tribunal.

If your X can keep you churning in anger and resentment, he has won. The Enemy, the Devil, has won.

Work aggressively to rid yourself of anger and the desire for revenge. Find Catholic books that deal with the subject. Go to a counselor, to help you get those thoughts off the front burner of your mind.

Pray to St. Michael.

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and ** snares of the devil.**
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen…

It is normal and healthy to be angry about this. It isn’t a sin to have feelings, btw. It’s what I do with those feelings. I have to work through it, and am, on a daily basis. I was just giving the original poster my opinion that talking to CLOSE friends and family about what happened is not character assassination, and is not bad-mouthing. It is part of emotional support.

 

[Ailina]

Ailina, you are free from him really. Don’t let him suck you in to his game. Don’t give him your energy. You have no control now over how low he will sink, how depraved he will be. Let it all go, and focus all of your energy on becoming the strong woman that you need to be now.

He’s not sucking me into his game, because I refuse to talk to him directly anymore. Our only interactions are regarding the kids, and only the bare minimum at that. Any other issues are through our lawyers.

 

[graceandglory]

It is normal and healthy to be angry about this. It isn’t a sin to have feelings, btw. It’s what I do with those feelings. I have to work through it, and am, on a daily basis. I was just giving the original poster my opinion that talking to CLOSE friends and family about what happened is not character assassination, and is not bad-mouthing. It is part of emotional support.

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Be angry and sin not.***

Do you think God will let us into Heaven, if we are still angry and vengeful?

Anger hurts the person who carries it the most. It is clear from your posts that it is really eating you up inside.

When I post my thoughts, I am always posting them as much for my own benefit and others, as I am responding to a particular poster. This topic thread is about badmouthing. I share about badmouthing, detraction and the anger that fuels it from personal experience, and from watching people completely destroy themselves because of an inability to get past anger.

 

[Ailina]

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Be angry and sin not.***

Do you think God will let us into Heaven, if we are still angry and vengeful?

Anger hurts the person who carries it the most. It is clear from your posts that it is really eating you up inside.

When I post my thoughts, I am always posting them as much for my own benefit and others, as I am responding to a particular poster. This topic thread is about badmouthing. I share about badmouthing, detraction and the anger that fuels it from personal experience, and from watching people completely destroy themselves because of an inability to get past anger.

Are you aware that suppressed anger turns into depression? That is what depression is: unexpressed and suppressed anger. Something I learned in my group support.

Even Jesus got angry. It’s part of being human. And actually, I am not angry so much as hurt. I have not retaliated or sought vengence (which would be what in this case?). I have asked for help from my closest friends and family, after being betrayed by the one who was supposed to love me and protect me. Explaining my situation is part of it.

 

[nobeerinheaven]

Ailina, do something positive with that anger if you don’t want it to turn into depression. And if does turn into depression? Offer it up - be united to Christ through redemptive suffering. However, talking about his crimes toward you are *not *virtuous ways of getting rid of that anger - no matter what rationalization you try to spin it with. You must especially bring this matter to the attention of your confessor and have him analyze your motives with you, in order to determine the degree to which what you do is sinful.