Desiring Greatness

[Kateri92]

So, I really want to be a saint. But I also want to be an example of heroic virtue… I feel like this sounds self absorbed but I really want to live an epic life that leads others to God. Now, because of this desire, I feel like I keep wanting more… but, I don’t know what that entails. I’m still not sure what vocation God wills for me (though I’m leaning towards marriage) and I sometime feel like even if I ever was saintly, it wouldn’t be enough. It was only this month that I began to crave sanctity to such a degree. I even have just subconsciously begun wearing skirts instead of pants and have been increasing my prayer time and mass attendance. I look at saints like John Paul II, Mother Theresa, and Miguel pro and feel inferior (and complete awe)…

How can I go about addressing this desire? Am I being self absorbed? Does God desire the greatness I desire?

 

[JamalChristophr]

It’s a noble desire. Seems like it’s from the Holy Spirit to me! Attend daily mass as often as you can and adoration. Getting a spiritual director may help you very much. Pray that you find a good one.



Maybe you should read “Story of a Soul” by St. Therese of Lisieux.

 

[CRM_Brother]

So, I really want to be a saint. But I also want to be an example of heroic virtue… I feel like this sounds self absorbed but I really want to live an epic life that leads others to God. Now, because of this desire, I feel like I keep wanting more… but, I don’t know what that entails. I’m still not sure what vocation God wills for me (though I’m leaning towards marriage) and I sometime feel like even if I ever was saintly, it wouldn’t be enough. It was only this month that I began to crave sanctity to such a degree. I even have just subconsciously begun wearing skirts instead of pants and have been increasing my prayer time and mass attendance. I look at saints like John Paul II, Mother Theresa, and Miguel pro and feel inferior (and complete awe)…

How can I go about addressing this desire? Am I being self absorbed? Does God desire the greatness I desire?

My dear sister, there is nothing wrong with yearning for sanctity and desiring to lead others to Christ. It is not the action of attaining this, but the reason behind this action that can lead us into sin. You must answer the question, ‘Do I have this yearning and desire for the sake of God, or for my own glory?’ Would you still live a life of heroic virtue even if you were assured that no one would notice, that nothing you do will ever be acknowledged by man? To truly be a saint, one must live a life of heroic virtue for the sole purpose of living solely for God. Sanctity is not measured in results, but in the action and the reason behind that action.

You look at the saints and feel inadequate. I tell you, when the saints looked at the lives of the saints that went before them, they too felt inadequate. Everyone who attempts to walk the path of holiness finds their inadequacies magnified. The closer and closer you come to the Lord, the more clearly you see His perfection, and that perfection makes your imperfect human nature seem all the more heinous. The saints did not become discouraged, however, and neither should you. They see each imperfection in their soul as the next obstacle between He and them. They attack those obstacles with abandon to try to fashion themselves into a more accurate image of His Son. They took this path, and so can you. Do not put the saints on a pedestal, but rather run the race and walk the Way with them, as brothers and sisters. Learn from their mistakes and take advice in how they tackled their own imperfections, but never forget that they were in your position at one point. They made the conscious decision to never be discouraged away from the path to holiness. I pray that you make the same decision day in and day out.

You will be in my prayers,
Br. Ben

 

[Lighthouse2000]

Attending Mass and increasing in prayer are wonderful things to do. Another post mentioned being sure that it is for the glory of God and not for your own sake - that is very important to distinguish. Striving to be a saint is worthy of the effort, after all we are all called to do this. I also find the more modest dress (skirts instead of pants) is a great step as well. Modesty in dress is always best. My prayers are with you.

 

[GEddie]

To desire recognition for holiness is to an extent, counterproductive.

There is no need in holiness to be largely visible. Remember, the Church is a body, and in our human bodies, the vast majority of the cells are hidden beneath the skin.

ICXC NIKA

 

[JamalChristophr]

I feel like this sounds self absorbed but I really want to live an epic life that leads others to God.

Then you must desire to remain hidden and unknown to the world. If it sounds like a paradox, it is!

 

[Kateri92]

Then you must desire to remain hidden and unknown to the world. If it sounds like a paradox, it is!

That’s the thing, I do want to remain “hidden” but at the same time I don’t… if that makes any sense. I guess, I feel like I don’t want attention but I want to have other see Christ in me. I want to really live the life God gave me.

 

[fred_conty]

That’s the thing, I do want to remain “hidden” but at the same time I don’t… if that makes any sense. I guess, I feel like I don’t want attention but I want to have other see Christ in me. I want to really live the life God gave me.

Nothing wrong in that… St. Paul more or less said the same thing.

If I may suggest something. Start reading about contemplative prayer and at least familiarize yourself with it. And if you haven’t begun, withdraw within yourself every hour a minute to reflect on who you are carrying within your soul and have a brief session of silence in his presence. Even if only for a few seconds. It is important to be with him as much as you can thruout your day.

If you do this, he will give you the direction and help you need.

May divine mercy, peace, and love be yours in ever greater measure.

 

[esieffe]

By the time one arrives at Sainthood, the desire for recognition will have been long abandoned. Just food for thought. This does not mean that your quest is not a noble one. If this first desire leads you to that end, that is fine, but mark my words, if you become absorbed in the work, and it is the work you were meant for, this desire for greatness will eventually leave.