Desperate Anxiety and Depression Attack

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mwil001

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Can someone body please pray for me and help me? I am feeling so scared and lost at the moment like I’m barely holding on to the edge of a cliff.

I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety before but am in a slup again. I tried asking the apologists for help but didn’t get an answer yet.

This episode started when I began questioning and researching if God loves everyone the same. I read some different responses and then read that God must love Mary the most.

Then I started getting very sad and anxious that God must not love me and that I must not be special to Him . I don’t know if I am now jealous of Mary, if that can even make since. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to be better than anyone; I just want to know that God loves everyone equally but uniquely, like I love my children equally but differently because they are different.

I feel like I am starting down this very dark pit. I can’t think about anything else and have to constantly fight back tears. I can’t function like this.

Now all my of old fears and doubts are coming back. Fear of death, fear of Heaven/concept of forever, fear of there being no God, fear of there being different levels of heaven and that I might be jealous of being at a different level, sadness at the fact that everyone I love is going to die, sadness and fear my relationship with my husband will not be the same/ as loving in Heaven. I have a wonderful husband; he is my best friend, I can’t imagine not having that anymore.

Basically right now I am searching for answers to relieve my doubts and fears. I have a great doctor but he is far and not covered by insurance, and I can’t get in to see him at the moment.

I can’t go to my parish priest because my children go to the school there and I know a lot of people there. I don’t want people to think I’m crazy, seeing me crying non-stop.

I am on medication but it isn’t helping right now.

I am almost at the point of wishing I never existed. My faith is wavering so much.

I tried going to adornation, but had to leave because I didn’t want to cry in front of people I knew there.

I try praying but feel more alone and anxiety. Please can someone answer my questions and help me. :sad_bye::sad_bye::sad_bye:

I have three children, and a husband, and responsibilities. I can’t go on like this.
 
Talking to God is like talking to friend on the telephone. We may not see Him on the other end but we know…He’s listening.

Go go go sister. How about a Rosary everyday…Remember Mama Mary will always take care for us, for we are her children. Don’t lose faith…God is making you strong…:):)🙂
 
Dear mwil001,

Hang in there, even though I haven’t experienced what your going through I understand it totally because a a very dear family member has been going through similar things, but thanks to God she has found a medication to help her symptoms-- it must be so hard for you. If only you knew how very special you are to God and how he is suffering right there beside you. This is a beautiful prayer that I sometimes post and is accompanied by a picture of Jesus walking on the water reaching down to Peter who is starting to drown because he took his eyes off Jesus. It is a prayer about trust. It was a prayer I recieved when I was in the pits of despair with a cancer diagnoses, drowning in my problems with an uncertain future.

PRAYER FOR TRUST IN JESUS
O Christ Jesus, when all is darkness,
and we feel our weakness and helplessness,
give us a sense of your presence, Your love,
and Your strength.

Help us to have perfect trust in your
protecting love and strengthening power,
so that nothing may frighten or worry us,
for living close to you, we shall see your
hand, Your purpose, Your will through
all things.

-St Ignatius of Loyola

I am praying for you
 
mwil001 said:
This episode started when I began questioning and researching if God loves everyone the same.
Click to expand...
"He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world."1 John 2:2

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

Yes, God truely loves the whole world 🙂
 
Hello,
I am sorry you not feeling great right now. I have moments and our current parish priest has found a way I can share and its private.

I would like you to try your parish priest because yes he knows your family and friends but hopefully like ours, he will be very discrete. He won’t share what you have shared with anyone even to the point of not checking up with you how you are etc. That might seem cold at first but its total 100% discretion and trust.

You might be amazed how he can help though I don’t want to make any promise because sometimes its more down to us where we are at in our journey too that makes the real difference. They can say all the words but it how we apply them.

He will also be able to reaffirm that God does love you and help you back on track. Or at least my parish priest did when I needed to hear that. It will never be perfect but we learn ways of muddling through and then better management ways of really coping bit by bit.

Peace be with you :grouphug:
 
I don’t think you understand what is being said about Mary. It is certainly nothing to be upset about.

God’s Love is unrationed and he want’s to Love us completely. One might say that God Loves Mary more than he loves me, but it is not because Mary is more deserving of Love, but rather that she more perfectly receives that Love. Love is a two way street and our refusal to accept God’s Love is the only thing that reduces the amount that God is able to Love us. When we sin we are explicitly rejecting God’s Love. Mary chooses not to sin, therefore she experiences more of God’s Love. As we are perfected, we shall experience the same Love.

I would encourage you to focus on how you can Love God. You appear to be having some anxiety so I would say a great place would be in letting go of control. Pray for peace in your life. God will perfect you. Give him time. I would strongly encourage you to make a commitment to go to adoration for an hour a week. You say you are afraid of crying. Let go. God will take care of you. I have had many moments in my Life where I sincerely needed to cry. Sometimes it takes courage to cry, especially in front of other people, and especially in front of God. No one is going to think less of you. Go to your parish priest if you need help. Your problems are FAR from being out of the ordinary.

I hope that helps a little. I will pray that God helps you discover peace and I will pray that God fills you heart with abundant Joy.
 
I truly appreciate your prayers. I tried praying in a different church today but didn’t talk to a priest. I’m trying to hang in there and praying for faith. Life is such a struggle. Reading young posts help some. I’m also ocd and obsess over things that worry me. I will pray for everyone here. Please continue to prayer for me.
 
Lord, please grant mwil001 peace, serenity, strength, courage, the deepest faith, surrender to your holy will and abandonment to your divine providence. Help him/her to know your love and peace. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer.
 
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