Desperately need convincing

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Kellenor

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Hi all,

I’m going to skip the long preamble of my spiritual history and background for now (suffice it to say that I was “raised Catholic,” but have identified myself as a Pagan for most of my life and have always been drawn to religious / spritual studies) and just get right to the gnawing, aching, relentless question that I have:

Why should I be Christian?

Ultimately, what I really need is for someone to convince me once and for all that this really is THE True path…

Desperately need it.

I know that someone once posted a thread like this, and a comment reflected incredulity that someone should need convincing… but there you have it. I do. Am I constantly drawn back to God because He is real, or simply because the idea of God/Jesus/Christianity has been infused into my psyche because of the Christian culture I live in? Is it guilt, or a true calling?

So much about Paganism is so beautiful and appealing to me… but an equal if not greater amount of it (at least of Neo-Paganism) is uninspiring, foolish, and pointless to me… On the other hand, the concept of God and Jesus is wonderful in many ways, but the “shove the Bible and Christianity down your throat” nature of so many Christian denominations and Christians themselves turns me off…

Help please… 😦
 
Jesus says of Himself that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life and commands us to take up our cross and follow Him. He tells the Apostles that he who hears them hears Himself. So let us obey all of the teachings of the holy Church, take up our cross and follow Jesus under the care of our holy Father Pope Benedict XVI.
 
I’ve read that. I’ve been told that. But that unfortunately doesn’t help me… doesn’t address my deep need for a real understanding of whether or not there is anything to believe in…
 
Do you believe that Jesus died for you so you could be with Him forever in Heaven?
 
I don’t know if I do…

Intellectually, I know there is proof that a man named Jesus did live at that time…

Was he God? Is there a God? That’s my struggle… Is the feeling I have in my gut merely a product of my upbringing in a (primarily) Christian culture, or is it something real?
 
Why should you be a Christian?
I have a number of reasons flood into my head. To distill it down, it is the most amazing, wonderful, unbelievable thing to have God, the Creator of the universe, who is outside of time, as my own loving Father. It is an unbelievable, incredible experience. Jesus opened the door so that I can call God “Father”.

I lived with parents who didn’t have religion in their lives. I can tell you that God had mercy on me, revealed Himself to me, loved on me. I would never ever consider going back to the ‘not knowing God’ place. I wish that for you today, to find God. If you knew how much he loves you, you would fall down to the ground and sob.

Keep asking Him to show Himself to you.
 
Kellenor said:
Hi all,

I’m going to skip the long preamble of my spiritual history and background for now (suffice it to say that I was “raised Catholic,” but have identified myself as a Pagan for most of my life and have always been drawn to religious / spritual studies) and just get right to the gnawing, aching, relentless question that I have:

Why should I be Christian?

Ultimately, what I really need is for someone to convince me once and for all that this really is THE True path…

Desperately need it.

I know that someone once posted a thread like this, and a comment reflected incredulity that someone should need convincing… but there you have it. I do. Am I constantly drawn back to God because He is real, or simply because the idea of God/Jesus/Christianity has been infused into my psyche because of the Christian culture I live in? Is it guilt, or a true calling?

So much about Paganism is so beautiful and appealing to me… but an equal if not greater amount of it (at least of Neo-Paganism) is uninspiring, foolish, and pointless to me… On the other hand, the concept of God and Jesus is wonderful in many ways, but the “shove the Bible and Christianity down your throat” nature of so many Christian denominations and Christians themselves turns me off…

Help please… 😦
Click to expand...
I don’t know why this popped into my head, but I will just ask:

Have you read up on the Marian apparitions? Particularly Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Lourdes, and Our Lady of Fatima?
 
I think the fact that you have a gnawing, aching relentless feeling that you need to know… tells you that deep down you already do know. Why Jesus? Why Catholicism? Why Christianity?

As a Christian, I believe that people are created with an innate need to worship God. I know that may sound farfetched for some, but it explains the way we humans behave. Everyone seems to be searching for something to fill that ‘hole’ in their soul. For some they turn to power, others money, some drugs or alcohol. They keep trying to find the happiness that they are seeking, and when it begins to fade they have to get more. They are happy for a moment, of course. They get the ‘high’ they are seeking, but then it begins to fade. They begin to think, oh if I can just get a little more of this… I’ll be happy. So they get a little more money, a few more cars, a higher promotion, and for a while… again they are happy. Then the cycle starts again.

To me it is like that child’s toy, with the blocks that you put into the corresponding holes. Only the star will fit in the star, the block in the block, the triangle in the triangle. Sometimes you can force the triangle into the square, but it only fits a little, and doesn’t fill it all the way up… and to be honest, it seems uncomfortable. It’s only when you put God, in the God shaped hole that true happiness can be found.

I believe that Christianity by it’s very nature calls out to people as the most powerful of the various religions. Only in Christianity does God come down to us. Only in Christianity does God become powerless and put himself into the hands of humans. In the other religions, God is so far above and beyond us, so much holier (and Christianity holds this as well, but in a different way) that he would never become a person, or even touch one of us. We are simply toys in some religions. In others we are scum that can never even approach God.

In Christianity God condescended into the form of a human, and not just any human… a human child. He lay helpless in the arms of Mary and Joseph, the arms of humanity. God, the all powerful, put himself into our hands to be trusted, and yet he expected them to do more… to show him to the world. Christianity reveals that same trust, that same calling every time that a Christian celebrates the Eucharist(communion). We believe that God comes down once again in the form of bread, how much more defenseless can you get? Then he trusts us to take him in our hands, receive him into our very bodies as temples, and then to go out into the world and share that love, that trust, that compassion with the rest of the world.

Even to those who do not believe in God, it should indeed call out on some visceral level as an astounding thing! That the Christian God expects us to go out and share love, not anger or hate, not returning an eye for an eye, but love and peace. Yes, people have done some horrible things in the name of Christianity, and none have had more sinful people in it than Catholicism. Yet, that is entirely the point of Christianity. Christianity offers a hospital for the sick, not a way of perfection, but a way of progress. It offers a hope that anyone, no matter how bad their vice, can overcome the ‘flesh’ and work towards being a better person, and making life better not just for themselves, but more importantly for others.

That’s a powerful notion. The notion that the self is not as important as your neighbor. That if all of us, submitted to one another as servants. You as mine, and me as yours… neither of us would have any wants… because you would fulfill all I need, and I would fulfill all that you need. If you were thirsty, you’d have a drink, because I would get it for you. If I were hungry, I’d be filled, because you would help me find food. Yes, that is what makes people Christians. The notion that there is more out there, more than just this life, and it all begins with love.
 
Thank you…
PennyinCanada said:
I can tell you that God had mercy on me, revealed Himself to me, loved on me.
Click to expand...
How did God reveal Himself to you?
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codefro:
Have you read up on the Marian apparitions? Particularly Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Lourdes, and Our Lady of Fatima?
Click to expand...
I haven’t…
 
bmullins, I’m still reading the rest of your post, but this struck me:
bmullins said:
Sometimes you can force the triangle into the square, but it only fits a little, and doesn’t fill it all the way up… and to be honest, it seems uncomfortable. It’s only when you put God, in the God shaped hole that true happiness can be found.
Click to expand...
I think Paganism is my triangle…

I’m so lost…
 
Kellenor said:
I don’t know if I do…

Intellectually, I know there is proof that a man named Jesus did live at that time…

Was he God? Is there a God? That’s my struggle… Is the feeling I have in my gut merely a product of my upbringing in a (primarily) Christian culture, or is it something real?
Click to expand...
The best thing you can do is to give your assent to faith and let understanding follow. Pray to God to know and love Him. Look at the miraculous life of St. Padre Pio and you can’t tell me that Jesus isn’t God.🙂
 
🙂
Kellenor said:
Thank you…

How did God reveal Himself to you?

I haven’t…
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I would recommend actually observing some important occurances that have occured around the Church. Two things I recommend: Take a gander at the story of the appearance of Our Lady of Guadalupe and how that converted thousands of Aztec Indians. A good book is “Maria of Guadalupe” by Badde. Then- look into the appearance of Our Lady of Fatima and the all the things she told 3 little children. She told these children things that were going to happen and gave them messages as Mary is a messanger of her son, Jesus. A good intro for Our Lady of Fatima is a podcast by Jimmy Akin. Go to iTunes or jimmyakin.com and look for the podcast on The Last Secret of Fatima. Trust me, your jaw will hit the floor when you learn about these things. Also, these appearances are not questionable or myths, they actually happened and the Church proclaims these to be matters of the faith.

Hope that helps a bit. 🙂
 
Kellenor said:
I don’t know if I do…

Intellectually, I know there is proof that a man named Jesus did live at that time…

Was he God? Is there a God? That’s my struggle… Is the feeling I have in my gut merely a product of my upbringing in a (primarily) Christian culture, or is it something real?
Click to expand...
Try reading about the Miracle of the Sun at Fatima, it is the only miracle in the history of the world given at an exact time and place before a large crowd of witnesses:

ArguingWithAtheists.com/Pages/Modern_Miracles_Fatima.htm
 
Someone gave me the little book of the story of Our Lady of Fatima. When I got that book, I was ready for it. How He revealed himself is difficult to describe, but I can say it was very much like a light bulb came on in my heart. I didn’t know it was dark in there till that happened. We mostly started an interior conversation. You know when you close your eyes and can imagine a place somewhere. It was like that but I wasn’t initiating the images, God was. It was a way of speaking that I understood but God didn’t use words. I used words of course, asked questions. It seemed as normal as sitting with someone in a room, with someone who loved me and would die for me that they loved me so much. It was so safe, so comforting, so healing. As I said, I was ready for the encounter, and God spent time before hand getting me ready.
 
Kellenor said:
I’ve read that. I’ve been told that. But that unfortunately doesn’t help me… doesn’t address my deep need for a real understanding of whether or not there is anything to believe in…
Click to expand...
Think about it this way, from the view of Pascal’s Wager.

If you don’t believe in Christianity and are wrong, your soul will live eternally in hell.

If you believe in Christianity and are right, you live forever with God.

If you believe in Christianity and are wrong and there is no afterlife, nothing happens. You spent your life believing but when you die nothing happens- it’s no big deal.

Now, regarding number three, as I’m sure this question will come up, why is there no option of believing in Christianity, being wrong, but still suffering because maybe another religion has it right (say, paganism, or Islam, or Judaism)? Does the question make sense? Essentially- what if Christianity has it wrong?

Well, as another poster pointed out Jesus did say “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father but by Me.”

With this statement Jesus raises the stakes of believing or not believing in Christianity into a winner-take-all game. Either you choose to believe in Christianity and are correct, or you choose not to, are wrong, and spend eternity in hell, like I demonstrated above. Jesus’ statement here excludes the possibility of another religion having it right. Basically, He leaves us with two options:
  1. Christianity is right, and everything He said is true, and all the implications of His message are true and should be believed
    OR
  2. Christianity is completely, totally, utterly wrong in every possible way and what He said is false and not one word should be believed.
However, Jesus said He is the only way to the Father, thus excluding another religion from being that path. It’s Christianity or the highway really. Does that make sense?

Those are the only two options that are a result of that statement. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself- “what is a third option?” Good luck answering that 😛

So why should you believe in what He said? Because of the alternatives. If you open the second door into non-belief or belief in another religion and are wrong, well, you lost big-time and for all eternity. If you are right, you win immensely and for all eternity. It’s one giant cost/benefit analysis.

I hope this helps!
 
You are constantly drawn back to God because it is human nature to seek the truth. Because, in your heart, you know that God, and God alone, offers stability and safety in an ever changing and dangerous world. You know the way home. And you know that He is there, patiently waiting for you. I pray that you will come home. In Jesus Name, Amen.
 
Kellenor said:
Hi all,

I’m going to skip the long preamble of my spiritual history and background for now (suffice it to say that I was “raised Catholic,” but have identified myself as a Pagan for most of my life and have always been drawn to religious / spritual studies) and just get right to the gnawing, aching, relentless question that I have:

Why should I be Christian?

Ultimately, what I really need is for someone to convince me once and for all that this really is THE True path…

Desperately need it.

I know that someone once posted a thread like this, and a comment reflected incredulity that someone should need convincing… but there you have it. I do. Am I constantly drawn back to God because He is real, or simply because the idea of God/Jesus/Christianity has been infused into my psyche because of the Christian culture I live in? Is it guilt, or a true calling?

So much about Paganism is so beautiful and appealing to me… but an equal if not greater amount of it (at least of Neo-Paganism) is uninspiring, foolish, and pointless to me… On the other hand, the concept of God and Jesus is wonderful in many ways, but the “shove the Bible and Christianity down your throat” nature of so many Christian denominations and Christians themselves turns me off…

Help please… 😦
Click to expand...
I don’t know if this would help you or not, but try checking whyimcatholic.com/index.php/conversion-stories/pagan-converts. These are testimonies, or conversions, of former pagans to Catholocism.

Perhaps one of their stories can help you come to Christ and His Church. :highprayer:

Just remember, even though you may not believe in God, it doesn’t change that he is real. He loves you, and He wants you in His family. Reach out to him and you will be amazed! 🙂

God bless you.
 
Kellenor, you don’t have to look around very much to see that every person on earth has a kind of brokenness inside that makes us selfish and cruel at times, and makes life a constant conflict.

Catholics call this “original sin,” and G.K. Chesterton, a great writer who adopted paganism as his religion and later left it for the Church, once wrote that it was the one Christian doctrine was really obvious to everybody.

My question is, how do you deal with original sin? How do you explain why everyone is broken, and what do you think can put people back together again?

The Church teaches that the pride of the first two people led them to break from a perfect loving relationship with God and each other, and that it comes down to us in each generation, and the answer God has provided is His only Son, who choose to die so that He could pay our debt and welcome each of us personally back into a relationship with Him, through the Church He founded. Our Lord could have paid the whole debt with a single drop of blood, or even a tear, but He did the way He did to show us that He loves us more than anything and He doesn’t have to say He would do anything for us, He did it.

The Catholic Faith has the only satisfying answer to the problem of original sin. I’ll say a prayer for your discernment.
 
A lot of great suggestions here. I might also suggest that you spend some time in front of the Holy Eucharist.

Find a church that offers adoration. Spend some time there on a regular basis and ask God to help you with this.

🙂
 
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