Desperately need prayers

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I read your prayers every day. I cannot explain why it is so hard to post…Joe is still in intensive care and gave his son Jimmy (drug addict) a power of attorney to make all medical decisions. When Joe decided to move to Philly he needed my mom to sign the lease and needed me to sign for cable and electricity and phone. I cut off all utilities and got them out of my name (his son was staying there). Not from spite did I do this…I did it because I am hoping it will force him to live with someone when or if he is released from ICU. His brother told me today he (brother) did not think he would survive the hospital stay. I call the patient information line each morning and tell them I am sending flowers and ask for his room number. This is the only way I know if he is in ICU or has passed away. I can’t pay the rent on the apt in Philly and at this point don’t really care too much if they strike my (and mom’s) credit. Being removed from the stress has caused me to lose 25 lbs in a short time…but it has also freed up my stress level although at times I get so angry…at Joe for what he did to me and to my mom and sometimes at God for handing so much to me. I am not working but am putting applications in at the hospitals for the night shift in the ED…perhaps this will be my calling to be an LPN…I doubt I’ll ever find anything in law again…even though 30 years of my life has been in the legal field. I’ve had some horrible thoughts about joe because I am so angry and I just can’t let them go. I try to but they keep creeping back. I am in counseling and talking to the priest. Sometimes I only stay 10 minutes at mass…I cry and have to leave. If Joe passes away I imagine hiskids will “clean out” what is left in the apt even though it is jointly owned. I imagine they will “sell” his car and I don’t know what to do about all that since that is in PA and I am in Florida. My mom is doing bettr than in a long time…I think being able to visit dad’s grave and seeing her old friends has helped her a lot. I got a call “out of the blue” on my cell phone from a girl that worked with Joe (I don’t know how she got my number but I imagine on the “contact” info page)…She asked me how he was and said she had been seeing Joe several times a week for years and they emailed constantly…Now I’m wondering if I am the biggest idiot in the world and what in the world ever made him marry me in the first place. It sounded like they were having an affair but at this point I wouldn’t give her any information…It is just one more thing I thought would never happen. I was so angry after this I talked to the priest and said “Is this what a catholic marriage is?..” Boy am I ever lost…The job I really want to get is at the hospital and pays $10 to $13 an hour…please keep me in your prayers if it is God’s will for me to have this job. I am going to start volunteering at hospice once again. I did this for years but have to have a physical ($45 if I use their dr) that I don’t have yet…)… I remember when my dad died there were so many people in the hospice facility that had no one to stay with them. They died all alone and I cried and cried for months. I started volunteering to stay with the ones thathad no one with them and even though they couldn’t communicate…I would read the Bible or just talk and tell stories. It made me feel good and it made me feel worthy…Please keep us in your prayers. If anyone has any advice on what I could do to stop his kids from taking what’s left in the apt (including the car–I’m on title but it says Joe “or” Diane) please email me privately…I really need some prayers. God bless you always. I love you …always. Even though I do not post right now and pray for others like I should on the CAF…my private prayers are with everyone. I love you ALL. Diane
 
You will be in my prayers. It is normal to be angry with someone who betrays you. I was betrayed and found some solace in one of Fr Thomas Greene SJ’s books when discussing this feeling. He said " God said we had to love our enemies; He did not say we had to like them" There is difference, love is an act of the will, we do not have power over our feelings, but we do have the power over what we do with them
 
Oh Diane, you are in my prayers. My heart goes out to you.

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
I would suggest to you the book Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence, the secret of peace and happiness by St Claude de la Colombiere, SJ from TAN publishers Rockford Illinois. It is a spiritual classic and a small book, and easily readable, it has been a source of consolation to many in difficult and painful situations
 
Loving God,

We lift up these intentions today to your beloved son Jesus on behalf of our sister Diane, her mother, and Joe.

O Good Jesus:
Word of the eternal Father, convert me.
Son of Mary, take me as her child.
My Master, teach me.
Prince of peace, give me peace.
My Refuge, receive me.
My Shepherd, feed my soul.
Model of patience, comfort me.
Meek and humble of heart, help me to become like You.
My Redeemer, save me.
My God and my All, possess me.
The true Way, direct me.
Eternal Truth, instruct me.
Life of the saints, make me live in You.
My Support, strengthen me.
My Justice, justify me.
My Mediator with the Father, reconcile me.
Physician of my soul, heal me.
My Judge, pardon me.
My King, rule me.
My Sanctification, sanctify me.
Abyss of goodness, pardon me.
Living Bread of heaven, feed me.
Father of the prodigal, receive me.
Joy of my soul, be my only happiness.
My Helper, assist me.
Magnet of love, draw me.
My Protector, defend me.
My Hope, sustain me.
Object of my love, unite me to Yourself.
Fountain of life, refresh me.
My Divine Victim, atone for me.
My Last End, let me possess You.
My Glory, glorify me.

Thank you dear Lord Jesus for all your many blessings and please hear our petitions on behalf of our sister Diane and her family.

Amen.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
Thank you so much for your prayers. Each day I find myself drawing a little closer to God when I was so angry…I don’t know if I mentioned it before in past posts but even though Joe was a “cradle catholic” when he was working he was very materialistic. I asked him one time if he even listened at mass to what was said in the homily about material things but he shrugged me off saying something to the tune of “there you go again”…In any event when he was making money in his life he got the big house, the big 70" tv and a brand new Cadillac DTS. Even when he lost the house to foreclosure he managed to hold on to the tv and reaffirm the debt on his Cadillac. He took better care of that car than anything in his life. Now while he is in Intensive Care he has let his son Jimmy (drug addict) drive the car. I got a call from the ins. co about a “wreck” yesterday. Further information brought the fact that Jimmy totalled the car and hit another car (preliminarily his fault)…Joe does not know (I suspect) since he is in ICU…Jimmy is at “home” (33 yrs old and still lives with mama).I couldn’t find out if the other car occupants were injured but I am hoping and praying that they are ok…I took a chance yesterday and called the ICu unit to tell them about this and what kind of person they let Joe give a power of attorney to. The nurse wouldn’t take my call…I am still in Florida…wanting to go up to see Joe (part of me wants that out of my love for him) but they won’t let me see him…I called the brother to tell him about the complete loss of the car and his brother did not know anything about it…Please pray for Joe. It is hard (impossible) for me to say pray for Jimmy but that is what God says to do…pray for the enemies…I love you all …Diane
 
I think I am about ready to quit being Catholic. I’m disgusted with my life …disgusted with the fact that Joe has done what he has done to me (money wise) and disgusted that he has thrown me away like an old shoe. I have no job…no money to pay rent…no nothing…I did get a $600 bill for the utilities that Joe’s drug addict son ran up at the PA apt when he kept the air on 62 degrees and watched pay per veiw while joe was in the hospital. I’m angry at everything. and yes, angry with God too. I’ve done nothing but help others for 5 years and now this is my payback. The Church? Yes I talked to a priest did what he said and am just giving up. I’m not posting any more on the forum. Diane
 
Love and prayer always Diane.
I am sad for the evil these people have done to you.
Love, Trishie
 
Diane,Please don’t give up.I know life sometimes can be unfair,that sometimes it appears the devil is calling the shots,that everything seems to be falling apart(I have felt this way),but know that you are loved by your family here and by our Lord Jesus.There is a scripture in the book of Job where he makes a statement,not bragging just stating a fact.Job said "tho He slay me I will not curse God or give up Hope.I will continue to pray for you.Your brother in Christ,Rocky.
 
Rocky and Trishie. How can I not give up? I’ve lost everything and now my faith is slipping away. I hit dead ends for every single job. My mom lives with me. My dad died not a rich man but left her with over $100,000. Joe took mom and dad in and promised them he would always give them a home. Then he started taking $30,000 here, $3,000 there, etc. etc. etc…now mom has little left. When she ran down to nothing and I of course wasn’t working because I was taking care of Joe (and mom) he told us both to just get out and go to florida…so we did. The economy is no better here. I am now getting collection calls from Joe’s utilities , etc because they had to get hooked up in my name …my mom is on the lease up there…this means we will both probably file bankruptcy next year because I can’t and won’t pay for them. I had everything taken out of my name but am stuck with the bills that his drug addict son ran up while Joe was in the hospital. He took all the joint money out of our account and put it in his own account making his son the beneficiary. Then he told the hospital not to tell me anything when we was in ICU. Now that he is in a private room…I can call and JUST MAYBE he will talk to me for 2-3 minutes…Where is God when I need him the most. What is he going to lead me to next? I can’t possibly imagine anything worse happening unless I lose my mom…I’m at the point I don’t even want to live anymore (and yes I am in counseling and taking meds for stress)…So this is Life? or could it be that this is hell? and we do have something to look forward to?
I can’t possibly describe to you how alone, frightened, angry, rejected, and stupid I feel for believing our “catholic marriage” would be forever. I do love you guys though…and your care about me is uplifting. Diane
 
God has not abandoned us, because God is love. He loves the world he made, and he loves us, broken though we are.

Rest in the Lord.

God love you and I’m praying.
 
Dear Diane,

Please do not give up. Please know you have all of us here praying for you even when you are too tired to pray yourself. It is okay to be tired. And it is okay to doubt sometimes. And yes, sometimes it does get horribly worse before it gets better. But God will take care of you. It sounds trite, but you are not alone.

I will keep praying for you. I don`t post much these days but you are always in my prayers.

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
I haven’t posted in awhile. :o But make no mistake, I think of you and pray for you every day.
 
Gracious and loving Father, in the precious name of Jesus please give Diane HOPE and graciously provide for her many needs. Surround her with your holy angels and heal these deep, deep wounds.

Diane, I will continue to pray for you. Although you seem to be holding onto a thread please know that HE is able to abundantly do more than you could think or ask. Release the pain to Him and in His name forgive. This will release you and others. It only takes a tiny seed of faith. Don’t give up…

With my love in Christ for you,
mlz
 
Praying for you in your recent trials.
Please come back and know that God loves you…always.
My heart goes to you.
Hugs from your sister in Christ,
dtiggs
 
Dear Diane … You have all my prayers.
Even if you give up from CAF. you 'll still in our minds, hearts, and prayers. We, all, love you.
 
Loving God,

We pray for strength and courage for our sister Diane. She feels very alone now, maltreated, abused, and is carrying a very heavy cross including much resentment about her situation. Lord, please ease up on her and help her once again to feel the tender love and affection you have for her. The challenges and worries and anxieties of this life will all seem very small when we have our chance to live with You and to be with You, dear Lord. This promise is not enough to help our sister at the moment, so please grant her mercy, blessings, and send your consoling and comforting Holy Spirit to be with her. Help her to make ends meet, find work, and let go of the anxieties about her family life. Please grant the prayers of your people on behalf of our sister in accordance with your Holy and perfect will. Please help our sister, O Lord of compassion, unconditional love, and eternal salvation.

Amen.
 
jhash1 said:
Loving God,

We pray for strength and courage for our sister Diane. She feels very alone now, maltreated, abused, and is carrying a very heavy cross including much resentment about her situation. Lord, please ease up on her and help her once again to feel the tender love and affection you have for her. The challenges and worries and anxieties of this life will all seem very small when we have our chance to live with You and to be with You, dear Lord. This promise is not enough to help our sister at the moment, so please grant her mercy, blessings, and send your consoling and comforting Holy Spirit to be with her. Help her to make ends meet, find work, and let go of the anxieties about her family life. Please grant the prayers of your people on behalf of our sister in accordance with your Holy and perfect will. Please help our sister, O Lord of compassion, unconditional love, and eternal salvation.

Amen.
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Amen.
 
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