Desperation

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Robertanthony

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Everyone, I’m sure by now many people here know me and some of my issues. Life is tough for me, deep down I feel that I should not have been born. It doesn’t feel right to be alive. I don’t belong here. These mortifying thoughts are almost always exacerbated (made worse) by stressful situations. There is something going on at work, i’m under a lot of stress, expected to learn lots of new stuff quickly (I’m a dimwit with ADHD to put it bluntly), my very job is at stake if I don’t live up to expectations (the details aren’t important here), if i don’t qualify. It’s a temporary assignment. I don’t really like this job, but it beats any job I’ve had in my entire adult life (translation: I can’t afford to lose it). I’m so weary of begging God when it would have been so easy to equip me for greatness or adequacy. i understand God’s decree that I was gonna have a rough life, but can’t he relent, at least temporarily? I’m starting to have pretty intense thoughts that aren’t of God, that’s for sure. So please pray that I suffer a minor heart attack, that the temporary assignment be canceled (I can’t be too speciifc), or that I find the tree on which money grows (aka financial windfall that’d make the prospect of losing this job not so threatening, terrorizing and mortifying). In the back of my anxious and worried mind, this persistent thought that I’m one or two bad knock(s) away from total ruin and suicide. I’m scared right now. Thank you all.
 
“Be not afraid”, Have Faith. God is with you and has been with you all along.

May God bless you in all your endeavours and protect you from all anxiety.
I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our Saviour.

Take a deep breath and count to 50. You are going to be OK.

“Seek the Kingdom and all of this will be given to you”
‘All of this’ is what you need not what you might want.

He said so, it really works.

God bless you+
 
If you weren’t meant to be here, you wouldn’t have been delivered…either way.

Don’t use your ADHD as an excuse. I’ve known a few who were really quite bright. In fact, some people had misdiagnosed them since they seemed to ‘flit’ from one subject to another not realizing impatience with themselves, the instructor, or the subject, and some interrelated but the mind rapidly going to keyword assimilations that the perceiver was unaware of . Focus and discipline helped these in short intervals and gradual lengthening to a max attention span with breaks appropriately placed.

Be afraid. But just enough to keep the quality of your work up there. And rather than spend time worrying, if you know that it’s a temporary assignment, make sure you have references, have a good rapport built up with whomever’s in charge of assignments, and keep your eyes open for new ones.

Thoughts of suicide are not cool. Often, it’s not suicide they want but internalize ‘fault’…it is an outlet for frustration…not knowing of what else to do and having hostilities or sense of loss and helplessness no matter where they turn or a combination thereof. Know the nifty lil chart of mood swings and when you’re most vulnerable to that nastiness. Not at the apex, not at midline, not at bottom of the trough…the halfway 'tweens. Know this, so you recognize it, so you get over it!

And how is ‘everyone on here’ to know of your difficulties. I don’t. Ooh…almost like paranoid people…a certain almost arrogance? or thinking central to others’ attentions? But hey, like the old saying goes, “Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.” Sorry, it was a favorite of mine when there was an epidemic of paranoia then depression that hit our middle school.

Love you. God bless! Do well! You’re here for the duration…or too much of a coward to stick it out…how many people love you? I’m one.

Thoughts of suicide when there are how many people in the world you could be helping? But noooooooo, it’s about you? Refreshing breeze, or threatening wind?
 
St Jude, apostle and faithful servant of Jesus, intercede for Robertanthony in this time of need. I pray to you as an advocate for those most in need of God’s mercy. When situations are difficult & at times may even seem hopeless, you invite us to realize God’s Divine presence. Come to the assistance of all those who call on you in faith. In your name I praise Father, Son and Holy Spirit, with all the angels and saints, for God’s gifts of faith, hope, & love.
Lord, in every need let me come to You with humble trust saying, “Jesus, help me.”

In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations, Jesus, help me.

In hours of loneliness, weariness, and trials, Jesus, help me.

In the failure of my plans and hopes; in disappointments, troubles, and sorrows, Jesus, help me.

When others fail me and Your grace alone can assist me, help me.

When I throw myself on Your tender love as a father and savior, Jesus, help me.

When my heart is cast down by failure at seeing no good come from my efforts, Jesus, help me.

When I feel impatient and my cross irritates me, Jesus, help me.

When I am ill and my head and hands cannot work and I am lonely, Jesus, help me.

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls, and shortcomings of every kind, Jesus, help me and never forsake me.

Amen.
 
You claim to be a dimwit ! Sorry buddy stand aside, your not alone there,
A good proportion of people are dimwits and the seem to keep it together…
Myself , yep I’m a classic example of a dimwit, sacked from most jobs because I can’t work out computers,can’t follow instruction etc…can’t focus, but iv survived 59 years on Gods earth… And had some really tough times, but I never gave up, worked long hard hours doing work others wouldn’t do, saved money, didn’t drink or gamble it away, now we own this house and European river cruise in a couple weeks…
Don’t ever give up,
 
REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
Chin up. I’ll pray for you. By the way, I’m in search of that illusive tree too!
 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
None of God’s Children are ‘dim-wits’ as you have termed Robert; including yourself, and I mean this literally not figuratively nor any other way in an attempt to make you feel better about yourself. It is a fact.

Allow me to ask you a question Robert for you to ponder for yourself.

If Jesus appeared tomorrow here on Earth, what do you think would be the most important thing in your Life (upon seeing, hearing and communicating with Jesus)? Would it be the work for payment to cover your basic necessities and/or your Family’s necessities?

Or would it be the Commandments you have kept to the best of your ability, your praying for others, keeping God’s Sacraments regularly, along with the kindnesses and sacrifices made for others?

Pray The Holy Rosary twice a day asking Jesus and Our Lady Mary Mother of Jesus for His Divine Holy Loving Wisdom and Guidance for two things Robert.

(i) Ask Jesus if this position is where Jesus wants you to be now
(ii) Ask Jesus and Our Lady Mary for the 'most loving environment and position for you in your future
(iii) Ask Jesus and Mother Mary for your Callings and to provide your daily bread.

If its a new position (under 6 months) and you have a ‘passion’ for the work itself and know it is helping people the way in which you feel God wishes; give it a little more time praying for God’s Wisdom to flow through you with the assistance of Our Lady Mary Mother of Jesus (My beautiful Wise Holy Mother and best friend) ‘clicking’ every aspect into place of your work tasks for comprehension and success.

If it is a position that you do not enjoy and there is no passion whatsoever, too difficult and/or too stressful; look at some other positions while praying to Jesus and Mother.

I will PM you with some assistance asap Robert

Love and best wishes
 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A few of us all flapping about stressed out when we finally meet Jesus!

If you do not keep the Contract/job after praying to Jesus and Our Holy Mother; let it go without a worry Robert; another will come your way when and where God wishes to place you!

This is the reason I included that you ask for ‘your daily bread’ to be provided during The Holy Rosary.

Don’t forget to ‘hand over all of your Crosses in relation to your work’ over to Jesus and Our Lady Mary Mother of Jesus during The Holy Rosaries making it easier for Jesus and Mother Mary to intercede in your working Life;

“Ask and Ye shall receive” says Jesus.
 
pjesus said:
St Jude, apostle and faithful servant of Jesus, intercede for Robertanthony in this time of need. I pray to you as an advocate for those most in need of God’s mercy. When situations are difficult & at times may even seem hopeless, you invite us to realize God’s Divine presence. Come to the assistance of all those who call on you in faith. In your name I praise Father, Son and Holy Spirit, with all the angels and saints, for God’s gifts of faith, hope, & love.
Lord, in every need let me come to You with humble trust saying, “Jesus, help me.”

In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations, Jesus, help me.

In hours of loneliness, weariness, and trials, Jesus, help me.

In the failure of my plans and hopes; in disappointments, troubles, and sorrows, Jesus, help me.

When others fail me and Your grace alone can assist me, help me.

When I throw myself on Your tender love as a father and savior, Jesus, help me.

When my heart is cast down by failure at seeing no good come from my efforts, Jesus, help me.

When I feel impatient and my cross irritates me, Jesus, help me.

When I am ill and my head and hands cannot work and I am lonely, Jesus, help me.

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls, and shortcomings of every kind, Jesus, help me and never forsake me.

Amen.
Click to expand...
Amen
 
Thanks everyone, I appreciate it.
Abbigaelann said:
And how is ‘everyone on here’ to know of your difficulties. I don’t. Ooh…almost like paranoid people…a certain almost arrogance? or thinking central to others’ attentions? But hey, like the old saying goes, “Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.” Sorry, it was a favorite of mine when there was an epidemic of paranoia then depression that hit our middle school.

Love you. God bless! Do well! You’re here for the duration…or too much of a coward to stick it out…how many people love you? I’m one.

Thoughts of suicide when there are how many people in the world you could be helping? But noooooooo, it’s about you? Refreshing breeze, or threatening wind?
Click to expand...
“Everyone”, the very first word in my post was followed by a comma, then I said “many people”. But I am paranoid, there ain’t no denying that. A consistent track record of not living up to people’s expectations, of not being enough for people in general will do that to you.
Phil_Marinus said:
You claim to be a dimwit ! Sorry buddy stand aside, your not alone there,
A good proportion of people are dimwits and the seem to keep it together…
Myself , yep I’m a classic example of a dimwit, sacked from most jobs because I can’t work out computers,can’t follow instruction etc…can’t focus, but iv survived 59 years on Gods earth… And had some really tough times, but I never gave up, worked long hard hours doing work others wouldn’t do, saved money, didn’t drink or gamble it away, now we own this house and European river cruise in a couple weeks…
Don’t ever give up,
Click to expand...
I see I’m in good company. Glad you made it through thus far. The cruise sounds awesome. I think you know exactly what I am talking about.
HolyRosaryChild said:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
None of God’s Children are ‘dim-wits’ as you have termed Robert; including yourself, and I mean this literally not figuratively nor any other way in an attempt to make you feel better about yourself. It is a fact.

Allow me to ask you a question Robert for you to ponder for yourself.

If Jesus appeared tomorrow here on Earth, what do you think would be the most important thing in your Life (upon seeing, hearing and communicating with Jesus)? Would it be the work for payment to cover your basic necessities and/or your Family’s necessities?

Or would it be the Commandments you have kept to the best of your ability, your praying for others, keeping God’s Sacraments regularly, along with the kindnesses and sacrifices made for others?

Pray The Holy Rosary twice a day asking Jesus and Our Lady Mary Mother of Jesus for His Divine Holy Loving Wisdom and Guidance for two things Robert.

(i) Ask Jesus if this position is where Jesus wants you to be now
(ii) Ask Jesus and Our Lady Mary for the 'most loving environment and position for you in your future
(iii) Ask Jesus and Mother Mary for your Callings and to provide your daily bread.

If its a new position (under 6 months) and you have a ‘passion’ for the work itself and know it is helping people the way in which you feel God wishes; give it a little more time praying for God’s Wisdom to flow through you with the assistance of Our Lady Mary Mother of Jesus (My beautiful Wise Holy Mother and best friend) ‘clicking’ every aspect into place of your work tasks for comprehension and success.

If it is a position that you do not enjoy and there is no passion whatsoever, too difficult and/or too stressful; look at some other positions while praying to Jesus and Mother.

I will PM you with some assistance asap Robert

Love and best wishes
Click to expand...
Without wanting to be too specific, which is a drag because I can’t paint an accurate pic, I’ll say this much: there is something profoundly wrong with me, in truth it doesn’t matter if i have ADHD or not, auditory processing disorder or an IQ of 90, what I’m able (or not) to do is what counts. Professionally, I am a failure, my brain is too useless and slow for me to be able to be truly competent and knowledgeable about anything, I have the mental focus and learning capacity of Doris in Finding Nemo, that alone condemns one to the lower rungs of the job market. “Passion for work” is unknown to me, a job that pays reasonably well and that is not too demanding physically (to not be spent and have no energy left once the working day is done) and not too much of a drag is all I can shoot for. I’m not equipped for a successful life, I’d be happy to donate my brain postmortem and have it dissected next to the optimally-functioning brain of someone else. Lots of things apart from my brain puts me in the inferior an inadequate group. Going thru life without incurring too much emotional damage is the sole aim of my life. I understand it’s nigh impossible for someone who is competent and reasonably successful to understand what living with a crummy brain is like. You’d be astonished what kinds of crummy, minimal wage jobs I had before this one, not being a spring chicken either. Remember Everybody Wants to Rule the World? It says, “Welcome to your life, there’s no turning back”. I think for me it would have sounded more like: “Wel…, I mean, I’m sorry.” I mean, there couldn’t be winners if there weren’t losers like me. I’m a loser, can’t help it, that’s how I’m made, but losing this job will place me in an unbearable situation, hence my request for prayers. I’m used to encountering failure whenever i try something new, that’s who I am, but I can’t lose this job, i just can’t.
 
A Prayer to St. Jude

Most holy apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the Church honors and invokes you universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, of things almost despaired of.

Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Make use I implore you, of that particular privilege given to you, to bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of.

Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly for 'Robertanthony’, and that I may praise God with you and all the elect forever.

I promise, O blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, to always honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to you.

Amen.
 
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled unto thy protection,
implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided.

Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto thee,
O Virgin of virgins, my Mother;
to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.

O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.
 
pjesus said:
St Jude, apostle and faithful servant of Jesus, intercede for Robertanthony in this time of need. I pray to you as an advocate for those most in need of God’s mercy. When situations are difficult & at times may even seem hopeless, you invite us to realize God’s Divine presence. Come to the assistance of all those who call on you in faith. In your name I praise Father, Son and Holy Spirit, with all the angels and saints, for God’s gifts of faith, hope, & love.
Lord, in every need let me come to You with humble trust saying, “Jesus, help me.”

In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations, Jesus, help me.

In hours of loneliness, weariness, and trials, Jesus, help me.

In the failure of my plans and hopes; in disappointments, troubles, and sorrows, Jesus, help me.

When others fail me and Your grace alone can assist me, help me.

When I throw myself on Your tender love as a father and savior, Jesus, help me.

When my heart is cast down by failure at seeing no good come from my efforts, Jesus, help me.

When I feel impatient and my cross irritates me, Jesus, help me.

When I am ill and my head and hands cannot work and I am lonely, Jesus, help me.

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls, and shortcomings of every kind, Jesus, help me and never forsake me.

Amen.
Click to expand...
This prayer is perfect. Almost custom-made, actually.
 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
…because Jesus has opened up your Heart and Soul by His Will in undertaking other tasks for the rest of your Soul journey that is not the type of work you have been doing during your life Robert. I am at that stage on my Soul journey (and it took a couple of work contracts to figure this out through praying The Holy Rosaries Robert).

One long term contract earlier this year I secured that was worth a fantastic income; I had to withdraw commencement due to a Family Member dying and another relative needing assistance. I prayed for a supplement income to Jesus and Our Lady Mary; it was granted as on all other occasions when I was required to be in another place carrying out my Callings.

Have you done Healing through Jesus yet? This is another area whereby people are discontented in a work situation and past wanting to be in a work situation; it is Jesus ‘calling His Children’ to leave the work environment changing to the ‘location’ He is choosing for each of His Children for the betterment of their Souls here!

You are being called without a doubt; been there done that many times Robert. I am smiling at Jesus as I key this in! Pretend for one moment that you are Jesus or Our Holy Mother or one of your Guardians up there looking down at the Earthly frustrations of people stressing and worrying over work and incomes when each of us only has to 1. stop what we are doing, 2. Fully open up our Hearts to Jesus and Our Lady Mary Mother of Jesus by focussing on His Stations of the Cross acknowledging Jesus Passion and then 3. Asking Jesus for assistance and for His Divine Loving Wisdom and Guidance flowing through us and for ‘the right job’ and tasks He wishes us to undertake.

Love and best wishes; will PM later on today
 
Robertanthony said:
Thanks everyone, I appreciate it.

“Everyone”, the very first word in my post was followed by a comma, then I said “many people”. But I am paranoid, there ain’t no denying that. A consistent track record of not living up to people’s expectations, of not being enough for people in general will do that to you.

I see I’m in good company. Glad you made it through thus far. The cruise sounds awesome. I think you know exactly what I am talking about.

Without wanting to be too specific, which is a drag because I can’t paint an accurate pic, I’ll say this much: there is something profoundly wrong with me, in truth it doesn’t matter if i have ADHD or not, auditory processing disorder or an IQ of 90, what I’m able (or not) to do is what counts. Professionally, I am a failure, my brain is too useless and slow for me to be able to be truly competent and knowledgeable about anything, I have the mental focus and learning capacity of Doris in Finding Nemo, that alone condemns one to the lower rungs of the job market. “Passion for work” is unknown to me, a job that pays reasonably well and that is not too demanding physically (to not be spent and have no energy left once the working day is done) and not too much of a drag is all I can shoot for. I’m not equipped for a successful life, I’d be happy to donate my brain postmortem and have it dissected next to the optimally-functioning brain of someone else. Lots of things apart from my brain puts me in the inferior an inadequate group. Going thru life without incurring too much emotional damage is the sole aim of my life. I understand it’s nigh impossible for someone who is competent and reasonably successful to understand what living with a crummy brain is like. You’d be astonished what kinds of crummy, minimal wage jobs I had before this one, not being a spring chicken either. Remember Everybody Wants to Rule the World? It says, “Welcome to your life, there’s no turning back”. I think for me it would have sounded more like: “Wel…, I mean, I’m sorry.” I mean, there couldn’t be winners if there weren’t losers like me. I’m a loser, can’t help it, that’s how I’m made, but losing this job will place me in an unbearable situation, hence my request for prayers. I’m used to encountering failure whenever i try something new, that’s who I am, but I can’t lose this job, i just can’t.
Click to expand...
Well you’re very good at writing.

You write so well & so many more words than some of us.

Maybe proper humility isn’t about talking yourself down,its about focussing on the other, service, to God and those in need?
 
A Prayer to St. Jude

Most holy apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the Church honors and invokes you universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, of things almost despaired of.

Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Make use I implore you, of that particular privilege given to you, to bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of.

Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, ***particularly for ‘Robertanthony’, ***and that I may praise God with you and all the elect forever.

I promise, O blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, to always honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to you.

Amen.
 
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