Detachment... Holy Indifference

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From the LOTH
Nov 22, Office of Readings – Memorial for Cecilia, V & M

Ant. Surrender to God, and he will do everything for you.

Psalm 37

Commit your life to the Lord,
trust in him and he will act,
so that your justice breaks forth like the light,
your cause like the noon-day sun.

and later in morning prayer

Song of Songs 8:7

Deep waters cannot quench love,
nor floods sweep it away.
Were one to offer all he owns to purchase love,
he would be roundly mocked.

peace
 
A Friend of the Cross is one who is holy and set apart from the things that are visible, for his heart is raised above all that is transient and perishable, and his homeland is in heaven; he travels through this world like a visitor and a pilgrim, and, far from setting his heart on it, he looks on it with indifference and tramples it underfoot with contempt.

ewtn.com/library/Montfort/lfcross.htm#I.

peace
 
Be docile to the workings of the Holy Spirit…

“Be docile to the Holy Spirit”
Our Lord Jesus wants it: we have to follow him closely. There is no other way. This is the task of the Holy Spirit in each soul, in yours too. You have to be docile, so as not to put obstacles in the way of your God. (The Forge, 860)

June 05, 2000
Let us describe, at least in general, the way of life which will bring us to deal in a familiar manner with the Holy Spirit, and together with him, the Father and the Son. We can fix our attention on three fundamental points: docility, life of prayer, and union with the cross.

First of all docility, because it is the Holy Spirit who, with his inspirations, gives a supernatural tone to our thoughts, desires and actions. It is he who leads us to receive Christ’s teaching and to assimilate it in a profound way. It is he who gives us the light by which we perceive our personal calling and the strength to carry out all that God expects of us. If we are docile to the Holy Spirit, the image of Christ will be formed more and more fully in us, and we will be brought closer every day to God the Father. “For whoever are led by the Spirit of God, they are the children of God.”

If we let ourselves be guided by this life‑giving principle, who is the Holy Spirit in us, our spiritual vitality will grow. We will place ourselves in the hands of our Father God, with the same spontaneity and confidence with which a child abandons himself to his father’s care. Our Lord has said: “Unless you become like little children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” This is the old and well‑known “way of childhood,” which is not sentimentality or lack of human maturity. It is a supernatural maturity, which makes us realize more deeply the wonders of God’s love, while leading us to acknowledge our own smallness and identify our will fully with God’s will. (Christ is passing by, 135)

peace

opusdei.us/art.php?p=16897
 
So…docility, life of prayer, and union with the cross. A guide to detachment and Holy Indifference.

peace
 
What would be union with the cross? Rememberance of the sacrifice of our Lord?
Voluntary acceptance of suffering as it comes your way. For a great example, look at Bl. John Paul II.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
he showed us how to live, and how to die.

peace
Bl. John Paul united the message of St. Paul and St. John in his life.

“Be conformed to Christ crucified” and “Remain in his love.”

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
Be docile to the workings of the Holy Spirit…

“Be docile to the Holy Spirit”
Our Lord Jesus wants it: we have to follow him closely. There is no other way. This is the task of the Holy Spirit in each soul, in yours too. You have to be docile, so as not to put obstacles in the way of your God. (The Forge, 860)

June 05, 2000
Let us describe, at least in general, the way of life which will bring us to deal in a familiar manner with the Holy Spirit, and together with him, the Father and the Son. We can fix our attention on three fundamental points: docility, life of prayer, and union with the cross.

First of all docility, because it is the Holy Spirit who, with his inspirations, gives a supernatural tone to our thoughts, desires and actions. It is he who leads us to receive Christ’s teaching and to assimilate it in a profound way. It is he who gives us the light by which we perceive our personal calling and the strength to carry out all that God expects of us. If we are docile to the Holy Spirit, the image of Christ will be formed more and more fully in us, and we will be brought closer every day to God the Father. “For whoever are led by the Spirit of God, they are the children of God.”

If we let ourselves be guided by this life‑giving principle, who is the Holy Spirit in us, our spiritual vitality will grow. We will place ourselves in the hands of our Father God, with the same spontaneity and confidence with which a child abandons himself to his father’s care. Our Lord has said: “Unless you become like little children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” This is the old and well‑known “way of childhood,” which is not sentimentality or lack of human maturity. It is a supernatural maturity, which makes us realize more deeply the wonders of God’s love, while leading us to acknowledge our own smallness and identify our will fully with God’s will. (Christ is passing by, 135)

peace

opusdei.us/art.php?p=16897
A great book is "In the School of the Holy Spirit" by Fr. Jacques Philippe.

It is a small, short book, not expensive at all, but very powerful, on how to be docile to the Holy Spirit, how to recognize the promtings of the Holy Spirit, and even to foster His promptings - little nudges - in our lives.

-Tim-
 
In short, a perfect Friend of the Cross is a true Christ-bearer, or rather another Christ, so that he can truly say, “I live now not with my own life but with the life of Christ who lives in me.”

ewtn.com/library/Montfort/lfcross.htm#I

peace
Detachment or Holy Indifference indeed goes hand in hand with obedience. If one should be another Christ, he should willingly let go of things that will deter him from following God’s will.

I think it is safe to say that the vow of obedience by a religious is also, in a way, a vow of detachment. Sometimes a religious is sent on a mission in a moment’s notice. If he is in the middle of something, he should be able to drop it and obey his superior.
 
Detachment or Holy Indifference indeed goes hand in hand with obedience. If one should be another Christ, he should willingly let go of things that will deter him from following God’s will.

I think it is safe to say that the vow of obedience by a religious is also, in a way, a vow of detachment. Sometimes a religious is sent on a mission in a moment’s notice. If he is in the middle of something, he should be able to drop it and obey his superior.
For me, the hardest part of this kind of detachment is not so much being sent somewhere that I don’t want to go or that I was not expecting to go, though that has happened to me. I eventually get used to the new situation and life goes on.

The most difficult part is when I have an opinion on something and I know that I’m right. Either the superior or the community does not want my opinion or hears it and then proceeds to command what I know is going to be a disaster, either for me or for a project. That has happened to me too. You have to keep reminding yourself that your opinion only matters if the superior or the community say that it matters. I often have to keep repeating to myself, “Obedience is more important that what I opine.”

All of us have opinions. Whether it’s a religious superior, a boss on the job, a pastor at the parish, a bishop in the diocese, the government, the religious community, there is always going to be someone above us who is not interested in our opinion or who is not going to agree with it. At the end of the day, we have to yield.

Even with God . . . he does not always say “Yes,” to everything.

Often, God’s response is, “I’m listening, but I don’t agree.”

I remember something that happened to Mother Teresa along those lines. There was a project that she had in mind. I can’t recall which one of her many. Someone asked her how she was going to fund it. She responded that God would take care of it. The other person says, “What if God does not send the money?” To which she calmly answered, “Then it means that he was not very interested.”

Now, THAT’S detachment and holy indifference. Just to be able to say something like that so calmly and sleep well not knowing if God is very interested in our projects.

She is an incredible model of detachment and holy indifference. I often find it unfortunate that many people on these fora don’t show any interest in her. She has so much to teach, not only to religious and clergy, but to laity as well. Her entire life was one of total detachment from her wishes and those of others and total attachment to the will of God.

Another man who exemplifies this is the Bishop of Tulsa, OK, Bishop Edward J. Slattery. This man runs the best and the largest Catholic Charities agency in the USA. Almost everything is donated and he has about 1600 volunteers.

He has clinics, housing, education programs, pregnancy centers, immigration assistance, food banks, soup kitchens, rehab programs for addicts, adoption services, and vocational training for adults. He cares for about 50,000 poor people per year.

When you meet him, he’s the most simple, confident and happy person you ever saw. He goes around as if he were the wealthiest man in the world, when he has no clue where the next dollar is going to come from to serve the thousands of poor people whom he cares for. He tells you that the sky is the limit in charity and care. He radiates such confidence in God’s Providence that it’s awe inspiring. catholiccharitiestulsa.org/default.aspx#

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
For me, the hardest part of this kind of detachment is not so much being sent somewhere that I don’t want to go or that I was not expecting to go, though that has happened to me. I eventually get used to the new situation and life goes on.

The most difficult part is when I have an opinion on something and I know that I’m right. Either the superior or the community does not want my opinion or hears it and then proceeds to command what I know is going to be a disaster, either for me or for a project. That has happened to me too. You have to keep reminding yourself that your opinion only matters if the superior or the community say that it matters. I often have to keep repeating to myself, “Obedience is more important that what I opine.”

All of us have opinions. Whether it’s a religious superior, a boss on the job, a pastor at the parish, a bishop in the diocese, the government, the religious community, there is always going to be someone above us who is not interested in our opinion or who is not going to agree with it. At the end of the day, we have to yield.

Even with God . . . he does not always say “Yes,” to everything.

Often, God’s response is, "I’m listening, but I don’t agree."
*For me, I personaly find the hardest thing to detach from is saying “I told you so” when someone does not follow my advice and it turns out that they realize my advice was what should have been followed.

I had to add here that this line that I emphasized made me smile because it reminded me of a song I loved to sing when I was younger called Unanswered Prayers by a country singer by the name of Garth Brooks. The refrain is “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers. Remember when you’re talking to the Man upstairs, that just because He does not answer does not mean He does not care. Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” He goes on a little further in the song after he explains how he could start to see why God did not answer a particular prayer, " I guess the Lord knows what He is doing after all." I still sing these parts of this song sometimes to remind me of what you said here.*
I remember something that happened to Mother Teresa along those lines. There was a project that she had in mind. I can’t recall which one of her many. Someone asked her how she was going to fund it. She responded that God would take care of it. The other person says, “What if God does not send the money?” To which she calmly answered, “Then it means that he was not very interested.”

Now, THAT’S detachment and holy indifference. Just to be able to say something like that so calmly and sleep well not knowing if God is very interested in our projects.

She is an incredible model of detachment and holy indifference. I often find it unfortunate that many people on these fora don’t show any interest in her. She has so much to teach, not only to religious and clergy, but to laity as well. Her entire life was one of total detachment from her wishes and those of others and total attachment to the will of God.
*I have personally found Blessed Mother Teresa to be like a second spiritual mother to me ever since I was introduced to her through a couple of dear friends.
I have taken to praying a couple of her prayers that I thought I would share.

Dear Lord, the Great Healer, I kneel before You, since every perfect gift must come from You.
I pray, give skill to my hands, clear vision to my mind, kindness and meekness to my heart.
Give me singleness of purpose, strength to lift up a part of the burden of my suffering fellow men, and a true realization of the privilege that is all mine.
Take from my heart all guile and worldliness, that with the simple faith of a child, I might rely on You. Amen

2nd
Be with us Mary along the way.
Guide every step we take.
Lead us to Jesus, your loving Son.
Come with us Mary, come.*
Another man who exemplifies this is the Bishop of Tulsa, OK, Bishop Edward J. Slattery. This man runs the best and the largest Catholic Charities agency in the USA. Almost everything is donated and he has about 1600 volunteers.

He has clinics, housing, education programs, pregnancy centers, immigration assistance, food banks, soup kitchens, rehab programs for addicts, adoption services, and vocational training for adults. He cares for about 50,000 poor people per year.

When you meet him, he’s the most simple, confident and happy person you ever saw. He goes around as if he were the wealthiest man in the world, when he has no clue where the next dollar is going to come from to serve the thousands of poor people whom he cares for. He tells you that the sky is the limit in charity and care. He radiates such confidence in God’s Providence that it’s awe inspiring. catholiccharitiestulsa.org/default.aspx#

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
*Just reading about Him has inspired me and made me smile.
Thank you for sharing this.
*.
 
I think that fits in nicely with this thread. It is a wonderful observation.

Beatitude - the beatific vision - union with the Trinity. That is what the beatidues help us to achieve. Detachment, willingness to let go of anything which hinders union with the Trinity, and being comfortable with God’s plan for us (as Br. JR says), is part of the what the Beatitudes are about. The beatitudes are a series. One builds on the the other. It is a path to happiness, a path to beatitude, a path to the beatific vision, union with God.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.


Knowledge of who God is, and who we are in relation to God, that God is the creator of the universe and holds us in existence and that we are his creation, that we don’t even exist without God, and are nothing without God. That is the first step. Holy humility, knowing our place in creation relative to God.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they will be comforted.


When we come to the realization of who God really is and who we are in relation to God, we will mourn for how we have treated God. We will mourn our sins against the creator who holds us in existence.

Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the land.


Those who have humbled themselves, and who have mourned for their sins, become meek, not in the modern sense of the word - weaklings and victims - but pliable in God’s hands, docile to the promptings of the Holy Spirit in our daily activites, and teachable. When we mourn for our sins, we begin to be open to God’s purpose for our lives, and become teachable. This is very imporant, and where many people become derailed by pride.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be satisfied.


Once we are docile to the movements and promptings of the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit begins to work in our lives, we begin to hunger for it more. Like exercise, the more we do it, the more we enjoy it. We are taught what to do and we respond appropriately to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and God’s desire for us in little ways, and God says, “Well done good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in small matters. I will give you great responsiblity. Come, share your master’s joy.” We hunger for more, and it builds exponentially.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.


Christ said to the pharisees, “Go and learn the meaning of the words, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” We are taught, we hunger for righteousness, and we show mercy to others, as Christ shows to us. “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Christ teaches us, through the Holy 'Spirit, how to be merciful, how to forgive others, and then God’s forgiveness and mercy can enter our lives.

Blessed are the clean of heart,
for they will see God.


Sin is purged. St. Francis de Sales wrote beautifully of purgation of both sin, and more importantly, of the desire to sin. Purging the sin is not enough. When we no longer desire the sin, we are pure in heart. “I’d punch that guy in the nose if it wasn’t a sin!” That’s not mercy. Forgiving others, showing mercy to others, is an excellent means of purifying us of the desire to sin.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.


Those who show mercy and who are pure of heart, put all of their own desires aside - detach - for the sake of peace between men. Brother JR wrote in a post a while back about St. Anthony of Padua, who did not engage in arguments with heretics, but simply set up shop in another part of town and spoke about the truth, and in so doing, won back many of those whom the heretics had proselytized.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.


My Godfather was a pilot in Vietnam. He used to say, “You know you are over the target when you start taking flak” 👍

The beatitudes were radical when Christ said it. In many ways, the people who heard him were not ready to accept it and Christ almost backtracks, knowing that what he said sounded like a radical contradiction to the eye-for-an-eye mentality of the Mosaic law. He starts telling them that he did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill, etc, in order that they better understand what he is trying to say.

The Church’s teaching on happiness is sublime. Personal gratification is the lowest type of happiness. Then comes personal acomplishment. Then philanthropy. But real, lasting happiness is found in beatitide - union with God. The beatitudes are a path there, give to us by Christ.

-Tim-
*Tim
I believe this was beautifully put. It has given me more insight and meaning to the beatitudes. Thank you so much for sharing it. *
 
It occurred to me reading this most excellent thread on detachment, that the question I think foremost in the minds of average everyday sinner is: how do I get from here to there?

I certainly agree with everything Br.JR said about Francis and the two Teresas. But what do we do?

The Buddhists say that all human unhappiness comes from wanting. Wanting stuff, safety, recognition, respect, control. Wanting is all about yourself. Even if what you want is for no child to ever starve to death again, part of that is the acute discomfort of having more food than you need and knowing what some other person is suffering somewhere. If they didn’t suffer, this would taste better.

I dunno. It just occurred to me that the more we focus on other, instead of self, the less wanting and the more detachment might just naturally follow. Now that’s something even I can start to do in whatever small ways I see or that come my way. To focus on God in prayer instead of wanting my problems solved. To focus on the other person in a conversation instead of on what I think. To focus on need when I encounter it, instead of thinking only about my own business in the moments of life so I don’t even notice the need right in front of me.

That doesn’t sound too daunting.
 
It occurred to me reading this most excellent thread on detachment, that the question I think foremost in the minds of average everyday sinner is: how do I get from here to there?

I certainly agree with everything Br.JR said about Francis and the two Teresas. But what do we do?

The Buddhists say that all human unhappiness comes from wanting. Wanting stuff, safety, recognition, respect, control. Wanting is all about yourself. Even if what you want is for no child to ever starve to death again, part of that is the acute discomfort of having more food than you need and knowing what some other person is suffering somewhere. If they didn’t suffer, this would taste better.

I dunno. It just occurred to me that the more we focus on other, instead of self, the less wanting and the more detachment might just naturally follow. Now that’s something even I can start to do in whatever small ways I see or that come my way. To focus on God in prayer instead of wanting my problems solved. To focus on the other person in a conversation instead of on what I think. To focus on need when I encounter it, instead of thinking only about my own business in the moments of life so I don’t even notice the need right in front of me.

That doesn’t sound too daunting.
The Buddhist philosophy has shadows of the Truth in it. It says that the source of unhappiness is wanting. The key is what one wants. There are some things that we should want. The second problem is how one expresses those wants. There is an appropriate and an inappropriate way to do so. Next, there is accepting that one may not get what one wants. One can accept this with holy indifference or one can make an issue of it.

Let’s take an example from Taddom.

Traditionalists love and want the EF of the mass. This is certainly a good thing to want.

Some people express this desire in a calm manner. This is also good.

Others can’t express their desire for the EF of the mass without speaking against the OF of the mass. This is inappropriate, when the pope himself has stated that the two forms are equal expressions of the same Latin Rite. So what is happening here? This person wants something good, but is unable to let go of the negative reasons for wanting the good. There is an unknown struggle with detachment here.

In spiritual direction we would advise this person to continue to want the good and set aside (detach from) the negative. That detachment begins with how one expresses what one wants, expressing it candidly so as to be understood, but without the negative comments or the provocative comments.

Let’s move along. Let’s say you can now ask for the EF and silence your negative feelings about the OF. You’ve taken the first step in detachment, without giving up the desired good. You have detached from your need to make that little dig or to express your hostility or useless anger. There is an anger that is useful, such as that which protects an innocent from harm. There is an anger that is useless, that which does not achieve the desired good, but only provokes an hostile response.

The next step in the process is conquering that negative feeling. Up to this point, you have ceased making the comments, but you’re still thinking them. You have detached from the behavior, but not from the negativity, which is not going to get you the desired good. There is no reason to believe that an antagonistic view of the OF will guarantee getting the EF.

Now we have to work on detaching from those feelings that are useless. This is very challenging. To replace a negative, you must replace it with a positive. This is the next level of detachment. At this point we put ourselves in God’s merciful hands. We ask him to heal whatever is causing the pain, the anger, the hostility or whatever that negative feeling is. This is where we find great consolation in fasting, abstinence, the Holy Rosary, adoration, and recollection.

The point that we want to achieve is called holy indifference. In this case, it would be to desire the good, the EF, without the negativity. We become indifferent to our own negative opinions, because they are not useful to anyone, especially not to us. We continue to work for the desired good, the Ef, but we do so with inner silence. We no longer shudder, laugh, get angry or get flip when we have to deal with the OF or those who love the OF.

This process can be applied to any good that we desire. Buddhism is partly right. Wanting will make us unhappy, but only if we want the wrong thing. Wanting will make us unhappy, even when we want the right thing as long we seek what we want in a state of conflict with ourselves or with others.

Wanting a good and seeking it without the conflicts that we can avoid will make us happy. There is the difference between Buddhism and Christian Spirituality.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
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