Details in confession

[PaulfromIowa]

To the last poster: If you knew at the time that he was a priest, then, yes, you should mention that fact, because it bears on the seriousness of the sin. Don’t delay, get to confession.

 

[JD1789]

I have searched and searched the internet and I have not found anything close to an answer to my question.

I am ashamed to have commited not only the sin of fornication, but it was with a priest. While confessing, (obviously with another priest), must I mention that it was with a priest? Or can I say just fornication.

I am very, very ashamed of what I have done and I beg for God’s forgiveness.

Annie

I also suggest you get to confession with a holy priest as soon a son possible. Please remember that the love and mercy of Jesus Christ knows no bounds. One of the best confessors I have ever been to had a history of breaking his vow of celibacy with subsequent recovery. He allowed the mercy of Our Lord to take something bad and use it for good. Please remember the Lord still needs you for the Kingdom of God!

 

[AnnieNotOkay]

Thank you for your replies. I will go to confession tomorrow at first hour.

 

[joeybaggz]

As a confessor, I have been debating what to contribute to this thread since there are several points.

Please don’t go into extreme detail. It isn’t necessary and can be counter-productive. It can also border on the lurid, depending upon the subject. A confessor will instinctively hesitate to stop a penitent in mid-exposition as he is trying to piece together from the words being used what the penitent is confessing…however, there can be occasion when the priest actually would stop the penitent if the detail is gratuitous.

To name the sin, and to give a number if the sin is serious, approximating if there is doubt as to quantity, is what is needed…not detailed description. It can be daunting and even traumatic to the penitent and it’s immaterial to the confessor. It’s normative for a confessor, if he doesn’t understand, to discreetly ask for clarification.

One thing that was important to me on the journey was, when in confession, I found it a good idea to give the confessor an idea of my age and position in life. It helped the priest understand where “my head was at” and give good direction rather than just a ‘canned’ response. I found the counseling and observations of the confessor were more to the point of the guidance and direction I needed at that time.

I don’t know if Don Ruggero would agree, but I would think a priest hearing first confession from a seven year old who says he or she committed adultery would guide the child in a different manner than if he heard it from a 35 year old husband and father of four. Masturbation by a 38 year old spouse is a bit different than from a 15 year old teen. A bit of background might help your confessor give good guidance and advice. Just my observation.

Shalom

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I have searched and searched the internet and I have not found anything close to an answer to my question.

I am ashamed to have commited not only the sin of fornication, but it was with a priest. While confessing, (obviously with another priest), must I mention that it was with a priest? Or can I say just fornication.

I am very, very ashamed of what I have done and I beg for God’s forgiveness.

Annie

You would need to qualify it beyond “fornication”.

You could qualify it, for example, as “I had relations with a man [or carnal knowledge of a man] who has made a public lifetime vow of chastity,” if saying that would be easier than saying “priest.”

While he should not be making much inquiry, you should be prepared for the possibility that the confessor could/should be concerned that you are, in fact, a victim of sexual abuse or sexual assault, especially in the era of “safe environment” and concern for vulnerable populations. You might need to assure the confessor that the act was indeed consensual…presuming that it was truly consensual.

I assure you of my prayers, for your confession and as you heal from this.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

One thing that was important to me on the journey was, when in confession, I found it a good idea to give the confessor an idea of my age and position in life. It helped the priest understand where “my head was at” and give good direction rather than just a ‘canned’ response. I found the counseling and observations of the confessor were more to the point of the guidance and direction I needed at that time.

I don’t know if Don Ruggero would agree, but I would think a priest hearing first confession from a seven year old who says he or she committed adultery would guide the child in a different manner than if he heard it from a 35 year old husband and father of four. Masturbation by a 38 year old spouse is a bit different than from a 15 year old teen. A bit of background might help your confessor give good guidance and advice. Just my observation.

Shalom

Yes, your practice is a good one. An idea of age is sufficient.

At times, it is necessary. “I am a vowed Religious,” for example, explains why the person is confessing missing the recitation of the breviary.

Beyond the times it is necessary, it is often useful to the confessor.

As for your example, a confessor who hears in a first confession from a seven year old the sin of adultery suddenly has instantly one of the worst moments flash before his eyes that a confessor can face as he discerns if they child has misused a word they do not really understand.

 

[Vico]

Where does oral sex fall under? I think I’d rather say fornication.

From St. Thomas Aquinas, unnatural vice is: masturbation, beastiality, sodomy, and not observing natural manner of copulation (anal, oral, ect.).

See, Understanding Religious Ethics By Charles Mathewes, p. 100.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

See, Understanding Religious Ethics By Charles Mathewes, p. 100.

That aspect of the question was over 13 months ago.

What brought the thread out of its more than year-long dormancy was a decidedly different matter.

 

[Vico]

That aspect of the question was over 13 months ago.

What brought the thread out of its more than year-long dormancy was a decidedly different matter.

In this case it is fornication and sacrilege.

Catechism

2120 Sacrilege consists in profaning or treating unworthily the sacraments and other liturgical actions, as well as persons, things, or places consecrated to God. …