Determining if a job is a good fit

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egretps

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I may be offered a job. I have older children, and have been mostly a SAHM. My husbands profession/lifestyle has him away late into the evening a few nights a week. (I don’t expect this to change.) My new position would have me out until nearly 10pm several nights a week. My husband said we’d hire Uber to cart our young teens to their activities. (Not comfortable with this at all.)

The CAF is a community people who have the kindness and charity to give their opinions when asked, and I’m asking for your opinions and prayers.

He is all in favor of me taking this position.
  1. For the access to insurance and a way to pay for it. Lowest cost plan available to me is $1300/month 9K deductible through the job.
  2. The extra money, and for my return to something I loved doing. (Until I had children that is.)
For most of my children’s childhood I was with them. We didn’t homeschool because I and my H didn’t have '‘confidence’ in my abilities (I have a Master’s Degree). I was also living with a misdiagnosed medical condition for nearly a decade and was essentially unable to ‘work’. I’m not exaggerating, it was awful. I quit traveling for example. It had an impact on our marriage.

I often wondered what I would do with a couple of free hours a day to myself when I was working. I thought I would learn a new language or pursue more formal education or my creative pursuits. What I wouldn’t trade for anything is that the experience of being ‘sick all the time’ got me to read/study/learn my faith and increased my prayer. I am grateful for pursuing my Faith and I did my best to not complain.

And now that I finally got a proper diagnosis and my health stabilized, I’m fit to work. Our family life has improved.

Our healthcare right now is covered by a low cost “medical sharing” plan. And we’re almost exclusively ‘cash pay’. Not insurance. We agreed that we didn’t want to contribute to a ‘abortion industry’ or even a ‘contraceptive’ one that we would have to if we were buying insurance. We did this over two years ago.

So, if I go to work at essentially my ‘dream job’ I would be required to get insurance for my family and more than 1/2 of my salary would go to pay for it. (I realize this may or may not change with the new US Administration.) Additionally, added expenses, like the ‘new to me fuel efficient car’ my H announced he’d buy for me, and time I figure I’d clear about $500 a month if I don’t spend any of the rest. Maybe.

Although I’ve been missing my profession for over a decade, I wouldn’t have traded being a SAHM for anything.

Please don’t think I’m not appreciative of mothers who do work. My mom was one and it helped our family. My parents have a very comfortable retirement solely because of my mom’s career. And I’m grateful for that too. But, we kids weren’t ‘on our own’ for 18 or more hours a week at home.

So my head is spinning. I need some clarity and I am grateful for any prayers.
 
egretps said:
I may be offered a job. I have older children, and have been mostly a SAHM. My husbands profession/lifestyle has him away late into the evening a few nights a week. (I don’t expect this to change.) My new position would have me out until nearly 10pm several nights a week. My husband said we’d hire Uber to cart our young teens to their activities. (Not comfortable with this at all.)

The CAF is a community people who have the kindness and charity to give their opinions when asked, and I’m asking for your opinions and prayers.

He is all in favor of me taking this position.
  1. For the access to insurance and a way to pay for it. Lowest cost plan available to me is $1300/month 9K deductible through the job.
  2. The extra money, and for my return to something I loved doing. (Until I had children that is.)
For most of my children’s childhood I was with them. We didn’t homeschool because I and my H didn’t have '‘confidence’ in my abilities (I have a Master’s Degree). I was also living with a misdiagnosed medical condition for nearly a decade and was essentially unable to ‘work’. I’m not exaggerating, it was awful. I quit traveling for example. It had an impact on our marriage.

I often wondered what I would do with a couple of free hours a day to myself when I was working. I thought I would learn a new language or pursue more formal education or my creative pursuits. What I wouldn’t trade for anything is that the experience of being ‘sick all the time’ got me to read/study/learn my faith and increased my prayer. I am grateful for pursuing my Faith and I did my best to not complain.

And now that I finally got a proper diagnosis and my health stabilized, I’m fit to work. Our family life has improved.

Our healthcare right now is covered by a low cost “medical sharing” plan. And we’re almost exclusively ‘cash pay’. Not insurance. We agreed that we didn’t want to contribute to a ‘abortion industry’ or even a ‘contraceptive’ one that we would have to if we were buying insurance. We did this over two years ago.

So, if I go to work at essentially my ‘dream job’ I would be required to get insurance for my family and more than 1/2 of my salary would go to pay for it. (I realize this may or may not change with the new US Administration.) Additionally, added expenses, like the ‘new to me fuel efficient car’ my H announced he’d buy for me, and time I figure I’d clear about $500 a month if I don’t spend any of the rest. Maybe.

Although I’ve been missing my profession for over a decade, I wouldn’t have traded being a SAHM for anything.

Please don’t think I’m not appreciative of mothers who do work. My mom was one and it helped our family. My parents have a very comfortable retirement solely because of my mom’s career. And I’m grateful for that too. But, we kids weren’t ‘on our own’ for 18 or more hours a week at home.

So my head is spinning. I need some clarity and I am grateful for any prayers.
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  1. I didn’t like this when you mentioned you’d both be out in the evening, and I liked it even less when you said “Uber.” Uber is just some strange guy with a car. It’s just a step up from flagging down random passing cars and sticking your kids in.
cnet.com/news/uber-driver-rape-unconscious-teen/

Sit down and do a little google with your husband with the search terms “uber rape.”
  1. I am also concerned about the health-sharing thing and agree that it would be a very good idea to get back on real insurance, if that is at all feasible.
I suggest you talk to your pastor (or maybe post on CAF in moral theology) on the question of the propriety of paying an insurance company for coverage that covers abortion, etc. for other people.

I was just looking this up, and abortion coverage is actually rather uncommon for insurance. Here’s a writer complaining about that:

bustle.com/articles/92361-insurance-paid-for-my-abortion-and-my-story-is-way-too-rare

“Luckily, New York State, where I live, is one of the 19 states that still offer health insurance coverage of abortions.”
  1. I think your earnings would be worth it given the insurance–were it not for the evening thing, which I think is unacceptable. Somebody has to be parenting your teens. Kids that age need parental vigilance.
But, aside from the hours, don’t be deducting the cost of insurance from your earnings when weighing the pros and cons, because without your earning you wouldn’t have the insurance.

The Uber rides, on the other hand, are really going to add up–I suspect that your net earnings will wind up being in double-digits once the Uber rides for kids are deducted. You might want to do the math with your husband.
  1. I think I would keep looking for a job with more appropriate hours for you, even if it’s not in your old profession–at least for the next few years.
Best wishes!
 
Where I live, it’s common to hire babysitters and nannies to do activity shuffling in the afternoon and evening hours when both parents work. They are typically paid an hourly rate plus gas. At least then you’d have a consistent person and be able to run background checks etc.
 
What kind of job “requires” one to have full family coverage???
Most places offer coverage on the employee…and the employee can decide to pay the big fees to cover everyone else. Or, it’s part of a “benefits” packaged and not figured into the salary.

Of course, I work for a parish, so what do I know. :blush

But that sounds off. :
 
pensmama87 said:
Where I live, it’s common to hire babysitters and nannies to do activity shuffling in the afternoon and evening hours when both parents work. They are typically paid an hourly rate plus gas. At least then you’d have a consistent person and be able to run background checks etc.
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My kids are older, but this is still a great idea. An adult at home, maybe would be worth many times the actual cost. Thank you!
 
pianistclare said:
What kind of job “requires” one to have full family coverage???
Most places offer coverage on the employee…and the employee can decide to pay the big fees to cover everyone else. Or, it’s part of a “benefits” packaged and not figured into the salary.

Of course, I work for a parish, so what do I know. :blush

But that sounds off. :
Click to expand...
This is the main reason I would be returning to work. The benefits package. And it is now so expensive it’s overwhelming to me. I used to be the main breadwinner and that included ‘insurance’ when we were first married, while my husband has been finishing his education and became a self-employed person. If I am fortunate enough to be offered a full time position the insurance is taken out of our paychecks. They will cover my costs, but I have to pay for the dependants. That would be our kids and my husband.

I really like the medical sharing plan. We have been very healthy, outside of my chronic condition which has now been essentially resolved before we joined the medical sharing program. So we haven’t had to use it. We pay cash for doctors appointments/medicines. So, my husband and I have been interested in my return to the full-time work world in order to have reasonably priced insurance. It’s price is still a shock.

The benefits manager said it’s “One or All” meaning they’ll cover me only or I can get the coverage for me and pay for the rest of the family.

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. 🙂 This is helping me think this through.
 
This is the main reason I would be returning to work. The benefits package.
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You’ve given us limited information to go on here, but taking a new job to potentially earn an extra $500 per month and some medical benefits doesn’t seem reasonable to me. That’s profiting a little more than a $100 per week. Heck, you can sell homemade socks on E-Bay or Etsy and take home more money than $100/week while staying at home with the kids.

Call me old school, but really your husband should take care of the medical benefits if he is the main breadwinner. If “self employment” isn’t paying the bills, he needs to find a better job or career.

For the time that you are away from your young teenagers late in the evenings multiple times per week, I think the negative impact on the family for the extra money wouldn’t be worth it. Teenagers without parental supervision can wreak havoc in more ways than not.

When you are away from the home, more bills and chores accumulate. Cleaning the house. Car costs. New work clothes. More takeout dinners, etc. Paying for babysitters, house cleaners, etc. The extra money you make won’t stretch that far.

Unless there is some long-term huge “upside” to the job, I’d reconsider.
 
egretps said:
This is the main reason I would be returning to work. The benefits package. And it is now so expensive it’s overwhelming to me. I used to be the main breadwinner and that included ‘insurance’ when we were first married, while my husband has been finishing his education and became a self-employed person. If I am fortunate enough to be offered a full time position the insurance is taken out of our paychecks. They will cover my costs, but I have to pay for the dependants. That would be our kids and my husband.

I really like the medical sharing plan. We have been very healthy, outside of my chronic condition which has now been essentially resolved before we joined the medical sharing program. So we haven’t had to use it. We pay cash for doctors appointments/medicines. So, my husband and I have been interested in my return to the full-time work world in order to have reasonably priced insurance. It’s price is still a shock.

The benefits manager said it’s “One or All” meaning they’ll cover me only or I can get the coverage for me and pay for the rest of the family.

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. 🙂 This is helping me think this through.
Click to expand...
So they don’t require you to cover the whole family. I thought that sounded off.

The previous poster made some good points.
When you say young teens do you mean tweens?
I wouldn’t leave teens home alone for anything.
 
My husband has been providing for the health insurance since I stayed home to raise the children.

So I thought maybe if I went back to work I could get not only insurance but earn money to pay for it. Four years ago it was less than 600 dollars for the four of us. Today private insurance is 1700. Almost unbelievable. More than many peoples mortgage.

Our kids are 13 and 16. And I don’t feel comfortable leaving them home alone for more than an hour or so.

Really.

Good kids, but too many potential problems.

I missed my old career, and the intellectual challenges, but we’ve managed financially without my ‘lost income’ all this time. Even during the painful recession when our income dropped significantly.

I heartily agree that selling on Etsy or maybe even babysitting for neighbors could net us more than me working full-time. The only thing, no insurance.

Thank you everyone. I have some peace and some things to think about. God Bless you all for taking the time to respond!
 
egretps said:
My husband has been providing for the health insurance since I stayed home to raise the children.

So I thought maybe if I went back to work I could get not only insurance but earn money to pay for it. Four years ago it was less than 600 dollars for the four of us. Today private insurance is 1700. Almost unbelievable. More than many peoples mortgage.

Our kids are 13 and 16. And I don’t feel comfortable leaving them home alone for more than an hour or so.

Really.

Good kids, but too many potential problems.

I missed my old career, and the intellectual challenges, but we’ve managed financially without my ‘lost income’ all this time. Even during the painful recession when our income dropped significantly.

I heartily agree that selling on Etsy or maybe even babysitting for neighbors could net us more than me working full-time. The only thing, no insurance.

Thank you everyone. I have some peace and some things to think about. God Bless you all for taking the time to respond!
Click to expand...
What is your area of expertise?
Would you consider teaching?
 
Teaching? I’ve applied. It seems the district I live in has a hard time retaining teachers and I might be able to start ‘substitute’ teaching sooner than later. I just have to finish applying this week for perhaps next semester.

No benefits, just a paycheck but it wouldn’t include late evenings. Which makes me much more comfortable on the homefront.

I haven’t heard back from the ‘job’ so I’m assuming they found another candidate more to their liking.

So prayers are answered but not necessarily as a “Yes!”.

Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut, you’ve helped make my fairly lonely and stressful job search feel less burdensome.
 
egretps said:
Teaching? I’ve applied. It seems the district I live in has a hard time retaining teachers and I might be able to start ‘substitute’ teaching sooner than later. I just have to finish applying this week for perhaps next semester.

No benefits, just a paycheck but it wouldn’t include late evenings. Which makes me much more comfortable on the homefront.

I haven’t heard back from the ‘job’ so I’m assuming they found another candidate more to their liking.

So prayers are answered but not necessarily as a “Yes!”.

Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut, you’ve helped make my fairly lonely and stressful job search feel less burdensome.
Click to expand...
Praying for a good fit for your family.
Peace!
 
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