Detraction on the internet

[Veronica97]

I have a Facebook friend (a close relative whom I love) who is going through a divorce right now, and she is posting some pretty bad things about her soon to be ex-husband, as well as someone else involved whom I don’t know. How culpable am I for reading these things? Is it a mortal sin? They are things that can ruin this man’s reputation–yet he’s an ex-convict and headed back to jail again–so he’s not got the best reputation anyway. He is posting very bad things about her as well (that may or may not be true). I don’t really know the third party (whom my relative is naming). I don’t egg them on in any way. I just read what’s going on, and I feel sad for them and keep them both in my prayers. But I guess a part of me is kind of obsessed about reading what they post–out of curiosity and because of the drama. Is this a sin? Is this a mortal sin? I am thinking no but my judgement is not very clear these days. What if I repeat the information to my husband? Is that detraction? He already knows they have problems.

 

[ccmnxc]

You are not in a state of sin for reading about this argument. It’s up to you to decide whether or not it’s prudent, but I don’t believe you are sinning.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Well, just be the person who listens for now.

Don’t take a side either way, for you’re getting only one side of the story.

You’ll be the leaning post for this woman for a good while, even after the divorce.

Divorces are never tidy.

Jim

 

[Linusthe2nd]

I have a Facebook friend (a close relative whom I love) who is going through a divorce right now, and she is posting some pretty bad things about her soon to be ex-husband, as well as someone else involved whom I don’t know. How culpable am I for reading these things? Is it a mortal sin? They are things that can ruin this man’s reputation–yet he’s an ex-convict and headed back to jail again–so he’s not got the best reputation anyway. He is posting very bad things about her as well (that may or may not be true). I don’t really know the third party (whom my relative is naming). I don’t egg them on in any way. I just read what’s going on, and I feel sad for them and keep them both in my prayers. But I guess a part of me is kind of obsessed about reading what they post–out of curiosity and because of the drama. Is this a sin? Is this a mortal sin? I am thinking no but my judgement is not very clear these days. What if I repeat the information to my husband? Is that detraction? He already knows they have problems.

It really shouldn’t be done over the internet, since whatever you post is open to the whole world. If you have listened to her problems once or twice I would tell her I didn’t want to be a part of those types of conversations. Same for him. I think some sin is involved there, certainly that is not a charitable curiosity. I doubt that mortal sin is involved but definitely stop it.

 

[Bill_Martin]

Well, just be the person who listens for now.

Don’t take a side either way, for you’re getting only one side of the story.

You’ll be the leaning post for this woman for a good while, even after the divorce.

Divorces are never tidy.

Jim

Exactly this. She’ll need you.

 

[Veronica97]

*It really shouldn’t be done over the internet, since whatever you post is open to the whole world. If you have listened to her problems once or twice I would tell her I didn’t want to be a part of those types of conversations. Same for him. I think some sin is involved there, certainly that is not a charitable curiosity. I doubt that mortal sin is involved but definitely stop it.
*

Oh, I know it shouldn’t be posted on Facebook! She’s not posting it to me personally–just to the whole world! I’m reading it b/c it pops up on my home page. I will comment once in awhile, but only to give encouragement or to say something about relying on God. But I probably shouldn’t repeat it to my husband and I probably should stop purposely looking for the posts. Maybe I should even say privately that she might not want to post all of this stuff on the internet especially since he has two teenage daughters who might read it and be hurt.