Detraction

[funion987]

When talking with your peers about a person, it is ever a good idea to mention bad traits? The definition of detraction is “a lessening of reputation or esteem especially by envious, malicious, or petty criticism” (Merriam-Webster).

So, even if it is relevant in conversation, or you don’t mean the person any harm, those facts that you expose always, in theory, have the potential for being remembered by your colleagues and used to worsen his or her opinions about the relevant person.

So, my question is since all embarrassing or confidential truths have the potential to worsen a person’s reputation, should they ever be told?

 

[srferdave]

I think it should be told if it necessary - if it is important for the other party to know. Otherwise, it is just gossiping. And gossiping is a sin.

 

[promethius95945]

I think it should be told if it necessary - if it is important for the other party to know. Otherwise, it is just gossiping. And gossiping is a sin.

Yes, if there is a valid reason to share a bad trait, then it should be shared. If not, then it doesn’t need to be.

For example, there’s a guy that I know around here who has a habit of getting girls drunk out of their minds and then sleeping with them (technically rape where I’m from). He did this to one of my friends, but thus far I’ve been unable to convince her to go to the police about it. Another of my female friends was starting to hang out with him, so in the interest of her protection I informed her of the fact that he commonly does this to girls. It was in the best interest of her personal protection that she be aware of the situation she was getting herself into. The informing was private (not in front of others) and only to her. This would not qualify as detraction for those reasons.

 

[Sherry_G]

Consider if what you are about to say adds something of value to the discussion. If not, it’s detraction and a sin. I agree that keeping a friend safe from a dangerous person or situation is valid. I was guilty of detraction yesterday afternoon I now see! I will have to go to confession before receiving Our Lord on Saturday!