Devastated and losing trust in God

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Indiana_Girl

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My husband has been out of work for a couple of months now and even before that he had been waiting on a permanent job. He had an interview a while back for a job that would have been ideal, which he worked so hard for and felt really good about. Found out yesterday that he didn’t get it. 😦 Now we don’t know where to go or what to do. We have an emergency fund, but it seems like we’ll never be able to get ahead or live more than paycheck to paycheck. We’ve been praying for things to turn around for months now.

More than that, though, we have three kids and I’m 6 months pregnant with our fourth. We were so excited when we found out, but now I just don’t know what to do. We live practically on top of each other in a tiny little rental house with no privacy and no place for a new baby. And our middle child has autism, so he needs a fenced-in yard and his own space. We were hoping to buy our own home before the new baby, so that he can adjust first, but that doesn’t seem likely right now. Everything seems to keep going wrong, too. The house is so old and kind of run-down, the hot water heater barely works, the cars keep needing repairs, everyone keeps getting sick…it’s just one thing on top of the other. I just can’t take it anymore. My parents keep telling me that God will provide and everything, and I used to believe it. Now I’m not so sure. I feel like God doesn’t even see us anymore or care about our struggles and dreams. We can’t even seem to get any guidance from him on what to do. I don’t feel him and am so angry with him right now. I’ve been trying to be optimistic, but all I want to do is cry anymore. How can I teach my kids that God loves us and will take care of us if I’m losing my own trust in him?? I don’t know what to do; I’m at my breaking point. Please pray for me!
 
Indiana_Girl said:
My husband has been out of work for a couple of months now and even before that he had been waiting on a permanent job. He had an interview a while back for a job that would have been ideal, which he worked so hard for and felt really good about. Found out yesterday that he didn’t get it. 😦 Now we don’t know where to go or what to do. We have an emergency fund, but it seems like we’ll never be able to get ahead or live more than paycheck to paycheck. We’ve been praying for things to turn around for months now.

More than that, though, we have three kids and I’m 6 months pregnant with our fourth. We were so excited when we found out, but now I just don’t know what to do. We live practically on top of each other in a tiny little rental house with no privacy and no place for a new baby. And our middle child has autism, so he needs a fenced-in yard and his own space. We were hoping to buy our own home before the new baby, so that he can adjust first, but that doesn’t seem likely right now. Everything seems to keep going wrong, too. The house is so old and kind of run-down, the hot water heater barely works, the cars keep needing repairs, everyone keeps getting sick…it’s just one thing on top of the other. I just can’t take it anymore. My parents keep telling me that God will provide and everything, and I used to believe it. Now I’m not so sure. I feel like God doesn’t even see us anymore or care about our struggles and dreams. We can’t even seem to get any guidance from him on what to do. I don’t feel him and am so angry with him right now. I’ve been trying to be optimistic, but all I want to do is cry anymore. How can I teach my kids that God loves us and will take care of us if I’m losing my own trust in him?? I don’t know what to do; I’m at my breaking point. Please pray for me!
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Praying for you, your husband & your family. Praying to St. Joseph for your husband to find employment.
 
Praying for you. 🙂

Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
Praying for you.

And don’t be afraid to tell God what you’ve told us here.
 
I will keep you in my rosary intentions this afternoon. It is so hard to feel anything good when you are feeling so down. And sometimes people saying “Trust in God” seems so glib and not helpful. But just say it throughout the day, even if you are just saying it. It always makes me feel good just to speak His name. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

:signofcross:

Hail Mary, Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen.
 
I, too, will include your family in my prayers. But sometimes God tests us beyond our limits. My wife and I endured a few years of “testing” when it certainly appeared God was not paying attention.

He stretched us and opened us to new paths and ways. It was only after (a long time after) we said: “Thy will …nothing more …nothing less … nothing else” that He answered, and we saw that He had been with us all along the way.

I am not patient, but I think He is trying to teach me patience … I am struggling to learn.

May God bless you in your endeavors and may you find strength in your weaknes.
 
I’ve been in your shoes many, many times. Every single time I have prayed to St. Jude and I have always been answered. Our family receives the exact amount of money we need to carry on. Sometimes I think, as St. Therese said, Our Lord wishes to push us to see how far our confidence in Him goes. Therefore, I pray to Him fully expecting Him to take care of me. If we truly believe that:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life and what you will eat, or about your body and what you will wear.
For life is more than food and the body more than clothing…

Can any of you by worrying add a moment to your lifespan?

If even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest?
Notice how the flowers grow. They do not toil or spin. But I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass in the field that grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
As for you, do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not worry anymore.
All the nations of the world seek for these things, and your Father knows that you need them.
Instead, seek his kingdom, and these other things will be given you besides.
Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom."

Then we should sweetly remind Him of His promise! So take heart! Don’t lose confidence. God will provide for you. Mother Teresa, Mother Angelica and St. Clare are great examples in having complete confidence in God to take care of our needs. Read up on some of their stories- they are heartening. God will do no less for you.
 
Yes, I rather felt that way myself when expecting #4. Different circumstances, but similar feelings. I love Handel’s *Messiah *and kept the line “and gently lead those with young” in my mind. It certainly didn’t seem so at the time, but he has. Holding you in my prayers.
 
Lord, as you entered time and space and revealed yourself to the world, instill this same profound presence in the heart of Indiana Girl and her family. Embolden her heart and grant her and her family the eyes to see your presence both profoundly and even subtly in the lives of others. Grant them many graces for faith, hope, love, and joy. Guide them with loving and holy angels ever close to your Sacred Heart. Spare a foretaste of heavenly light amidst the darkness of this fallen, distorted world, and embolden their hearts and provide for them, just as was promised of the birds of the air (Matt. 6). Have mercy, Lord. Our Lady, angels, and saints, pray with us. Amen.
 
When all seems lost, be still and know that He is God. Nothing happens without His consent and everything that happens has a purpose even if we don’t see it right now.
 
I know what you are going thru, it is very tough and to keep having car repairs, and other expensive things come up month after month, trouble finding a good job, etc. and all thru this, you have been praying and asking God for help to no avail, I have this problem too, I cannot count the number of times I have knelt down and sincerely asked God to come into my life, into my heart, but NOTHING every happens, or changes, I continue to feel nothing…It does start to make me wonder, and for good reason, after all, we are taught to turn to God and we can rely on him, but then you hear stories of single mothers living on the street that are still waiting for God to help them (just an example here, but plenty of similar situations where this fits).

Another situation, which a friend brought up…there are many poor people living in deserts of Africa and other drought stricken areas, and they are TRULY living in poverty, barely have enough food to feed their newborn babies, yet if they just had a small amount of rain they could depend on, their lives would be a whole lot better, I mean, ALL they are asking for is a little rain…and they dont even get that!!! They are then forced to sit by and watch children die of hunger and disease, Im sure these people are also waiting on God.

but, WHERE IS GOD for people in such situations?

I wish the OP the best, but unfortunately that is all I can do.

I do wonder though, how long is she (and others in similar situations) supposed to wait and pray for help? What if they go another 10…20 years with nothing changing? What does that say about God?
 
The one thing in your situation that seems readily fixable is the water heater. You are a renter. You have the right to expect hot water when you turn on the tap–give your landlord a friendly daily call until he or she fixes it for you. It may be a very simple fix. Have a look at internet do-it-yourself sites for suggestions to helpfully provide the landlord with. Just be persistent and pleasant and you should eventually get action. If you don’t see progress within a couple of weeks, investigate your rights as a tenant in your area and hold your landlord’s feet to the fire.

You definitely want plenty of hot water for laundry for the new baby.

(Our final landlord left us with only intermittent heating between Thanksgiving 2012 and Christmas 2012, when we had a newborn in the house, but I kept calling, and they finally sent out a HVAC crew that understood what they were doing after several disappointing visits. One of the sweetest things about homeownership is not having to deal with the bagain-basement moonlighting repair people that our old landlod had doing maintenance.)
 
I just remembered last night before going to bed that a malfunctioning hot water heater is actually a huge health and safety issue.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legionnaires%27_disease

According to Wikipedia, Legionnaire’s Disease has a 5-30% fatality rate. Wikipedia says that the bacteria that cause Legionnaire’s Disease thrive between 77 degrees and 113 degree, while I was just looking at an OSHA website that said that it can multiply between 68 and 122 degrees, but temperatures between 90 and 105 degrees are ideal. That is pretty much exactly the temperature range that your malfunctioning water heater is probably maintaining–it’s absolutely ideal for causing bacteria to propagate. In order to kill that particular bacteria, you need a water heater that heats the water higher than that. (It’s not just water heaters–any warm, stagnant water can be a problem.)

There are some safety concerns with regard to scalding, but OSHA says that ideally, water should be 140 degrees in the water heater and 122 degrees when it comes from the tap. OSHA says not to go to the full 140 degrees if you have small children that you’re worried about the safety of, but it’s definitely something to keep in mind when setting the water heater thermostat.

osha.gov/dts/osta/otm/legionnaires/faq.html

The 1976 outbreak that led to the naming of Legionnaire’s Disease caused 182 people at a hotel to get sick and 29 of them died.

I would definitely share that information with the landlord’s office and perhaps tell them that you’re giving them 48 hours and within 48 hours, you’re going to start talking to all applicable local government offices–the health department (if they do that sort of thing) and whoever deals with landlord-tenant issues.

Best wishes!
 
CatholicRaven said:
Praying for you.

And don’t be afraid to tell God what you’ve told us here.
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👍 I agree. Tell God all your troubles and doubts and finish the prayer with ‘What are you trying to teach me. Please help me see your ways’

As for the kids, they only need to see you keep turning and praying and trying. It will have a more positive effect than God just giving you the money
 
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I definitely need them. Had a couple more incidents yesterday, but some good blessings as well, and I keep hearing songs and prayers that remind me to hold on to God’s promises. Hopefully he will come through for us soon! No matter how difficult things are, I still find myself holding tightly to even the smallest thread of hope from God. I know in my heart that I have nowhere else to turn if not to God. Where else could I put my trust?

The hardest thing, though, is seeing my husband struggle so much. He’s working so hard to find a good job and I know he feels like he can’t provide for his family, and that is really tough for me, too, because I don’t know how to help him. I do have a very tough time being patient and I hate when my mom always says that God is teaching me patience. :mad: I’m so over that lesson! 😛

Thank you again, just hearing from others has helped me tremendously.
 
mikekle said:
I know what you are going thru, it is very tough and to keep having car repairs, and other expensive things come up month after month, trouble finding a good job, etc. and all thru this, you have been praying and asking God for help to no avail, I have this problem too, I cannot count the number of times I have knelt down and sincerely asked God to come into my life, into my heart, but NOTHING every happens, or changes, I continue to feel nothing…It does start to make me wonder, and for good reason, after all, we are taught to turn to God and we can rely on him, but then you hear stories of single mothers living on the street that are still waiting for God to help them (just an example here, but plenty of similar situations where this fits).

Another situation, which a friend brought up…there are many poor people living in deserts of Africa and other drought stricken areas, and they are TRULY living in poverty, barely have enough food to feed their newborn babies, yet if they just had a small amount of rain they could depend on, their lives would be a whole lot better, I mean, ALL they are asking for is a little rain…and they dont even get that!!! They are then forced to sit by and watch children die of hunger and disease, Im sure these people are also waiting on God.

but, WHERE IS GOD for people in such situations?

I wish the OP the best, but unfortunately that is all I can do.

I do wonder though, how long is she (and others in similar situations) supposed to wait and pray for help? What if they go another 10…20 years with nothing changing? What does that say about God?
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It says that God does things in His own time, not in ours.

We human beings tend to want what we want, when we want it. (And I say, “we,” because I do it, too.) We tend to not know our own needs vs. our wants. We assume that it’s all about right now, and that this struggle (or even this life) will somehow last forever. If it takes us 10 or 20 years to learn what we need to know or do what we need to do? What is that compared to eternity?

We like to think we know better than God what would be best. We assume that suffering is always a bad thing and that it would be better if we were all just happy all of the time and never suffered here on earth–but then, how would we grow? Why would we bother to become better, stronger, more patient, more self-disciplined, or grow in any virtue?

We want to ask Him, “Why didn’t you DO something about this person’s suffering?” But what happens when He asks us the same thing? :eek: :o

We often forget that our goal is not to be happy in this life–it’s to get to Heaven and be happy in the next. We forget that we must “die to self” in order to live in Him. We forget that there is value in suffering and that there are always blessings and grace among the struggles. We forget that “this, too, shall pass.” We are not promised happiness on earth–life is a struggle, but we make the best of it. We are asked to have faith, to persevere, and we were not promised it would always be easy. But the reward is well worth it.

Sometimes in our suffering, there are no words that could truly comfort us. There is just being there, being present, understanding the suffering and being there for the person.

So, where is God? He is there, present with you, giving you the grace to persevere, holding you in His Arms, suffering with you, suffering on the Cross for you, being rejected, ignored, betrayed, beaten, spit upon, taking the punishment and the pain and still loving you through it all. He knows how you feel, because He has felt it, too. He truly understands, in a way that no one else ever could.

And please know that I am not trying to “preach” at you; I needed reminded of these things probably more than anyone on this board.
 
Indiana_Girl said:
The hardest thing, though, is seeing my husband struggle so much. He’s working so hard to find a good job and I know he feels like he can’t provide for his family, and that is really tough for me, too, because I don’t know how to help him.
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Just a few ideas:
Remind him often that you are proud of him (be specific when you can), that you appreciate his persistance, and that you know that someone will recognize his skill and talent and hire him, even if it takes some time to find the right position. Speak of the future as though you already know that things will work out fine.
Ask him to help you with problems sometimes so that he can still be your hero (for example, even if you can fix the toaster yourself, let him do it–think of it as giving him an opportunity to be your hero). And, as difficult as this might be, don’t do things for him that he can do himself, unless he asks–and even then, only do it if he really can’t. Simply say, “I’m sorry, I can’t. (Or, I won’t have time, etc.)” I say this because we wives tend to “mother” them (because we like to be pampered and cared for when we’re stressed) at those times when our husbands generally need us to “partner” with them (because they like to be reminded that they are strong and capable when they’re stressed).
Also, subtly remind him that he also provides for you in other ways–maybe he makes sure the cars are in good repair, or maintains the yard and house, or teaches and encourages the children, or helps you with the household chores when you are tired. Make it clear that you believe in him, that you know he is capable and that he’s doing a good job–and don’t let on that you are as worried as you really are, because he is likely worried enough for you both, and your worry will probably shake his confidence (more than it already is).
Oh, yeah, and let him know you still find him desirable–you don’t have to be sexually aggressive, just flirt with him, touch his arms, and give him “that sexy look” that he loves to see in your eyes. 👍
I do have a very tough time being patient and I hate when my mom always says that God is teaching me patience. :mad: I’m so over that lesson! 😛
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This made me smile! I once made the “mistake” of praying for patience. God gave me plenty of opportunities to practice it… because the best way to get better at something is, of course, to practice, right? 😃
 
Indiana_Girl said:
I do have a very tough time being patient and I hate when my mom always says that God is teaching me patience. :mad: I’m so over that lesson! 😛
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Heh, look at my sig, particularly the last sentence in the quote. :D:p

God bless! 🙂
 
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