Developing a relationship with Mary

[Flame4]

I see people have an amazing relationship with Mary, who aids them in their spiritual path to Christ. Now, I have always defended the Blessed Virgin however I have never had a prayer devotion to her. I think it must be pretty amazing because of how I see other people do it. She is my patron saint as well.

However I have never been able to do it. I never feel engaged in prayer when I make an intercession to her. I wonder if satan is trying to keep me away from a spiritual aid. Any advice on how I may start? I suppose I should ask Christ.

Thanks and God Bless

 

[cecilia97]

I see people have an amazing relationship with Mary, who aids them in their spiritual path to Christ. Now, I have always defended the Blessed Virgin however I have never had a prayer devotion to her. I think it must be pretty amazing because of how I see other people do it. She is my patron saint as well.

However I have never been able to do it. I never feel engaged in prayer when I make an intercession to her. I wonder if satan is trying to keep me away from a spiritual aid. Any advice on how I may start? I suppose I should ask Christ.

Thanks and God Bless

Hi Flame,

This may sound like a pat answer, but I would suggest that you not start with taking “feelings” as your guide. Feelings are so easily manipulated: by beautiful music, what kind of day you had, even how long ago your last good meal was! Go with what you know. And we know from scripture and tradition that Christ gave His Mother to the world and that she wants to lead us to Him.

So, “just” start praying and the feelings may follow. Even if they don’t, prayer is still a relationship with someone, because it is a conversation.

I lived 30 years as a Catholic without giving the Blessed Virgin much of a thought. Then, at a point when I was farthest from her Son, she pretty much came and found me. Like a good momma, she gave me a thump on the head and then was patient with me while I came around. I started praying the rosary. I had to teach myself the prayers again, since I’d forgotten them from childhood. It was not fun and did not seem enjoyable or profitable at first. But Mom got me, and the beauty of the grace given to her by God was so great that I couldn’t look away. She led me, gently and patiently, right back to the foot of the Cross where I needed to be, and she re-introduced me to her Son.

What I just typed is all true…I’m not fibbing or making it out to be more awesome than it was. But at the time, it didn’t FEEL all that great. I wasn’t knocked to my knees or anything. There was a lot of pain and confusion. I still have bad times and expect I always will. But now I have Jesus and His Blessed Mother in my life in a very real and full way. I know we are never alone and that God understands human weaknesses and human affections.

And yes, the enemy is SO afraid of Mary…above all because of her obedience. So, maybe just ask her to help you pray and get to know her. Tell her you are worried because you don’t “feel” anything about those prayers. Beautiful things can start happening when we follow her example and show obedience to God despite out feelings.

Mom will help you, whether you know it or not.

p.s…the Seven Sorrows are a good place to start, too.

 

[jtodisco]

I think that praying the rosary is the most direct way of entering into a deeper relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary. It is her favorite prayer and it is a wonderful way to meditate on the lives of Christ and Mary regularly. I know people are often intimidated by the rosary due to the length of time usually needed to pray it. Also, many people don’t understand that contemplation is essential to praying the rosary, so when they just kneel down and repeat Hail Mary after Hail Mary and Our Father after Our Father they get bored and discouraged. You need to focus on the particular mystery assigned to each decade (there’s a lot of literature out there, online and offline for people new to the rosary so I won’t go into a long description here).

Anyway, that would be my best advice though for developing a stronger relationship with the Mother of our Lord. You may not feel a connection immediately with her, but give it some time. Also, as the previous poster stated feelings are not the most important thing. Love is more of an act of will than it is a feeling. Though the feelings can be a wonderful gift from God as well.

May God assist you in your desire to grow closer to the Blessed Mother.

 

[Groundskeeper]

But Mom got me, and the beauty of the grace given to her by God was so great that I couldn’t look away. She led me, gently and patiently, right back to the foot of the Cross where I needed to be, and she re-introduced me to her Son.

Same here. After 8ish years away from the Church I started my journey back. Reading a book about Our Lady of Guadalupe changed A LOT for me. That’s when it all clicked and I realized that the Catholic Church is “the Church” and that we have a Mother who truly and dearly loves us…it’s hard to explain exactly how/what it was like at that time for me, but the bottom line is She did the same thing She did for Cecilia, led me back to Jesus.

Flame - the rosary is one way to start to develop a relationship with Our Blessed Mother. Another way is that whenever you pray to offer your prayers through the intercession of Mary. Sometimes I’ll pray along the lines of something like this: "Father, I ask for…in the name of Your Son, Our Savior Jesus, and through intercessions of Mother Mary/through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, etc.

Keep her in mind throughout the day too. Short, simple like prayers like “Mother pray for us” or “Mom, thank you for your love” etc, etc.

In Scott Hahn’s book *Signs of Life *he shares a morning offering that I’m starting to say every morning. I think it could be another way to start developing a relationship with Our Blessed Mother, plus it really is a beautiful prayer!

O Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary,
I offer you my prayers, works, joys, sufferings of this day,
in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world.
I offer them for all the intentions of your Sacred Heart:
the salvation of souls, the reparation for sin, the reunion of Christians;
and in particular for the intentions of the Holy Father this month.
Amen.

 

[cecilia97]

O Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary,
I offer you my prayers, works, joys, sufferings of this day,
in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world.
I offer them for all the intentions of your Sacred Heart:
the salvation of souls, the reparation for sin, the reunion of Christians;
and in particular for the intentions of the Holy Father this month.
Amen.

I try to say this daily, too. Wonderful practice that reminds us of our need to stay united with the Cross.

 

[coolduude]

Another thing you could do is pick up a Miraculous Medal. If there’s a Catholic shop by you, you can stop in there. If not, you can buy one online.

Also, another short prayer would be ‘Oh Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us, who have recourse to thee’. I say that whenever I take off or put on my MM

Whatever you end up doing, good luck doing it!

 

[City_Smurf]

As well as all of the excellent recommendations for regular praying of the rosary, I cannot stress enough that you should pick up Saint Louis de Montfort’s True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. The work is excellent for explaining a true devotion to Mary and her Son, Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. You simply will not beat de Montfort when it comes to Marian spirituality.

To further add to the recommendations of the rosary however, enrolling in the Confraternity of the Moly Holy Rosary, under the care of the black friars, is also a good step. Details can be found here.

 

[Wesley7]

There are certain prayers in the Orthodox prayer book addressed to Mary the Theotokos.

 

[Flame4]

Thanks everyone for your advice, I really appreciate it.

For one thing, I recently realized that Mary lead me to Christ in the first place. I was baptised as a child into a Catholic family, but I never had a real relationship with Christ until this one day. I was upset about something and while I was worried abou it (I was like 7, by the way) I saw one of my family’s rosaries on the table. I just had to pick it up. It sounds really corny and even fake, but that’s how my realtionship with Christ started. I just remembered that. So yes, I will pray the rosary.

I will also keep in mind feelings are not everything. I reached a level of prayer a few years ago where I did not feel anything while praying. I was told feelings aren’t everything by a priest.

I just forgot all this, thanks for reminding me.

God Bless.

 

[cecilia97]

Thanks everyone for your advice, I really appreciate it.

For one thing, I recently realized that Mary lead me to Christ in the first place. I was baptised as a child into a Catholic family, but I never had a real relationship with Christ until this one day. I was upset about something and while I was worried abou it (I was like 7, by the way) I saw one of my family’s rosaries on the table. I just had to pick it up. It sounds really corny and even fake, but that’s how my realtionship with Christ started. I just remembered that. So yes, I will pray the rosary.

I will also keep in mind feelings are not everything. I reached a level of prayer a few years ago where I did not feel anything while praying. I was told feelings aren’t everything by a priest.

I just forgot all this, thanks for reminding me.

God Bless.

Your priest was very wise.

“If my feelings offer their assistance, I accept it. It may be useful, but it is not necessary. A calm, profound love is much better than surface emotions. These last do not depend on me, and are never a sure standard…” Jean-Baptiste Chautard, The Soul of the Apostolate.