DH is such a wonderful man

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yessisan

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Yesterday, DH got a call from his Catholic uncle. I don’t know why, but he asked him if he’s yet been unfaithful to me. :mad: :confused: To his surprise, DH told him the reason he married me was to be with me because he loved me and that he believes marriage is a one woman - one man thing. He said to him that he chose me because he knew I believed marriage to be sacred and he wanted someone who would also be faithful to him. That marriage to him is a very serious matter and wasn’t to throw it away for some dumb adventure. That he married me for love and he was attracted to me in every way, and he will never see any other woman w/the eyes he sees me.

He went on telling him that he wanted to give me the family I never had. That he wanted to have kids with me and give them the stable home I never had. That he wanted me to be happy and feel safe at his side. That he didn’t want to hurt me or have me go thru the things my mom went thru w/my bio dad.

To his uncle’s surprise because he has been unfaithful to his wife. I think he was just looking for a justification and someone to agree that it’s ok to cheat. To his surprise, his 24 yr old nephew gave him a lesson to learn.

I wasn’t there when DH had this conversation w/his uncle, I was at Mass, but as soon as I got there, her told me all about it and how he left his uncle speechless.

I thank God for this man!!
 
That is great and I am praying that the next step is for your husband to come back to the one true church:)
 
Wow, your heart must have been filled with pride and love to hear your husband defend your marriage that way! 🙂
 
Praise be to God for husbands like yours…like ours. Mine is pretty great, as well.😉

I applaud all men AND women out there who walk the hard walk, to make their marriages special…and to keep the love alive. There are times, when marriage can be daunting…other days, it’s the most brightest star in the sky. (most days are that) But, for those days – and for all of you who walk that walk…and do it with holiness and sacrfice for the one you love…God bless you!:grouphug:
 
:extrahappy: :dancing: :clapping: Aren’t too many guys out there anymore who would’ve said what he did…you are definitely one of the lucky ones! Prayers that he will return to the Church…:signofcross:
 
Sorry for my stupidity. What does the abreviation “DH” mean?

Dear Husband
Divorced husband
Dead Head

I give! 🤷
😉
 
Y-

I guess I’ll be the one to rain on the parade. In this post you are talking about how “wonderful” your husband is, and how he wants to give you all these wonderful things and be there for you and protect you and cherish you.

But over on Liturgy & Sacraments you are talking about how he lied to you and now refuses to let you baptize any child you have as Catholic or raise them Catholic. You also indicate his derogatory comments about the Catholic faith, and in other posts you’ve talked numerous times about how he chooses his family over you, tries to convert you to JW, etc.

I think you compartmentalize in an effort to try to convince yourself he’s a great man and you have a great marriage. The facts, as I see them, are something entirely different.

I admire you for trying to stick it out in this marriage. It must be hard. I hope Retrouvaille has an impact on him and helps your marriage.
 
1ke said:
Y-

I guess I’ll be the one to rain on the parade. In this post you are talking about how “wonderful” your husband is, and how he wants to give you all these wonderful things and be there for you and protect you and cherish you.

But over on Liturgy & Sacraments you are talking about how he lied to you and now refuses to let you baptize any child you have as Catholic or raise them Catholic. You also indicate his derogatory comments about the Catholic faith, and in other posts you’ve talked numerous times about how he chooses his family over you, tries to convert you to JW, etc.

I think you compartmentalize in an effort to try to convince yourself he’s a great man and you have a great marriage. The facts, as I see them, are something entirely different.

I admire you for trying to stick it out in this marriage. It must be hard. I hope Retrouvaille has an impact on him and helps your marriage.
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I guess I must admit, I too was thinking of all the times yessian has posted about the not so good things going on in her marriage, I know it must be so difficult and she is trying to see the best in him and that is what you should do, but it is hard for the rest of us to understand when we have read all the “not so great” things your husband has also done to you. Of course we hope and pray that your husband will change but so many times you have shared all the very unpleasnat things that it almost seems odd, one day it is up the next down so on, I am not saying what your husband said isn’t wonderful… it is wonderful but you have shared so many not too wonderful things about him that we are very leary of him and worried about you.
 
kamz and 1ke, you both are correct, I have posted some not so nice things about DH. The fact that he defends his marriage has nothing to do with baptizing the children, even though it was part of the blessing. We are all human beings and he struggles just as any of us do. He has thought about his sisters before me, but that has been worked on at Retrouvaille, and it shows he’s trying his best. He did stay at home instead of go to that trip w/his sisters. He already confronted his sister, the one who hates me about treating me the way she does, otherwise, I wouldn’t have had her over at my house for diner 2 wks ago.

When I post here, I don’t post all the nice things about him, I post the bad things because I have no one to talk to, and of course I cannot run to my mom telling her how things are in my marriage.

Back to the children thing… when we married civilly, we talked about bringing them up in both religions, but then when I wanted to have our marriage blessed, I had to promise to raise them Catholic, which in fact is what I’ve been wanting all along. Now that I changed that in our vows he is a bit upset. But he seems to be more lenient. Yesterday, I went home all depressed because of what I read on this thread. I spent some of my evening crying. I didn’t really want to talk to DH about it, but he insisted many times and I ended up telling him how I was afraid to have children and how it would bring more problems to our relationship. He was so comforting. He asked “Is it about baptism them? Because if it is, don’t worry. We’ll have kids, and you’ll see how you won’t have to worry at all”. Then we hugged and he kept on saying that because we both want to have me be a SAHM, that I was the one who’d teach the kids about God, that because I was the one who followed a faith and abide by it’s laws, that what better way to do it that the Catholic way. He’s failing his faith, he’s not attending his meetings, he misses 1 every week on Fridays because we go to Retrouvaille, and Wednesdays he rather stay home with me. He’s only going on Sundays if he’s not too tired. He’s not preaching, he’s not giving bible studies. On the other hand, I attend a catechist institute, I teach catechism, I go to Church every Sunday, and go to confession regularly. He sees I’m not giving up my religion and that it’s a good thing after all.

I feel bad for coming here and only posting the bad things about DH. He’s loving, caring, and kind. He loves to help others when in need, he loves his parents and his sisters, he loves his nephews and nieces, he loves my parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings, and especially all my little cousins. Yes, he has his bad things, and yes, we’ve gone thru some tough times, but Retrouvaille is helping us deal with all the tough times. Even last Friday, one of the leader couples was telling us how amazed and proud they were to have a couple like us, fighting for our marriage despite of religious differences. They were impressed how we can still get along when some can’t do it both being Catholic. All marriages have ups and downs, and some do work, some don’t. But I do see mine succeeding. We’re not giving up.
 
And that is good and what your husband is doing right now is good but just don’t ever have blinders on, until he has totally left the JW church you will always have to be very careful.

We only want what is best for you and we are very worried about you.

You shouldn’t have to have permission to raise the kids Catholic and its more than just baptizing them Catholic… I know, I’m raising four Catholic kids right now and it is 24/7 and if my hubby ever under minded that we would indeed have had great troubles, kids don’t need that and kids don’t need mixed signals EVER and one of the things that my kids used to ask is “why doesn’t daddy come to church with us” and it can be hard for the parent who is not Catholic. My hubby took 14 yrs to decide to become Catholic and I Never pushed, I let him come to this all on his own because I don’t ever want him to say “well, you made me become Catholic” but my husband has NEVER undermined anything I have taught our kids about their Catholic faith and he has never said " I want them to come to my church too" that is not and never would be ok and it is very important that your hubby understand before you even become preggers that it is way more than just baptizing them Catholic… ask him this "do you agree that they will be 100% Catholic and they will Never go to the JW church unless they are over 18 and making that decision for themselves? If he says he can’t abide with that… you need to wait.

I have no doubt that your husband is a wonderful, kind, sincere man but my cousin just got married June 9th and her hubby is awesome, sweet, loving, caring but he is also an atheist… nobody is saying your husband is not totally wonderful but all the same his religion sends up huge red flags to most of us and until he totally leaves the JW church I would tread carefully.

Seriously, I only worry about you and your future kids going through a awful situation.

But in the end, it is up to you, you have my prayers.
 
That’s all great to hear! I pray that your marrige continues to strengthen and that your dh turns away from JW and embraces the truth in the Catholic Church.
 
One last thing I wanted to say… did I ever mention right before we married he told me he thought he would become Catholic? The bad thing is that he was shunned from his JW religion when they found out we were getting married. I think that scared him off.
 
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