Dh read my prayer journal

[whatevergirl]

And to be clear I have never kept secrets. My husband knows everything, he knows I would never keep anything from him. He also respects that my personal writings are private. I would never feel the need to hide my writings because I know he would never even think to read something that was personal unless I gave him express permission to do so. I have fallen asleep with a notebook on the bed and he has simply put it away for me.

I do not think to OP’s husband was malicious or didn’t trust her. I think his curiosty got the best of him. It was the poster that said no one in his house should assume that he would respect others privacy that disturbed me. I am not a child that needs to be checked up on. I am an adult woman, and I have the right to privacy in my own home.

I agree with this…and I think this thread has derailed a bit, in the sense that the OP keeps a PRAYER JOURNAL. She isn’t hiding emails or text messages, etc…she is keeping a prayer journal. I think that her spouse also just got a little curious, as I did when I read my husband’s prayer that he put into a prayer jar. It’s natural though for a spouse to feel a little uneasy, if his/her spouse tells them not to read something…it might make them feel like they are hiding something, but really, in this case–I just see it as curiousity, but it bothered the OP because her prayers to God are private. Again, do we all need to share every prayer and thought we have with our spouses? I think there wouldn’t be enough hours in the day to do that!

 

[ecp007]

You think? I mean it’s obvious, but shouldn’t one suppose if they leave a journal, say near the bed or what have you, that their right to privacy should automatically be respected?

If I left my jounal by my bed, I would be hoping that my husband would pick it up and read it. But, that’s just me. I like the idea of my husband wanting to get to know me better and to understand me.

If I didn’t want my husband to see something, I would either:

1. Tell him, please don’t read it.
2. Put a lock on it.
3. Hide it.

The OP didn’t do this. In light of that, I think that the husband did nothing wrong. Maybe after reading it, he realized it was more private than he had originally thought, and he fessed up and apologized.

In order to forgive someone, they should have done something wrong. I don’t know how you could think that your husband did anything wrong?

Regarding forgiveness, I think it goes back to what you said about being embarassed by what you wrote. So, no matter how much your husband apologizes, you are still embarassed, and still upset about that. But, if you are mature about it, you need to take responsibility for feeling embarassed, and not pawn it off on your poor husband. Which, after reading your last post, it looks like you have done. GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Another poster said something about your husband loosing your trust. I also don’t understand that. He is a trustworthy man. How do I know that? Because he told you he read it. If he was untrustworthy, he would have kept quiet, and periodically keep reading what you wrote.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

He is a trustworthy man. How do I know that? Because he told you he read it. If he was untrustworthy, he would have kept quiet, and periodically keep reading what you wrote.

Bingo! An untrustworthy man would have lied his face off, even if confronted after being caught red handed. But he apologized and felt obvious remorse…not because he did anything wrong but because he saw how his actions upset his wife. It is rare to find a person who will apologize for something like that! (it’s far easier, on the ego, to make up excuses or blame the other person for being “too sensitive”)

 

[maggie2]

I appreciate all of the good intentioned responses, so thank you once again.

However, I feel that this thread has lost focus a bit and I would now like to respectfully request that if anyone wishes to discuss prayer journals and privacy issues further, please start a new thread of your own.

I feel like this discussion has reached a point of making too many assumptions about me and my dh and I’m disappointed that this has turned into such a debate now. I don’t necessarily mind a debate about it as I have reached a conclusion for my issue, but when my dh and I keep being brought up, well, I just take a bit of offense as you all don’t even know me.

I originally posted with the intent of finding a gentle shoulder to lean on and some guidance with a forgiveness issue that I am struggling with. I apologize if that wasn’t clear in my original post.

Thanks again to all of you for your thoughtful (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[mark_a]

And I think you should. The man of the household ought to protect his family, even if it comes to not respecting privacy.

Thanks, I’m glad to know I’m not alone in the world.

Anyway, I like how some people immediately jumped from “I have the right” to “I go through everyone’s stuff all the time”.

Folks who think that likely live in a totally different world than I do. My stay-at-home-homeschooling-wife-and-mother knows that times are tough and that I’m not a control freak money waster.

 

[Ruthie]

I think we should honor the OP’s request to let this thread die. Whoever wants to continue can start a thread called “privacy issues.”

Ruthie