DH's Poker Buddies

[Kanda]

Dh and his friends get together about once a week for poker night. I think this is great. We agree that it is healthy for us each to get out of the house away from eachother and the kids. I really like that he has something that he enjoys.

So, he went to one of the guys’ houses for poker night last night since there isn’t any work today. Dh was offered a drink and he said that he doesn’t really drink because he has 3 kids and needs to set a good example. One of the guys made a joke about needing a drink because he has 3 kids.

Here is where I am angry - One of the guys gave dh a vasectomy info pamplet and told him to leave it where I would find it. Like it is really any of their business!!!

Of course dh told me about it right away this morning and of course has no intention what-so-ever about getting one. I really just needed to vent about it to people who understand about non using birth control.

Phew. Thanks. Feeling a little better.

 

[gam3rchic]

Glad you feel a bit better

My cousin, on her wedding day during the reception, some of the groom’s “friends” filled their limo with condoms…

Needless to say, they were a little peeved

 

[RascalJones]

Sounds like your husband knows what’s what, and is strong. I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m a 35 year old husband and father (25 days from 36), and I know that there isn’t anything any of my “buddies” could say or do to influence the way I live my life. Sounds like your husband is similar. Men joke about stupid stuff like that all the time. When people talk like that to me, I can laugh along and blow it off once it’s passed.

Really, unless your husband did what was suggested, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Men are men, and when there is a group of them doing stuff like a poker game or something, there is sure to be some crazy ideas, jokes, comments. Most of which are just the guys testing each other, pushing buttons, looking for a response. They never really expected him to do it.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[ltbpoe43]

Politely invite the guys over for poker at your place and leave them a pro-life pamphlet where they can read it.

God bless.

 

[Potato1]

Sounds like your husband knows what’s what, and is strong. I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m a 35 year old husband and father (25 days from 36), and I know that there isn’t anything any of my “buddies” could say or do to influence the way I live my life. Sounds like your husband is similar. Men joke about stupid stuff like that all the time. When people talk like that to me, I can laugh along and blow it off once it’s passed.

Really, unless your husband did what was suggested, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Men are men, and when there is a group of them doing stuff like a poker game or something, there is sure to be some crazy ideas, jokes, comments. Most of which are just the guys testing each other, pushing buttons, looking for a response. They never really expected him to do it.

Just my 2 cents.

I totally disagree with this post. What has happend to men, that we are to cowardly to stand up for good and expect our closest friiends to do the same. None of my friends would do this 1 becausae my friends have honor, 2 because I would NEVER stand for it. Maybe men have been feminized, trivialized and made to seem unessacary. Maybe men are confused in this metrosexual society. Holiness Honor and Truth. That is what I expect from my buddies, it is what I owe to my wife and daughters. Someday my daughters will pick a mate. I will be thier standard and compass.
How high school to just laugh it off because your need to be accepted or not seen as prude overrides your need to be Chist to the world. Selfish and sad.

 

[Potato1]

Whoa, calling this poster “selfish and sad” is going a little over the line in my opinion.

Sorry but I agree with him that sometimes “laughing it off” is the best way and it does not always mean that you just want to be accepted. Yes, we are all called to be Christ to the world, but we need to discern the best way to do so and sometimes gradually being a good example to sometone is the best way.

It is not always prudent to be in-your-face to someone about your faith, especially at a poker game with men drinking and joking. Better to be seen as someone with a good sense of humor who is loving and fun but also lives his faith. And since most Catholics see nothing wrong with birth control, I can see why non-Catholics might have this common misunderstanding and give someone a pamphlet on vascectomy.

You do have a lot of valid points and I very much respect your zeal for your faith. I just disagree with some of the harshness in your words to the other poster, and your opinion of the best way to handle this circumstance.

If I was too harsh I apologize, but truely it i sad to me how little people will just stand for decency. Again, maybe you misunderstand, I am not saying that we should be “in your face about our faith as you put it.” but I am in your face about decency honor and respect. You should be too. I HATE the good ole boy, boys will be boys attitude. n Are men expected to be nothing more than dumb goofy, joking buddies. Not one of my friends are like this, and yes we play poker, football, camp, shoot guns and wrestle around. We all love our kids, our wives and our freinds, so much so that we help eachother become better because that is what real pals are for. Only about 1/4 of them are Catholic, but all of them are people that I respect.
That men aren’t expected to behave honorably by thier buddies is sad. That we can’t help someone become better because of how everyone else around the poker table might think of us or ridicule us is selfish., It is not thinking about your buddies lives, faith honor but only about the fun time you are having. And not wanting to be a “wet blanket”
I shouldnt be so in thier face? What about thier anti kids, anti family attitudes in my face? Hypocrisy is a mark of the misled and weak.
Not to pull a bumpersticker but do you think Jesus would have set your way as an example for us with the 12 or with the “sinners” he would “hang with” No, he would correct and love them. We should at lest try to do the same.

 

[Potato1]

maybe next we can laugh off anti semetic, or racist jokes. None of those are as damaging as anti family comments.

 

[Kanda]

My dh didn’t say anything to these guys. He just kinda laughed it off and later threw away the pamplet.

Sadly, my dh is not a practicing Catholic. He does respect my wish not to use birth control though and my reasons behind it. I pray daily that he will come home to the Church.

The big reason why he won’t ever get a vasectomy - he was channel flipping one day and saw the procedure actually being performed on TLC. He said to me, "Do you know how big the needle is that they stick down there! And you’re awake for the whole thing!! " It was just too funny.

 

[RascalJones]

Sorry to all I offended. Sheesh.

I’m not saying I approve or disapprove of what others do. And, you don’t know anything about me and what I stand for or against.

Her husband’s friends, I am guessing, know the dynamics of their relationship. And they were just egging him on. I don’t think getting all self-righteous in their face would be the way to go. I think he handled himself pretty well. God knows what he did. I don’t believe we should judge him and his buddies. That’s not up to us. Not a single one of us were there. Not a single one of us knows EXACTLY what happened.

Just because I have friends that are idiots, doesn’t make me one too. Our friends are not what whe should strive to be like.

Just forget I said anything.

Ignore this post as well.

 

[CatholicSamurai]

Hehe… This is a classic example of men not knowing how to be authentic men. Your husband’s poker buds aren’t real men. They’re cowards in my book. Gosh, how we need the Theology of the Body so much. Anyway, glad your husband is solid.

Keep it up!

 

[CatholicSam]

Next time your DH goes to play poker, he can hand a copy of “Contraception, Why Not?” tape to the guy who handed him the vasectomy leaflet He can say “Well, I read over what you gave me, now it’s your turn to listen to my point of view”!

 

[Potato1]

Sorry to all I offended. Sheesh.

I’m not saying I approve or disapprove of what others do. And, you don’t know anything about me and what I stand for or against.

Her husband’s friends, I am guessing, know the dynamics of their relationship. And they were just egging him on. I don’t think getting all self-righteous in their face would be the way to go. I think he handled himself pretty well. God knows what he did. I don’t believe we should judge him and his buddies. That’s not up to us. Not a single one of us were there. Not a single one of us knows EXACTLY what happened.

Just because I have friends that are idiots, doesn’t make me one too. Our friends are not what whe should strive to be like.

Just forget I said anything.

Ignore this post as well.

If we are supposed to ignore it why did you post it? I assume you are just ticked off at my opinion and offended by my response.
That is your right. I am sorry your view of frends is different than mine. On the plus side you probably have more friends than me. I never said we should be like our friends but that we should help eachother be better.
fair or not a man is judged by the company he keeps. And if you surround yourself by people that don’t have your same values without speaking for your values then you would be a stronger man than I not to let thier idiocy as you put it not affect you and errode your values. My friends are men, Honorable, tough and awesome. They have faults but they respect me enough not to make inapropriate comments about family or my wife and I;s contraception. Maybe they aren’t so great as I see them but at least they are civil, decent and mature.

 

[mamacita]

Next time your DH goes to play poker, he can hand a copy of “Contraception, Why Not?” tape to the guy who handed him the vasectomy leaflet He can say “Well, I read over what you gave me, now it’s your turn to listen to my point of view”!

**

Or your DH (original poster) could bring over the CCL pamphlet on Vasectomies and the link to Prostate cancer! That would really open some eyes!!! **

 

[Kanda]

Thanks to the posters who recommended some come-back pamplets. I think it would be pretty funny to see some of the reactions. Too bad I wouldn’t get to see that - I get to stay home with the kids.

Maybe I’ll get some and save it for when it is dh’s turn to host.

 

[Jay2]

Here is where I am angry - One of the guys gave dh a vasectomy info pamplet and told him to leave it where I would find it. Like it is really any of their business!!!

Maybe “One of the Guys” is just jealous… with 3 kids your DH is obviously “getting some” and he’s not … or he just doesn’t really understand that kids can be the result of a healthy & meaningful sexual relationship between man & wife!

 

[whatevergirl]

Dh and his friends get together about once a week for poker night. I think this is great. We agree that it is healthy for us each to get out of the house away from eachother and the kids. I really like that he has something that he enjoys.

So, he went to one of the guys’ houses for poker night last night since there isn’t any work today. Dh was offered a drink and he said that he doesn’t really drink because he has 3 kids and needs to set a good example. One of the guys made a joke about needing a drink because he has 3 kids.

Here is where I am angry - One of the guys gave dh a vasectomy info pamplet and told him to leave it where I would find it. Like it is really any of their business!!!

Of course dh told me about it right away this morning and of course has no intention what-so-ever about getting one. I really just needed to vent about it to people who understand about non using birth control.

Phew. Thanks. Feeling a little better.

And…tell him to take the Catholic’s stance on birth control…in the form of a pamphlet…and give it to his buddies.
Sometimes, people just don’t understand…they don’t mean us harm…but they just don’t understand the harm that they are doing. I look at it as an opportunity to witness…and maybe your husband will look at it that way, next time, too.