Diaconate questions

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irishmac

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Hi everybody,

Recently, I have had a feeling, deep down, that I am being called into service. I feel like I need to help all the people of the community. I think I have been discerning a vocation as a Deacon. I know that the process is long and arduous, involving myself and my wife over several years of spiritual development. How long do I have to be married before I can enter the Diaconate? Does my wife have to be Catholic? Are there other requirements that I need to meet before I can begin the process?

Dominus vobsicum,
 
Glad I saw your post, cause I too have been having that feeling or nudge. It’s been there for awhile and I did speak to a deacon about it a few years back. Now I’m going to speak to my priest about it.

My issue right now is age, as I will be 30 on Sunday and you cannot be either ordained or begin the formation (cannot remember which) until 35. I was also told that your youngest child must be 10 years of age, but I haven’t seen that in writing as of yet.

Best bet is to speak to a priest, which is my next step. A good source of reference (there aren’t many books that I could find on discernment) is the USCCB National Director for the Life and Formation of the Permanent Deacon in the United States. It’s a long title for sure, but was helpful in getting me a better idea of the ministry.
 
First off, Happy Birthday. I hope it is a joyous event. I hope that your birthday is given its own special place amongst all the hub-bub of Christmas. My nephew was born on Dec. 20th and it seems like his birthday is tragically overlooked all the time. I try to make his birthday special too.

Thanks for your comment. I am just trying to figure out all I can about this. I recently got married and now I feel like Christ is drawing me into service. The only stumbling block I have is that my wife is Methodist by baptism, but she is inquiring about Catholicism in an RCIA program I help out with. I just want to know what are the rules and requirements before, or if, I can proceed into the diaconate.

I pray that the Lord lifts His face upon you and give you peace…
 
irishmac said:
Thanks for your comment. I am just trying to figure out all I can about this. I recently got married and now I feel like Christ is drawing me into service. The only stumbling block I have is that my wife is Methodist by baptism, but she is inquiring about Catholicism in an RCIA program I help out with. I just want to know what are the rules and requirements before, or if, I can proceed into the diaconate.
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I would say that the first stumbling block is that you just got married. The diaconate is a new marriage and you need to prove stability and experience through the first one. You will also need your wife approval to the candidacy and ordination. You must also be aware that once ordained you take vows of chastity in the event that your spouse will die.
 
Thank you very much for your contribution. From what I understand from your comment is that I will need to prove stability in marriage prior to entering the diaconate. Do you know the length or judging criterion I need to prove to them my vocational stability in marriage? I am aware that my wife will need to participate in this vocation along my side. I assure you, I have her love and support on this matter. I am also aware that I will be required to take the vows of chastity and celibacy in the event of her death and that I will enter the priesthood in such event should take place. I am prepared for that as well.

Dominus vobsicum…
 
Not sure about what faith your wife is, but I don’t believe that will completely hinder your process. However, the diaconate formation heavily involves the wife so she knows what the two of you are getting into.

Like I said before though, speak to a priest you know and trust. They will know your personality, character, etc. and can help you discern if it is a true calling or something else.

My largest fear is that I’m not being called and it’s more of me wanting to become a deacon. Hence, the need to discern entry into the ministry first.

I’ll keep you in my prayers as you begin the process. From one Irishman to another, God Bless.
 
irishmac said:
Thank you very much for your contribution. From what I understand from your comment is that I will need to prove stability in marriage prior to entering the diaconate. Do you know the length or judging criterion I need to prove to them my vocational stability in marriage? I am aware that my wife will need to participate in this vocation along my side. I assure you, I have her love and support on this matter. I am also aware that I will be required to take the vows of chastity and celibacy in the event of her death and that I will enter the priesthood in such event should take place. I am prepared for that as well.

Dominus vobsicum…
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You are not expected to enter the priesthood if you become a widow. The diaconate is a different vocation respect to the priesthood. Usually permanent deacons are not looked with favor if they say that they plan to enter the priesthood.

I understand that stability in marriage is defined at least but not only by how long you have been married. My understanding is that yo must have been married at least 5 or 7 years and you do not have young children. This is done make sure that you will respect the priorities that a deacon should have: family first, job second, serving as deacon third.

Given that you just got married and that you are open to having children I guess that you will have to wait a bit before formation. However, that should not stop from doing a lot of the work that a deacon does in his life.
 
tmeier45 said:
My largest fear is that I’m not being called and it’s more of me wanting to become a deacon. Hence, the need to discern entry into the ministry first.
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As my mentor (a deacon) says if you thought of it that means that you have already been called. Now it is up to you!
 
This link may help you. I went to an orientation for the diaconate program In August. The church requires that you are marrid for 5 years and you have been a Catholic for 5 years. The age thing is that you turn 35 when you finish the program. So if you are 30 now and you enroll in the next program you will be eligable. The wife being catholic thing I am not sure. I would think the church would require that since you are married and you will be ordained in the church. I will be amazed if they say different.usccb.org/deacon/faqs.shtml
 
The wives make a sacrifice having to attend the lectures. I just dont see the point of her going to the lectures if not being a member of the church already. Just my opinion. Check with the diaconate coordinator for your diocese.
 
PBP said:
The wives make a sacrifice having to attend the lectures. I just dont see the point of her going to the lectures if not being a member of the church already. Just my opinion. Check with the diaconate coordinator for your diocese.
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Not all dioceses require the wives to attend the classes with her husband.
 
Not all diocese require the wife to be Catholic… But all require that she supports her husband.

I’m 46 and have returned…long story…but wife converted this past year. I’ve always felt the call…I went to the seminary…shocked at really bad examples…ran like the wind. Decided to go back, but met my now wife, youngest of 8 to a church of Christ elder/bishop with 2 brothers preaching. I’ve been told to get involved, EMHC, Usher, etc. I do…wife teaches CCD…I sub CCD and preparing to help out to teach an adult CCD class next fall. In a nut shell get really involved now.

You need to be stable. Frankly, you may feel called, but in order to be given permission to persuit it you must be stable. I’ve been married for 18 years…divorce is not in our vocabulary… I have a dream relationship actually that most would envy. Our children are 13, 6 and 2. By the time I get to start the next formation the youngest will be 5 and by the time of ordination she’d be 10 at the earliest from what I see time wise. There is a maximum age to which is really strange to make us wait so long and give such a young age of 55 or even 60 these days with people living so old. I’m planning on getting a theology degree via distance from FU…was waiting for our Diocesan Faith Formation Director to get the Ave Maria program back in our diocese for us, but doesn’t look like it will happen soon enough… Lord willing I’d like to drop civil engineering as a career and get into Faith Formation full-time with pay or just volonteer with retirement…
going to adoration… something else you should do.

Get the 4 volume set of the Liturgy of the Hourse or the 1 vol Christian Prayer and begin immediately. Feel called? This this will help you every step of the way. oh and my oldes is considering the priesthood like his dad and grandfather… This time he’s considering the Franciscans.
 
vocatio said:
Not all diocese require the wife to be Catholic… But all require that she supports her husband.

I’m 46 and have returned…long story…but wife converted this past year. I’ve always felt the call…I went to the seminary…shocked at really bad examples…ran like the wind. Decided to go back, but met my now wife, youngest of 8 to a church of Christ elder/bishop with 2 brothers preaching. I’ve been told to get involved, EMHC, Usher, etc. I do…wife teaches CCD…I sub CCD and preparing to help out to teach an adult CCD class next fall. In a nut shell get really involved now.

You need to be stable. Frankly, you may feel called, but in order to be given permission to persuit it you must be stable. I’ve been married for 18 years…divorce is not in our vocabulary… I have a dream relationship actually that most would envy. Our children are 13, 6 and 2. By the time I get to start the next formation the youngest will be 5 and by the time of ordination she’d be 10 at the earliest from what I see time wise. There is a maximum age to which is really strange to make us wait so long and give such a young age of 55 or even 60 these days with people living so old. I’m planning on getting a theology degree via distance from FU…was waiting for our Diocesan Faith Formation Director to get the Ave Maria program back in our diocese for us, but doesn’t look like it will happen soon enough… Lord willing I’d like to drop civil engineering as a career and get into Faith Formation full-time with pay or just volonteer with retirement…
going to adoration… something else you should do.

Get the 4 volume set of the Liturgy of the Hourse or the 1 vol Christian Prayer and begin immediately. Feel called? This this will help you every step of the way. oh and my oldes is considering the priesthood like his dad and grandfather… This time he’s considering the Franciscans.
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Thank you for your Faith and testomony. You are an ispiration to me and my new wife - 8 months married and both in the Church.
:blessyou:
 
Thank you Marty…just trying to be helpful since I’m digging deep into this issue…always looking to tell at least part of my story to help derail doubt in others. I wouldn’t be here if we didn’t truly believe.

PAX
 
in addition to what others have said, deacon candidates in our program must already be active in some time of parish ministry, so you could begin answering the call to serve right now, without waiting for formal acceptance into this program. my prejudice of course is that teaching CCD, confirmation class or RCIA is the best preparation.
 
puzzleannie said:
in addition to what others have said, deacon candidates in our program must already be active in some time of parish ministry, so you could begin answering the call to serve right now, without waiting for formal acceptance into this program. my prejudice of course is that teaching CCD, confirmation class or RCIA is the best preparation.
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Also a potential deacon should also become a lector. That will give him the confidence to serve at the altar and to read the Gospel. All deacon candidates in our diocese are asked to become lectors (actually in their second year they are installed as lectors).
 
Lector…very true. Used to do that as needed and as a seminarian…but with training young ones to sit through mass it’s been a bit difficult volunteering for that one. I’m alrady an EMCH. I’m also working towards being a sacristan now that I’m a Mass Captain that hasn’t been called on yet. Thankfully not yet since my wife has not been doing well…inner ear issues and we end up using the nursery when I serve. I love serving when my son is an altar server. I’m comfortable with reading in public…but a new phoenomina with age is needing reading glasses I’m comfortable wearing.

I learned yesterday that FU will be good. Oh…check with your diocese to see if your’s is like Fort Worth Diocese…we are either required to hold a degree in theology or go throught the 3 year program “Light of Christ” a lay non-college series that both spouse and candidate attend. My wife and I are planning to take it anyway…we miss the RCIA program we went together. It was very special. Felt like dating.
 
One last thing to close this year out…don’t talk to a priest…talk to a deacon… They are treated like completely separate vocations even thought they are really closely related. That’s the scoop from a deacon I talked to tonight.
 
irishmac said:
Hi everybody,

Recently, I have had a feeling, deep down, that I am being called into service. I feel like I need to help all the people of the community. I think I have been discerning a vocation as a Deacon. I know that the process is long and arduous, involving myself and my wife over several years of spiritual development. How long do I have to be married before I can enter the Diaconate? Does my wife have to be Catholic? Are there other requirements that I need to meet before I can begin the process?

Dominus vobsicum,
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I will be honest. The Diconate have always been for unmarried men, until quite recently. The married life is in itself a challenging vocation. It is my belief that married Deacons harm Priestly vocations, as it is a step towards the Priesthood. There are many other great ways for a husband to help his Church.
 
iviking,
What dark place did you pull that out from? The permanent diaconate was part of the ancient church. disolving the permanent diaconate led to clericalism and marginalizing lay people. The Eastern Church never lost the permanent diaconate. They maintained it all along. As far as threatening priestly vocations…not true. The problem with vocations to the priesthood and the religious life involve many things… The first problem is with Catholics not leading their chiildren to the “water of vocations”. You can bring a horse to water but you can’t make em drink… Well how do you expect a horse to be able to drink water unless you provide it for them… No the problem is really with the domestic church. Parents are doing their best not to have as many children justified by excuses of expenses. No it’s selfishness. We want luxery…aristocratic life styles of the rich and famous…remember the 80’s …blah, blah…still brings discusting taste in my mouth …materialism.

You see many people want grandchildren like a commodtiy. Yes we should be proud of our children…but we have an obligation to bring our children to their vocation… If you sit around and talk about “when you grow up and get married and have children”… It would be a miricale if someone pursued a vocation to the priesthood, much less the religious life. I just read an article today about the LEM’s Liturgical Ecclesial Minister’s…80% are women…pointing to the fact that many wome feel called to a deeper service. Why aren’t they seeking the religious life? There are 4 times more people seeking degrees to LEM than there are candidates for the priesthood. Same issue. No the problem with the lack of priests is rooted in our secular life styles. We don’t truly believe - as a whole I mean.

The problem now is that decons are marginalized by the lay and the priesthood. Many of us do not understand what the role of the diaconate is. Sure, you are right that men can serve in a similar capacity as a lay man. Typcially that is true. But what’s sad is that deacons can take off burden from priests by administering the sacraments of marriage and baptism to begin.

Did you know that the eastern Orthodox refer to deacons appropriately as “father” the same as their priests? Trivial for the day. I spoke with an Eastern Catholic priest to look in to becoming an eastern catholic clergy…he elaborated on requirements etc. but never led me to priesthood. He told me about becoming a deacon… If we lived overseas, I could actually become a priest as an Eastern Catholic. Not the problem is that the laity do not educate themselves on the history of the Church. Well, lets be real, the laity don’t even bother to educate themselves on the faith much less history of the church and especially something they heretically reject. Sad day for the Church when people don’t get it. It sounds Protestant.
 
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