Dicipline for biting?

[space_ghost]

Dr Spock’s first book took great care in telling people that corporal punishment did not work…

In his second book, he had a change of heart and said that he was wrong about spanking, and when done properly was not in an of itself a bad choice of punishment when the occasion or crime fit the punishment…

how many books have you published and sold more than a million copies… or, that was accepted by universities (some) as required reading for psychology classes…

 

[Timidity]

I think we’re drifting off topic here…

 

[mlchance]

Island Oak:

Guess if the alternative was to get smacked, I’d be a straight-A student, cheerful, talkative, generally respectful, pious, and helpful around the house, too.

Excellent. Then we’re in agreement that corporal punishment is an effective discipline tool. See how much easier things are when you refrain from being self-righteous?

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[Island_Oak]

mlchance:

Excellent. Then we’re in agreement that corporal punishment is an effective discipline tool. See how much easier things are when you refrain from being self-righteous?

– Mark L. Chance.

You may be on to something…I’ll make sure to ask my husband to knock me around a little tonight so I can make sure I get the ol’ checkbook reconciled properly and the laundry picked up faster. If only I would of thought of this before…

 

[mlchance]

Island Oak:

You may be on to something…I’ll make sure to ask my husband to knock me around a little tonight so I can make sure I get the ol’ checkbook reconciled properly and the laundry picked up faster. If only I would of thought of this before…

See? Now you’re being self-righteous again. Are you familiar with what a strawman is? Because you’re setting them up all over the place.

Please, in great detail since you have such keen insight into my mind and family life, explain how my use of corporal punishment as a discipline tool somehow equates to approval with spousal abuse. I’m quite curious to see the actual movements a mind muscle-bound with suspicion uses when it jumps to conclusions.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[Island_Oak]

mlchance:

See? Now you’re being self-righteous again. Are you familiar with what a strawman is? Because you’re setting them up all over the place.

Please, in great detail since you have such keen insight into my mind and family life, explain how my use of corporal punishment as a discipline tool somehow equates to approval with spousal abuse. I’m quite curious to see the actual movements a mind muscle-bound with suspicion uses when it jumps to conclusions.

– Mark L. Chance.

Simple enough…if it’s desirable for purposes of behavior correction/modification for you to “smack” the kids, how does it rock your world or logic to suggest a “smack” to the wife isn’t a desirable, maybe occasionally necessary “discipline tool” to set her path straight? Perhaps if the suggestion is still illogical to you, explain to me the rationality of justifying physical violence with your weaker/smaller/less educated family members (kids) when they err, but NOT with the older/stronger/wiser, thus more culpable member (your wife), when she does.

Physical violence, merely IMHO, reflects a failure, frustration…a breakdown in parenting skill and communication. Heaven knows it makes an impression and can certainly modify behavior. It also seems to emerge at the lowest points and leave everyone feeling defeated.

p.s.: even if you have in the past failed to finesse your description of meting out punishment to your now-compliant kiddos, I do like how you turn the phrase above…“a mind muscle-bound with suspicion…” ooh… that’s so smooth!

 

[mlchance]

Island Oak:

Simple enough…if it’s desirable for purposes of behavior correction/modification for you to “smack” the kids, how does it rock your world or logic to suggest a “smack” to the wife isn’t a desirable, maybe occasionally necessary “discipline tool” to set her path straight?

That simply doesn’t follow. Why not just admit what’s really going on here? You’re being a self-righteous, judgmental busy body, not only condemning someone for having a different opinion than yours, but going further and attempting to defame that person as some sort of violent criminal? I’m sure you’ll disagree and project all of the guilt right back at me, especially since that’s what self-righteous, judgmental busy bodies are best at.

The cognitive dissonance created by your ironclad delusion that you are right and others who disagree are evil and probably beat their wives won’t allow you to do otherwise.

It is obvious that the fact that disciplining my children is one of my responsibilities, whereas disciplining my wife is not, cannot slip through the checkpoints of libelous judgment you’ve set up around your life.

Bye!

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[Joan_M]

Island Oak:

Simple enough…if it’s desirable for purposes of behavior correction/modification for you to “smack” the kids, how does it rock your world or logic to suggest a “smack” to the wife isn’t a desirable, maybe occasionally necessary “discipline tool” to set her path straight? Perhaps if the suggestion is still illogical to you, explain to me the rationality of justifying physical violence with your weaker/smaller/less educated family members (kids) when they err, but NOT with the older/stronger/wiser, thus more culpable member (your wife), when she does.

Physical violence, merely IMHO, reflects a failure, frustration…a breakdown in parenting skill and communication. Heaven knows it makes an impression and can certainly modify behavior. It also seems to emerge at the lowest points and leave everyone feeling defeated.

p.s.: even if you have in the past failed to finesse your description of meting out punishment to your now-compliant kiddos, I do like how you turn the phrase above…“a mind muscle-bound with suspicion…” ooh… that’s so smooth!

Well, I was the one to spank my two boys when they were small, and even not so small. They turned out fine. And I never tried to hit my husband - except when we were sparring! (Taekwondo) Although I did throw him over my shoulder, when demonstrating a move in Hapkido!! I don’t know who was more surprised at that - him or me!!! (He weighs a LOT more than me - or did at the time ).

Judicious spanking does absolutely no harm to children, and has excellent results.

 

[Island_Oak]

mlchance:

That simply doesn’t follow. Why not just admit what’s really going on here? You’re being a self-righteous, judgmental busy body, not only condemning someone for having a different opinion than yours, but going further and attempting to defame that person as some sort of violent criminal? I’m sure you’ll disagree and project all of the guilt right back at me, especially since that’s what self-righteous, judgmental busy bodies are best at.

The cognitive dissonance created by your ironclad delusion that you are right and others who disagree are evil and probably beat their wives won’t allow you to do otherwise.

It is obvious that the fact that disciplining my children is one of my responsibilities, whereas disciplining my wife is not, cannot slip through the checkpoints of libelous judgment you’ve set up around your life.

Bye!

– Mark L. Chance.

WOW…did you stay up until 4:20am penning your vitriolic response or get up extra early to do so? Either way, you come off a smidge hostile and perhaps need a little more rest, my testy and defensive friend. If expressing an opinion contrary to yours on a forum meant for such a purpose renders me a “self-rightous, judgemental busy-body” in your opinion, so be it. However, I cannot defame you (or, to be technically correct, libel you as it were since we’re writing and not speaking) merely by republishing your own admission. My question about relations with your wife was to my mind a logical follow up to your rather crudly flung neolithic insight on reining in your kids’ behavior.

And in the end, verbal sparring aside, I gave my take on the use of corporal punishment. You can take that opinion and do with it as you will.

 

[jess7396]

Wow, this thread has gotten into the usual debate. My first day here I got into the spanking discussions and now I know better .

As to the OP, who seems to have handled the problem already- I think you did really well, hitting your daughter would not be appropriate IMO and what you did certainly seems appropriate to me. I think a first offense of a 5 yo biting should be handled the way you did, if it continued there would be a real problem, hopefully it was a minor lapse in judgement- I’ve had them now and again and I expect my kids will too.

Did you ever found out why she bit? I mean as opposed to the more usual response of “I hate you” or maybe a hit? Biting is odd for a 5 year old, yk?

Now- to take over your thread, since your problem is solved- any ideas on how to stop my 1 yo from biting the breast that feeds him? (weaning him, hitting him, pulling his hair, etc. answers not needed- thanks )

I opened this thread hoping it would be about my topic

 

[riabia]

jess7396:

Now- to take over your thread, since your problem is solved- any ideas on how to stop my 1 yo from biting the breast that feeds him? (weaning him, hitting him, pulling his hair, etc. answers not needed- thanks )

I opened this thread hoping it would be about my topic

With my daughter, a sharp “Ouch- No biting Mommy”, along with a temporary removal from the breast seemed to do the trick.

 

[springbreeze]

jess7396:

Now- to take over your thread, since your problem is solved- any ideas on how to stop my 1 yo from biting the breast that feeds him? (weaning him, hitting him, pulling his hair, etc. answers not needed- thanks )

Dear friend

My best advice to you as a breast-feeding counsellor is to withdraw the breast when they start to bite!!!

At the biting stage it is no longer a feeding instrument but more of a play thing! My daughter used to grin then bite…most unpleasant! . Seriously the biting stage does not pass and is a source of fun at your reaction to it, unless you can not react which is unlikely! You can’t really talk to a 12 month old about not biting your breast, so it is at this stage best to remove the breast and at 12 months cow’s milk is acceptable to the gut, intetines and stomach of the baby/toddler.

If you have breast-fed for 12 months, then CONGRATULATIONS you are in 5% of the population, which is congratulations and down to you and your hard work and perseverance through all the milk boosting stages.

Now you have breast-fed once you’ll never revert to any other method, the benefits are amazing. Now you will see the benefits in your growing child of your breast-feeding, less incidence of asthma, chest infection, ear infection, eczema, obesity/overweight, increased intelligence, closer bond between mother and child, psychological security of the child…the list is endless.

Well done Mum!!!

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa

 

[wisdom_3_5]

jess7396:

As to the OP, who seems to have handled the problem already- I think you did really well, hitting your daughter would not be appropriate IMO and what you did certainly seems appropriate to me. I think a first offense of a 5 yo biting should be handled the way you did, if it continued there would be a real problem, hopefully it was a minor lapse in judgement- I’ve had them now and again and I expect my kids will too.

Did you ever found out why she bit? I mean as opposed to the more usual response of “I hate you” or maybe a hit? Biting is odd for a 5 year old, yk?

Thank you for your encouragement! I tend to stress about whether I’m doing the “right thing” when teaching/disciplining my kids, its nice to have positive feedback.

The girl is one of her friends. She says that in “the gang” this girl is always the leader and my daughter never gets to choose what to do/be the leader of the gang at recess. She bit the girl at the beginning of music class (right after recess), the teacher always lines them up, this girl was ahead of Nikki. She wouldn’t hit the gril, because she’s bigger than Nikki, so I guess she lost control and bit her. I never had trouble with her biting, so maybe it was one of those things she didn’t know? She and the girl are still friends. I’m pretty sure she won’t be biting anyone again.

 

[jess7396]

Yeah, I was thinking that maybe it was a random “don’t know what else to do” response from your daughter. At least now everyone knows she can fight dirty . So, maybe that one bite will give her a reputation of “don’t mess with me” You gotta find the humor in these things.

BTW- Baby bean hasn’t bitten me in 2 days now, I think he was just teething- maybe? Hopefully . All I did was get him off, tell him “NO!” and put him down and walk away.

 

[cove]

wisdom 3:5:

I just picked my 5 year old up from school and found out that she bit a classmate (& drew blood ). What dicipline should I give her at home? Tomorrow she will apologize to the girl she bit, but I need some ideas for at home. Thanks

Why did your daughter bite this child? I would find out her reason 1st and then proceed from there.