Did he get to heaven?

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Oldhickoryao

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My friend who was a gang member and had a violent passed got out of the life and was making positive changes…he believed in God and prayed but was not go to mass. He was murdered and im constantly worried that he is not in heaven…how do i get passed this? I have not been given any signs or feel his presence. Plea
 
Hi, welcome to CAF.

I understand your concern for your friend’s soul. Unfortunately we have no way of knowing for sure if a person is “saved” or in Heaven until we ourselves leave this life. We are supposed to pray for the person and trust in God’s mercy.
Sometimes God gives us a little consolation so we can feel more at peace about this, but it’s not guaranteed you will get such consolation.

You can
-say prayers (any prayer you like) for your friend
-have Mass said for your friend, including Mass enrollments and maybe even Gregorian Masses
-attend Mass yourself and offer it for your friend
-go to Adoration and offer a holy hour for your friend
-earn indulgences and give them to your friend
-ask others to pray for your friend by writing the intention on Prayer Intentions thread, in the intention books or basket at your church, etc.

I am happy to also pray for your friend’s soul.

Such prayers will help your friend get to Heaven if he is in purgatory. And who knows, God might even apply them to help your friend during his life. God is outside time and can apply prayers to anyone at any time.

It sounds like he was on the right track when he passed, so I would say there is great reason to hope in his case that God was merciful and cane running to meet him at the end. God wants to save everyone he possibly can, and he loved your friend.
 
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Oldhickoryao said:
My friend who was a gang member and had a violent passed got out of the life and was making positive changes…he believed in God and prayed but was not go to mass. He was murdered and im constantly worried that he is not in heaven…how do i get passed this? I have not been given any signs or feel his presence. Plea
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Keep him in your prayers. That’s why we pray for the dead in mass. ALL the dead.
 
Welcome to the forums.

I’m very sorry for your loss of your friend, Oldhickoryao. None of us can be sure that any of our family members or friends are in heaven. But we can and do hope that they may be or if not, then that they are in Purgatory and will eventually be in heaven where we also hope to be and to see them again one day.

But we have hope that God through His mercy, in some way, somehow has saved our loved ones and so we continue to pray for them.

May I suggest you daily prayer the Eternal Rest prayer for your friend, have a Mass offered for your friend on the anniversary of their death, remember your friend during the month of November each year (Holy Souls) by writing their name down in your parish’s book of remembrance. Try to gain a plenary indulgence yourself and ask God to apply the merits of this to your friend, and even offer any partial indulgences you obtain for your friend too.

Below is a pdf file of the 1968 Enchiridion/Indulgences, in which you will find listed indulgences explained as well as listed plenary (full) and partial indulgenced prayers etc.

 
Have mass said for him, maybe enroll in a perpetual Mass.

You can trust him to God.

I will pray for your friend. You sound like a very good friend!
 
Oldhickoryao said:
My friend who was a gang member and had a violent passed got out of the life and was making positive changes…he believed in God and prayed but was not go to mass. He was murdered and im constantly worried that he is not in heaven…how do i get passed this? I have not been given any signs or feel his presence. Plea
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I am so sorry for your loss. Your friend sounds like he was working hard to better his life and his belief in God was growing stronger each day. Please trust in the mercy and forgiveness of God.
Pray for your friend and work at getting indulgences for his soul and having Mass said for him.
You will grieve, and grief is normal. In time you will find some resolution to his death in time by the grace of God.

I attended a funeral yesterday, young father, died of cancer, left behind a wife and 3 young children. He had a troubled past, prison and criminal activities. He met his wife and started straightening out his life for his family.
The funeral was a Catholic Requiem Mass, the Parish had been praying for him throughout his illness.
There were all walks of life at the funeral, from his very religious and pious Italian family members, to outlaw bikers wearing their colors.

God works in mysterious ways.

You will most likely not be given signs or feel his presence as this is not the Catholic way of belief.
 
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He was making positive changes?
Does that not give you hope that he had started his way to God? We don’t often change at the snap of the fingers. Babies take time to learn how to take steps without hanging on to something. Parents understand this.

Remember the scripture of the father waiting for the return of his son? His son was on the way and the father ran to him.
 
Are you familiar with the Divine Mercy chaplet?
It is a recommended prayer for those who are dying and in their last hours. Perhaps saying this prayer daily would give you comfort, and knowing that you are helping someone who is about to die unexpectedly would console you. Many people say this prayer all over the world for such souls who are not ready to meet Jesus and yet are coming quickly before him.
 
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Everyone has given you good advice… most important thing is to pray for your friend. Place you trust in The Lord with all your heart that He knows your friend’s name and will call him home when the time comes.

I’m so sorry for your loss… I pray you find peace and God eases your worries.

Please remember no matter what anyone says to you about your friend, our mercy and grace are always in God’s hands…God’s hands alone.

God Bless.
 
I agree with what everyone said here. Pray for his soul every day. You can pray the traditional “Eternal rest, grant to him O Lord and let perpetual light shine upon him, and may he rest in peace.” Ask God that the prayer gain an indulgence through the ministry of the Church. This prayer will be applied directly to his soul.

The only other thing I would add is not to seek “signs” because that can often lead people to seek out mediums like the Long Island Medium lady on TV. These people are getting their information about the deceased from the demons who studied them while they were alive and you don’t want to go to people like that.
 
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Thank you for your response…i attended catholic services until i went to college and i havent been a very good servant. I had my best friend murdered in Emerson, Nebraska in Nov. 2016 and i lost alot of my faith in…and now Justin murdered in Brookings, SD on Sept. 29 i pretty much am so confused that i lost it all. That i dont believe in my heart. That i am disabled and hard to learn so i dont quite understand amd what we dont understand cannot believe in i guess. I have memory issues and remember my prayers, teachings, dont know what half of what you mentioned to be honest but i can research and follow through with. Thank you for your prayers as well. My life has turned since developing PTSD due to viewing the murder in 2016…left me traumatized…and now simply alone and depressed. I have will to fight foe someone else though and i will follow through with a local church for more guidance. Thank you and i appreciate your time.
 
My condolences on the loss of your two friends and yout PTSD. That must be very hard.
It is an awful thing when people you love die, especially a violent death.
Praying and being close to God is something good you can do for them, but it will also help you.
Even if you don’t feel like it is helping, it is.

If you can, try going to Adoration and just sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
Tell Jesus your troubles.
He loves you and your friends.

I will pray for you. God bless.
 
Could you supply a link to the Eternal Rest prayer? I’m not familiar with that one, and would like to pray it.

Thank you.
 
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