Did he have free will or was his suicide predetermined?

[CSWalkins]

We recently lost our son to a self-inflicted wound. As we work through our grief and mourning the questions keep coming back to us: What if? & Why?
He had so much going for him, graduated from college and the police academy at the top of his class, working on his master’s degree and a great job, married and a new home. She started cheating on him a year into their marriage and 23 months married he decided to end his own life. We prayed for him, tried to help him, but she kept running on him.
Did God have his life pre-determined? Did our son use his own free will to end his life? We are having trouble figuring out which. Please help?

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Dear friend,

So sorry to read of your family sorrow. It is well established that most people who take their own life, do it to stop the pain. This does not mean that we have no free will. But our free will can be overcome if we are under enough pain (physical or mental) or are under enough pressure. More than one saint has hurt enough to contemplate suicide. St. Ignatius of Loyola was tempted to throw himself out of the window of an upper floor in his earlier days.

Your son seems to have been used to doing well at whatever he attempted. His marriage must have been the most important and treasured challenge of his life. It appears that no matter what he did, he could not succeed in overcoming the problems it kept bringing him and he felt the walls closing in on him.

Fortunately, the Lord knows us like the back of His hand. He understands the inhumane effects of living under overwhelming pressure. His mercy is our only hope in every situation. He did not intend to shed His blood for us in vain. He has a passion for us, after all. His love for us has no end.

You, your son and family are in our prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.