Did i commit a mortal sin? question for fellow men over 18

[howareyou1]

Hi
Forgive me for asking this question…

So, I’ve been trying to give up masturbation. Last night i went to bed after several days without masturbating. Furthermore, i didn’t go to bed thinking about sex or anything like that… Unfortunately, at around 3 am i woke up finding myself masturbating, i wasn’t conscious when i started doing it, but i was conscious at the end. However… there are somethings which made me doubt if i committed a mortal sin
1- I didn’t plan to do it… in the past, when i have masturbated, i always planned it
2- i wasn’t thinking about anything related to sex when i was doing it… normally, i just can’t masturbate without thinking about sex.
3- i didn’t use my hands… i don’t know how this was possible, but i didn’t use my hands.
4- forgive me for saying this… because of the amount of ejaculation, i can tell maybe my body needed to do such thing.

so, did i commit a mortal sin?
how can i avoid this to happen in the future? i feel so bad.

thank you…

 

[fnr]

Well, here’s a not-so-super-helpful quote from the Catechism, which pretty much says “it depends…”

*2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. *

 

[fordhamstudent]

You did not commit a mortal sin since it was not a full act of the will and you did not consciously intend to commit an act of mortal sin when you began the action.

Over history priests tried to help men with this challenge by recommending everything from oatmeal to physical restraints. In the modern age people are not trained in self-discipline and self-restraint which makes it difficult to resist sexual bodily urges such as masterbation.

There are many recommendations such as vigorous daily exercise to dietary change which priests recommended to me in the past when I was younger and struggled more with this challenge. But, there is no golden key to stop the practice, since each case is individual. What works for me is before the temptation happens I reflect on the purpose of the sexual organs that they were created to bring forth LIFE into the world and the pleasure which comes from touching them is a reward the body gives not to our very selfish action of masterbation, but rather for the unitive sexual action of a man and women in the sacrament of marriage.

Daily healthy and vigorous exercise is also good for tiring out the system so that the desire is lessened. Laying off a high sugar or fat diet will also help and of course to learn self-discipline or self-mastery is fundamental. The development of self-mastery starts with renouncing small pleasures and desires and gradually one becomes easily able to resist actions such as masterbation and other sinful actions. Start with something small. Let’s say you really have to eat a a candy bar each day and you know that they are making you overweight. Each day mentally reject the presupposition that you “need” the candy bar, turn your attention quickly to another matter, and move on. Gradually, one can come to self-mastery over a period of years. Combined with acts of penance mental self-mastery can progress much quicker. But, as with all progress sometimes we regress, but the key is not to let yourself get down over an acute lapse–pick yourself up and begin the process of self-mastery again.

The human mind tends to be a contrarian and thus when you want to do the good it wants the bad. So when you want to stop a sinful practice the mind wants it ever more so. The important thing is to understand the human mind and its contrary nature and beat it to the pass. If you know the mind wants what God does not then you must discipline it like a wild horse is trained and made tame.

The mind by itself is given to all kinds of fancies and can lead a man to do all kinds of unnatural and sinful actions–even without the full consent of the will. The key is to recognize that God placed you steward over your mind and body and YOU are in control of it. When you realize you have the authority from God to tame the wild beast, which is the mind, then you can grow in authentic self-confidence and esteem. You have to take control of your life and taking control over this bad habit is one step to becoming a successful and well disciplined man. Just imagine if you can control this passion what you can do in your life! Another aspect of the prevalence of masterbation is that manhood and manners are no longer taught to men.

Masterbation tends to lead to effeminacy and ill manners. Masterbation like eating with your hands at the table or passing gas in public are the product of bad manners. You can become a man of decorum and manners and thus increase your masculinity and success. In a former age priests and fathers would train young men in self-mastery and manners, but alas this age is in the deficit.

If you have any more questions feel free to ask and I applaud your courage to reach out and get help from fellow Catholics.

 

[DexUK]

You didn’t sin by starting since you were not conscious or in control of your actions (it is not possible to sin whilest asleep).

Only you can know whether you had the necessary control of your will that you could have stopped at a later point when you became more conscious.

I think it is reasonable to say that the biological processes of the activity cause the release of chemicals in the brain so that you’re no longer quite thinking or reasoning in the same way as when you are, shall we say, ‘sober’, and perhaps while still in the process of waking up and already being a bit ‘foggy-of-brain’, your reasoning processes might be affected by this. It’s difficult to say though.

Although I would strongly disagree that the activity lends itself to “effeminacy” (in fact I think that’s absolute balderdash) I would err on the side of safety and include it in your next confession. What’s the worst that can happen? Easy… it’ll be the same as the best that can happen: you’ll be absolved and not have to worry about it, and the priest can give you some authoritative advice.

 

[JRKH]

Hi
Forgive me for asking this question…

So, I’ve been trying to give up masturbation. Last night i went to bed after several days without masturbating. Furthermore, i didn’t go to bed thinking about sex or anything like that… Unfortunately, at around 3 am i woke up finding myself masturbating, i wasn’t conscious when i started doing it, but i was conscious at the end.

Based on the last statement - Not sinful when started - more so at the end.
I will not comment on the mortality of the sin at the end for “conscious” when coming out of sleep can have various stages…So it depends on how willfully you allowed it to continue.

However… there are somethings which made me doubt if i committed a mortal sin
1- I didn’t plan to do it… in the past, when i have masturbated, i always planned it
2- i wasn’t thinking about anything related to sex when i was doing it… normally, i just can’t masturbate without thinking about sex.
3- i didn’t use my hands… i don’t know how this was possible, but i didn’t use my hands.
4- forgive me for saying this… because of the amount of ejaculation, i can tell maybe my body needed to do such thing.

Items 3 and 4 have no bearing on the matter of sinfulness. Items 1 and 2 speak to the problem of unconscious habit. Even when we determine not to commit a given sin our unconscious retains the memories, the proclivity toward it, and this can show up especially in the sleep state.

so, did i commit a mortal sin?

Can’t say positively - I do think that it is best to confess it as this provides two benefits. 1) It clears your conscience so you do not worry about it. 2) It reinforces the determination to break the habit and subdue the proclivity towards it.

how can i avoid this to happen in the future? i feel so bad.

Just keep doing what you are already doing. Hate the sin, confess failures, encourage pure thoughts and activities. Over time you may very well find that you fight impure urges even in your dreams. You may still ejaculate since in dreams thoughts instantly become acts…but you will know that it was not for sinful reasons.

thank you…

Hope some of this helps.

Peace
James

 

[Michael_Mayo]

Hi
so, did i commit a mortal sin?
how can i avoid this to happen in the future? i feel so bad.

No, You can’t.
Forget it an move on.

 

[inomcoke]

I’d agree with the majority here that it is likely not a mortal sin…However, go to confession anyway.

I struggle with the same issues as you in this area and I’ve found more than anything else confession helps me avoid this sin and greatly reduces the temptation of it.

Frequent Confession + Even more frequent reception of the Eucharist is the cure for a great many problems in this life.

Good luck, I’ll pray for you to overcome this awful sin. Please pray for me as well.

 

[beehumble]

Hi
i wasn’t conscious when i started doing it, but i was conscious at the end.

Just go to confession and confess it. (You could have stopped but chose not to - since you were conscious at the end.)

You should try fasting along with prayer (Jesus said sometimes fasting is needed along with prayer). Try bread (choose something good or that you like,such as plain croissants) and some beverage (preferably water but maybe coffee or soft drink if water is too difficult - no alcohol) - try this on Wednesdays and then later add Fridays if you can.

God bless you.