Did I commit a sin of lust?

[francesco920]

Last week I found myself in a situation where there was an attractive girl who was dressed immodestly and as much as I tried not to look, I found myself looking at her several times. I don’t recall having any “if I could I would” type desires, but the experience left me feeling guilty. Did I commit a mortal sin? I didn’t think I did so I received Communion on Sunday, but now I am not sure. Also I have a tendency to be scrupulous.

 

[Wesley7]

This question is appropriate for an ordained Catholic priest not for random discussion on the internet.

~Wesley

 

[roveau]

We all face this sort of dilemma and I for one think it is appropriate for discussion although of course this should be discussed in confession for a determination.

You can’t help but notice a good looking body but my rule is that I mustn’t ‘go back for seconds’ because then I know I’ve crossed the line.

The danger is that it can lead to a mortal sin depending on what your mind and/or body does with the ‘information’, so to speak.

Rove

 

[bpbasilphx]

YOu can’t help seeing what’s right in front of you.

Don’t beat yourself up over it.

 

[lil_flower_luv]

Let me just address real quick: If you question whether or not you did something wrong and are guilty over it, you usually did something wrong. I’m not saying it happened in this case, but when I glanced at the title, I was reminded of it.

Anyway, it is in our human nature. Just pray about it.

God Bless!!

 

[North_of_Nod]

It is not a sin to notice that someone is attractive; however, it becomes sinful when you dwell on the feeling of attraction. If this is something you struggle with, it may be a good idea to address this with a priest and see what he has to say about it. I could be wrong, but I don’t think it is a mortal sin, because you’re expressing doubt about it. In order for it to be a mortal sin, you would have to have done it despite knowing full well that it was against teachings.

God bless.

 

[Ceil-1]

You did not seek it out, and you did not will it. You conscienciously fought against the feeling. Confession may help in the sense that it will give you graces needed to fend off the next attack. It sounds as if you were tempted, not that you sinned. But, if you are unsure, go to the priest. Good job.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

First of all, I applaud your commitment to purity!!

I don’t think you committed a sin. It’s kind of like when there is a flashy advertisement for a humburger right in front of you. You can’t help but look every few minutes. What becomes a problem is when you dwell on it and entertain negative thoughts. However, given your attitude towards this, I would pray about it and move on!

A good rule of thumb is, I think, “If my wife (or, if I was married and my wife was here), would she be bothered by the way I am looking?” I actually catch my hubby’s eyes looking at the girls with the short skirts, but it doesn’t bother me. What WOULD bother me was if he looked, then looked again…then glued his eyes on them and ran into a telephone pole. He’d be icing his forehead on his OWN for that one!

 

[SaltySirena]

Let me just address real quick: If you question whether or not you did something wrong and are guilty over it, you usually did something wrong.

The problem with that is that the OP tends toward scrupulosity, which makes people feel guilty even when they have done no wrong. This kind of post can be really unhelpful for a scrupulous person, and could even make them worse! Be careful.

I agree with the people who say that you couldn’t help seeing it since she shoved it in your face, and hey, you are a young guy. You’re gonna look. Human nature.

But, you know, you can eat one Oreo, or pig out on the whole bag. You need to develop self-control, so that you remind yourself after the first look, “Hey, the first time was a natural reaction. If I look again, then I am starting to nurture temptation and the beginning of sin.”

 

[lil_flower_luv]

The problem with that is that the OP tends toward scrupulosity, which makes people feel guilty even when they have done no wrong. This kind of post can be really unhelpful for a scrupulous person, and could even make them worse! Be careful.

Didn’t realize that, thanks!

 

[SaltySirena]

Didn’t realize that, thanks!

He said so in the first post, but if you were reading fast, it would be easy to miss.

 

[DominicVobiscum]

Last week I found myself in a situation where there was an attractive girl who was dressed immodestly and as much as I tried not to look, I found myself looking at her several times. I don’t recall having any “if I could I would” type desires, but the experience left me feeling guilty. Did I commit a mortal sin? I didn’t think I did so I received Communion on Sunday, but now I am not sure. Also I have a tendency to be scrupulous.

My priest would probably say it was not a sin at all, but perhaps an occasion of sin at worst. Maybe next time, just walk away.

Pray on it, and discuss with your priest next time you go to confession.

 

[totallylost]

I’m sorry for my limited understanding about lust. I was trying to search for the meaning for ‘lust’ and found this thread.
Why is looking at someone you considered attractive a lust?
What if you’re looking at someone you find attractive but it’s because of his/her hair was super spiky, or u noticed a girl shaved clean bald on her head…(which is not so normal in today’s society). or someone wearing something very strange but not very revealing?
What if I saw someone wearing the costume of ‘superman’ and wanted to look at it second time? Can someone define lust clearly? other than “strong sexual desires” or “if i could, i would”.

 

[Brooklyn]

Let me just address real quick: If you question whether or not you did something wrong and are guilty over it, you usually did something wrong.

I’m not sure I agree with that. As the OP said, he tends to have a problem with scrupulosity. When I do something wrong, I never have to question it. I know it. I might try to justify it, but that doesn’t make it right, and I recognize that.

I use to worry about whether something was a sin or not when I was a kid. As an adult, I know the difference between right and wrong.

As far as the OP’s question, he most likely did not commit a sin. It’s hard not to look an attractive person, and this is especially difficult for men. But as long as he did not entertain any lustful thoughts, he did not sin.

I often ask my husband how he manages in our society when women are constantly flaunting their bodies. He says you just try not to stare.

I heard Father Dubay say more than once that just because a sinful thought enters your mind, it does not mean you have sinned. It is whether or not you have acted on it.

If the OP imagined sinful actions with this particular woman, then he sinned, and there wouldn’t be any doubt in his mind. But just seeing her is not of and by itself a sin.

 

[Luke_K]

I’m sorry for my limited understanding about lust. I was trying to search for the meaning for ‘lust’ and found this thread.
Why is looking at someone you considered attractive a lust?
What if you’re looking at someone you find attractive but it’s because of his/her hair was super spiky, or u noticed a girl shaved clean bald on her head…(which is not so normal in today’s society). or someone wearing something very strange but not very revealing?
What if I saw someone wearing the costume of ‘superman’ and wanted to look at it second time? Can someone define lust clearly? other than “strong sexual desires” or “if i could, i would”.

If you are looking at them to deliberately promote sexual arousal, then it is lust. As for when it crosses the line between venial and mortal sin, I think it’s a mortal sin when you purposefully and firmly decide to shut out the good part of your conscience that is telling you to stop.

I’m not God though, so don’t hold me on that.

 

[cargau]

First of all our God is a God of mercy. He cares more about what is in your heart than counting the number of times you glanced at a pretty girl. God made guys to be visual beings.

Now if what is in your mind turns to a more serious deviant thoughts or behaviors, that would certainly be something to be concerned about.

It has been said that sinning is turning away from God. So, make a consious effort to turn towards God. The next time this happens thank the God of beauty for such a treasure and realize that she is a soul that needs salvation, too. So, say a prayer for her.

Somehow, that just can’t be sinful…

 

[JRKH]

I’m sorry for my limited understanding about lust. I was trying to search for the meaning for ‘lust’ and found this thread.
Why is looking at someone you considered attractive a lust?
What if you’re looking at someone you find attractive but it’s because of his/her hair was super spiky, or u noticed a girl shaved clean bald on her head…(which is not so normal in today’s society). or someone wearing something very strange but not very revealing?
What if I saw someone wearing the costume of ‘superman’ and wanted to look at it second time? Can someone define lust clearly? other than “strong sexual desires” or “if i could, i would”.

I refer you to the section in the Catechism section on the Ninth commandment.

If you have further questions we can try to address those.

Peace
James

 

[NoWhereMan]

God certainly has created some very beautiful people, I am sure he dont mind if we admire them. We cant go around with blinders on

 

[JRKH]

God certainly has created some very beautiful people, I am sure he dont mind if we admire them. We cant go around with blinders on

Most every person God has created is beautiful in one way or another.
The question is to what kind of beauty are we attracted?

For instance, which would you find more attractive,
a “nice looking girl” modestly dressed in white, on her knees praying or a Runway Model in skin tight jeans and halter top?

Of course I’m not talking necessarily about sin here, but rather how we condition ourselves. Society steers us toward the “Runway Model” - The “Bikini types” and "Super Models. This is what society holds up as “Attractive”. What we should be cultivating is the attraction to the interior traits of Inner beauty, piety, modesty, honesty, and so forth that make a person truly good and stable and more suitable to home and family life.

In other words, we need to cultivate the attraction to th interior and not the exterior.

Peace
James

 

[NoWhereMan]

Most every person God has created is beautiful in one way or another.
The question is to what kind of beauty are we attracted?

For instance, which would you find more attractive,
a “nice looking girl” modestly dressed in white, on her knees praying or a Runway Model in skin tight jeans and halter top?

Of course I’m not talking necessarily about sin here, but rather how we condition ourselves. Society steers us toward the “Runway Model” - The “Bikini types” and "Super Models. This is what society holds up as “Attractive”. What we should be cultivating is the attraction to the interior traits of Inner beauty, piety, modesty, honesty, and so forth that make a person truly good and stable and more suitable to home and family life.

In other words, we need to cultivate the attraction to th interior and not the exterior.

Peace
James

All true what you said, But God did creat some extraordinary beautiful people where it`s impossible not to turn your head & steal a glance, & I am not talking about women who are scantily clad
Sometime the stolen glance may have a bad thought with it, but we are sexual beings, through no fault of our own