I have to know if what I’ve done regarding communion is right. To put you in context, two days ago, I got into a fight with my dad. (My parents split up when I was eleven, and my dad cheated on my mom. I’ve never accepted it, and sometimes it makes me incredibly mad at him. You can read the story here if you want:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=533362). I’m not usually mean, but I yelled at my dad and told him that I hated him. This morning, I used a curse word to describe him. He didn’t hear me say it, because I was at my mom’s house, but she did. This afternoon, I went to mass. When the time to receive communion came, I heard a little voice in my head: “You shouldn’t go”. That’s when I thought that I might have broken a commandment, “Honor your father and your mother”. I told myself that I probably should have gone to confession. I wasn’t sure at all if I was in a state of grace or not, so I just stayed where I was and didn’t receive communion. It just felt so…
weird. I can’t seem to think of a better word. It was the first time in my life since I converted that it happened. My question is: did I do the right thing?
Thank you.
Meggie
It does feel wierd to not receive when you are used to it.
Yes, if you have any doubt, then wait for confession, there is no error in that. Perhaps it was not serious or perhaps it was, depending upon your intent and understanding, but you will have to decide.
You showed great respect for God by waiting.
I have read that if one makes a private confession with perfect contrition, they may receive (See 1452 below), but must confess as soon as possible after that, which they should attempt that day. But I have never done this myself, but rather waited. It is also very good to confess venial sins, such as once a month, which should actually be the normal confession. It may be more difficult sometimes to have perfect contrition for a venial sin, one may need to recall a previous mortal sin.
Perfect contrition means we truly regret what we did not because of any punishment we will receive, but because we have offended God. It always means a recognition of wrong done to God, a detestation of the evil in it, and a desire to turn from evil and do good, in other words a change of heart or metanoia.
I always like Psalm 50 (51):
12 A pure heart create for me, O God,
put a steadfast spirit within me.
13 Do not cast me away from your presence,
nor deprive me of your holy spirit.
14 Give me again the joy of your help;
with a spirit of fervor sustain me,
15 that I may teach transgressors your ways
and sinners may return to you.
Catechism states:
1451 Among the penitent’s acts contrition occupies first place. Contrition is "sorrow of the soul and detestation for the sin committed, together with the resolution not to sin again."50 (50 Council of Trent (1551): DS 1676.)
1452 When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called “perfect” (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.51 (51 Cf. Council of Trent (1551): DS 1677.)
1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.52 (52 Cf. Council of Trent (1551): DS 1678; 1705.)
