Did I Do The Right Thing?

[Protestant_Me]

First off, I’m sorry if this doesn’t belong in this section, but I wasn’t sure where to put it.
Anyway, I just last night cut off a 7 year friendship because I was told I couldn’t be friends with my friend unless I accepted his (for lack of a better word) whore of a girlfriend. I told him that this person, (who I have many negative run in’s with) was not going to be accepted by me. She apologized for past experiences, but I chose not to fix a friendship with her, that I didn’t mind being broken.
This is where my first question comes in, Am I being a bad person because I can’t forget the incident and would rather move on than try to patch things up?

Continuing on, they then informed me that they wanted me to be in their wedding and were trying to have a child.
Second question, I know this is a major sin. They live toghether, aren’t married and are trying to concieve. Shouldn’t this in itself be grounds enough for me to defriend the couple?
So the moment they found out I didn’t wish to make ammends with her and only keep friendship with him. They both jumped down my throat and were calling me every name they could think of to feel better. He goes to a Baptist church and she has declared herself a “Wiccan.” What kind of religion is that anyway?
Last question. Isn’t that wrong in pretty much every religion? Even Protestants think that’s wrong!

 Thank you for your insight and guidance! God Bless!! 
                 Protestant Me:shrug:

 

[Immaculata90]

1. I think it is important to be kind and forgiving. That being said, kind does NOT mean nice, and forgiving doesn’t mean you need to be BFFs with the woman. You can forgive for the behavior (as only the Lord can judge those actions) and be civil to her. If the friendship is really important to you, then try patching things up. If it’s not, forgive to the best of your ability, and move on.
2. Even if you patch things up, I wouldn’t recommend being in their wedding. It may be permissible, but by attending that wedding you are saying you agree with what is happening in the context of their relationship (which you clearly don’t). One of my good friends didn’t go to his sister’s Justice of the peace ceremony because it was her second marriage and he didn’t agree with the relationship. About the whole, trying to conceive before marriage ordeal, you should probably tell them kindly (again, kind is not nice but rather in a loving manner) that it’s not a good idea. Maybe even suggest that since they feel they are ready to have kids, they should just get married now. Like, drive to the pastor’s office and do it right then and there. If they want to act married, why not just get it over with? It doesn’t seem to mean much to them (sorry if that sounds rude, but it’s true)
3. About the whole Wiccan thing, pray for your friend. When they get married that will not be an easy road. Most Christians don’t agree with/support pagan activities, but in this relativistic society, things like this happen.

With whatever you choose to do, pray for your friend. It doesn’t sound like he will have an easy life ahead of him with the life he is choosing right now.

 

[Legal_Eagle]

This is where my first question comes in, Am I being a bad person because I can’t forget the incident and would rather move on than try to patch things up?

You don’t supply enough information about the reasons you disapprove of the girlfriend. Did she hurt you? Did she slander you? Did she lie, steal or cheat? Also, “patching things up” takes effort on behalf of both parties. Before there can be genuine forgivness on your part there has to be genuine repentance on her part. Has there been? If someone has wronged you, repents and seeks reconciliation, the yes. You have a duty to forgive. However, you have no duty to be her punching bag.

Second question, I know this is a major sin. They live toghether, aren’t married and are trying to concieve. Shouldn’t this in itself be grounds enough for me to defriend the couple?

You cannot pretend to approve of behavior that is sinful simply to be polite. However, if you’re looking for friends with no sin in their lives, I predict a lot of lonely Friday nights in your future.

So the moment they found out I didn’t wish to make ammends with her and only keep friendship with him.

That’s the thing about couples. They’re pretty much a package deal. You can’t have him unless you take her too.

They both jumped down my throat and were calling me every name they could think of to feel better.

Sounds like a lovely couple.

He goes to a Baptist church and she has declared herself a “Wiccan.”

Sounds like a good solid foundation upon which to build a family.

What kind of religion is that anyway?

The knd rebellious kids adopt to irritate their parents.

Last question. Isn’t that wrong in pretty much every religion? Even Protestants think that’s wrong!

I should hope so.

Peace,

 

[joanofarc2008]

While I don’t disagree with your stance on the relationship and I understand your anger - I personally would tone it down a notch and try not to refer to her as a whore. It may make it easier to forgive her and love her as one of God’s fellow creations just like you and me.

 

[Trishie]

I think it’s possible due to the judgement you pronounced and that caused offence is likely to have made things so that they wouldn’t desire your friendship anyway. What man would want to remain friends with someone who diirectly or indirectly indicated that the girl he loves and intends to marry and have children with is a whore.

It appears from what you said that you own personal hurt caused your indignation rather than the cause being ‘righteous’ anger. The fact that you were prepared to accept the man in what you say is a fornication relationship but not the woman reveals that the problem is about you more than about moral right. You didn’t unfriend him because you saw him as a fornicator but you want to unfriend her because she is. That’s not about God or religion but about your feelings.

This means you have inner issues of forgiveness you may need to deal with.
May God help you to grow in Christian love and forgiveness.
May God help you to heal your past hurts.

You perhaps owe apology for any rudeness of your own and judgement of your own about them but not necessarily expect their friendship as they wanted to ask you to take part in the most important day of their life and you threw that back.
The main thing is compassion and forgiveness and healing in your own heart and mind, and to pray for their conversion to Christian values. Jesus said to pray for our enemies.

God’s kindest blessings to you.

 

[Publisher]

Question…if you ‘defriend’ the couple and insult the GF with derogatory words…how will you ever be a witness to the love and mercy of God bestowed upon you through Christ…who loved you and redeemed you YET while you were in your sins?

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

My view of these things is that we don’t have to be friends with every person we meet. You have not provided details about the whole issue so it is difficult to give more precise advice on this. However, speaking from experience, these things are common. People often expect their friends to approve and embrace their choices and can’t handle it when the reception is less than enthusiastic. Whatever the issue, don’t get into arguments and name-calling. That leads nowhere. If possible, have a civil conversation with your friend and see if your relationship can survive. You don’t have to approve of his sin and if he respects you then he will accept your opinion and still be able to call you a friend.

 

[Protestant_Me]

Question…if you ‘defriend’ the couple and insult the GF with derogatory words…how will you ever be a witness to the love and mercy of God bestowed upon you through Christ…who loved you and redeemed you YET while you were in your sins?

I only defaced her on the sight to expose how she really is. I acted in a much more adult manner when I delt with the situation.

 

[Protestant_Me]

I didn’t know that providing the whole story was benificial to everyone’s helpful comments. I apologize. I am not sure how to revise or fix this. If someone could give me some idea I will be glad to give more detail on the dramatic experience. Thank you all for your helpful suggestions.
Protestant Me

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I thought detail would be relevant just to establish what the real problem is. Is the girlfriend nasty to you, or did she treat him badly? Or both? Does she have a history that would lead you to suspect that she would be bad influence on him in their marriage? or is it just a hunch that you have. That kind of thing.

 

[Trishie]

I feel from your latest two posts that you may feel a little hurt.
I imagine that the experience itself stressed you out somewhat, and perhaps you primarily hoped for understanding and assurance. Whatever hurt that you experienced at this girl’s influence in the past still hurts you, I think. Additionally it’s painful to lose a seven year friendship. I do give credit to the hurt you are feeling regarding the whole experience.
The person who suggested more details were needed…let’s face it, a legal mind! and of course a legal eagle needs more details! Its his/her job to know all the facts.
However, you don’t need to share anything more than you feel comfortable sharing. You felt hurt, you carry past hurt, you endured insults from an old friend, you weren’t sure if you handled things for the absolute best, so in all, you were vulnerable.

Please don’t feel hurt that some suggestions were made that could lead toward spiritual and personal growth, because every single one of us needs to constantly grow, and me no less than anyone else…so any appearance that anyone may be critical… we all go through that from others and from life experiences as each of us have so much growing to do.
Every once in a while someone here corrects me…and sometimes they’re right! Sometimes they have misunderstood, but sometimes they are right…and if they’re right I take it on board…because I’m probably a lot older than you but I’m still needing to grow.
To me, to you, to each of us, scripture says:
“My son, [daughter] do not scorn correction from God,
do not resent His rebuke;
for God reproves the one He loves,
as a father checks a well-loved son [daughter].” [Proverbs 3:11, 12]

So it’s okay, if hurtful, if sometimes God may have something to say to us that maybe can only come from other brothers and sisters.
God may have had a message to you somewhere in our responses, and I hope that helps, but please be at peace.

Warmly, Trishie

 

[Jesus_123]

:bible1:
Be ye
NOT
unequally yoked together with unbelievers:
for what fellowship
hath righteousness with unrighteousness?
and what communion
hath light with darkness?
- 2 Corinthians 6:14

+Welcome to Catholic Answers Forum Protestant Me . . .

After reading your original post I truly believe you have made a very sound decision to separate from this couple . . . yes . . . they are living in a state of grave sin by living together outside of marriage . . . this is true . . . and this alone is a very seriously disordered sinful state for your Baptist Christian friend and his fiance to be living in . . . which sin separates him . . . in particular . . . from the . . . Grace of God ** . . . and our . . . Wonderful Lord . . .* Jesus Christ’s ***. . . blessed loving . . . **Saving Holy Presence **. . . in his life . . . but what you revealed in the post about the fiance of your Baptist Christian friend . . . involves a dreadful evil darkness in her life that is even more gravely disturbing . . . which provides a likely much deeper and sounder insight to be gained in regard to your . . . ***profound unrest and dislike ***. . . of this girlfriend of your friend . . . as a Protestant Christian child of God . . .

Perhaps . . . and in all likelyhood . . . subconsciously . . . a large part of the reason your spirit has rejected her and has not been able to accept or receive this woman with whom your Christian Baptist friend has become involved . . . can be understood in relation to the below quote from Wikipedia which reveals very succinctly what a “Wiccan” is . . . and what is revealed is that Wicca is a dreadful Satanic evil . . . and shines a light on the ungodly relationships in which this woman has involved herself and ungodly practices she has been dabbling in . . . which practices are soundly denounced in Sacred Scripture . . .

WICCA

**Wicca (pronounced /ˈwɪkə/), **also known as Pagan Witchcraft, is a Pagan religious movement. Its adherents are referred to as Wiccans, though the terms Witches or Crafters are also sometimes used.[1] Developing in England in the first half of the 20th century,[2] Wicca was popularised in the 1950s and early 1960s by a Wiccan High Priest named Gerald Gardner, who at the time called it the “witch cult” and **“witchcraft,” **and its adherents “the Wica.”[3] From the 1960s onward, the name of the religion was normalised to “Wicca.”

Wikipedia​

​

:bible1:** EXODUS 02-22:18** Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

:bible1: DEUTERONOMY 18:10 There shall NOT be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch …

:bible1: 1 SAMUEL 15:23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.

:bible1: 2 CHRONICLES 14-33:6 And he caused his children to pass through the fire in the valley of the son of Hinnom: also he observed times, and used enchantments, and used witchcraft, and dealt with a familiar spirit, and with wizards: he wrought much evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger.

:bible1: GALATIANS 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are fornication, uncleanness, immodesty, luxury, Idolatry,** witchcrafts**, enmities, contentions, emulations, wraths, quarrels, dissensions, sects, Envies, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like. Of the which I foretell you, as I have foretold to you, that** they who do such things shall not obtain the kingdom of God**.
Keeping your distance from these two is an excellent resolution . . . living your life far away from theirs shows sound good sense . . . and God will bless you for it . . . relinquish them both into the **Lord’s **care in prayer . . . your keeping your distance from them is a sound witness that something is very seriously wrong in their lives which wrong needs to be addressed . . .


PRAYER TO
**SAINT MICHAEL
THE ARCHANGEL **

**St. Michael the Archangel, **
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness
and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him,
we humbly pray,
and do
**thou, O Prince of the heavenly hosts, **
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

. . . all for Jesus+
*. . . thank You Sweet Spirit of our Holy God+
. . . for your holy guidance and gracious help in the face of evil+
. . . thank you St. Michael, Holy Archangel of God+
. . . Prince of the Heavenly Hosts+ *​

 

[Catholic1954]

It sounds like this friendship is over. You have called your friend’s future wife a whore and have expressed no regrets for that It would be best to wish them every happiness in their upcoming marriage and move on.

 

[Jesus_123]

:bible1:
**Be ye **
NOT
unequally yoked together with unbelievers:
for what fellowship
hath righteousness with unrighteousness?
and what communion
hath light with darkness?
- 2 Corinthians 6:14

+God forbid that any . . . Christian . . . would extend good wishes . . . **or extend any support whatsoever **. . . to another Christian who is contemplating entering into a marriage union with a self-proclaimed unholy Wiccan witch involved in the Satanic Wicca Cult!

:bible1: GALATIANS 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are fornication, uncleanness, immodesty, luxury, Idolatry, witchcrafts, enmities, contentions, emulations, wraths, quarrels, dissensions, sects, envies, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like. Of the which I foretell you, as I have foretold to you, that they who do such things shall NOT obtain the kingdom of God.​

. . . all for Jesus+​

 

[SurlyMermaid]

Question…if you ‘defriend’ the couple and insult the GF with derogatory words…how will you ever be a witness to the love and mercy of God bestowed upon you through Christ…who loved you and redeemed you YET while you were in your sins?

Well said.

 

[Bob_Crowley]

First off, I’m sorry if this doesn’t belong in this section, but I wasn’t sure where to put it.
Anyway, I just last night cut off a 7 year friendship because I was told I couldn’t be friends with my friend unless I accepted his (for lack of a better word) whore of a girlfriend. I told him that this person, (who I have many negative run in’s with) was not going to be accepted by me. She apologized for past experiences, but I chose not to fix a friendship with her, that I didn’t mind being broken.
This is where my first question comes in, Am I being a bad person because I can’t forget the incident and would rather move on than try to patch things up?

Continuing on, they then informed me that they wanted me to be in their wedding and were trying to have a child.
Second question, I know this is a major sin. They live toghether, aren’t married and are trying to concieve. Shouldn’t this in itself be grounds enough for me to defriend the couple?
So the moment they found out I didn’t wish to make ammends with her and only keep friendship with him. They both jumped down my throat and were calling me every name they could think of to feel better. He goes to a Baptist church and she has declared herself a “Wiccan.” What kind of religion is that anyway?
Last question. Isn’t that wrong in pretty much every religion? Even Protestants think that’s wrong!

 Thank you for your insight and guidance! God Bless!! 
                 Protestant Me:shrug:

At first I thought you were being uncharitable, but on second thoughts I think some of your arguments are sound.

For a start your friend imposed a condition on your friendship - that you couldn’t remain friends unless you accepted his girlfriend. True friends don’t impose conditions.

On the other hand, you need to remain civilised in your attitude to your friend and his girlfriend. If you feel you cannot take part in the wedding ceremony, then say so, but give your reasons. And leave it at that.

It probably is time to move on. I’ll be very surprised if the marriage lasts, but that’s my opinion expressed from an armchair thousands of miles away. It’s your friend’s decision, and he has to take the responsibility, and the consequences.

Stay civil, but it might be time to broaden your horizons, and find another friend.

That’s my take anyway.