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Kay_Cee
Guest
I’m not trying to bait you, and my question was not pointless. I am saying there are some things that cannot be compromised.
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SamH
Guest
Care to explain that comment?:ehh:I would say that that’s very unfair-even from a Catholic standpoint.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
Care to explain that comment?:ehh:
- Did you read the rest of that comment? And no, because I don’t want to derail the thread again.
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mlz
Guest
You were absolutely correct in your decision! God bless you in standing against the pressure our culture is putting on our faith these days. It is your home and your actions speak volumes to your children. Good for you and I will pray that your wife and sister-in-law will come to understand. It is a cross you must bear standing as His in the culture of our day.The sister in-law and her new boyfriend were going stay over this weekend as house guests. They have been dating only a few months and I have never met him. They are not married.
I was going to making them sleep in separate rooms.
I have three young daughters. I am trying to raise them in the faith and teach them modesty and chastity.
My wife and my sister in-law are upset and they have decided to stay somewhere else.
They have called me an “idiotic, inhospitable, judgmental, hypocrite”. Thats an exact quote. Ouch.
Since I started actually taking my faith seriously over that last few years I have grown increasingly unpopular.
Was I out of line here?
Thoughts?
Blessings and stay strong,
mlz
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mlz
Guest
This is truely sad. Jesus told the woman at the well, “Go and sin no more” What a lame excuse…sin is sin. Just because you sin you should encourage others to?! Oh, my! When I sin I need forgiveness from the Lord, not encouragement to sin more and cause others to sin…! There needs to be lots of prayer here. So sad to see those who should know better be lured into this “Culture of Death” as Blessed JP11 called it, because a culture that excuses sin will end up dying. Unfortunately many Catholic Universities have become very secular. Again, I will pray for your wife and her sister.My wife says that since her and I cohabitated and had coitus prior to marriage (we didnt come home to the Catholic church until two years into our marriage) we have no right to tell others not to do it.
The sister in-law is also Catholic, and she has a degree in Catholic apologetics/theology from a local Catholic University. The new boyfriend is a Protestant of some sort.
Considering that all involved parties are Catholic / Christian I was truly not expecting the backlash.
Stand strong and pray,
mlz
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EasterJoy
Guest
You might point out that your alternative was to presume that your SIL and her fiance were sleeping together before marriage. Let us say that they aren’t…how rude would that presumption be? Even if you slept with your wife before you were married, it is more hospitable to give unmarried couples the option of sleeping in separate bedrooms without having to ask for them.
Unless you proposed to sit watch between their rooms so one couldn’t sneak over to sleep with the other–which would be insulting because even if your mistrust is well-placed, it is rude to openly imply that you do not trust them–you were not inhospitable nor rude to provide them with two places to sleep instead of one. If they knew of your beliefs and felt a need to openly tell you they wouldn’t be availing themselves of the dual accomodations, that would be rude to you. What if you knew they were already sharing a bed on a regular basis? They still might have wanted to make the pretense of sleeping in separate rooms, for the sake of the children. The possibility is not that far-fetched!
If you actually said, “I’m going to make you sleep in separate rooms”, that was rude. Again: you were implying that they would not make the moral choice without you there to force it on them. That is a rather arrogant thing to imply, to say the least, even if it is totally correct! If you made the same wrong decision that you are implying that you expect them to make, then I’d have to admit that hypocrisy is also a fair charge against you.
To use another example, let us say that you have relatives who are very messy eaters. If you invite them for dinner and inform them that you are going to make them wear bibs or even that you were going to force them to use proper table manners, that would be rude. Maybe you’d like to be able to do it, maybe their past behavior seems to warrant it, but it is out of line. Rather, as a host you are required to provide the means for proper behavior–that is, provide napkins, even if you know they’re such slobs that they never use them–and then graciously overlook their failures as much as humanly possible.
Children can be taught to understand the two principles at work here: that is, the principle of providing guests with the means to follow house rules combined with the principle that it is also hospitable to overlook the failures of guests as much as possible, too.
Unless you proposed to sit watch between their rooms so one couldn’t sneak over to sleep with the other–which would be insulting because even if your mistrust is well-placed, it is rude to openly imply that you do not trust them–you were not inhospitable nor rude to provide them with two places to sleep instead of one. If they knew of your beliefs and felt a need to openly tell you they wouldn’t be availing themselves of the dual accomodations, that would be rude to you. What if you knew they were already sharing a bed on a regular basis? They still might have wanted to make the pretense of sleeping in separate rooms, for the sake of the children. The possibility is not that far-fetched!
If you actually said, “I’m going to make you sleep in separate rooms”, that was rude. Again: you were implying that they would not make the moral choice without you there to force it on them. That is a rather arrogant thing to imply, to say the least, even if it is totally correct! If you made the same wrong decision that you are implying that you expect them to make, then I’d have to admit that hypocrisy is also a fair charge against you.
To use another example, let us say that you have relatives who are very messy eaters. If you invite them for dinner and inform them that you are going to make them wear bibs or even that you were going to force them to use proper table manners, that would be rude. Maybe you’d like to be able to do it, maybe their past behavior seems to warrant it, but it is out of line. Rather, as a host you are required to provide the means for proper behavior–that is, provide napkins, even if you know they’re such slobs that they never use them–and then graciously overlook their failures as much as humanly possible.
Children can be taught to understand the two principles at work here: that is, the principle of providing guests with the means to follow house rules combined with the principle that it is also hospitable to overlook the failures of guests as much as possible, too.
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Adam_Michael
Guest
I just want to take a moment to say thank you to everybody that replied.
Thank you!
I am surprised that the thread received so many responses! I learned a lot from reading the post and many of them helped me see things in a different light. I appreciate ya’lls time.
Thank you!
I am surprised that the thread received so many responses! I learned a lot from reading the post and many of them helped me see things in a different light. I appreciate ya’lls time.
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