Did I make a mistake in confession in counselling

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ElizabethsHope

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Hi all. I am very new and actually nervous about asking. I suffered with an issue of some gravity for over 10 years. It actually drove me put of the Catholic church for a while. My new pastor agreed to talk with me about it. I got most of it off of my chest and he had some excellent advice about a delicate subject. The problem is that now he is avoiding me. ( I thought I was being paranoid but as I we leaving Mass a friend I was with actually said ‘wow what did you do to him?’- she had NO idea I had met with him.) we use to be able to talk outside of Church when wed run into one another but now he actually stays on just the outskirts of conversational circles. In sick over it as I feel I really must gave done something awful to make my pastor even stay away. I did try to email him. A simple thank you for his time. No response. I we away so long and finally thought Is found my way back. I can’t tell you how hard it was to even make that appointment. Please any insight? What should I gave done or not done?
 
If it was sexual in nature the priest is probably trying to protect himself. When it comes to all things sex priests are understandably touchy at the moment. Let it go. If you feel too off-put find another parish.
 
Thank you so much for teplying! I have been in such a panic that I had done the absolute wrong thing and perhaps I have. I will be off to another parish this week and keep my spiritual counselling needs as a private matter between me and God. I was very naive.
 
ElizabethsHope said:
Thank you so much for teplying! I have been in such a panic that I had done the absolute wrong thing and perhaps I have. I will be off to another parish this week and keep my spiritual counselling needs as a private matter between me and God. I was very naive.
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I don’t think you’ve done the wrong thing per se. I think that we live in a difficult reality for many priests who have no idea of how to protect themselves. He may have been able to give excellent counsel. He may be a very good man. But perhaps he’s just not prepared to facilitate a friendship when he knows what he now does.

You have to understand the climate we live in. Men are being validly accused of misconduct, but many, I’m sure, are being fasley accused. Men live in fear of that.
 
Dont stay away from the church. You did the right thing in going to confession and being honest. If the Lord teaches us to forgive then a Priest should know better. He has the problem now not you.
 
I thank everyone so much for these heart felt responses. Deep down I knew this issue… Sexual though it may be and having nothing to do with any current situation…might put a division between me and this church. I guess I had yo take a chance. My soul has been so tormented for so long I felt a barrier to the sacraments and full communion with the church. Does that make sense? I had to be delicate but I had to let go of what was done as well. I feel bad I upset him. I feel bad I don’t feel comfortable around this church anymore BUT I at least feel like I can breathe and get beyond my past even if it means changing the church of my present.
 
Hi you sound a sensitive but beautiful soul that needed to get a lot off her mind. I think it is such a shame that after being so honest you intend to find another church. Just remember that Priests are human and are not whiter than white themselves.
 
Believe me I totally understand that AND the change is not just about my discomfort but about his as well. This day and age does make it all very touchy. I don’t want to have anyone feel as if they are in an awkward situation . I am very greatful he did actually listen. Beyond greatful. Blessed.
 
This to me is simple. Speak to the Priest and don’t leave the church. By leaving the church you take the problem with you. Remember when you go to confession it is God that forgives you not your Priest. God bless you.
 
jason69 said:
This to me is simple. Speak to the Priest and don’t leave the church. By leaving the church you take the problem with you. Remember when you go to confession it is God that forgives you not your Priest. God bless you.
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Don’t leave the Catholic Church.

Leaving the parish may be prudent for all involved.
 
I will never leave the catholic church again. The paris, yes. I did try to contact him via a thank you email and then left a message with the secretary. Just can’t seem to connect for a brief conversation. All good. Just sad. It was the feeling I did something wrong that has been eatting at me. You all have been great with your replies. Thank you!
 
I wish you well. A friend of mine told a minister that he was bi-sexual and the minister said he couldn’t handle the situation. He said he had to pass it on to another member of the church who was higher up. The person he refereed him to laught at him and said he did not need to refer it. He then spent a long time away from the church but eventually went back and faced the preacher and told him that the reason he stayed away was because he made him feel uncomfortable. The minister realised that he should not have refered him to someone else. So the lesson in this is don’t ask a human to justify what or who you are as God is the only one that can do that, so confess it to him.
 
Well , not so simple I would say, actually I had a similar situation were I thought the priest was trying to avoid me (you can see post here ) , and after following council both from the forum and from some church member, I decided to talk to the priest and ask him if there was a problem or something.
Well first of all, I didn’t know this priest well even though I’ve been coming to this church on and off for about 5years ,so it felt a bit awkward asking him "I’ve noticed you a bit distant’, cause really why should I be the one making the approach and not him.
Second thing , his answer did not satisfy me (he said he had not been feeling well) .
In the end I still have a very hard time believing priest when then say ’ oh just come into the church, it’s for everyone’ when in reality , as soon as you step into the door, they are making all sorts of judgement ( and I truly believe this was the real reason he was keeping at a distance from me).
So I don’t know if I am going to come back to the church, because talking to him hasn’t help at all.
 
I can not believe how instantly at home and helped I have felt posting here. I should have done it a long time ago. I will let you all know what happens.
 
Drop it.
He’s busy.
Either forget it and focus on Christ or find another parish.
Give the man a break. People all think the parish priest has to be their best friend. It’s unreasonable, and frankly a bit needy.
Pray for him and his peace, and you yourself need to put this “issue” out of your mind and life. You’ll be happier if you let it go.
As X said, if it was a sexual thing, he probably does not wish to revisit that conversation. Be kind. Drop it.
 
I actually had “dropped it”, finally put it behind me. My issue, the one I laid bare here, was merely to ask other Catholics if I should leave for his comfort, which seems logical for everyone( leave the parish not catholicism) or to discover if may be I had truly done something wrong as I have been away from the church for a while and am a bit confused on some protocols. I have not approached him at all but to try and say good bye after mass or hello if we should meet out in the real world. I was counselled, confessed and went back into the world better myself. Was hoping. I didn’t make him uncomfortable or having issues himself. I hope that’s clear?
 
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Do not be judgmental. Remember what Jesus said by saying about “He that throws the first stone”.
 
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