Did I Mortally Sin?

[Skyhighblue34]

How do I know if I have lusted? This morning, while I was still in bed, I was sexually aroused. I have been clean of my masturbation habit for a month and a week, but I couldn’t get sexual activity out of my head. In fact I enjoyed it a little and I thought about girls for a short while, but no one in particular, more like sex in general. Then I decided against that and proceeded to just touch myself instead, avoiding those thoughts. Pretty soon, I went to the bathroom to continue. At that point I just wanted to touch and at least avoid the thoughts. But I caught myself before I could go any further and prayed to Jesus to help. Soon afterward, I got up and left without continuing. I asked for forgiveness from Jesus, and I’ve had faith all day that I didn’t commit a mortal sin. Still though, in the back of my mind I can’t stop questioning whether I’m just fooling myself and Jesus has already left my heart. My guess is that the devil wants to me to think that, trying to confuse me. But then again, if I really did mortally sin, wouldn’t the devil not want me to know and just continue on foolishly thinking I hadn’t sinned? So what I’m confused on is if the initial thinking of sex qualifies for lusting… Please excuse the amount of detail for this embarrassing question, but I really need some clarification on this one. Thanks~

 

[ACanthony]

Hello there. Take solace in the fact that many people have this problem and many fall short in the area of purity. I know I do. It is something I pray continuously for, and it is an area I know I always need to be on guard. But, my friend, purity of heart will give a person much peace, as I am sure you know.

I don’t think anyone can tell you objectively if this matter you described is a mortal sin, and this is really just a matter between you and your priest. However, to me, it sounds like you woke up aroused which is completely normal (now, to help this problem I urge you to pray for purity before you go to bed). The arousal certainly made you tempted. Temptation is not a sin, not in the least! After all, our Savior Jesus was tempted by the devil, and He never sinned. It is what we do with that temptation which makes it sinful or not sinful. Lustful thinking, which you described, is certainly a sin, but since you were being tempted, it sounds like you only had a partial consent to this. And yes, you certainly were very close to giving in to the sin of masturbation (which objectively is a mortal sin but varies in all cases depending upon one’s psychological makeup, past addiction, and will). But you did not give in. You resisted that temptation.

I highly urge you to be on guard immediately and persevere in prayer. Go to Confession as soon as you can, as Confession will make us stronger. My remedy for purity is a rosary per day, and also asking St. Maria Goretti for purity of heart.

Also, in the future, catch yourself when these thoughts first come on. Because when these thoughts go unnoticed, your efforts will not be of any use. They need to be defeated at the onset. What I do whenever I notice myself thinking lustfully is immediately say “Jesus have mercy on me, a sinner.” I do this with other thoughts too. It prevents a slippery slope into thinking sinfully in other areas.

May God bless you and may He give you peace. I do have a question for you though. Do you think Jesus wants you to focus on this matter and keep focusing on what type of sin you committed or does our Lord want us all to focus on Him and remain focused on His Loving Presence in our lives? Certainly, look to Christ. We all, all fall short of the glory, and thus analyzing and over analyzing our actions will not get us to our goal (although a good self examination is always good, but the analysis of a particular sin repeatedly is for naught). I will be praying for you, my friend, and please pray to St. Maria Goretti, who was an awesome example of chastity and dedication to Jesus. Please, too, pray for me (Anthony) and all those who struggle in purity. I need prayer for purity and the gift of patience.

 

[George_Stegmeir]

Why don’t you go to Confession on Saturday, that is only 3 days away, and discuss this matter with the priest? That way, you will kill two birds with one stone: You will get a difinitive answer, and if necessary receive absolution for the sin.
You should really discuss such private things with a priest face to face.That is what Confession is for. I doubt seriously you can get an absolute answer to such questions on the internet.

 

[devoutchristian]

It should be noted that Satan does not know for certain whether or not you are in a state of mortal sin. He probably has a better idea than you do, but he doesn’t know for sure.

 

[Beryllos]

It sounds like you were wrestling with the devil and you beat him this time. Good for you!

To the previous comments, all I can add is the observation that in your moment of weakness you prayed, which is a powerful expression of faith and your love of God, and by the grace of God you “caught yourself” and overcame the temptation. That is awesome.

My non-expert opinion is that you committed a venial sin, since you directed your thoughts back to God, you prayed, and you chose to do the right thing. Go soon to Reconciliation and ask the priest. My advice is, in the future, try to avoid going to the brink like that. See if you can turn away from temptation when you first become aware of it.

Peace and Blessings to you.