Did I prioritize wrong?

[carmel2013]

Hello:

About a year ago, our pastor asked me to take a leadership position in the church. After I prayed, I accepted the position, which is quite demanding and for, frankly, very low pay. Throughout this past year, I’ve never really felt comfortable in the role, perhaps because there was a lot to absorb.

Our pastor is leaving. At roughly the time his departure was announced, I was offered and accepted another position similar to one I had also been doing at the same time. (Yes, I’m working two jobs, one from home.) Because of family issues and this better paying job, I’ve already told our new pastor that I need to step back from the leadership role.

Now, I’ve heard through the grapevine that my replacement is quite different from what we’ve always had. I should say we are a traditionally minded parish and it seems that our new pastor and my replacement are not. I feel guilty for not staying on and perhaps stemming the tremendous changes ahead in our parish. (Though I also feel that even had I presented my views on matters, I would still be obligated to obey our pastor if he decided otherwise.)

Some people have told me, “God first, family second.” However, God made me a spouse and parent before He made me a church leader.

Should I try to get my position back? (I’m still in it for the next few weeks.)

Thanks in advance. Please pray for me, our parish, and our new leaders.

 

[CilladeRoma]

You are putting God first, as He is who called you to the vocation of spouse and parent.
You must do what is right for you and your family first.
What happens in your parish with a change of leadership is not your responsibility.

Prayers for you and your parish.

 

[Irishmom2]

Perhaps you only need to thank God for offering you the new opportunity at a time when a new pastor makes changes in your old job. Move on with gratitude, not regret, and be at peace.

 

[Seagull]

They paid you very low wages - that’s on them.

Some church’s - get what they pay for -

I wouldn’t be worried over your replacement - lol
Be a good spouse and a good parent - that cant - be replaced

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I should say we are a traditionally minded parish and it seems that our new pastor and my replacement are not. I feel guilty for not staying on and perhaps stemming the tremendous changes ahead in our parish.

I don’t think you should presume that there is going to be some “tremendous change” for the worse in your parish just because a new pastor who’s different from the old pastor is coming. It’s entirely possible the Bishop decided your parish needs a guy just like New Pastor to be in charge.

Nor do I think it’s a good attitude to be trying to get your job back so you can “stem” or counteract whatever changes the new pastor might want to make. I sure wouldn’t want a staff member working under me who was trying to undermine my leadership plan, and the new pastor isn’t going to appreciate it either.

You also said you had family issues and the new job pays better so I think you need to put your family first to be honest and not be seeing yourself as some kind of Lone Ranger going up against this new pastor who you don’t even know. You need to give him a chance and that probably would include picking staff people who will support him in his role.

I’d say just move on with your life and give somebody else a chance to work with the new pastor.

 

[carmel2013]

Thank you. I needed that dose of humility. I hadn’t meant to come off as a “Lone Ranger” but I see how that impression came across. Mea culpa. I am not the type to undercut authority and if I had stayed, I would have been obedient to the new pastor, even had I strongly disagreed with his decisions.
I won’t get into the particulars but there already tremendous changes afoot that are actually quite painful to see – by me and by many others.
There’s a program I’ve heard of called “The Amazing Parish” program. While we did not participate in it here, we have had an amazing parish and sadly, it looks like it is going away because of internal politics by our bishop and others.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Thank you for your thoughtful response.

I understand that sometimes a new pastor and changes are not really something people look forward to. I am not anxious for my current pastors to leave their posts as you just don’t know what you’re going to get in their place. We had a pastor at my hometown church some years ago who I did not like and I didn’t think he did great things for our parish church, but I have had to set that aside and just pray for him (and now for his soul as he passed away a year or two ago).

I do think it’s important that he be given a chance though. You can certainly introduce yourself to him, explain that you used to be (whatever position) and that you had to leave due to family matters, but if you can help your successor to find anything or understand anything better then you would be willing to spend a little time assisting. That might be a happy medium where you get to pass on your knowledge and expertise without having to rush back into a job that you really wanted to leave anyway for other reasons.

God bless you and your parish and I hope the new pastor turns out to be a positive.

 

[yankeesouth]

Well we don’t know the specifics. Is some liberal group trying to make extreme changes from the Traditional parish that you and others are accustomed to? Anyway your concern for the parish is admirable and sure it could be that God is calling you to stay active. But it seems that decisions and changes have already been made so I’m not sure you would even be able to get your old job back. You certainly could still keep track of what is going on and make your concerns known as a member of the parish and your influence would count for something being that you occupied a place of leadership in the past.