Did I provide the right advice?

[billpenn]

My sister expressed a tiny interest in beginning to attend Mass, and going to confession.

During a discussion, I indicated that persisting obstinately in committing acts that you know to be sinful is a big problem, e.g., if you confess having had pre-marital sex, and leave the confessional without any intention of stopping, that obstinacy in persisting in that sin without true intention to try to stop means that the absolution is not “effective.”

If you are truly sorry for the sin, and walk out of the confessional resolved to TRY to stop committing that sin, and you fail and sin again despite your efforts and sincere intention of avoiding the sin, that’s OK - but knowing that you will continue to commit the sin because you want to is not OK.

Was I correct?

 

[KCT]

I can’t answer the question, because I don’t know your sister, your relationship w/ her or the situation.

In general, I think it’s a good idea to ask the Holy Spirit for guidance before such conversations. Hopefully you did that and said what she needed to hear. —KCT

 

[UKcatholicGuy]

Yes, I believe you gave good advice. And you’re right: if you go to confession with no intention of ending the sinful behavior, the confession is invalid. One of the necessary requirements of a valid confession is firm purpose of amendment, that is, going to confession with the firm purpose to amend your life.

Your sister is lucky to have someone like you to give her solid Catholic advice.

God bless!

 

[Anima_Christi]

Yes, I believe you gave good advice. And you’re right: if you go to confession with no intention of ending the sinful behavior, the confession is invalid. One of the necessary requirements of a valid confession is firm purpose of amendment, that is, going to confession with the firm purpose to amend your life.

Your sister is lucky to have someone like you to give her solid Catholic advice.

God bless!

As I understand it, the intention to end sinful behavior for a confession to be valid only applies to mortal sins, but I invite correction.

 

[Veritas41]

My sister expressed a tiny interest in beginning to attend Mass, and going to confession.

During a discussion, I indicated that persisting obstinately in committing acts that you know to be sinful is a big problem, e.g., if you confess having had pre-marital sex, and leave the confessional without any intention of stopping, that obstinacy in persisting in that sin without true intention to try to stop means that the absolution is not “effective.”

If you are truly sorry for the sin, and walk out of the confessional resolved to TRY to stop committing that sin, and you fail and sin again despite your efforts and sincere intention of avoiding the sin, that’s OK - but knowing that you will continue to commit the sin because you want to is not OK.

Was I correct?

That’s always been my understanding – perfect contrition means being truly sorry for sin and not intending to commit it again.

 

[billpenn]

As I understand it, the intention to end sinful behavior for a confession to be valid only applies to mortal sins, but I invite correction.

The one that I know about it pre-marital sex…so yes, mortal.

I was concerned about saying that to her, because I didn’t want to “turn her off” to confession…but then again, I don’t believe that things can be sugar-coated.

 

[Verbum]

Hi billpen,

What you said is correct. Perhaps you should have added that everyone is welcome to Mass. Communion is not a must.

Step by step is best.

Verbum

 

[billpenn]

Hi billpen,

What you said is correct. Perhaps you should have added that everyone is welcome to Mass. Communion is not a must.

Step by step is best.

Verbum

Yep! I agree! I suggested that she first attend Mass with my wife and me and just not receive Communion. She was supposed to come with us yesterday, but didn’t , and “promised” she would come next Sunday…

 

[Cristiano]

My sister expressed a tiny interest in beginning to attend Mass, and going to confession.

During a discussion, I indicated that persisting obstinately in committing acts that you know to be sinful is a big problem, e.g., if you confess having had pre-marital sex, and leave the confessional without any intention of stopping, that obstinacy in persisting in that sin without true intention to try to stop means that the absolution is not “effective.”

If you are truly sorry for the sin, and walk out of the confessional resolved to TRY to stop committing that sin, and you fail and sin again despite your efforts and sincere intention of avoiding the sin, that’s OK - but knowing that you will continue to commit the sin because you want to is not OK.

Was I correct?

I think that she should go to confession anyway. While some of her sins may not be absolved (and she must be aware of it) others will be and that will start a cycle of good behaviors in trying to get rid of sinful habits one at the time. I would hesitate to read her heart or force her to confess to us, but I would not hesitate to make things clear like you did. Charity comes from the Truth. We must be careful in not pushing people away from confession because that is a way to induce people to doubt the sanctifying power of Holy Spirit. When we start to accept Grace from a simple trickle we will receive It from a flowing river.

 

[palmas85]

My sister expressed a tiny interest in beginning to attend Mass, and going to confession.

During a discussion, I indicated that persisting obstinately in committing acts that you know to be sinful is a big problem, e.g., if you confess having had pre-marital sex, and leave the confessional without any intention of stopping, that obstinacy in persisting in that sin without true intention to try to stop means that the absolution is not “effective.”

If you are truly sorry for the sin, and walk out of the confessional resolved to TRY to stop committing that sin, and you fail and sin again despite your efforts and sincere intention of avoiding the sin, that’s OK - but knowing that you will continue to commit the sin because you want to is not OK.

Was I correct?

Whats counts is the commitment to stop the sin. If you are truly going to try to stop sinning and you fall back into sin despite trying not to its all right, God knows that we will stumble from time to time. I believe the corect phrase is a firm purpose of committment. If on the other hand, you confess and know that you will be back in the same situation anyway, then that confession was no good in the first place and any absolution received is no good.

Confessing a sin without hving that firm purpose of amendment is meaningless. It may fool the Priest and maybe even fool the one confessing, but it will not fool God,. who can see into your heart.

You gave very good advice, don’t worry.

 

[Verbum]

Hi Cristiano,

I think that she should go to confession anyway. While some of her sins may not be absolved (and she must be aware of it) others will be and that will start a cycle of good behaviors in trying to get rid of sinful habits one at the time.

Whoa! One must confess all mortal sins and have the firm purpose of not committing them again. If I confess a mortal sin without this firm purpose, then my whole confession is not valid. Firm purpose does not mean that you are sure you won’t sin again. It means that you are determined to do your best, taking means to avoid sin.

Verbum

 

[Cristiano]

Hi Cristiano,

I think that she should go to confession anyway. While some of her sins may not be absolved (and she must be aware of it) others will be and that will start a cycle of good behaviors in trying to get rid of sinful habits one at the time.

Whoa! One must confess all mortal sins and have the firm purpose of not committing them again. If I confess a mortal sin without this firm purpose, then my whole confession is not valid. Firm purpose does not mean that you are sure you won’t sin again. It means that you are determined to do your best, taking means to avoid sin.

Verbum

I am not saying that her confession would be valid and that she can receive communion. I agree with you on the necessary conditions for the sacrament of reconciliation. My point is that confession is the first step toward reconciliation, and like everything else practice is of help. During confession the priest has also the opportunity to work with her in forming her conscience, even if he is not to absolve her because of her reservations.

 

[Verbum]

Hi Cristiano,

Well, I wouild not encourage someone to make an invalid confession. She can just go to the priest, in or out of the confessional, and have a counselling session.

Verbum