Did I say something wrong at confession? Do I need to go back?

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Ok, this may seem a bit off the wall, But… I was at confession at the weekend. Father (he is a cistercian monk) is elderly and Chatty After saying the first thing. He started asking me questions, nothing too in depth. he inquired, you have a son.? I tried to say Daughter but “fla, fla fla” came out instead I didn’t correct this. I didn’t mind as he must have taken me for someone else, and if felt a bit rude on my part to but in and correct him.

He asked about my Job. I look after children. And how many I look after… Now, I said 6… I have 7, but 6 came out. now I don’t generally have 7 any any one time, it happens on an odd occasion, I can have between 1-5 sometimes 6 rarely 7. I just feel like “I told a Big Lie, to the priest, in the confessional” It’s eating me up.

He did ask me another question ‘can I a afford to give?’ I didn’t give a strait answer.

( My mum left me her house when she died, I rent it out and, after the bills etc what is left I divide between my sisters and myself. sometimes my sister can ask for more than she is entitled ( or, In my opinion what that entitlement can mean). can I give it to her, well yes, if my own job is stable but that can change in a heart beat to a No.)

This may seem the silliest and most trivial thing in the world, but it is really, really bothering me. Do I need to go back to confession. Is it a big sin? or, a wee one? I really cant discern one-way or the other.
 
kle said:
This may seem the silliest and most trivial thing in the world, but it is really, really bothering me. Do I need to go back to confession. Is it a big sin? or, a wee one? I really cant discern one-way or the other.
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Sounds like scrupulosity may be at work here. If you often are concerned that the smallest thing you do is a sin, then you need to get some guidance from your priest.

You didn’t sin at all, yet it is “eating you up” and it is “really, really bothering” you. And you think it was a “big sin” and can’t discern.

That sounds like something is really off internally. Because there isn’t any sin here anywhere in your post.
 
kle said:
Do I need to go back to confession
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No. You misspoke (by mistake) and you were polite enough to not want to say a direct “no” that was in your heart. It’s all good.

If you wish, take @1ke’s advice and talk to a priest about the potential of your scrupulosity. 👍
 
You don’t need to go back to Confession. You were put on the spot before you had hardly begun your Confession and your responses were more than understandable under those circumstances.

If you neglected to confess a mortal sin because the priest didn’t give you an opportunity to confess it than bring it to your next Confession. In the meantime, all is well.

Be at peace.
 
It’s possible that your priest may be suffering from ailments of old age, a beginning of loss of the good priest’s faculties perhaps, so if there is another priest in the parish, I’d feel I should speak to him about this.
Other people may have serious issues for Confession that may not be properly addressed and so be left in a state of anxiety. If there is no other priest i the parish, I would feel it a responsibility to alert the diocese, for both the sake of the priest and of more vulnerable penitents.

Confession isn’t a place to ask for donations, nor a social occasion tor chitchat about work and children, and not about the confession and absolution of sins, an sometimes including appropriate spiritual counsel…
You were put on a spot, and were probably shocked at the question.

Confession can be a serious matter for souls, and if your dear elderly priest is not able to properly function in Confession, my concern would be for the priest’s welfare, and for protection of other penitents who come to Confession with sins they need to have lifted from soul and conscience.

Asking people in this way for money in Confession , especially someone like yourself who is struggling with many responsibilities (outside Mass contribution) could easily cause scandal, though the dear elderly priest may not be aware he’s outside what should be in confession, his younger self would have been horrified, so he needs to be protected.

You already were flabbergasted by other things the priest said and couldn’t answer coherently, so it sin’t surprising that you were thrown by his question about donations. If a sin, a venial one

Any of us can lose the finer points of our ability to think or function, and then we need care.
Saint Louis Martin, Saint Therese’s Dad, ended up with this sort of issue, to his daughters’ sadness.
God bless your priest.
 
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You know, this reminds me now of a strange and tragic incident I had in Confession about 8 years ago. Keep in mind that I was suffering from a deep major depressive episode at the time:

I almost always go to Confession with a list, the practice of which had been approved by my spiritual director. An elderly, retired priest in the area was hearing confessions, covering for one of our regular priests. I went in, sat face-to-face with the priest, started with the “Bless me Father…” and began to confess my sins, list in hand. Before I could get two sins out, venial sins only, the priest began to berate me, asking me, “don’t you know that God loves you?” and who knows what else he said - it was quite a tirade. What I remember is, as I say it, that he beat me over the head with the Mercy of God. I don’t remember trying to get through the rest of my confession or if absolution was granted but I do remember bursting out of the confessional, falling to the floor, and crying out loud. I left the church building and screamed at the top of my lungs in anguish.

I am better today: mentally, physically, spiritually. No priest will ever get away with berating me for confessing only venial sins again as I come armed with quotes from Canon Law and the Catechism of the Catholic Church supporting the confession of venial sins. I haven’t had to use them but I feel better and stronger knowing I have backup.

Making statements or asking questions during a penitent’s confession, especially not specifically related to the sin just confessed, is bad form. My regular parish priests always leave their questions until I am finished recounting my sins, questions to help them clarify the nature of a particular sin or sins.

As @Trishie implied, it could be that your priest was having a bad day or is loosing some of his faculties. Maybe that’s what was happening with my priest 8 years ago. I’ve been to confession to him once since then, list in hand, and there was no problem. I pray for him and for all my confessors now.

A PRAYER FOR ONE’S CONFESSOR

In asking of You, O my God, the graces of which I am in need, may I not, without ingratitude, forget before You, him whom You have chosen from among your ministers to reconcile me to You by the Sacrament of Confession?
I ask you then, O my God, to adorn his soul with the virtues befitting the functions of this most sacred ministry with which You have invested him.
Grant him the faith of St. Peter,
the charity of St. Paul,
the firmness of St. Chrysostom,
the evangelical liberty of St. Ambrose,
the lights of St. Augustine,
the piety of St. Bernard,
the zeal of St. Charles Borromeo,
the mildness of St. Francis of Sales,
and the humility of St. Vincent de Paul.
Guide him Yourself, O Lord, in all his actions, that after having been here below a prudent and faithful dispenser of Your mysteries, he may hereafter receive from Your bountiful hands the bright crown You have promised in a blessed eternity, to the priests who shall have consecrated their lives to bring back their fellow creatures from the ways of error, and to conduct them in the paths of justice and peace.
Amen.
 
That’s a wonderful prayer, Mary_Ellen
I’ve bookmarked your post.

I’m happy that you are in a happier,place than you were at that episode you shared.
We can go through some very rough times in our lives. Clearly God used that episode to make you stronger, and despite the distress, you’ll never forget that unsolicited ‘sermon’ on God’s mercy!!!
Even Saint Pio would give some penitents a strict reaction if he knew through God’s grace that it was the treatment that would spur a soul to greater insight.

God’s lessons can be hard.
I’ve always loved these words of Saint Teresa of Avila/of Jesus

“Oh, my Lord!” she exclaimed, with her usual loving familiarity, “when wilt Thou cease from scattering obstacles in our path?” “Do not complain, daughter,” the Divine Master answered, “for it is ever thus that I treat My friends.” “Ah, Lord, it is also on that account that Thou hast so few!”

https://fauxtations.wordpress.com/2...-avila-if-this-is-how-you-treat-your-friends/
 
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We as Catholics seem to worry to much about what we say at confession. The point that we go God sees. I believe and some may disagree but the point is we all will forget some things we mean to confess. God knows and your presence going to the confessional is enough. Your sins are forgiven.

Don’t worry to much on the wrongs you do, although some very traditional Catholics will disagree; we take sin to much to heart. For a while I was going to confession multiple times a week and felt like a failure. Confession isn’t supposed to be like that. When we get to that point we are acting like Pharisees who were so observant of the law they forgot that God is all good and forgiving and sometimes we need to overpass a commandment to fulfill another. Such as if your son fell into a cistern on the Sabbath should we not save him because of it being the Sabbath?

Be careful with this. Martin Luther fell for this trap. He was obsessed with confession and it ate him up to the point he couldn’t comprehend Grace unless it came to accepting Christ alone. The sacrament of Reconciliation isn’t about dread but about letting us free. Some say you can’t take part in the Eucharist until you confess your mortal sins, but I disagree. We all sin. And in this world lust is all over and it is sometimes overwhelming. God knows we are trying to free ourselves. Take heart
God bless.
 
Sorry, I should have mentioned that the questions I was asked were concerning what I had confessed… I just didn’t want to go into detail about that. ( I wasn’t asked for donations)

That is a lovely prayer Mary-Ellen thank you for posting it, and I am glad you are in a better place now.

Thank you 1ke for pointing out scrupulously I have found a web site ‘scrupulous anonymous’ that has been helpful
 
jas84173 said:
Some say you can’t take part in the Eucharist until you confess your mortal sins, but I disagree. We all sin.
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Careful here. The “some” who says that one cannot receive while in the state of mortal sin is the Magesterium of the Catholic Church.
 
Sounds like you have terrible scruples. In a confession you just say what you genuinely feel sorry about and thats it. If you get this nervous about confession then of course you re accidentally going to say wrong things by mistake. But this is not a sin
 
Well there human too so they can be Pharisees if they want.
Remember Jesus taught that we shouldn’t be so preoccupied with the law. I am Catholic but I go with what Jesus taught. If he had no problem breaking the Sabbath laws of the time I am sure he would love to forgive me and be in me.
 
That is based on scripture
27 Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. 28 Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. 30 That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.[d] 31 But if we judged ourselves truly, we should not be judged. 32 But when we are judged by the Lord, we are chastened[e] so that we may not be condemned along with the world.
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1 Cor 11 (RSVCE)
 
Paul never even met Jesus how would he know what Christ meant?
 
It’s a letter Paul of Tarsus wrote to the Church in Corrinth. Is Paul God?
 
Yah it’s scripture. It’s just unfortunate most of our New Testament is letters by a guy who never even knew Jesus and spent the first couple years following the resurrection trying to kill the Diciples. Who killed Stephen anyways? And he’s out spokesman.
 
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