Did I sin by separating from my alcoholic husband?

[pianoplayingmom]

I have a friend who tells me I committed a mortal sin by separating from my husband of 26 years. My husband is an active alcoholic which was the primary reason I left him. When we separated, my husband agreed that it was the best thing for both of us, so it became a mutual separation at that point. My friend claims I “kicked him out”, thereby doing a grave injustice to him. I asked my archbishop if I could remain separated and apply for an annulment (after I was told I should have asked his permission to separate in the first place). He readily gave his approval. While I have moral certitude that my marriage was invalid, I am having a difficult time proving it was my husband’s flaws, as well as mine, that made it invalid. My friend tells me I am mortally sinning by publicly accusing my husband of wrongdoing when I can’t seem to prove it and, if I can only prove invalidity by me, I have no right to petition the tribunal for an annulment. I cannot go back and validate my marriage…my husband says our marriage was over with the civil divorce and he wants nothing to do with reconciliation. I think that, since I have moral certitude that my marriage is invalid, I have the right to petition the tribunal to review it. Can you help me sort this out?

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Dear p,

You have to stop listening to your friend. While it would be prudent to check with a priest before separating, it is not required and certainly it is not sinful. Most often to remain with a practicing alcoholic is to enable him or her to continue drinking. You did the RIGHT thing!

What will determine the validity or invalidity of your marriage depends on the circumstances at the time of your wedding—not what happened later. You don’t have to prove anything. This is the work of the tribunal. What you have to do is answer its questions and pray. I will pray also.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.