Did I violate priest's order/advice?

[Kathrin]

Back in my home country after a long and wonderful time abroad, very melancholic now, but fortunately already thinking about the next time I can go back there… after working a bit. Had to leave many friends behind for a while, a wonderful community of sharing I had become a part of, mild nights by the seaside and a place where I had begun to really feel at home.

Now a problem:
I asked a priest if it was ak to tell a friend I’d rather travel alone because I want to spend time with local people, help homeles speople, etc.
He said yes I can say I want to be alone, but not that I don’t want to be with HIM (my friend). Positive versus negative speech. I did mention quickly that it was somebody who may be a little in love with me but I not with him, but didn’t make a big point of it. I also said I had told him maybe he could come for a short time, and he said that was ok.

I talked t my friend again now and the trip came up. It is all still very much up in the open but I tend to obsess about things in advance a bit…
My friend said he understood that there were things I needed to do alone. He totally understands that.
But I also DID mention to him that if it was just the two of us it may be a bit problematic as he has some feelings for me I don’t share (the last time we were a group of four, and that was much better).
Those are two different stories and I made a point out of that, but I still worry a bit that I violated what the priest said I could and could not do.

Did i or did I not? Maybe the priest didn’t realize that that was a problem too (the one time we were alone on a trip it got a bit uncomfortable. Still we are very good friends. Just better to be a group, and not him and me alone…) But the priest said not to say I don’t want to be with him.

Now did I go against some obedience commandment? Or was it ok to mention the second fear as well?

Kathrin

 

[musicality]

Back in my home country after a long and wonderful time abroad, very melancholic now, but fortunately already thinking about the next time I can go back there… after working a bit. Had to leave many friends behind for a while, a wonderful community of sharing I had become a part of, mild nights by the seaside and a place where I had begun to really feel at home.

Now a problem:
I asked a priest if it was ak to tell a friend I’d rather travel alone because I want to spend time with local people, help homeles speople, etc.
He said yes I can say I want to be alone, but not that I don’t want to be with HIM (my friend). Positive versus negative speech. I did mention quickly that it was somebody who may be a little in love with me but I not with him, but didn’t make a big point of it. I also said I had told him maybe he could come for a short time, and he said that was ok.

I talked t my friend again now and the trip came up. It is all still very much up in the open but I tend to obsess about things in advance a bit…
My friend said he understood that there were things I needed to do alone. He totally understands that.
But I also DID mention to him that if it was just the two of us it may be a bit problematic as he has some feelings for me I don’t share (the last time we were a group of four, and that was much better).
Those are two different stories and I made a point out of that, but I still worry a bit that I violated what the priest said I could and could not do.

Did i or did I not? Maybe the priest didn’t realize that that was a problem too (the one time we were alone on a trip it got a bit uncomfortable. Still we are very good friends. Just better to be a group, and not him and me alone…) But the priest said not to say I don’t want to be with him.

Now did I go against some obedience commandment? Or was it ok to mention the second fear as well?

Kathrin

You’re ok… The priest was just offering some advice. Take the priest out of the equation for a moment, and think about whether or not you think that what you said was appropriate. I believe that you will find that you did not do anything wrong.

 

[Michael1985]

Dear Kathrin

It is wonderful to see that you are so concerned about obedience, all the saints speak of how important it is to growing in holiness. I wish more people paid attention to the value of obedience.

Yes you did do what the priest told you not to do.

However it is important to remember that you are the expert in this situation, I don‘t know how long you were talking to the priest for but I know that it wasn’t enough time to explain everything that has ever happened between you and this guy. You know how you felt when you were talking to him. Someone can give us advice for a situation but then when we get into that situation something can change. I think the fact you felt uncomfortable being alone with him, may well have been a good reason to go against the priests advice. You may have prevented someone from falling into sin, by telling him why you didn’t want to be alone. If obedience leads us or anyone else into sin, or potentially sinful situations then of course we should be disobedient.

Proverb 24:16 For though they (the virtuous) fall seven times, they will rise again; but the wicked are overthrown by calamity.” In order to fall seven times a person must get up six times. This is what differentiates the holy from the unholy. The holy do not make less mistakes than the unholy, they just get up and keep trying.

If we do something wrong we shouldn’t dwell on it, we may need to go to confession or we may need to fix the damage, but after that should look at the situation and see how we can do better in future and move on.

God bless

 

[Kathrin]

If we do something wrong we shouldn’t dwell on it, we may need to go to confession or we may need to fix the damage, but after that should look at the situation and see how we can do better in future and move on.

God bless

Do you think I need to confess this, or not? Was it a sin?

Do I have to talk about it again to the same priest? I am in a different country from him right now…

I did point out to the guy later that I didn NOT mean to say I didn’t want to travel with HIM, and that it was just important to me to have that independent time or whatever you might call it. I think he understood it that way. So I think I did amend the damage I may have made… stressing that those two things were two very different stories, the second thing having to do with our relationship in general, not with a specific trip or time… and that I’d rather travel with him than with a lot of other people… which is true…

Thank you…

Kathrin

p.s. You know, also I get this fear sometimes still that if something was a sin I must “pluck out the eye” that caused it, and usually I then find something good I’d have to pluck out, like in this example maybe that a priest in confession might order me now I have to stay home myself because wanting to go on a trip lead me to sin??? Argh, those thoughts. SO SCARY. Feeling guilty about the things that mean a lot to me, the dreams I have in my life then, because in some way, around corners even, they may have led me to sin in some small way…

 

[Michael1985]

You will have to make the descision about confession yourself, it’s a conscience thing.

With plucking out the eye we have to be so careful. I think it’s one of the tricks of the devil that he can make us run from good by showing us a fault in it.

If we did that there would be no Chrsitians anywhere in the world, they’d all be on their own private isalnd away from temptation. If that was true how would they draw anyone to Christ? If we are going to be in the world there are certinally times when we should run, and others when we should stay. We should stay in the world when we have the armour of Christ that Paul mentions in Eph, 6:10-