I don’t think so, there’s a huge difference: thoughts like these can be meaningful but can also be strong temptations against the faith. There is an abysmal (and yet very subtle) difference between seeking the truth and impugning the truth. I closely relate these thoughts to human beauty: there is nothing evil or unnatural in someone’s beauty, but a very subtle line separates a most natural admiration (which is an altruist feeling of admiration and of thanksgiving) from lust (which is a selfish distortion of beauty geared towards its possession for self-gratification)
So in simplicity of heart I don’t dwell in such thoughts, because believing in Christ being God (as I explained) is enough to trust that He’d preserve the Scriptures, particularly concerning His own words, that are the basis of Christianity and the glass through which the whole corpus of the Old Testament is read through.
The words of Christ are infinitely simple, while the most complex reasonings against them are just mazes that the mind wraps itself into until no more light is seen, giving the illusion that the argument was successful, while in truth all it did was blind more and more the mind from the simple truth. Which is why all the great Doctors of the Church have usually been able to summarize Christ’s teachings in one sentence (“I shall not want, God enough suffices”, “Love and do what you will”, just a few examples, of course), and the very Christ was able to summarize the whole Bible in one sentence: “love God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself”.
All these reasonings (for instance, the argument on the petrine primacy) are not inherent to salvation, but, rather to understanding the natural hierarchy that is to be established to bring order onto the nations, so that it may be “on earth as it is in heaven”.
And even from a purely scientific standpoint, we well-know that humans have a natural tendency to form communities, and that naturally within these communities will layers of leadership be formed, and history has shown that, from the times of the nomad tribes to the emperors to the modern democracies, as well as in the family and in businesses, there is always the need of one figure of leadership, which in its most enlightened form is a
primus inter pares or
princeps (that is, one that is not above the rest, but which the others trust as their leader). There are many other ways in which leadership arises, but at its lowest level it becomes what Hobbes calls “state of nature”, and others “survival of the fittest”…and we have seen these happen throughout history…and we must step high above the level of the animal realm, since we are endowed with an intellect far above that of other creatures.
The petrine primacy, which is fully based on the Scriptures, can be easily understood even from a non-scriptural standpoint: Christ, the invisible head of the Church, chooses one man to be the visible leader of the Church, whose office remains by succession though not by inheritance.
In fact, the hierarchy of the Church is rather extraordinary: we find the bishops, who by a succession traceable back to the apostles are the shepherds of major communities (in old times called “churches”, now “dioceses”), and priests (presbyters, elders) as their helpers within the different sections of the diocese (“parrishes”); eventually, as the number of bishops greatly increased, the honorary title of cardinal was created to designate a bishop on which other bishops relied (from which the name), and ultimately the bishop of Rome or pope is chosen among the cardinals, being the one cardinal that the cardinals trust as their leader, though we profess that God himself guides them in making the best decision.
It is no surprise that, throughout history, all sorts of governments have risen and fallen, while the Church has outlived them all, and is far from being in decadence.
Now that’s a lot of writing. Christ had a much more concise way to express this, in a few sentences: “
I am the Good Shepherd”. But He could not remain as a human leader: “
I go back to the house of the Father; And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” However, His will for the community he formed was that they did not remain without a visible leader (“
They shall be one flock with one shepherd”, He says) so He chooses one of them, whom He calls “Rock”, endows him with special graces (“
I have prayed the Father for you, that your faith may not falter, and when you come back, confirm your brethren”), and sets him as the visible shepherd (“
Do you love me more than these?" “Lord, you know everything.” "Pasce agnos meos, pasce oves meas” [where “pasce” means not just “feed”, but describes the office of the shepherd who brings lambs and sheep on green fields, gathers them together, protects them from the wolves, and goes seek for lost sheep]).