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musicality
Guest
Just curious… (I’m 18 and have no idea how often this happens today.)
Feel free to share your proposal stories too.
Feel free to share your proposal stories too.
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jwashu
Guest
I don’t know if I should vote or not… I went and asked my wife’s parents if I could ask her… it’s was pretty cool, they were pretty excited.
I could have just asked her, I knew her parent’s would be be happy about it but I wanted to do it the way I felt was right, she was the only child.
I believe it worked out best
That was the early 90s though, however I don’t think too much has changed since then.
Joe
I could have just asked her, I knew her parent’s would be be happy about it but I wanted to do it the way I felt was right, she was the only child.
I believe it worked out best
That was the early 90s though, however I don’t think too much has changed since then.Joe
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2HunnyBuns
Guest
My husband didn’t ask my parents if he could marry me. They knew it was coming. I was 21 when I got engaged and I had been dating my husband since I was 18.
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valenzuelaf
Guest
Yes I asked my Father In-laws permission before I asked my wife to marry me. Well Kinda. My wife and I both graduated from College at the same time and my plan was to ask her to marry me at the reception. At the time I didn’t plan to ask her father for permission. That said while at the reception when I finally got the nerve to ask her I went ahead and asked him for permission pretty much at the same time I asked her to marry me. It was an impromptu decision.
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jmcrae
Guest
My husband was so shy that he wrote a note on a napkin in a restaurant, that said, “If you don’t want to marry me, leave now” and then he ran off to the bathroom - when he saw that I was still sitting there when he came back, he figured everything was okay.Just curious… (I’m 18 and have no idea how often this happens today.)
Feel free to share your proposal stories too.
I don’t think it would have occurred to him to speak to my parents about it; I think he would have died of a nervous breakdown if anyone had suggested it.
He has more than made up for the unromantic proposal, though - he brings me roses and chocolates at every opportunity.
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lovemysix
Guest
No.
My parents were divorced, and we knew we had my father’s blessing. My mother would have said no, for sure. And that would have put us in the position of having to blatantly defy her wishes to get married. Not the way we wanted to start out!
We have been very happily married for over 17 years now
My parents were divorced, and we knew we had my father’s blessing. My mother would have said no, for sure. And that would have put us in the position of having to blatantly defy her wishes to get married. Not the way we wanted to start out!
We have been very happily married for over 17 years now
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Phemie
Guest
No, he proposed to me two weeks after we met by asking if I wanted a diamond for Christmas. I said “No, I’ll marry you but I hate jewelery.”
Fast forward 8 months, a few weeks before he was due to head off to Basic Training, and he was sitting at my bedside (couchside? I was miserable with gastroenteritis) and giving me the ring he had insisted I pick out. We informed my parents of our engagement that night, his parents the next day and his extended family at his parents’ 25th anniversary celebration a few weeks later.
Son-in-law, OTOH, asked DH for permission to ask DD to marry him. I took him by the shoulders afterward and said, “I truly hope that if he’d said no you were still going to ask her anyway.”
Fast forward 8 months, a few weeks before he was due to head off to Basic Training, and he was sitting at my bedside (couchside? I was miserable with gastroenteritis) and giving me the ring he had insisted I pick out. We informed my parents of our engagement that night, his parents the next day and his extended family at his parents’ 25th anniversary celebration a few weeks later.
Son-in-law, OTOH, asked DH for permission to ask DD to marry him. I took him by the shoulders afterward and said, “I truly hope that if he’d said no you were still going to ask her anyway.”
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Em_in_FL
Guest
No - he knew my parents wouldn’t be able to keep their mouths shut…
We immediately went to their house after he proposed - they were thrilled.
We immediately went to their house after he proposed - they were thrilled.
E
EEgirl
Guest
My husband did ask my parents permission before he proposed. It was very sweet.
K
Kit15
Guest
He did. I told him he had to.
Apparently my father busted his chops a little. He was doing some work in the garage when he came over (I was at work) and my husband just wandered around the house for several hours waiting for his chance but my dad wouldn’t acknowledge him until mom came over and told him they’d better start talking before she goes nuts.
My family kept it a secret for weeks. They even helped him set me up for the surprise proposal.
Apparently my father busted his chops a little. He was doing some work in the garage when he came over (I was at work) and my husband just wandered around the house for several hours waiting for his chance but my dad wouldn’t acknowledge him until mom came over and told him they’d better start talking before she goes nuts.
My family kept it a secret for weeks. They even helped him set me up for the surprise proposal.
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chevalier
Guest
Can we already start the debate?
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lifeisbeautiful
Guest
Lol, it might be my hormones, but I thought this was such a cute proposal (I even got teary eyed haha).My husband was so shy that he wrote a note on a napkin in a restaurant, that said, “If you don’t want to marry me, leave now” and then he ran off to the bathroom - when he saw that I was still sitting there when he came back, he figured everything was okay.
I don’t think it would have occurred to him to speak to my parents about it; I think he would have died of a nervous breakdown if anyone had suggested it.
He has more than made up for the unromantic proposal, though - he brings me roses and chocolates at every opportunity.
P
Phemie
Guest
SIL waited three weeks after asking for permission before he popped the question. Do you have any idea how hard it is to not tell your only daughter that her boyfriend is going to propose?!?! I was even scared to call her, lest I let the cat out of the bag. She called 5 minutes after he asked and she had a picture of the ring in my email within the hour.My family kept it a secret for weeks. They even helped him set me up for the surprise proposal.
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Simon_X
Guest
Nice poll, actually pretty original.Just curious… (I’m 18 and have no idea how often this happens today.)
Feel free to share your proposal stories too.
I answered no, but I have to say that I think it depends on the ages of the couple. For instance, my DW and I were near 30 yrs old, so we already pretty much lived on our own (not together lol) for a while and were older than most. But I would be interested to see if my theory holds up.
Thanks
L
Liberanosamalo
Guest
I didn’t know when I accepted his proposal that he had not talked to my parents first and said the things a young man needs to say before getting engaged to their daughter and asking their blessing.
The disregard for them as my parents and their rights continued on through the marriage, past the divorce and continues in his attitude that he conveys to my kids this day.
Had I known he had not bothered to ask them (even though he claimed to be so very very very traditional) I may have really reconsidered saying yes. His “traditional” outlook only meant that I as his wife was subject to him. Not a two-way street.
I’m happy for those who have cute stories to tell. Not trying to start a debate. Just figure someone has to put out the other side here that not asking the permission and blessing may indicate problems.
The disregard for them as my parents and their rights continued on through the marriage, past the divorce and continues in his attitude that he conveys to my kids this day.
Had I known he had not bothered to ask them (even though he claimed to be so very very very traditional) I may have really reconsidered saying yes. His “traditional” outlook only meant that I as his wife was subject to him. Not a two-way street.
I’m happy for those who have cute stories to tell. Not trying to start a debate. Just figure someone has to put out the other side here that not asking the permission and blessing may indicate problems.
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LilyM
Guest
Not married - as far as I know the sons-in-law have all asked my Dad’s blessing (not his permission - which he’d probably tell you ain’t his to give!). At least one BIL, however, only did so after popping the question to sis first. So we know that they would’ve married anyway, with or without.
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Guitar
Guest
Mine didn’t.
In our case it wouldn’t have been appropriate given the dynamic between us, between me and my family and the leftover baggage from his relationship with his not-that-long-deceased father.
Long story … he would have known loud and clear I would not have appreciated it, and my father would have said, “its entirely a matter for her” anyway … I honestly don’t think it occured to him to ask and even if it had, he’d have chosen not to. I’m happy either way.
(If he had asked, it would actually have been a red flag. For us. At that time. In our particular circumstances. Enough with the disclaimers?)
In our case it wouldn’t have been appropriate given the dynamic between us, between me and my family and the leftover baggage from his relationship with his not-that-long-deceased father.
Long story … he would have known loud and clear I would not have appreciated it, and my father would have said, “its entirely a matter for her” anyway … I honestly don’t think it occured to him to ask and even if it had, he’d have chosen not to. I’m happy either way.
(If he had asked, it would actually have been a red flag. For us. At that time. In our particular circumstances. Enough with the disclaimers?
)
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LongingForLight
Guest
No, and I’m glad he didn’t. My foster-father would have said “No”.
My husband’s proposal was terrible. It was so bad, I made him promise to re-do it for our five-year anniversary. No kidding - it’s coming up next April, and I’m excited
My husband’s proposal was terrible. It was so bad, I made him promise to re-do it for our five-year anniversary. No kidding - it’s coming up next April, and I’m excited
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Sillara
Guest
No, but then, he had no way of contacting my parents. They were in Japan (and he did not have their number), and I was away at college. He wanted the proposal to be a surprise, so he couldn’t ask me for their number, either.
I didn’t mind. I just wanted him!
Both my brothers-in-law asked my father, though, before proposing to my sisters. My dad was pleased.
I didn’t mind.
I just wanted him!Both my brothers-in-law asked my father, though, before proposing to my sisters. My dad was pleased.
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EmBee
Guest
It was very important to my (now husband) to get my Dad’s permission. My dad, on the other hand, isn’t very traditional. DH said my dad’s response to “May I marry your daughter” was something to the effect of: “Well, I don’t know about all that 13th century asking-permission stuff, but if you want to marry her - go for it!” Later that night, DH proposed to me in private while we were at dinner. When we came back to the house after dinner my parents were very eager to see us and my dad says “Well? WELL!?” He was pretty excitedJust curious… (I’m 18 and have no idea how often this happens today.)
Feel free to share your proposal stories too.
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