Did/would you ask your father to walk you down the aisle at your wedding?

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This notion of “giving away” is so passé.
Nobody thinks this any more.
It’s about love. Love for each other, for parents, for adult children, anyone who loves you and wishes you well.
Let’s not make divisions where there are none.
It’s not a “thing” in Catholicism. :rolleyes:
 
The priest greeted us at the back of the church. Then my maid-of-honor preceded me down the aisle, hubby followed accompanied by his brother, the best man, and I followed accompanied by my dad. Of course Dad didn’t give me away since there is no such question in the Catholic Rite. Nor was there any “You may now kiss the bride.”

Two years later, same parish, same priest, my parents accompanied my brother as he walked down the aisle and SIL was accompanied by her parents.

I only know one couple who walked down the aisle together, both were former religious, an older couple who weren’t looking for the 'fairy tale wedding." She was the diocesan catechetics coordinator and if anything she wanted to set an example.
 
As the father has quite often paid for the wedding, it is a nice touch to include him in the processional.

My dad was 5’4" and my groom 6’1" - and I am 5’3". I had the problem of was height shoes to wear to suit both men. I solved it by wearing very high heels, to suit the groom, and bending my knees slightly as I walked down the aisle with dad. I don’t think anyone noticed I slowly ‘grew’ at the altar, once dad was back in the pew. At least, nobody mentioned it. Perhaps they were too polite.
 
My dad wasn’t at my wedding (long story, but not his fault). Had we had the family wedding I had envisioned, he would almost certainly have walked me down the aisle, but I was a very recent Catholic convert at the time, so I didn’t realize there was even an issue.

For our daughters, I think we will do whatever they prefer (within the parameters of the liturgy).
 
My mom has pictures of her walking down the aisle on the arm of my grandfather at her Catholic wedding in 1959. They married in Latin pre Vatican II and Grandpa walked her down the aisle then. If it’s a Catholic teaching that it isn’t supposed to happen it was not ever enforced. My dad was in a wheel chair so my mom pushed his chair, so I guess both my parents walked me down the aisle. I have never been to a wedding in the US where the dad didn’t walk the bride, but no one has ever been asked who gives the bride away. There’s just a kiss on the cheek from dad before he takes his seat. In Mexico, the priest usually meets the couple at the door of the church and the couple walks together, but I’ve never seen it happen here.
 
My father didn’t as I don’t have any connection with him. (Long sad story).😦

My FIL wanted to but I didn’t allow him as I hadn’t gotten over what he once told his son, DH, which was : " I don’t know what you see in her" ( I had braces, some acne, typical teenage stuff) I thought " now that I’m nicer looking you want to walk with me…no way"🤷

A very good friend walked me down the aisle, just for support and because I didn’t have anyone on my side.
 
Dad escorted me down the aisle (then promptly got tangled up in my nine-foot veil and nearly tore all my hair out, but you didn’t ask about that).

Mom walked down the aisle alone; her dad died when she was 10.

I have been to Protestant weddings where the bride was given away by her parents, most recently that of the friend who would later be my matron of honor. But never a Catholic one.
 
Nope, I didn’t. Relations with him had been strained for a long time. As it happened, due to some of his behavior at the wedding I ended up cutting contact once I got back from the honeymoon, but I didn’t know that, of course, at the time I made my decision. I walked alone, and for several reasons:
  1. While I know that many women consider it a situation in which their father is escorting them to their groom rather than giving them away, and I genuinely love seeing that in functional families, Dad didn’t really raise me, was never especially supportive, and was abusive and neglectful. Despite this, if he were to walk me down the aisle he’d still see it as him giving me away because, frankly, the man’s a misogynist to the core. He’d also, and I am not kidding, probably take any time we had together as a good time to make inappropriate remarks about DH’s and my wedding night. I didn’t want to deal with that.
  2. I wanted that moment of walking down the aisle to my husband, and he wanted to see me walk down the aisle.
  3. It was meaningful to me to walk down the aisle alone because, after a lot of hard work on my part, I’d matured into a woman who could make that kind of commitment.
  4. From a strictly practical level, it would have been very like him to show up late (which he did anyway, about halfway through Mass) to the wedding, and I didn’t want to have to explain to people why he couldn’t bother to show up on time to walk me down the aisle, or deal with the emotional repercussions of that on our wedding day.
For DD and any future daughters, it’ll be up to them entirely. I’d love it if she and DH had such a good relationship that DH could walk her down the aisle as, respectively, a proud, supportive father and a strong, independent young woman who still loves her Daddy. That would be fantastic! However, it’s up to her, as I said…it’ll be interesting to see how it turns out.
 
Yes, my wonderful father walked me down the aisle. 🙂
And as an interesting side note, many years later, at my daughters Catholic wedding, her little son from a previous relationship escorted me down the aisle rather than her FIL to be.
That will remain a beautiful memory for me. 👍
 
My husband and I walked down the aisle together. The priest encouraged us to do so because he said that what is liturgically correct is for the bride and groom to walk together. Granted I don’t have a relationship with my father but my mother was expecting to walk me down the isle. My family was not too happy about it but as I told my mother, that is the correct way in a catholic wedding.
 
So far it seems the majority of the replies are from women who DID walk down the aisle with their fathers, those who didn’t were due to the father being unavailable in some way, but only one poster recalls the actual Priest asking “who gives this woman”.

It’s interesting to see that Catholic rubrics do accommodate customs from outside the Catholic faith to some extent. Unless there is a lot of liturgical abuse going on.
 
My wife’s dad walked her down the aisle. There was no ‘giving away.’ He kissed her and presented her to me.

When my niece married, her father was deceased. She had her younger brother walk her down the aisle. When they got to the front, he presented her to her groom and said “She’s all yours.”
 
My dad walked me down the aisle. As with other posters, there was no notion of my being given away. Marriage is a sacrament DH and I freely conferred upon one another.

The aisle walk was a tribute to my dad because I love him dearly and knew he would like to be involved in celebrating in our small wedding mass. We chose my mum to be the lector. The roles could have, equally, been reversed. They were chosen to communicate to our families that our marriage was taking place in the greater context of familial love. I think that’s a beautiful thing.
 
I did not want my Dad to walk me down the aisle as I wanted to walk on my own but he really wanted to so our compromise was to have both my parents walk with me.
 
Well, it’s not like bridesmaids and groomsmen are in the liturgical rubrics.

So, there is a certain amount of flexibility.

(But I agree that “giving away” is a problem both theologically and pragmatically. But I wasn’t even aware of that issue when I was a bride.)
ToeInTheWater said:
So far it seems the majority of the replies are from women who DID walk down the aisle with their fathers, those who didn’t were due to the father being unavailable in some way, but only one poster recalls the actual Priest asking “who gives this woman”.

It’s interesting to see that Catholic rubrics do accommodate customs from outside the Catholic faith to some extent. Unless there is a lot of liturgical abuse going on.
Click to expand...
 
Miss_Felicity said:
My intended wants us to walk down together, and I was thinking of having my dad walk me down. I haven’t decided yet.
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You and your intended walking down the aisle together is actually more in line with Catholic teaching.
 
My father and stepfather escorted me. There was no “giving away”.
 
ToeInTheWater said:
So far it seems the majority of the replies are from women who DID walk down the aisle with their fathers, those who didn’t were due to the father being unavailable in some way,
Click to expand...
Bride escorted by her parents and groom escorted by his parents is an option.

Also, the Church’s documents also call for the bride and groom to greet their guests before Mass. We did that also, and it was GREAT!
ToeInTheWater said:
but only one poster recalls the actual Priest asking “who gives this woman”.
Click to expand...
That is NOT in the Catholic marriage rite.
ToeInTheWater said:
So It’s interesting to see that Catholic rubrics do accommodate customs from outside the Catholic faith to some extent. Unless there is a lot of liturgical abuse going on.
Click to expand...
The two options in the rubrics are bride and groom process together, bride and groom escorted by their parents. Other options are not accommodations made by the Church.
 
my father walked me down the aisle. It’s one of the few ways a father can participate in the wedding. Also, I didn’t want to slip and fall and having arm to hang on to sure helped!😃
 
1ke said:
Bride escorted by her parents and groom escorted by his parents is an option.

Also, the Church’s documents also call for the bride and groom to greet their guests before Mass. We did that also, and it was GREAT!

The two options in the rubrics are bride and groom process together, bride and groom escorted by their parents. Other options are not accommodations made by the Church.
Click to expand...
True. In the Canadian Rite we read45. At the appointed time, the priest, vested for Mass, goes with the ministers to the door of the church, or, if more suitable, to the altar. There he greets the bride and bridegroom in a friendly manner, showing that the Church shares their joy.

Where it is desirable that the rite of welcome be omitted, the celebration of marriage begins at once with the Mass.
  1. If there is a procession to the altar, the ministers go first, followed by the priest, and then the bride and bridegroom. According to local custom, they may be escorted by at least their parents and the two witnesses. Meanwhile, the entrance song is sung. (That last sentence is a Canadian adaptation.)
    In the pastoral notes we read Another custom in our country has the groom and best man seated in the front pew, or stationed close to the front of the church. After all the guests are in their places, the bride and her attendants arrive. (The practice in some places of having the bride arrive late shows disrespect for the gathered community of worshippers.) The attendants lead the bride to the altar. She is accompanied by her father who gives her to the groom at the front, and the couple moves to their place. During this ceremony, the priest and servers wait in the sanctuary, and organ music is usually played.
This custom should be discouraged as much as possible by pastors, since it places undue emphasis on the entrance and on the bride.

It is also the wrong kind of emphasis. (…) The entrance rite is meant to focus on the couple and celebrate* their *union, not to single out the bride and draw attention to her beauty. The congregation is also prevented, in this way of beginning the ceremony, from welcoming the couple through the presiding minister and from singing its entrance song.
 
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