Did you ask/receive a sign that he/she is the one?

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I’m courting a girl right now, and I think she could be the one, but I’m still not 100% sure. Did you ask/receive a sign (from God or a saint) that he/she is the one? Do you really need a sign? What if you just know? Thank you in advance!
 
While God may send people into your life, he does not pre set “soul mates”. Marriage must be a free choice. It is up to you to first discern whether she will be a good wife and mother and care for your soul.

Pray a lot. Pray together.

Make sure that you’ve discussed all of the big deal breaker issues and are in agreement.

See a priest for -pre-engagement counseling. See if you can take the foccus inventory.

Make a decision about it.
 
The moment I saw my husband I just knew. It was clear as a bell the second I saw his face that he was the one for me. I did, however, have the sense to secure an introduction and get to know him so that I could confirm the belief he was it for me before I married him. 😃 We met October 1999, have been together as a couple since December 1999, and married (civilly…long story) December 2002. Sometimes we make each other crazy, sometimes we strongly disagree, but we’re happily married and love each other very much.

Some people know right away, some have that knowledge creep up on them over time, and some say they very clearly got a sign. There is no right answer for everyone. You have to figure out for yourself if you and this woman are able to make a good and lifelong marriage.
 
The most important thing is that you resolve when you marry that when the thought crosses your mind “what was I thinking when I married her?”, you will remind yourself that the only important thing is that you did. No matter who you marry, frustration combined with self-centeredness will bring that thought to your mind. Be ready for it, and don’t fall for it.
 
I received no sign but complete peace with my decision. I had no qualms about my marriage. The only concern that flitted into my mind was a doubt on if the timing was right, but there was no doubt in my heart that he was the man to marry. If someone has doubts, they need to address them. I feel that the peace and sureness I felt was God’s approval of my marriage partner choice.
 
FrenzyJen said:
I received no sign but complete peace with my decision. I had no qualms about my marriage. The only concern that flitted into my mind was a doubt on if the timing was right, but there was no doubt in my heart that he was the man to marry. If someone has doubts, they need to address them. I feel that the peace and sureness I felt was God’s approval of my marriage partner choice.
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Yes, there ought to be peace, provided that you are the kind who is willing to make a commitment with a sense of peace. There are many in these times who are afraid of a commitment, though, and so it is not necessarily the other person who is the issue. It is their unwillingness to believe that a person with some faults could be The One, or that they, a person with faults who is still growing and changing, is capable of making a commitment and sticking with it for life.

It can be hard to know whether you sense that you ought to hold back for the time being, having reason to refrain from committing at this particular time or with this particular person, or if your real reservation is about making a definitive and lifelong commitment. Many people wrestle with that. I’d say that just waiting won’t necessarily answer that kind of question. Those who trust inertia to teach them something often wait around a long time and aren’t any closer to knowing after years of waiting. I guess I’d say that if you have questions, it is a good idea to identify what the questions are and to make a move to get the questions answered. Patience is required, but time alone only does so much.
 
God may send you many compatible women. Each is a gift in her own way. Unfortunately, you still must choose which one!
 
I think that sometimes the signs are not sent by God, but they are there nonetheless. However, I think that often, the signs are that someone is not “the one” but people choose to overlook those signs.
 
I didn’t receive any sign, but when my husband and his family began attending my family’s church, when we were both teenagers, the moment he walked into my Sunday School classroom, I had a sudden interior knowledge that I would marry him someday. Sometimes, it feels surreal when I recall it, but I know that I soon after shared that knowledge with my parents, and THEY have always remembered it, too. But no, there was no exterior sign.
 
I did pray for a sign from St Therese and received it. I prayed a novena asking for a sign of roses if I should pursue a relationship with a particular guy or not.

Pink roses: Don’t pursue the relationship.
Yellow roses: Go for it.

On the day the guy and I parted ways, I received a pink rose. A couple years or so later, I met another guy in a college class. We would sit next to each other and shared a lot in common. One day he was late to class, but did get to sit next to me because I saved him a seat. I decided, for whatever reason, to tell him the story about St. Therese and my pink rose that day. He started laughing, but wouldn’t tell me what he thought was so funny. Turns out he was late to class because he was busy placing an order at the florist’s for a bouquet of yellow roses for me.

It was definitely nice to receive these signs, but no one should be discouraged if they don’t have a similar experience. If God knows you want to follow His will in choosing a spouse He will certainly help you.
 
stelline said:
I did pray for a sign from St Therese and received it. I prayed a novena asking for a sign of roses if I should pursue a relationship with a particular guy or not.

Pink roses: Don’t pursue the relationship.
Yellow roses: Go for it.

On the day the guy and I parted ways, I received a pink rose. A couple years or so later, I met another guy in a college class. We would sit next to each other and shared a lot in common. One day he was late to class, but did get to sit next to me because I saved him a seat. I decided, for whatever reason, to tell him the story about St. Therese and my pink rose that day. He started laughing, but wouldn’t tell me what he thought was so funny. Turns out he was late to class because he was busy placing an order at the florist’s for a bouquet of yellow roses for me.

It was definitely nice to receive these signs, but no one should be discouraged if they don’t have a similar experience. If God knows you want to follow His will in choosing a spouse He will certainly help you.
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Thank you for sharing. Did you marry the guy who ordered the yellow roses for you?
 
I was praying to the Holy Spirit, asking His guidance for my relationship. I was unsure if marriage was my calling (I had discerned the priesthood previously). I opened the Bible and happened to open to a verse I wasn’t previously familiar with - Sirarch 26:1 “Happy is the man who has a good wife…”
 
No, I did not ask for or receive any supernatural signs, but there is absolutely no doubt that my husband is the man I was supposed to marry. I find it to hard to separate legitimate asking for signs from superstition, so I tend to shy away from such things, but for those who can separate the two that is great. But do know that supernatural signs are not necessary to know what your vocation in life is. Good luck with your discernment and God bless. 🙂
 
Most people don’t get a “sign”, even if they ask for one. So while you can ask for one, if you don’t receive one it doesn’t mean anything.

Also, there are a lot of people who could potentially be “the one”. There is no such thing as a soulmate, so what is more important is wisely discerning the person you’ll marry and then once you’ve made that choice, sticking to your vows.

Personally, although there were other (mostly financial) factors at play, I think my husband and I took way too long to figure things out. I was terrified that I would choose the “wrong person” and didn’t understand at the time that the person you marry IS the “right person”. I had no idea how all these people seemed to “just know”. I still don’t know what that’s about (though I am not questioning that it happens for some people), but once I got over the ridiculous notion that there is one person out there for you and you have to seek out that person and hope you are right, everything fell into place. I realized that I really did want to marry him, more than anything. I was very much at peace with it all.
 
I would be careful about looking for “signs”, since it is easy to misinterpret.

When I first met my future wife, I saw a vision of St. Peter standing behind her holding a sign that said “She is the one.” However, I did not know if what I saw as a “sign” meant that: “she was the one” – to marry, or if she would be a future business partner, or some sort of sage / guide that could teach me something important.

Over time it became clear as we got to know each other.

Thus, rather than looking for “signs”, I think it is more important to know yourself, and then get to know your potential spouse.

Good luck.
 
dedo said:
I would be careful about looking for “signs”, since it is easy to misinterpret.
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My spiritual director had a classmate in formation who asked God to make a seemingly dead bush bloom if God wanted him to become a priest. The plant bloomed, but nevertheless he dropped out a few months later. Some “signs” really are just coincidences. 🤷
 
AllSeasons said:
I’m courting a girl right now, and I think she could be the one, but I’m still not 100% sure. Did you ask/receive a sign (from God or a saint) that he/she is the one? Do you really need a sign? What if you just know? Thank you in advance!
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I didn’t ask for a sign and I didn’t receive one.

But I never felt like I needed a sign, either.

After about a year of dating, I knew she was it. Took me a couple more years to propose but I knew all along.

Best "sign’ of all is that I never got cold feet. Sure, I was nervous on the day of the wedding because I understood the gravity of the whole thing. So I think that’s normal. But never for a nanosecond thought about turning back.
 
😊 I was actually an atheist when I met my husband. (Long story short, I lost my faith after experiencing severe trauma and only recently returned to the Church.) I knew he was “the one” because not only did we have similar values and goals and were able to get along without me feeling like I was going to pass out from nervousness, but it also just felt right. It “fit.” Even when I didn’t believe in God, I saw so much “destiny” in how I got together with him that it almost made me start believing again. And then I did when he dragged me to church, even though he is still what he calls a “post-Catholic.”

Looking back now, I can see how everything worked out for us to get together, and how even one change could have made it never happen. Example:
  • I had to convert to Catholicism, giving me the desire to attend a Catholic college.
  • I had to go to that specific college, where I met his sister.
  • I had to join a club that she was in.
  • I had to become friends with her long enough for her to introduce us, even though I at first disliked her and we have very different personalities, which is why we are no longer friends.
  • I also had to be desperate enough to be willing to date my sister’s friend over the phone/skype for the first part of a relationship instead of being able to date someone at my school.
So no, I didn’t have one conclusive “sign.” I feel like those cases are really rare. And I think it can be dangerous to ask for one. I remember I used to ask St. Therese for roses constantly, to the extent that (in my opinion) it became superstition in my case. I don’t believe in soulmates, but I do think that maybe God guides us towards a certain person for whatever reason of His. Life is not like the movies, and I feel like romantic movies can make people feel that their relationship is not “perfect” enough because it doesn’t match up to the fiction.

Pray, and discern, but don’t overthink it.
 
Hello. My name is Tricia. I’m currently in RCIA classes in PA. I grew up United Methodist in Southeast Texas, my husband grew up Roman Catholic in Rochester, NY. On April 9th well have been married 20 years.

I GOT A MESSAGE FROM GOD: “That is the man you are going to marry.”

I had just vowed off men. Really was thinking then of becoming Catholic so I could then become a Nun. That is because I had a relationship I thought was wonderful turn HORRIFIC and then fall apart. So I wanted to date no one.

I was sitting in a continuing education American Sign Language class at the local college. Class had started, we were introducing ourselves to each other. A man stepped into the room. At that moment as I turned my head everything went away, the sounds, smells, people. I felt like I was floating but then I saw only the face of the man. I felt the words being spoken to me. Like the words were heard by me but it was an understanding without sound. I remember gasping at which time I came too. I asked to get a drink of water. And I couldn’t believe what I just learned.

I didn’t interact with him until the end of our class. He was leaving for a business trip and was going to miss the review. He was taking the class because his brother is Deaf. I felt that he needed to know how to sign more than anyone else so I offered to take notes. We’ve been together ever since.

Sincerely, Tricia
 
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