Did you end up ignoring or refusing your religious vocation call?

[HeWillProvide]

Did you have a call to the religious life and you chose a different way of life? What happened? Do you wish you had gone the religious life route?

 

[Trishie]

My parish priest talked me out of it. As soon as my life took another direction, he left the prieshood and the Church. I guess he wasn’t going to back up my vocation with this intention on his mind!

There’s nothing one can do and no use crying for opportunity lost…but sometimes…a sadness.
You just have to do your best in the other direction you took, and ask God to help you live that life well.

 

[Shoshana]

I spent two years in the convent and due ot circumstances, my dream shattered. I then married and am still married…but I still have the yearning to be a nun. Sometimes a great sadness affects me also.

 

[Sam_Maloney]

Maybe.

Though raised Catholic, I was very lukewarm until I was in my 30s.

I was unmarried, and as my faith began to grow I prayed ‘Please God, don’t call me to be a priest. Anything but that…’

But when I began to fall in love with Him, my prayer changed ‘Please God, call me: nothing but that…’

But the circumstances of my life made it essentially impossible, so I waited, as Mother Angelica says, for an opening… which never came.

Yet I know I could have made it work, you can find a way if you are willing to take the risk.

In the years since, my faith has waxed and wained. I can’t say I’ve been happy, and life is more often a burden than a blessing.

But I haven’t seen any evidence that I would have made a good priest. I could have written and delivered fine homilies, but the real hard work of reaching out to people on a one on one basis, revealing Christ through my own gentleness… sadly, I don’t think so.

I don’t think I was called, but who really knows if they don’t try?

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Unable to enter religious life mainly due to impediment, but determined to devote myself entirely to The Lord and His Gospel, I made private vows some 30 odd years ago and continue in this way of life. It has been quite a journey and initially I did not feel personallyh a call at all and felt very much that I was ‘swimming uphill’ - it is only in later years that I have been conscious of call and vocation to this way of life.

 

[Nick9]

this is an interesting thread. I could very well end up as one of those people who believed they had a vocation, but never found out. I have felt some kind of call for years, but though I visited many places, I never jumped into the water. I am now looking into religious life and am about to go for a live-in. A number of times I have been told that I do not have a vocation (to the previous places I visited), but the nagging feeling that I do stays with me. Contemplative life is the only one I haven’t really discerned yet, so that is what I am looking at.

I met a man not long ago who said he had received a call to the priesthood, but he didn’t follow it up. He regrets it now that he is too old to apply. Still, he serves in his church and is doing ok. My answer to him was: “how do you know you had a call? Maybe you did what God wanted you to do.” This may be so, but he still has deep regrets over it. He says he still feels the call even though he is well beyond the age of acceptance at 73. I cannot see how he is still being called at that age, unless the call is a part of our nature; of who we are.

 

[reginacaeli]

I met a man not long ago who said he had received a call to the priesthood, but he didn’t follow it up. He regrets it now that he is too old to apply. Still, he serves in his church and is doing ok. My answer to him was: “how do you know you had a call? Maybe you did what God wanted you to do.” This may be so, but he still has deep regrets over it. He says he still feels the call even though he is well beyond the age of acceptance at 73. I cannot see how he is still being called at that age, unless the call is a part of our nature; of who we are.

It’s not likely, but it’s also not impossible. A 75-year-old man in Michigan was ordained last year. If it’s God’s will, anything is possible if we cooperate.

 

[mercygate]

I had a burning, raging desire to enter Religious life in my late teens and early 20s. In my denomination, there were few Religious communities, and none that had a charism that aligned wth my own gifts.

Everything I had read about vocation indicated that WANTING this was an indication that the call was not genuine. The impression was that the only “real” vocation was one that went completely against your own wishes and will.

Still, I made a vocation retreat but felt absolutely pushed out of that house – despite the fact that the way of life was “perfect” in every respect. That was a long time ago, and when I see what has become of that community over the years, I consider it an act of divine providence that kept me out!

I married – happily – and have a beautiful family. After many years, the attraction to vowed life remained, and could no longer be dismissed as an adolescent passion that I had failed to outgrow.

I now live the rule of the Confraternity of Penitents under private vows. I offer all of my prayer life and the discipline of our Rule for the support of priests.

 

[Nick9]

Everything I had read about vocation indicated that WANTING this was an indication that the call was not genuine. The impression was that the only “real” vocation was one that went completely against your own wishes and will.

this is the opposite of what I was told. I was told that wanting to do something is a sign of God’s call. But, as you said, your desire remained and you are now living private vows, so the desire did have some origin in God.

 

[Nick9]

It’s not likely, but it’s also not impossible. A 75-year-old man in Michigan was ordained last year. If it’s God’s will, anything is possible if we cooperate.

Thanks for the link. I am not sure that this man’ health is up to it (heart trouble and diabetes), however, besides he was told years ago that he was too old by his bishop. It is interesting that I was told that I was too old at 35 to be considering priesthood. I wonder how many of a similar age have been discouraged in that way?

 

[mercygate]

this is the opposite of what I was told. I was told that wanting to do something is a sign of God’s call. But, as you said, your desire remained and you are now living private vows, so the desire did have some origin in God.

Too bad it took me a hundred years to figure that out!

 

[mercygate]

Thanks for the link. I am not sure that this man’ health is up to it (heart trouble and diabetes), however, besides he was told years ago that he was too old by his bishop. It is interesting that I was told that I was too old at 35 to be considering priesthood. I wonder how many of a similar age have been discouraged in that way?

I don’t know how old you are now or whether you life circumstances permit but 35 is now considered “young”. Go for it if you are able.

 

[Nick9]

I don’t know how old you are now or whether you life circumstances permit but 35 is now considered “young”. Go for it if you are able.

Thanks for the encouragment. I went for discernment for priesthood and was told I didn’t have a vocation. Interestingly, it was discerned that I didn’t have a deep desire for it but was responding to a sense that this was what I ***ought ***to do. To be honest, I have struggled discerning what it is I do want to do, other than God’s will in general. I am now looking into religious life and the signs are positive.

 

[Shoshana]

I don’t know how old you are now or whether you life circumstances permit but 35 is now considered “young”. Go for it if you are able.

I would have to agree. I know a Carmelite that joined the order after losing his wife…he has 9 adult children!

 

[ASimpleSinner]

I put myself in a position where sex, drugs and rock n’ roll became the “plan for the day” with the idea in the back of my mind that “I would live right later”.

I am struggling mightily now to live right, now that it is later.

Had I been more dilligent in my youth, I may very well have completed seminary and gone on to ordination… Or may not have… Only God knows.

I would encourage anyone even THINKING about a vocation to go to confession weekly, and do one’s best to go to Mass at least once during the week above and beyond Sundays and Holy Days.

 

[Shoshana]

I put myself in a position where sex, drugs and rock n’ roll became the “plan for the day” with the idea in the back of my mind that “I would live right later”.

I am struggling mightily now to live right, now that it is later.

Had I been more dilligent in my youth, I may very well have completed seminary and gone on to ordination… Or may not have… Only God knows.

I would encourage anyone even THINKING about a vocation to go to confession weekly, and do one’s best to go to Mass at least once during the week above and beyond Sundays and Holy Days.

Have you heard of Father John Corapi?

 

[NetNuncio]

I have to agree and, if anyone reading this think he might possibly have a vocation, go to the seminary. That is where you will find out and either grow in that vocation or find out that it isn’t for you.

In my younger days I had always thought I’d be priest. Then I went to college and almost went, but never did. Finally I found a great woman and got married. I love my wife very, very much…but I often get a feeling of intense sorrow. At that point I find a way to do penance for ignoring the call.

Trust me…there is nothing that this earth can do to you, nothing on this earth that is worth the feeling of sorrow of ignoring a vocation. It won’t hurt you to at least give it a shot.

 

[mercygate]

I have to agree and, if anyone reading this think he might possibly have a vocation, go to the seminary. That is where you will find out and either grow in that vocation or find out that it isn’t for you.

In my younger days I had always thought I’d be priest. Then I went to college and almost went, but never did. Finally I found a great woman and got married. I love my wife very, very much…but I often get a feeling of intense sorrow. At that point I find a way to do penance for ignoring the call.

Trust me…there is nothing that this earth can do to you, nothing on this earth that is worth the feeling of sorrow of ignoring a vocation. It won’t hurt you to at least give it a shot.

Amen.

 

[simon_op]

What an intriguing thread.
You just forced me to think again about those girls who were my sisters during the first years of formation. A few of them left: they have their families now, as far as I know. One or two cannot find the sense of life, just like they did not found it in the convent. I had the infrequent occasions to meet some of them – I belong to the American Province now and most of them live back in Poland. But many are just grateful to God for the time they could spend in the convent. They learn a lot about themselves and their relation to God, to others. They use this knowledge now in their everyday life. From time to time they feel sorry. But they are not sad. They made their choice. One of them told me that after few years she thinks now that her vocation was temporary – she needed that time in our Congregation to grow to other things that God prepared for her.
Those who still cannot find their point are the constant theme of my reflection…What was wrong? Should they stay? Try harder? I don’t know…But I am thankful that I am here, that I was never tested to the point of leaving, never discern again. I pray for those who are gone.

 

[mercygate]

What an intriguing thread.
You just forced me to think again about those girls who were my sisters during the first years of formation. A few of them left: they have their families now, as far as I know. One or two cannot find the sense of life, just like they did not found it in the convent. I had the infrequent occasions to meet some of them – I belong to the American Province now and most of them live back in Poland. But many are just grateful to God for the time they could spend in the convent. They learn a lot about themselves and their relation to God, to others. They use this knowledge now in their everyday life. From time to time they feel sorry. But they are not sad. They made their choice. One of them told me that after few years she thinks now that her vocation was temporary – she needed that time in our Congregation to grow to other things that God prepared for her.
Those who still cannot find their point are the constant theme of my reflection…What was wrong? Should they stay? Try harder? I don’t know…But I am thankful that I am here, that I was never tested to the point of leaving, never discern again. I pray for those who are gone.

I bolded the most telling phrase in your post. Indeed: many people are just unable to live where they ARE. As one who could not pursue a vocation in Religious life, I DO wistfully think about the road not taken and wonder about ‘what might have been,’ yet I am fully committed to my husband, my family, my mission as a Christian – and I am happy in my life.