Did you end up ignoring or refusing your religious vocation call?

[NetNuncio]

I bolded the most telling phrase in your post. Indeed: many people are just unable to live where they ARE. As one who could not pursue a vocation in Religious life, I DO wistfully think about the road not taken and wonder about ‘what might have been,’ yet I am fully committed to my husband, my family, my mission as a Christian – and I am happy in my life.

I think it’s important, though, that there be a difference between considering “what might have been” and knowing you rejected your intended vocation. Certainly, I wonder what might have happened had I chosen a different career path or worked on a family relationship in a different way. This is different, however. If I really wanted to, I could go back to school and give that other career a shot. I could give that family member a call and try a different path in relationship. Certainly, these are difficult things, but they aren’t impossible. If I felt it was God’s will for me to be a fireman or a teacher, I could fulfill his will by doing those things, even though it would take great sacrifice. However, as a married man I can no longer fulfill my vocation to the priesthood. Again, I love my wife so very much. The mercy of God is so incredibly evident in that, even though I rejected his call, I was graced with such an amazing woman. However, I think wondering “what might have been” in careers, etc., is far different than the sorrow that comes with rejecting one’s vocation.

 

[mercygate]

I think it’s important, though, that there be a difference between considering “what might have been” and knowing you rejected your intended vocation. Certainly, I wonder what might have happened had I chosen a different career path or worked on a family relationship in a different way. This is different, however. If I really wanted to, I could go back to school and give that other career a shot. I could give that family member a call and try a different path in relationship. Certainly, these are difficult things, but they aren’t impossible. If I felt it was God’s will for me to be a fireman or a teacher, I could fulfill his will by doing those things, even though it would take great sacrifice. However, as a married man I can no longer fulfill my vocation to the priesthood. Again, I love my wife so very much. The mercy of God is so incredibly evident in that, even though I rejected his call, I was graced with such an amazing woman. However, I think wondering “what might have been” in careers, etc., is far different than the sorrow that comes with rejecting one’s vocation.

We’re on the same page here.

To fill in the blank, because even through all the MANY years, I still felt drawn to prayer and contemplation, I asked myself:

What is the essence of the life I did not pursue?
Is there an aspect of that life that I could or should be living even in my present circumstances?
How much of this is a fantasy and how much of it is ‘real’?

The answers to those questions brought me to ground. I realized that prayer was the center of my desire and that prayer is possible in any condition of life. My children were grown, so I could devote a fair chunk of time to prayer. I had always been drawn to the idea of sharing a life with a community. Hmmm? How could THAT work? In my pre-Catholic days, I had been a seminarian on my way to priesthood: what did I need to do to appropriate THAT piece of my heart?

I began to pray the LOH and attend daily Mass. My particular dedication is for priests. I became a pledged and vowed member of a lay Confraternity . . . and I now have balanced both halves of my heart in an intense but realistic way.

 

[Padilla7921]

I have to agree and, if anyone reading this think he might possibly have a vocation, go to the seminary. That is where you will find out and either grow in that vocation or find out that it isn’t for you.

You want to hear something funny/ironic/miraculous/amazing? I’ve been a member of this site for years, but under different names. I recently created this particular name not too long ago (late teens in Oct, maybe early 20s, not really sure off the top of my head).

Tuesday of last week, I had a meeting with a local priest about my call to the priesthood. It went well, very well. This past Tuesday (two days ago), I had another meeting with another priest, but this time that priest was the Director of Vocations for my diocese. Well, that meeting went rather unexpectedly, but in a good way.

Right now, I’m faced with the decision of transferring out of UCF (University Central Florida) and heading to the minor seminary in Miami. I suppose I’ve already made the decision in my heart, but right now, the thought keeps popping up in my head. My decision isn’t really about discernment or anything, but choosing when to actually enter the seminary so I can go on to the priesthood.

Then I saw your post. This is truly a sign from God (if anything!) telling me that I must follow my heart, my soul, on this. Thank you for your wonderful timing (which is, no doubt, in perfect sync with God’s Will), as your post is just one of many signs that have pointed in the direction of “now” rather than “later.”

 

[mercygate]

You want to hear something funny/ironic/miraculous/amazing? I’ve been a member of this site for years, but under different names. I recently created this particular name not too long ago (late teens in Oct, maybe early 20s, not really sure off the top of my head).

Tuesday of last week, I had a meeting with a local priest about my call to the priesthood. It went well, very well. This past Tuesday (two days ago), I had another meeting with another priest, but this time that priest was the Director of Vocations for my diocese. Well, that meeting went rather unexpectedly, but in a good way.

Right now, I’m faced with the decision of transferring out of UCF (University Central Florida) and heading to the minor seminary in Miami. I suppose I’ve already made the decision in my heart, but right now, the thought keeps popping up in my head. My decision isn’t really about discernment or anything, but choosing when to actually enter the seminary so I can go on to the priesthood.

Then I saw your post. This is truly a sign from God (if anything!) telling me that I must follow my heart, my soul, on this. Thank you for your wonderful timing (which is, no doubt, in perfect sync with God’s Will), as your post is just one of many signs that have pointed in the direction of “now” rather than “later.”

I am not a fan of “discernment.” It is too often used as an excuse for not jumping out of the boat. You can’t walk on water if you don’t get out of the boat. Just say, “Lord; if it is you, bid me come to you on the water.” And jump!

 

[Yellow_Belle]

Did you have a call to the religious life and you chose a different way of life? Possibly What happened? **A traumatic life-altering event. Not prepared to say more than that. **Do you wish you had gone the religious life route? Sometimes, but I think there’s merit in the belief that 'all roads lead to where we are’

 

[Padilla7921]

I am not a fan of “discernment.” It is too often used as an excuse for not jumping out of the boat. You can’t walk on water if you don’t get out of the boat. Just say, “Lord; if it is you, bid me come to you on the water.” And jump!

Truer words have never been said. However, my two years here at UCF were part of God’s Will, I believe. I grew up, I matured. To be very honest, I don’t think it would have happened like this if I had gone straight into seminary out of high school. However, I feel called now, and I suppose that’s what I’ll do.

 

[mercygate]

Truer words have never been said. However, my two years here at UCF were part of God’s Will, I believe. I grew up, I matured. To be very honest, I don’t think it would have happened like this if I had gone straight into seminary out of high school. However, I feel called now, and I suppose that’s what I’ll do.

 

[hhdavid]

Yellow_Belle:
Originally Posted by HeWillProvide
Did you have a call to the religious life and you chose a different way of life? Yes. What happened? A traumatic life-altering event. Not prepared to say more than that. Do you wish you had gone the religious life route? Sometimes, but I think there’s merit in the belief that ‘all roads lead to where we are’

And now after a few more tragic, life shattering events I am now back full circle. Widowed, youngest child is 15, and I still have a calling. Now the discernment between religious or secular order is in the forefront of my mind. I’m widowed as of Sept. 07, so I have a waiting period as far as some religious orders go. I’ve decided to talk to my priest and see if he would be willing/able to be my spiritual advisor. There is a Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites in my parish. This is really what I am attracted to due to some health issues. I would not want to be in a vowed community and have financially draining health issues. I just keep praying, for my own discernment and for the discernment of others in this forum. God Bless you all.

 

[mercygate]

Originally Posted by HeWillProvide
Did you have a call to the religious life and you chose a different way of life? Possibly What happened? A traumatic life-altering event. Not prepared to say more than that. Do you wish you had gone the religious life route? Sometimes, but I think there’s merit in the belief that ‘all roads lead to where we are’

And now after a few more tragic, life shattering events I am now back full circle. Widowed, youngest child is 15, and I still have a calling. Now the discernment between religious or secular order is in the forefront of my mind. I’m widowed as of Sept. 07, so I have a waiting period as far as some religious orders go. I’ve decided to talk to my priest and see if he would be willing/able to be my spiritual advisor.

DEFINITELY pursue spiritual direction. You have some heavy discernment to do. May God prosper your quest.

 

[fannypanny]

me?!?! i havent found mine just as yet.
but one of my friends who is now about 35yrs became a numerary at the age of 16. She said she heard her calling much earlier but refused that call by going out, partying etc etc. but yeah, ineveitably, tears and all she followed her vocation. This occured after one of her retreats that she went for.
actually, i have 2 other friends who became numerary’s at 16. but they always say that tears were always apart of the case.

 

[hhdavid]

DEFINITELY pursue spiritual direction. You have some heavy discernment to do. May God prosper your quest.

Yes, very heavy. Thank you for your prayers. I continue to pray for all those discerning vocations.

Happy New Year everyone!

 

[zaramarie81]

I think it’s important, though, that there be a difference between considering “what might have been” and knowing you rejected your intended vocation. Certainly, I wonder what might have happened had I chosen a different career path or worked on a family relationship in a different way. This is different, however. If I really wanted to, I could go back to school and give that other career a shot. I could give that family member a call and try a different path in relationship. Certainly, these are difficult things, but they aren’t impossible. If I felt it was God’s will for me to be a fireman or a teacher, I could fulfill his will by doing those things, even though it would take great sacrifice. However, as a married man I can no longer fulfill my vocation to the priesthood. Again, I love my wife so very much. The mercy of God is so incredibly evident in that, even though I rejected his call, I was graced with such an amazing woman. However, I think wondering “what might have been” in careers, etc., is far different than the sorrow that comes with rejecting one’s vocation.

I find this thread fascinating! I had to jump in because I agree there is a real difference between wistfully wondering “what might have been” and actually rejecting a clear call. And I also think there is a danger in mixing the two up, as sometimes our emotions tug at us and tempt us to feel we made a “mistake” in our current vocation, even tempting some to break vows.

I am in the midst of discerning marriage with my boyfriend and thus have been very reflective lately about what it takes to discern God’s will! I’m inching closer to 30 and have enough history now to look back and sometimes wonder about paths I could have taken. The hardest has been a broken engagement where for a time after it was called off, I felt very strongly I made a mistake in rejecting that vocation. But the reality is, this man and I could not have married at that time, and for various reasons the doors remain closed time and time again. So I have to conclude it wasn’t God’s will, no matter how “strongly” I felt afterward about it. This frees me up to discern other vocations!

 

[HeWillProvide]

*Everything I had read about vocation indicated that WANTING this was an indication that the call was not genuine. The impression was that the only “real” vocation was one that went completely against your own wishes and will.
*
Why on earth would wanting to be a religious mean you do NOT have a call? And not wanting to be a religious means you DO have a call??

 

[HeWillProvide]

A number of times I have been told that I do not have a vocation (to the previous places I visited), but the nagging feeling that I do stays with me. Contemplative life is the only one I haven’t really discerned yet, so that is what I am looking at.

How is it that others can tell you whether or not you have a call? They know and you do not??

 

[nunsense]

I don’t think I have any answers for anyone else, but perhaps my story is worth telling - and others can decide what is useful in it.

I was raised in an agnostic family but converted at age 23 after working with Mother Teresa’s sisters. I thought I was called to be a nun at that time, but didn’t follow it up. Thirty years later, my adopted daughter was an adult and on her own, so after attending a parish renewal and experiencing a “second conversion”, I started to think about religious life again. By this time I was told that I was too old, over and over again. But I went overseas to England, where age didn’t seem to matter to them, and entered a Carmelite Monastery. I was there for eight months, but it wasn’t the right community for me, and I left one year ago. I continued discerning with different communities, both active and contemplative over the past year and am now going to enter a different Carmelite community in a matter of weeks. I honestly believe that this is where I belong and I finally have a great sense of peace about my vocation, but it has been a long hard road.

I don’t know why we go through what we do in life, or why we make the choices we do, but I do know that with God, all things are done well, and that all He cares about is the well being of our soul. So if we suffer a little (or a lot) in this life, so be it - as long as we are trying to come closer to God in all that we do, whether that is married life or single life or religious life. God can use everything for our benefit, if we direct our love and attention towards Him, and try to follow His commandments.

Our only real sadness or sorrow should be at displeasing Him. All else can be a tool in shaping us into the image of His Beloved Son.

 

[StarMaiden]

I don’t think I have any answers for anyone else, but perhaps my story is worth telling - and others can decide what is useful in it.

I was raised in an agnostic family but converted at age 23 after working with Mother Teresa’s sisters. I thought I was called to be a nun at that time, but didn’t follow it up. Thirty years later, my adopted daughter was an adult and on her own, so after attending a parish renewal and experiencing a “second conversion”, I started to think about religious life again. By this time I was told that I was too old, over and over again. But I went overseas to England, where age didn’t seem to matter to them, and entered a Carmelite Monastery. I was there for eight months, but it wasn’t the right community for me, and I left one year ago. I continued discerning with different communities, both active and contemplative over the past year and am now going to enter a different Carmelite community in a matter of weeks. I honestly believe that this is where I belong and I finally have a great sense of peace about my vocation, but it has been a long hard road.

I don’t know why we go through what we do in life, or why we make the choices we do, but I do know that with God, all things are done well, and that all He cares about is the well being of our soul. So if we suffer a little (or a lot) in this life, so be it - as long as we are trying to come closer to God in all that we do, whether that is married life or single life or religious life. God can use everything for our benefit, if we direct our love and attention towards Him, and try to follow His commandments.

Our only real sadness or sorrow should be at displeasing Him. All else can be a tool in shaping us into the image of His Beloved Son.

I am still trying to figure out what my path is, over the past 10 months I have gone through a lot that has shaken my faith really hard and I am still trying to recover. I know that I will be where I am supposed to be in Gods good time, not my own.

I hope that you don’t mind me asking, but which carmelite community are you entering?

May Our Lord and his gentle Mother bless you.

 

[nunsense]

I am still trying to figure out what my path is, over the past 10 months I have gone through a lot that has shaken my faith really hard and I am still trying to recover. I know that I will be where I am supposed to be in Gods good time, not my own.

I hope that you don’t mind me asking, but which carmelite community are you entering?

May Our Lord and his gentle Mother bless you.

Thank you.

You say your faith has been shaken, but look at it this way, temptation overcome makes us stronger, and faith shaken teaches us to trust God even more.

Over the past two years I have been through so much suffering that I can’t begin to describe it, but from this my trust in God has grown so strong that I can cherish every setback and humiliation that I have endured and praise Him for His mercy and generosity in giving me the gift of a religious vocation. So we must always be thankful when our faith is tested - because it is a great grace. As Christ said to St Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” ‑‑ 2 Corinthians 12:9

I will be entering Kirk Edge Carmelite Monastery in Sheffield, England. They follow the 1581 Constitutions of St Teresa (promulgated in 1990). Please pray for me. I will keep you in my prayers as well.

 

[StarMaiden]

Thank you.

You say your faith has been shaken, but look at it this way, temptation overcome makes us stronger, and faith shaken teaches us to trust God even more.

Over the past two years I have been through so much suffering that I can’t begin to describe it, but from this my trust in God has grown so strong that I can cherish every setback and humiliation that I have endured and praise Him for His mercy and generosity in giving me the gift of a religious vocation. So we must always be thankful when our faith is tested - because it is a great grace. As Christ said to St Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” ‑‑ 2 Corinthians 12:9

I will be entering Kirk Edge Carmelite Monastery in Sheffield, England. They follow the 1581 Constitutions of St Teresa (promulgated in 1990). Please pray for me. I will keep you in my prayers as well.

I will tuck you in my sleeve and hold you in my prayers.

 

[rivera01]

I actually attended a youth retreat when I was 17 with my wife, girlfriend at the time. A priest asked us if anyone felt the calling to the priesthood. Immediately when he said that I felt in my heart to stand up, but I didn’t because I was very much in love with my girlfriend. So many thought ran thru my mind, but I remained seated. I married my wife thru the Church. Now, my marriage life is in shambles. I was selfish and neglected my wife’s needs during the early years of our marriage. I changed and showed her that I was different, but for her, it’s as if it was too late. She filed for divorce, and we are seperated now. I don’t know, but I feel that as if what is happening in my life right now are the consequences of not standing up at that youth retreat.

 

[CarmeliteGirl25]

I actually attended a youth retreat when I was 17 with my wife, girlfriend at the time. A priest asked us if anyone felt the calling to the priesthood. Immediately when he said that I felt in my heart to stand up, but I didn’t because I was very much in love with my girlfriend. So many thought ran thru my mind, but I remained seated. I married my wife thru the Church. Now, my marriage life is in shambles. I was selfish and neglected my wife’s needs during the early years of our marriage. I changed and showed her that I was different, but for her, it’s as if it was too late. She filed for divorce, and we are seperated now. I don’t know, but I feel that as if what is happening in my life right now are the consequences of not standing up at that youth retreat.

I just have to respond to this. I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are not being punished for ignoring the call to the priesthood. God does not do that. He certainly knows that you would be happy with what He calls you to, but if in your own free will you decide it’s not right for you, He respects your decision and gives you happiness in any walk of life.

I want to say how sorry I am to hear about your marriage troubles, but don’t let it get you down. It’s not completely over yet, so keep praying about your wife and maintain a chaste life. Show her that in spite of your differences, you still love her very much, even if she doesn’t see it. God knows that you still love her, and there is still hope. Have you talked to a priest about your situation? Perhaps you could a spiritual director to help you with this difficulty. All I want to say is that you are not alone. You have my prayers.

May God bless you and give you His peace.