Did you ever experience being a "fallen a way Catholic" not going to mass any more?

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I got fed up with the politics in my parish. And the unveiled cliquishness.

When I first started attending the Catholic church in our town after we relocated here from southern California, I was eager to participate and contribute. We would hold potlucks in the parish hall, and more than once, the dish I brought was shoved off to some side location where it sat all alone and hardly anyone noticed it, while the main table had everyone else’s dishes that they brought. To me, that was an obvious snub. Space wasn’t the issue – room could have been made for my contribution. It was because I was new.

That, and other issues, caused me to finally quit going.
 
Yes I’ve been away several months because the whole basis of Christianity ceased to make sense and even with reading I could not reason to it and honestly it seemed made up. Sure I loves the Sens of security, community it gave me but I refuse to follow something that isn’t true
 
For awhile, I was one of several Eucharistic Ministers in my church. There was a precise schedule for the Masses for each E.M., and if you couldn’t attend the Mass for which you were scheduled, it was considered your duty to arrange for a substitute from the list of E.M.s to fill in for you. Not all of them were scheduled for the same time slot.

On the rare occasions when I couldn’t attend a Mass I was scheduled for, I dutifully went down the list and called each one who wasn’t already scheduled to minister at that Mass and politely asked if he or she could fill in for me.

You wouldn’t believe the excuses I kept hearing for refusing to do so!

Bottom line, I couldn’t get ANYONE to fill in for me. Later, I would get criticized for not finding a substitute, as if I didn’t try. It was automatically assumed that I hadn’t bothered. And even when I explained that nobody would help, it didn’t matter.

So much for the unwritten “honor system”!

That was another reason I stopped going. Their attitudes were completely unfair, and nobody would listen or help when I needed it.
 
I’m a revert. I was out of fellowship with the RCC for many years. I was never bitter against the church, and always passionately faithful. One of the biggest reasons I drifted away was that amongst my peers there seemed to be no Catholics who were passionate about growing in their faith - no Catholic young adult bible studies or prayer meetings. But I knew evangelical peers who were really trying to live out their faith and meeting weekly for bible study and prayer. I’m back for a thousand good reasons but I still see this as a weakness, unfortunately.
 
JanR said:
me, that was an obvious snub. Space wasn’t the issue – room could have been made for my contribution. It was because I was new.

That, and other issues, caused me to finally quit going.
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Could you find a different parish perhaps?
 
I was away a few years, it wasn’t that I didn’t believe worse it was disorganisation. My son was in a football club and they played a match every Sunday (usually away), in the beginning I made the effort of making mass but then I’d miss one or two, then three or four and so on until a few year had passed by. I made a big effort to get back and and been back now over a year.
 
It has been several years, and things have changed. Some of the older people have crossed over, and others are now physically unable to attend and participate. I am thinking of returning. My husband, a non-Catholic, is willing to attend with me. I’m feeling drawn back, now – and I think everyone has learned to be more respectful. I have seen attitudes change from the outside, over the years.
 
I live in a small town where the nearest Catholic church is some thirteen miles away. I can’t afford the gas and there are no Catholics here to give me a ride, so I haven’t gone in many years. I terribly miss the Eucharist.
 
Are there any Protestant churches near the Catholic church, that maybe some of your neighbors attend? Perhaps you can persuade some of the Protestants in your community to drop you off at the Catholic church while they go on to their own, then pick you up after their services, and yours, are over. If your church isn’t too far out of the way of theirs, they might be willing to do that. It would depend, of course, on the timing of their services versus yours – so neither of you would have to wait too long for the other.
 
Yes, 20+ years for me. I was a cradle Catholic raised in the faith until I left around 12. Briefly toyed with Christianity for a few months at 18 then went completely as far away from the Church as a new age, occult dabbling, Yoga hippie, Reiki performing Masonic door knocker (they wouldn’t have me fortunately) could go.

I returned on the Feast of St Benedict well over a year ago after an almost overnight Reconversion happened and made my confirmation this year. Spent my life searching for something right Infront of my nose at the start.

It’s great to be home at the ripe old age of 36 😊
 
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I have undiagnosed – or self-diagnosed – PTSD (post-traumatic strss disorder – anybody can have it). One trigger for making me emotionally upset is people talking in church. I don’t mean public prayers, I mean the distracting chattiness before, during, and after Mass.

With falling attendance, I think the clergy are reluctant to try to fix this problem – even Msgr. Pope in the Sunday Visitor magazine said the proper thing is not to talk in church. Our last bishop saw that happening and very gently but firmly told people at this one holy hour service that they shouldn’t be talking in church. I mean, it’s not just me that thinks this is wrong.

I wrote the bishop and explained my problem, even searching in nearby parishes where it was just as bad or worse in the closest parishes to me. He said he couldn’t excuse me from Mass, but said I didn’t have to confess if I didn’t attend Mass.

I have other “triggers” like priests clowning around in church or telling jokes.

I think this was the reason for my absence from Mass for some time. I dislike the phrase “fallen away Catholic” – it is too judgmental. To me, not attending Mass does not make one “fallen away.” In the OT, the Jews had to go to the Temple in Jerusalem only three times a year. I don’t think one has to be “seriously ill” to skip Mass, “sick” is enough to not go to Mass.

I had a skin infection and had a culture done to see if I had MRSA, and I was on a very strong antibiotic in case I had it. So, I researched it and it can be spread from one person to the next by skin contact or for athletes, by touching a towel from someone who has MRSA. So, I dislike shaking hands in church, too – drives me nuts.

i try to overlook my hangups and to go to Mass – I go to worship God. Psalms: “I rejoiced when they said unto me, we shall go up to the House of the LORD.”
 
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That’s a good idea and I thank you, but there are many, many protestant churches nearby. So far as I know everyone here who attends church does so at a church much closer to home than the nearest Catholic one.
 
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You know, one of my pet peeves are parents who sit in the pews during the homily (which some elderly people hard of hearing are TRYING to listen to) and allowing their babies or young toddlers to scream at the top of their lungs, when they KNOW FULL WELL there’s a cry room where they can take them and not disturb the services. Yet, they don’t budge. They just sit there and let their kids disrupt things. I’ve always felt this is extremely rude and inconsiderate of everyone else in the church. For some reason, most of the parents in our parish refuse to use the cry room. They know it’s there, and they know its purpose. I try to be charitable in my attitude, but there’s no excuse for that.
 
Is there public transportation that stops near your church on Sunday? Can you afford the fare?
 
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Is there public transportation that stops near your church on Sunday? Can you afford the fare?
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That’s a good idea and I thank you, but there are many, many protestant churches nearby. So far as I know everyone here who attends church does so at a church much closer to home than the nearest Catholic one.
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No. Some of the towns that do have churches also have public transportation but it doesn’t run on Sunday. The town in which I live has no public transportation at all.
 
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