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Maximilan_Kolbe
Guest
My wife was definitely attracted to me when we first met.
#heygoodlookin’whatchagotcookin’
#humiltyfirst
#heygoodlookin’whatchagotcookin’
#humiltyfirst
Did you feel something special when you first met your future spouse?
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Blue_Rose
Guest
Very interesting responses - Lots of you said it took a few dates before you felt the connection which helps me - I shouldn’t expect to feel some instant thing like they do in movies and as long as he’s not terrible, go on a few more dates and see how it goes.
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vivaforever
Guest
I’m so thankful I found this thread. I’ve been one of those guys who’s always really wanted to find my wife, but struggled with dating and putting myself out there (mostly due to social anxiety). But I recently moved to a new city and I’m getting older, so I’m trying to make more of an effort. Still just taking baby steps, but I feel a lot more confident and optimistic about my chances.
Which brings me to why I’ve been searching out on this topic. So in the past few weeks, I kept meeting people who would tell me, “Oh, you really need to meet ________. You would love her.” I was intrigued, but I kept in mind that this was the first time I had met these people, so they were probably just going off shared interests. Then a third person mentioned it, and this is someone who has been really sweet in looking out for me since I got here, so coming from her it carried more weight. I’d be lying if I said my mind didn’t go into excited “This could be my future wife!” mode.
I finally met her last week, and she’s pretty, she’s funny, she’s smart, and we have a lot in common…which is why I left baffled that I was not head-over-heels crushing over her. I liked her for sure, but I guess I was counting on the big spark, the angelic chorus in my mind, my grandfather (lovingly) slapping me on the back of the head from Heaven to say “She’s the one”…but it wasn’t there. Now, under normal circumstances, I would have been totally content in making a new friend (and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that), but the fact that she’d been hyped up for me made me wonder what exactly I missed.
All that said, I’m definitely an introvert and it usually takes me a little while to become truly comfortable enough to be myself around someone, and for that reason I’ve always expected that I would become friends with my future wife before it got further than that. (And realistically, I think I will be so much better off if that’s the case for a number of reasons.) So I can’t explain why exactly I was expecting or hoping for anything different, except what Blue_Rose mentioned–you’re so conditioned by movies and TV shows that that’s how it works despite the multitude of real-life examples that contradict it. (My brother-in-law couldn’t stand my sister when they first met…they were engaged a few months later.) We’ve been texting a little bit and will definitely see each other at events so hopefully we’ll connect more and I’ll get a better sense of whether this is a just-friends scenario or if the attraction will build up and something more could develop…I’m trying to keep an open mind and heart to either possibility. But reading this thread and seeing how it isn’t the norm to feel that instant “YES!” is definitely a relief.
Which brings me to why I’ve been searching out on this topic. So in the past few weeks, I kept meeting people who would tell me, “Oh, you really need to meet ________. You would love her.” I was intrigued, but I kept in mind that this was the first time I had met these people, so they were probably just going off shared interests. Then a third person mentioned it, and this is someone who has been really sweet in looking out for me since I got here, so coming from her it carried more weight. I’d be lying if I said my mind didn’t go into excited “This could be my future wife!” mode.
I finally met her last week, and she’s pretty, she’s funny, she’s smart, and we have a lot in common…which is why I left baffled that I was not head-over-heels crushing over her. I liked her for sure, but I guess I was counting on the big spark, the angelic chorus in my mind, my grandfather (lovingly) slapping me on the back of the head from Heaven to say “She’s the one”…but it wasn’t there. Now, under normal circumstances, I would have been totally content in making a new friend (and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that), but the fact that she’d been hyped up for me made me wonder what exactly I missed.
All that said, I’m definitely an introvert and it usually takes me a little while to become truly comfortable enough to be myself around someone, and for that reason I’ve always expected that I would become friends with my future wife before it got further than that. (And realistically, I think I will be so much better off if that’s the case for a number of reasons.) So I can’t explain why exactly I was expecting or hoping for anything different, except what Blue_Rose mentioned–you’re so conditioned by movies and TV shows that that’s how it works despite the multitude of real-life examples that contradict it. (My brother-in-law couldn’t stand my sister when they first met…they were engaged a few months later.) We’ve been texting a little bit and will definitely see each other at events so hopefully we’ll connect more and I’ll get a better sense of whether this is a just-friends scenario or if the attraction will build up and something more could develop…I’m trying to keep an open mind and heart to either possibility. But reading this thread and seeing how it isn’t the norm to feel that instant “YES!” is definitely a relief.
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